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*Disclaimer, this is full of 'bawww. If you'd rather not read it, don't bother posting some idiotic response about 'bawwing in general.

So I finally decided to take some time off from work (not alot, just 5 days) considering I working 6 days a week all year round. I've been in an extra bad place in the past few weeks, grating on my "situation" more and more, compounding things by torturing myself with sites like "Soulgeek" and "Geek2geek". Torture why? Because there are such awesome girlies on those sites that share so many of my interests and are cute too boot. Yet I'm "stuck" and can't persue them.

So these 5 days are going to land on the weekend and I've decided that I'm going to go visit my brother who lives 4hrs away. My GF always comes on these trips/vacations with me, but this time, due to school, she can't. (I planned it that way) So for the first time in 6 years (with maybe one exception) we're not going to be together for a few days. I mean we've literally not slept apart from each other more than 2 whole days in 6 years. So this is coming down hard on her (not so much on me since I really could care less).

Why do this? I really need a break. Not only from work, but from her. I need to remind myself that maybe, just maybe, I can make it without her and find someone who I can really connect with on most levels. What's the plan? I'm going to be talking to a couple of girls in the area where my brother lives and maybe, if I can get the timing right, go on a couple of dates before I come back. I NEED to see that there are options and as long as I'm home and have her around, I never will.

Is this "wrong"? Well obviously, yeah. I mean we sleep with other people often, but always with each other's consent and presence. This plan though, is pretty much, cheating on her to an extent. I'm slightly bothered by it mainly because I've never cheated on anyone, ever. I've been cheated on but never done it.

If this goes well, I may go through with something I've been talking to my GF about and that's moving to my brother's city a year before my GF graduates so that I can begin my schooling (as there is no college with a good Culinary program near here), but we'd see each other on weekends/holidays etc.

Wall_of_Text_00_01 crits you for 1,000,000pts of dmg.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Yikes, if she can't deal with you being away for that short a time, I don't blame you for the frustration.

Good luck with all this. It's not easy to break away from the familiar. I hope that you can eventually come clean with her. Whatever happens, I hope it turns out to be just what you need.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Actually, I would say some time apart is healthy for a lot of couples. My girlfriend and I are both quite independent, so we spend so much time apart we've had people ask us, "Are you sure you're a couple?" You two have spent six years without any time to yourself, I can't even imagine something like that.

Take some time off, away from her, and see what you want. Maybe after your trip you'll decide you still want to stay with her. Maybe you'll decide you want to break up. Maybe you'll decide you want to join a nunnery. Whatever happens, g'luck!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Sometimes you gotta take a risk rather than idling in what's most comfortable.

Best of luck Shegs, be strong. :uhhuh:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You know, from reading your situation in this relationship in past threads, I'm proud of you. This sounds like something you should have done a long time ago, and it's good that you're finally managing to try.

If you ultimately decide to break it off, though, don't string the girl along. It'd be bad for both of you.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Time for yourself is not wrong and I find it necessary for a healthy relationship. Good luck.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Yikes, 6 years with never more than 2 nights apart? That IS pretty bad. I can absolutely agree you wanting to break free....Though I personally couldn't/woulnd't cheat on her in your place. I dunno, I could never do it.
It might be a good thing for you, though, so best of luck with whatever you do...And if you happen to run into soe of those cute nerdy girls who like guys too, send them my way :-P

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Want really crazy?

At one point for a full year, a little over probably, we both worked at the same place, the same shift, and lived together. So that was a full year and so many months together 24hrs a day. :bush:

As for the "cheating", it's not like I'm going "one-night standing". I just want to see what it'd be like to actually be "out" with someone who can actually hold a decent conversation on even the smallest topics. rly:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm glad to hear that you've decided to take some action regarding your situation. Sometimes people in relationships just need some time apart. Being together, constantly, like you two seem to have been can be a real strain. My girlfriend and I are both independent and often stubborn people. We would both go insane if we had to spend every moment together. If this trip helps you to start trying to get yourself in a better position, then it will be a good thing. Just be careful word of any trysts doesn't get back to your girlfriend or you could end up broken up a lot sooner than planned.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

Want really crazy?

At one point for a full year, a little over probably, we both worked at the same place, the same shift, and lived together. So that was a full year and so many months together 24hrs a day. :bush:

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Good Lord.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

As for the "cheating", it's not like I'm going "one-night standing". I just want to see what it'd be like to actually be "out" with someone who can actually hold a decent conversation on even the smallest topics. rly:

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In that case, I applaud you and your ability to do so

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Here's another fun little tidbit: I've gone from a 3yr relationship, to a 4yr one to this 6yr one. I've never really dated and all 3 of these relationships I've had were pretty much me "clinging on to someone so I could float along a little longer" and never because I felt any real connection to them.

Frankie said:

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

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What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo;270981][quote=Frankie said:

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

Click to expand...

What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.[/QUOTE]

You will totally be into the person that you go out with. It's called "strange" and it's the reason a lot of people cheat. New "loves" are exciting, a bit dangerous and there's that element of the unknown thrown in.

Just don't mistake lust for love and make a mistake that's hard to come back from.

Or send a friend over to your house to seduce your girlfriend while you're gone. That way if she finds out you can guilt the fuck out of her.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Well, I'd hope that if I had any feeling for my current GF I wouldn't be able to be "into" the "new".

Then again, as I posted, I don't have alot of experience in that department.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Dave;270987][quote=Shegokigo;270981][quote=Frankie said:

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

Click to expand...

What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.[/QUOTE]

You will totally be into the person that you go out with. It's called "strange" and it's the reason a lot of people cheat. New "loves" are exciting, a bit dangerous and there's that element of the unknown thrown in.

Just don't mistake lust for love and make a mistake that's hard to come back from.

Or send a friend over to your house to seduce your girlfriend while you're gone. That way if she finds out you can guilt the fuck out of her. [/QUOTE]

Shall we start nominating Halforumites for this job?

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Dave said:

That way if she finds out you can fuck the guilt out of her.

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I'm sorry, I read it this way.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I totally did too Bubble, I did a double take the first time I read it.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

I totally did too Bubble, I did a double take the first time I read it.

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It's a scary thought that the more I read about/of you, the more I realize we do, in fact, have quite a few things in common. Great minds and all that, no doubt

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I approve of this thread, and the ideas portrayed herein.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Is UT the school in question?

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shego.... I'm proud of you Well I am glad you are deciding to go for happiness than "what is there" I think it might be good for you. You might be able to reflect what you have now and what you could have in the future.

normally I don't condone cheating (without your partner knowing) but I think you should see what can make you happy.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Well done! Hope you don't feel too guilty afterwards... Try to think that maybe you'll be technically cheating, but somehow you won't. You'll be just looking at the menu, not eating something you shouldn't (hmph, that works better in Spanish).

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

tegid said:

Well done! Hope you don't feel too guilty afterwards... Try to think that maybe you'll be technically cheating, but somehow you won't. You'll be just looking at the menu, not eating something you shouldn't (hmph, that works better in Spanish).

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Really? Seems to work pretty well in English. In fact, I might borrow it sometime.

Yoink!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shego, stop calling me. I'm not coming over to your place to fuck the guilt out of your GF.



Without you and my wife there too
.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Charlie Dont Surf said:

Is UT the school in question?

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Nope, but it is in the Norther Texas area. :slywink:

Chibibar said:

Shego.... I'm proud of you Well I am glad you are deciding to go for happiness than "what is there" I think it might be good for you. You might be able to reflect what you have now and what you could have in the future.

normally I don't condone cheating (without your partner knowing) but I think you should see what can make you happy.

Click to expand...

tegid said:

Well done! Hope you don't feel too guilty afterwards... Try to think that maybe you'll be technically cheating, but somehow you won't. You'll be just looking at the menu, not eating something you shouldn't (hmph, that works better in Spanish).

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Well, if I realize that my GF really truly isn't what I need in my life after this weekend, I'll be cutting it off there. So I don't see where any guilt may lie. If I realize that my GF really does mean more to me after seeing someonelse casually, then my feelings will be 'realized' and if anything, I'll be grateful I did it.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Dave;270987][quote=Shegokigo;270981][quote=Frankie said:

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

Click to expand...

What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.[/QUOTE]

You will totally be into the person that you go out with. It's called "strange" and it's the reason a lot of people cheat. New "loves" are exciting, a bit dangerous and there's that element of the unknown thrown in.

Just don't mistake lust for love and make a mistake that's hard to come back from.
[/QUOTE]

I'm with Dave on this. The grass is always greener.

However, from previous threads, it doesn't sound like you want to be with your current gf. What's the point of staying with her? I know you want to have her support you when she finishes school, but that won't give you a very fulfilling relationship.

I would probably talk to your gf and tell her your concerns. Stringing someone along until something better comes along isn't cool.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I can only hope your crucible is not a painful one.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

For good or ill, if your not happy, you need to find something that makes you happy. If doing this is going to make you happy or at least make you feel like you've tried to find something that will, then go for it. Don't worry about the honesty of it, if you really feel bad about it, you can always confess later (and by the sound of it, your girlfriend is probably enough of a doormat that she'll let it go.)

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Having been in a long distance relationship that recently went under, I kinda did jump the shark on the first guy who really tried to show that he had feelings for me. In fact, the first few months of our relationship (when we were still long distance) I kept telling everyone that I was just along for the ride. Needless to say, I got very lucky and fell in love with him. Yes, it was different at first (and that's why I liked it), but that difference made me realize that it was EXACTLY what I need right now.

After being with someone for such a long time (and in your case, finally being apart from them), it feels good, well, at least for me.

But to be honest, I would do the whole "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" thing with this. I hate to relate love to a job, but if your job is leaving you feeling less than fulfilled, why wouldn't you try looking around?

If you go and come back, you could realize how wrong you were and be honest, or how right it felt and be honest. I think whatever happens, you owe it to your girlfriend to be honest about what happened no matter what happens.

You deserve to be happy!!!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

drawn_inward said:

I would probably talk to your gf and tell her your concerns. Stringing someone along until something better comes along isn't cool.

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"I haven't loved you for the past 6yrs, I only used you for financial security and sexual promiscuity."

Probably wouldn't go over pretty well. As for "stringing her along", I wouldn't call it exactly that. I wasn't out looking for potential people to dump her for, she was just never important to me on an emotional level. It's just recently getting to the point where I'm beginning to want something more than just money and se..... wow was I really going to say that?

I think I really am starting to think that way now..... :bush:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Hmm. UNT is about 4 hours away from Austin

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

AshburnerX said:

For good or ill, if your not happy, you need to find something that makes you happy. If doing this is going to make you happy or at least make you feel like you've tried to find something that will, then go for it. Don't worry about the honesty of it, if you really feel bad about it, you can always confess later (and by the sound of it, your girlfriend is probably enough of a doormat that she'll let it go.)

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I really don't see myself feeling bad for doing it, either way the outcome is. It's for the best in either result. At least, for what I can forsee.

Vytamindi said:

Having been in a long distance relationship that recently went under, I kinda did jump the shark on the first guy who really tried to show that he had feelings for me. In fact, the first few months of our relationship (when we were still long distance) I kept telling everyone that I was just along for the ride. Needless to say, I got very lucky and fell in love with him. Yes, it was different at first (and that's why I liked it), but that difference made me realize that it was EXACTLY what I need right now.

After being with someone for such a long time (and in your case, finally being apart from them), it feels good, well, at least for me.

But to be honest, I would do the whole "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" thing with this. I hate to relate love to a job, but if your job is leaving you feeling less than fulfilled, why wouldn't you try looking around?

If you go and come back, you could realize how wrong you were and be honest, or how right it felt and be honest. I think whatever happens, you owe it to your girlfriend to be honest about what happened no matter what happens.

You deserve to be happy!!!

Click to expand...

I have no real idea how to leave her if I do decide to. She's just so emotionally invested in me I couldn't predict her actions if I tried. I kinda broke her "indepence" button when we got together and she really has trouble being apart for me for even a few hours. rly:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

All I can say is: Good luck, and hope you can find whatever it is you're searching for.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I went on a few dates while I was in the long-distance relationship that preceded meeting Mr. ZM. They never went anywhere but just meeting other guys did help me make up my mind that I needed to be out of that relationship. And yeah, of course I felt bad about it. And then I met the man who became my husband (not on a date).

So I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to the morality of it -- I just think looking to see what/who else is out there to make you happy is a great idea and I wish you luck with it.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo;271062][quote=drawn_inward said:

I would probably talk to your gf and tell her your concerns. Stringing someone along until something better comes along isn't cool.

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"I haven't loved you for the past 6yrs, I only used you for financial security and sexual promiscuity."

Probably wouldn't go over pretty well. As for "stringing her along", I wouldn't call it exactly that. I wasn't out looking for potential people to dump her for, she was just never important to me on an emotional level. It's just recently getting to the point where I'm beginning to want something more than just money and se..... wow was I really going to say that?

I think I really am starting to think that way now..... :bush:[/QUOTE]

Plus, I don't think it is truly stringing along. Both are getting something out of the relationship.

I think this trip will do Shego good. It will (like she said) either realization of her current relationship or terminate it.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Yeah... sounds like you are seeing the writing on the wall here Sheg. You don't want to be in this relationship and you want to move on with your life.

Go for it. And good luck.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo;271043][quote=Charlie Dont Surf said:

Is UT the school in question?

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Nope, but it is in the Norther Texas area. :slywink:
[/quote]

TWU? UNT?

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

UNF UNF UNF? UHHH? UHUH? UHM?

I dunno, just wanted to throw some U-rlated words out there. Seems to be the cool thing to do now.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Tinwhistler;271142][quote=Shegokigo;271043][quote=Charlie Dont Surf said:

Is UT the school in question?

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Nope, but it is in the Norther Texas area. :slywink:
[/quote]

TWU? UNT?[/QUOTE]

You beat me to it.

I'd offer up Texas Wesleyen, TCU, UNT, or TWU (texas women's university) as the four likely candidates. Which means, I could have run into either of you and not.ever.known.it.

Yikes!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

There's a lot of Texas HF peeps. we should party.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

If the gf is really as dependent as she sounds... you're going to have to be very, very careful if you do decide to leave her. You're going to have to be very blunt, leave no room for hope, and more or less break her heart.

And then hope that she isn't clingy enough to become a stalker ex-girlfriend.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I don't condone the deception you are about to commit, but it pales in comparison to the lie you've been living for 6 years.

You've been using her.

How have YOU changed that makes you believe your next relationship will be different? What makes you believe that you won't lie to or use your next girlfriend?

You can pretend that Mrs Right is going to come along and your relationship with her will be fundamentally different and more fulfilling, but I don't see it.

Try to work on that honesty thing. I hear it works wonders for relationships.

I don't mean to offend, or come off as condescending - you deserve happiness, and that must necessarily come at some cost and risk. But you deserve honest bluntness just as much as your girlfriend deserves it.

Don't shortchange yourself, and don't shortchange your SO, and you'll find the happiness you need. Take the risk and jump without the safety net - be completely open and honest.

Treat yourself, and treat her as living, loving, thinking, breathing human beings. You are using and lying to yourself as much as you are to her, and it's hurting both of you.

I understand the desire to test the waters first, but until you decide to ACT on what you KNOW you will never be free - even if the test comes back positive.

You can do it. You'll survive. And you will be better for the effort.

Good luck, Shego - you're worth it.

-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I have faith.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

Well, I'd hope that if I had any feeling for my current GF I wouldn't be able to be "into" the "new".

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Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind.

personally, i think people should do what makes them happy

however, i think you should also tell her.. even if you don't love her, i personally wouldn't recommend breaking her heart if she found out you cheated.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Amorous Eyes said:

Please don't disappoint me.

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I really REALLY do understand what you're saying Amorous, but one thing you're wrong about is that I'm already "decided". That's the thing, I'm "confused" about my current relationship. I don't think I have those kinds of feelings for her, yet at the same time I can't leave her (not just the financial thing anymore, even though it was that at first) I actually do not want to hurt her.

Maybe it's because I feel bad for bringing her this far, maybe because I actually have fallen in love with her. I'm not sure, I've done alot of things to try and figure this out but nothing has really "clicked" for me. This trip is to finally spend some time apart, to see what I feel while I'm away from her. I'm also curious if it's really "someone with common interests" that I want to be with OR what I have now is really the feeling I've been looking for but overlooking for so long.

I'm not trying to "be one of those girls", I'm simply trying to find some answers in my current relationship, even if I've come across as "decided".

Thank you for the blunt honesty Amorous, it's really appreciated. This response is also directed at you Stein, thank you as well.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

I'm simply trying to find some answers in my current relationship

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The answers are best found within the relationship - not anywhere else.

If you do not open up to her about your feelings, misgivings, fear, doubt, and lack of love then this relationship is utterly doomed. It can't function. It isn't functioning. It's already determined, regardless of what you are telling yourself about your decision.

Looking outside the relationship for answers about the relationship may give you some small amount of perspective, which may be all that you're looking for - the stifling presence of your SO could be limiting your view.

But at the end of the day, you're going to have to open up to her to find out what the relationship COULD be. Risk it, and succeed or fail, I guarantee you will be better off from the experience than if you keep hiding from it.

Don't risk it, and you'll forever wonder "what could have been..."

Sorry to be relentless on this topic, but relationships are tremendously hard, and there is some experience that people here have which, if you do the hard thing and follow it, will save you a lot of pain and difficulty later.

-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Plus I think we all assume you've already decided based on what you've been saying for quite a while. If you're unsure now, I'd be willing to bet it's because of how hard it will be to break out of what's become a routine. But we don't know everything. As you know, you have to figure this out on your own. Good luck.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

That's just it Stein, if I told her now, after 6yrs, I'd devestate her. I don't want to do that, especially if this confliction is going to be over and we're going to stay together.

Cajun, it's partially fear of losing my financial security, which is what it always was. The thing is, recently, I've been more worried about the effects it'll have on her and also I'm not sure if NOT being with her is what I want....

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Hey, Shego, do you like Panera?

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

HowDroll said:

Hey, Shego, do you like Panera?

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:slywink:

Oh, by the way, I'm loving these thread tags. Seriously. :thumb:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

Cajun, it's partially fear of losing my financial security, which is what it always was. The thing is, recently, I've been more worried about the effects it'll have on her and also I'm not sure if NOT being with her is what I want....

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...and they say Shego's heart grew 3 sizes that day...

No but seriously, that might be love, love that makes a relationship. Or it might just be that you've softened up to her a little over the years and appreciate what she's done for you, and you at least care enough to feel bad if you have to hurt her. Hell, look at Rob King. He had a big post recently about a girl who he had to blow off for both their own good. Even though he didn't want her back, it still hurt him to hurt her. No matter what your feelings turn out to be, it usually hurts to hurt someone you have a history with. No matter how much we joke about you here, we know you've got a heart.

---------- Post added at 11:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:11 PM ----------

Shegokigo said:

Oh, by the way, I'm loving these thread tags. Seriously. :thumb:

Click to expand...

I'm particularly enjoying lesbaw.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo;271335][quote=HowDroll said:

Hey, Shego, do you like Panera?

Click to expand...

:slywink:

Oh, by the way, I'm loving these thread tags. Seriously. :thumb:[/QUOTE]

Lesbaw!!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Cajungal said:

No matter how much we joke about you here, we know you've got a heart.

Click to expand...

Yeah well, I'm not liking this feeling at all. I MUCH preferred the way it was before. Would have made this decision cake.

Amorous Eyes said:

Are you hiding from your emotions?

Again, even if you would "decide to stay together" afterward you still did what you did and hid it from her. That is a terrible thing.

Click to expand...

You could very well be right, I'm very unsure what I'm feeling these days other than unease. What I do know, is if I told her, she wouldn't leave. She'd stay, be broken hearted and continue life here with me, miserable instead of the very happy and content that she is now. To me, it'd be cruel to change what she feels now on a day to day basis.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

That's just it Stein, if I told her now, after 6yrs, I'd devestate her.

Click to expand...

Keep in mind that most people have more strength and backbone than others give them credit for.

If you truly and fully open up to her, you may be quite surprised to find that it strengthens your relationship.

One of the reasons she is so clingy is likely to be that she can tell you're very distant, emotionally, from her. Opening up your heart will give her a sense of peace and greater trust in you and your relationship with her, and she may back off a little.

You don't have to start with the big things, and you can be diplomatic about it (rather than "I'm been using you for 6 years" try, "I don't feel we're getting as much out of this relationship as we could be."), but it's worth starting the conversation.

-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

If I recall correctly, Shego ol' girl, you've mentioned before that you've had doubts about your relationship - mainly that you didn't think it could be all that it could be, but it was a situation where you could, I think the term was "sit around and play video games".

I have no authority or experience to tell you what to do, friend, but I concur that some time by yourself will definitely be good for you. Enjoy it, have fun... and also see if it makes you look at your GF in a new light. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say... But most importantly of all, whether you decide on your return to call it quits or give it a shot: Be honest with her. Quadruple emphasis on that because there I have some experience; I could have saved a lot of heartbreak and sorrow if I had 'fessed up to the facts earlier. Trust me, the worst you can do is to carry on a pretense if you know it's not going to last. [/manbaww]

Here's a kick of good luck your way. And no matter happens, at least you have us to vent at or threaten with violence.

...

Wait, is that comforting? I'm not really sure.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Cajungal said:

No matter how much we joke about you here, we know you've got a heart.

Click to expand...

In a jar. On a shelf. Labeled Date, Victim, Method. Several, in fact.

-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

That's just it Stein, if I told her now, after 6yrs, I'd devestate her.

Click to expand...

The lesser of two evils shegs, do you tell her upfront you want to part ways or at least spend extended time apart

or do you cheat on her and her find out?

If she finds out, trust me, that will hurt more, way more.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

stienman;271357][quote=Cajungal said:

No matter how much we joke about you here, we know you've got a heart.

Click to expand...

In a jar. On a shelf. Labeled Date, Victim, Method. Several, in fact.

-Adam[/QUOTE]

I still have no idea how you got out of the basement. I assure you, you won't get that lucky twice.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

stienman;271357][quote=Cajungal said:

No matter how much we joke about you here, we know you've got a heart.

Click to expand...

In a jar. On a shelf. Labeled Date, Victim, Method. Several, in fact.

-Adam[/QUOTE]

"Abbie Normal?"

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo;271375][quote=stienman;271357][quote=Cajungal said:

No matter how much we joke about you here, we know you've got a heart.

Click to expand...

In a jar. On a shelf. Labeled Date, Victim, Method. Several, in fact.

-Adam[/QUOTE]

I still have no idea how you got out of the basement. I assure you, you won't get that lucky twice. [/QUOTE]

*hides the rope ladder*

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I found this thread when I researched the tag "when can I tap dat".

My opinion? Meh, does it really matter at this point, Shegs? You've been wanting this for some time and you have to do what feels right. This is a serious case of taking a step back and re-assessing the situation. Getting impulses about other lovers is normal but if you're constantly doing it and wondering how green the grass is on the other side of the fence, you're only lying to yourself.

Tit up and go check your options. Just make sure you do what's right, life's too short, ya know?

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

After thinking on this subject for most of the night, I have to change my opinion. I don't have time to type it until much later, but it's something that kept me up a little last night when I think about how much I hurt my ex.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm interested to hear what the outcome was Vytamindi. :uhhuh:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

drawn_inward;271344][quote=Shegokigo;271335][quote=HowDroll said:

Hey, Shego, do you like Panera?

Click to expand...

:slywink:

Oh, by the way, I'm loving these thread tags. Seriously. :thumb:[/quote]

Lesbaw!! [/QUOTE]
:smug:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Had a huge post typed out but it wasn't making any sense.

In a nutshell, I really thought about what I typed yesterday. Yes, you deserve happiness. Yes, you NEED to make some changes (I am so glad I did), but if it boils down to leaving on bad terms such as planned "pseudo-infidelity" if you will, you will not be happy with yourself and the outcome of it.

In my case, I thought I wanted to be free! I was engaged having never lived by myself, having none of MY furniture, having only been in ONE relationship. After we broke off the engagement, I knew it was only a matter of time until it was all over. We ended our relationship, and I automatically started talking more to my current boyfriend. I didn't want "strange," I just didn't want him anymore...

Things were GREAT! I moved into a nice apartment, got my own bills (the novelty has long worn off), bought my very own furniture and appliances... I was on my own! I needed that so bad! I will never regret having done this

But there is something that has been eating me up. Sure, we had problems (money, sexual, emotional), but he really did put up with my spoiledness. He's a great guy: responsible, well paid, clean, caring, but for some reason I wanted to "live" a bit before settling down so much.

I don't regret my decisions, I just regret that I treated him like crap during it. After we broke it off, he would call me once a day to try to coordinate giving our stuff back, dividing our bank account, talk to me, and I totally blew him off... this just eats at me.

I still love him. A lot. Not in any sexual or affectionate way, it's just hard letting go of someone that I met almost 10 years ago. I wish I could take all his hurt away...

Enough of my bawwwing, but what I want to say is that you might not immediately regret hurting her. It might take a few months to sink in (once you have your own place, get settled, etc.), but it will come back to haunt you. It's bad enough breaking off a long relationship whether you NEED to or not (I needed to, and change ALWAYS happens), but don't make it worse by being dishonest.

I'm sure I will need to clarify more of this as needed. I am brain dead right now... :Cry:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

There's enough baww in this thread so I'll keep my part to a minimum, but having been on the other end of a similar situation to Vytamindi, the sooner you can be honest and up front about your feelings with your other, the better it will go for everyone involved. Trust me, it hurts more when it comes out of nowhere that there's been some kind of infidelity.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

That's just it Vy, I'm usually "cold" to anyone in my life if it requires it. My past 2 GFs I left them with little issue. Anytime I'm reminded by them, I'm more greatful than anything. At first, I always said that if a better financial situation came around, I'd leave my current GF without batting an eyelash twice. Recently however, I'm actually highly concerned and torn about doing it, even if a better opportunity presented itself.

The problem here is, I have no idea WHY I feel this way about this woman. We have nothing in common (other than over-active sex drives), we never talk about anything of substance beyond "how was your day?", and I usually prefer when she's not home and I've got the place to myself. Yet still, the thought of NOT being with her is beginning to get harder and harder as time goes on. Still, I find myself constantly wanting to have "more" from someonelse.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Looks like some responses got lost.

What I said before:

To me, the question is why you are hesitant. Is it for your sake or her sake?

If hers: talk about things with her before doing anything drastic that you both will regret later.

If yours: Feelings or lifestyle? If feelings, talk about things. If lifestyle, it's never a sure thing, and sometimes you just have to jump into the blue ocean to find where it takes you.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

That's just it Vy, I'm usually \"cold\" to anyone in my life if it requires it. My past 2 GFs I left them with little issue. Anytime I'm reminded by them, I'm more greatful than anything. At first, I always said that if a better financial situation came around, I'd leave my current GF without batting an eyelash twice. Recently however, I'm actually highly concerned and torn about doing it, even if a better opportunity presented itself.

The problem here is, I have no idea WHY I feel this way about this woman. We have nothing in common (other than over-active sex drives), we never talk about anything of substance beyond \"how was your day?\", and I usually prefer when she's not home and I've got the place to myself. Yet still, the thought of NOT being with her is beginning to get harder and harder as time goes on. Still, I find myself constantly wanting to have \"more\" from someonelse.

Click to expand...

(I'll spare you the movie-musical version, so instead here is some Nat King Cole!)



But in all seriousness, it's because you've spent a good part of your life with her. It's always going to feel odd to leave someone you've spent so long with, but if you want to find something more, you ether need to get her to give you more or find someone who will. Those are really your only choices right now, short of staying unfulfilled for the rest of your life.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

When the time comes, shego, you know what you must do.



-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

That picture is hilarious.

The problem here is, I have no idea WHY I feel this way about this woman. We have nothing in common (other than over-active sex drives), we never talk about anything of substance beyond "how was your day?", and I usually prefer when she's not home and I've got the place to myself. Yet still, the thought of NOT being with her is beginning to get harder and harder as time goes on. Still, I find myself constantly wanting to have "more" from someonelse.

Click to expand...

Have you ever dropped the notion of a threesome to her Shegs? Maybe she'd be interested. It can be a very exhilarating experience if you haven't, you can really see if for you it's more than lust.. and I wouldn't mind being the meat in that sandwich.

/insert male comment (j/k)

Have a fun vacation!!!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I saw Shego a'comin'...

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

SeriousJay said:

Have you ever dropped the notion of a threesome to her Shegs? Maybe she'd be interested. It can be a very exhilarating experience if you haven't, you can really see if for you it's more than lust.. and I wouldn't mind being the meat in that sandwich.

Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure this is something they do fairly often, or at least have done more than once in the past.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

jeez, Ash, have some control, i can hear the faps from 6000 km away

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Math242 said:

jeez, Ash, have some control, i can hear the faps from 6000 km away

Click to expand...

She HAS mentioned it before on the board.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Well said, AmE.

Have fun on your trip! With your work schedule, you deserve a break! <3

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Everything I can say has already been said. I agree with AmE 100%.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Alright, as I said in a previous thread: I'm home and things are taking a turn. She wanted to end the relationship when I got back and I found myself fighting to keep it going. In the end we found out the issue she was having and have resolved to work on it and have been fine since.

Fast Forward to today/last night. I had a vivid dream (I don't often dream) where I confessed every single thing I wanted to tell her. She listened and told me that she really did love me for everything I said and wished I had said it all sooner and we might not have wasted so much time. We flew off to another country and just lived life day to day and happier than I ever thought happiness could feel like.

Sounds great right? One problem. "Her" in this dream isn't my GF. It's the girl that I talked about a few months ago. The "one I let get away/pushed away/chose my GF over for the security".

"I drove 4hrs to where she's currently living, to find out that she's single now. I confess all my feelings that I ever had, apologizing if I was "coming out of nowhere" and blinding her with all this heavy emotion without ever having said anything in the past few years. She replies that I should have said something years ago, because she's always felt the same way about me. We have the most powerfully emotional embrace I've ever felt in my life. I've never felt that way ever. Immediately we have the most emotional love making session I've ever felt in my life. (Now I've had amazing sex before, but this was something compeltely different, it "felt" like something that eveloped my entire being on every level, not just physical) Soon after we looked at each other and I said that the hardest part was to come. Which was to tell my current GF what was going to happen now. "She" actually agreed to go with me and do the confrontation together. After telling my GF, who took it hard but said she had known all along that we should have been together, "she" and I leave all our current responsibilities behind and travel overseas. There, we begin a life that has none of my previous "escape" vices and just living with each other in pure bliss day to day"

What the fuck? I hadn't thought of her in a damn long time, here I was thinking all is right now with my GF. We're finally on the track to finding real emotions and feelings for each other and I get side-swiped by this remurgence of "her"? This is bullshit. I left this morning in the worst possible mood, and now I'm in shitsville here at work. Completely blind-sided and lost as to what to do. rly:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You are scared of committing. Your brain is telling you this. It's perfectly normal.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

<armchair_psychologist_mode>

I'm going to go out on a limb here and go with a subconscious response to fear of actual emotional commitment to the current girlfriend. No big. I dreamt I was in a mall the other day. Doesn't mean I really want to shop at Hot Topic. Just a dream.

</armchair_psychologist_mode>

Stupid Turbo Ninja...

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Um... whip it out? Sorry, that's all I've got*.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Jake said:

Um... whip it out? Sorry, that's all I've got*.

Spoiler

*Yes, that's what I usually say after whipping it out. :tear:

Click to expand...

HAHAHA! You sir, win.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Hmmm, really?

Maybe. I did get burned really bad in my relationship before my current GF. My GF used to get into fights with me, that I had commitment issues but I always blew it off cause I just don't think I do.

I thought the dream was due to unresolved issues/emtions I had with "her", but the more I think about it, the more "fear of commitment" might actually be it. :

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

We're here for you, Shego! Pursue your happiness!!!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Um, which one?

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

The one you have in hand, not the imagined one you had a single dream about because of this situation.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Look at this from a different angle. You know intellectually that the grass is always greener and very seldom is other than in your head.

Right now you have an ACTUAL person who loves you and fills your basic needs. If you dump her there's NO TELLING what will happen. What if you go there and she shoots you down? What then?

I'm not telling you what to do, but when you start looking at these things emotionally instead of logically you start to get into trouble.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Commitment is coming to the realization that the relationship is worth more to you than the things you have to give up to maintain the relationship.

Once you've come to that realization, you act on it by letting those things go that impede the relationship.

This doesn't mean throwing your life away at all - it means grabbing onto a better life by choosing between two good but mutually exclusive things.

Commitment issues, for some people, is the anticipation of regret. They avoid making decisions because they fear the regret they may feel in the future because they close doors to paths that are interesting, but unexplored.

In addition to letting go of those things you've decided are less important, you also have to let go of the regret in the past, and the anticipated future regret. Learn from your mistakes, but don't flounder in them.

-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

SeraRelm said:

The one you have in hand, not the imagined one you had a single dream about because of this situation.

Click to expand...

老婆 是 别人 的 靓

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I have no idea what you posted, Tin. It's just invalid characters on my screen.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Current GF = Stability, Security, Love, Strong Partnership Relationship of Give and Take, Long History of Getting Through Hard Times.

"Her" = Someone I connect with on every single level.

I know the "smart" decision. I know who's "right" for me. I really think if I had just told "her" how I felt and been shot down in the first place, I wouldn't have her on this imaginary pedestal that haunts me every so often. This isn't the first dream I have, it's just been a while since I have.

Honestly though? I'm really feeling that maybe I had a wall up towards my GF I never realized before. So what if she doesn't get into games like me? So what if she prefers girly flicks and hip hop? I mean, if I need her to be somewhere. She's there. If I need her to do something, she does it. And not because I command her to, but because she wants to and recently.... I find that I want to do those things for her too.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You're gonna make me tear up...

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Why?

Part of me thinks the reason I fought so hard to keep her during the fight was because maybe I'm not ready to be alone and look for someone that will give me the things I think I need. I'm not 100% convinced of what's happening right now, but I know things feel different than they ever did after a big fight....

Oh and "shegospear in love"? :thumb:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Awwwwww!!!!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You're confusing the living daylights out of my Vyta.... :bush:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shegokigo said:

...my Vyta.... :bush:

Click to expand...

Freudian slip?

hwell:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

SeraRelm said:

I have no idea what you posted, Tin. It's just invalid characters on my screen.

Click to expand...

basically "your neighbor's wife looks prettier than your own."

Another way to say the "grass is always greener".

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Ah, well whatever character set you used, I got the blocks with number's in them characters.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Hey, I can be hers! I'm not allergic to iron shackles nor do I eat much. I will keep crying to a minimum and you will never hear me from the basement!

But what I'm trying to clear up is how happy I am while reading how you're realizing that you could be in love, are making sacrifices, trying to make it work! It takes a lot of work and maturity to do this, and not many people are willing to put in that effort!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

SeraRelm said:

Ah, well whatever character set you used, I got the blocks with number's in them characters.

Click to expand...

probably unicode..i just cut and pasted them.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

It's not worth it, imho

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Tinwhistler;279056][quote=SeraRelm said:

Ah, well whatever character set you used, I got the blocks with number's in them characters.

Click to expand...

probably unicode..i just cut and pasted them.[/QUOTE]
Weird, my work computer doesn't render them, but my laptop appears to.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

stienman said:

Commitment issues, for some people, is the anticipation of regret. They avoid making decisions because they fear the regret they may feel in the future because they close doors to paths that are interesting, but unexplored.
-Adam

Click to expand...

Well said, sir. I know quite a bit about "the anticipation of regret."

Shego I may be speaking out of my ass here, but maybe you don't feel connected to your SO b/c you haven't put your heart out there for her. Chip away some of the stone that you've built up to protect yourself. Let yourself love her and let yourself be loved.

I say this, b/c until my current gf, I haven't been able to love. I didn't 'need' anyone or anything. I had to open up my heart and take a step in faith that she wouldn't destroy me. It was the best decision I have ever made.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Never been good with relationship advice, but from my reading you still have some deep issues with your current GF (you don't really connect with her on a higher level, you are only with her for various security reasons).

While the other woman may not be as idea as you are thinking she is, she may be a step in the right direction.

Also,

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Well I got hit by a (emotional) truck last night/today.

During a very long conversation with my GF last night, I confessed about "her". I told her that I had had feelings for "her" and at one point I questioned who I wanted to be with. I told her that even though I choose my GF, I still thought of "her" and what could have been.

To my surprise, my GF was relieved by this information, saying that it made her feel more secure with me, knowning that I could have persued someone "more compatible" with me but choose my GF instead. It really turned the night around and she's starting to come back around to me.

Fast forward to this afternoon (maybe 45mins ago), I'm having lunch with my GF and she brings "her" up. I immediately tell her not to, cause it's a subject I'm not "over" and would rather not hear about it. She replies with "Ok, just this one thing though. She's getting married!" (I guess she thought I'd be happy for her or something) instead it felt like I got punched in the face with a brick.

Strange part is, in a weird way, it's comforting to know and making it easier to let "her" go. As the hours go by, I find myself more and more relieved by the news and more and more sure about my decision all along to choose my GF.

It's been a strange and difficult afternoon, to say the least.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Shegokigo said:

Well I got hit by a (emotional) truck last night/today.

During a very long conversation with my GF last night, I confessed about "her". I told her that I had had feelings for "her" and at one point I questioned who I wanted to be with. I told her that even though I choose my GF, I still thought of "her" and what could have been.

To my surprise, my GF was relieved by this information, saying that it made her feel more secure with me, knowning that I could have persued someone "more compatible" with me but choose my GF instead. It really turned the night around and she's starting to come back around to me.

Fast forward to this afternoon (maybe 45mins ago), I'm having lunch with my GF and she brings "her" up. I immediately tell her not to, cause it's a subject I'm not "over" and would rather not hear about it. She replies with "Ok, just this one thing though. She's getting married!" (I guess she thought I'd be happy for her or something) instead it felt like I got punched in the face with a brick.

Strange part is, in a weird way, it's comforting to know and making it easier to let "her" go. As the hours go by, I find myself more and more relieved by the news and more and more sure about my decision all along to choose my GF.

It's been a strange and difficult afternoon, to say the least.

Click to expand...

Based on this I am very, very glad you decided to be honest and didn't make that leap without looking you had been thinking of making.

Congrats again!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Shegokigo said:

Well I got hit by a (emotional) truck last night/today.

During a very long conversation with my GF last night, I confessed about "her". I told her that I had had feelings for "her" and at one point I questioned who I wanted to be with. I told her that even though I choose my GF, I still thought of "her" and what could have been.

To my surprise, my GF was relieved by this information, saying that it made her feel more secure with me, knowning that I could have persued someone "more compatible" with me but choose my GF instead. It really turned the night around and she's starting to come back around to me.

Fast forward to this afternoon (maybe 45mins ago), I'm having lunch with my GF and she brings "her" up. I immediately tell her not to, cause it's a subject I'm not "over" and would rather not hear about it. She replies with "Ok, just this one thing though. She's getting married!" (I guess she thought I'd be happy for her or something) instead it felt like I got punched in the face with a brick.

Strange part is, in a weird way, it's comforting to know and making it easier to let "her" go. As the hours go by, I find myself more and more relieved by the news and more and more sure about my decision all along to choose my GF.

It's been a strange and difficult afternoon, to say the least.

Click to expand...

I have no idea why, but I felt a big, slow grin creeping over my face as I read this.

(administers hugs to Shego, making sure to check for knives first and have medkit on standby).

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Shegokigo said:

Well I got hit by a (emotional) truck last night/today.

During a very long conversation with my GF last night, I confessed about "her". I told her that I had had feelings for "her" and at one point I questioned who I wanted to be with. I told her that even though I choose my GF, I still thought of "her" and what could have been.

To my surprise, my GF was relieved by this information, saying that it made her feel more secure with me, knowning that I could have persued someone "more compatible" with me but choose my GF instead. It really turned the night around and she's starting to come back around to me.

Fast forward to this afternoon (maybe 45mins ago), I'm having lunch with my GF and she brings "her" up. I immediately tell her not to, cause it's a subject I'm not "over" and would rather not hear about it. She replies with "Ok, just this one thing though. She's getting married!" (I guess she thought I'd be happy for her or something) instead it felt like I got punched in the face with a brick.

Strange part is, in a weird way, it's comforting to know and making it easier to let "her" go. As the hours go by, I find myself more and more relieved by the news and more and more sure about my decision all along to choose my GF.

It's been a strange and difficult afternoon, to say the least.

Click to expand...

Wow. Shego is all "grown up" I'm glad you are finding your inner self and love. You know, there are times I think about my past g/f and I talk to my wife about it. The grass will always seem greener on the other side, but reality is that it might just be dirt with green shiny paint on it.

I am glad things are working out and you two are still together.

P.S. I think by letting your guard down, your emotion toward your current g/f is coming out and since it is a different feeling that your other relationship, you are not sure what to do with it, but I'm glad you went the honesty route.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

"And on that day, Shegokigo's heart grew three sizes."

*distracts Shego with a BDSM picture of Wanda Firebaugh and ambush hugs*

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Yeah, count me in as one of those who's oddly (even more so for my less-than-regular-poster-status) warmed comforted by how well things have been going for you Shego.

I guess, for me, it's because it seems like very familiar territory, though possibly on a much grander scale, and, at the end of the day, it's just nice to see people happy and comfortable with each other (and you WILL be happy, damnit, like it or not).

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

According to this thread, my heart has apparantely increased so many times that it should technically weigh around 980lbs.

Impure Vyxen said:

Thank you.

For using your brain.
For doing the right thing.

Click to expand...

It's interesting, I actually thought about your words/advice/warning at one point in the conversation.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Good to see you finally made a concrete choice.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Huzzah!

-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Y'know Shegs, whenever I saw you talk about your situation with your GF I always thought "man, she's just staying there for all the wrong reasons, this is not gonna end well..." with that feeling of dread you feel for people you care for but can't really do anything about.

I am seriously thrilled to be so surprised by how things turned out... I didn't see this coming, but it looks like you're not only now with her for all the right reasons, but you're beginning to melt that exterior of yours and actually care. Now I feel this is going to go well, and I'm really, truly, sincerely happy to hear it.

Buena suerte, mujer, te la mereces.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

/british
Your Girlfriends a MAN, Baby!
/no british

Seriously, glad it's going well for ya!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

*high fives Shego*

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

nice

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Shegokigo said:

According to this thread, my heart has apparantely increased so many times that it should technically weigh around 980lbs.

Impure Vyxen said:

Thank you.

For using your brain.
For doing the right thing.

Click to expand...

It's interesting, I actually thought about your words/advice/warning at one point in the conversation.

Click to expand...

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

I can only repeat what the Mexican said. Without the Spanish bit, as i have no idea what that means :-P

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

Calleja said:

Y'know Shegs, whenever I saw you talk about your situation with your GF I always thought "man, she's just staying there for all the wrong reasons, this is not gonna end well..." with that feeling of dread you feel for people you care for but can't really do anything about.

I am seriously thrilled to be so surprised by how things turned out... I didn't see this coming, but it looks like you're not only now with her for all the right reasons, but you're beginning to melt that exterior of yours and actually care. Now I feel this is going to go well, and I'm really, truly, sincerely happy to hear it.

Click to expand...

Really, coz Shego bullshitting herself about the whole thing seemed like the logical alternative to it not ending well... but then again i always expect people to lie to themselves... keeps me sane (faint hope that if peopel where not stuff would be better etc.)

Calleja said:

Buena suerte, mujer, te la mereces.

Click to expand...

And you base that on what?! :yield:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Updated w/ Shocking Revelation 10/30/09)

To keep this concentrated in one thread, I'll keep updates going here:

So last night added to a new twist on my dreams:

My GF, "her", myself, and 3 strangers are in a van, driving to the airport to go to Paris (or somewhere in Europe, I'm not sure). My GF insists that I spend the entire drive with "her" to make sure "she" isn't what I really want.

So my GF sits in the backseat, I sit in the middle seat with "her" and the drive goes. "She" puts her head on my shoulder and I begin feeling all those "wonderous" feelings of being "finally with her". I look toward the backseat and my GF is looking very hurt but trying to keep a stiff upper lip. The drive goes on and "we" get more and more comfortable but I keep looking at the backseat, hoping for I don't know what kind of reaction.

We stop at a store (I think) but my GF go across the road and waits with a friend while I get off at the store with "her". I tell "her" to go inside and I walk across the street to see how my GF is doing but the dream fast forwards to the airport.

At the airport, I'm confronting "her" about everything that's going on and "she" tells me that things might not work out if I choose "her", and I agree but still fight it a bit. Right as soon as the time is winding down to choose the flight, I decide to go with my GF and say goodbye to "her". I run through the empty airport and try and make it to my GF's flight, only to find the gate closed and the attendant says I didn't make it in time. I start pleading and talking to all the attendants when they finally let me on. As I'm about to enter the plane, I wake up.

--------------

Now, I KNOW that dream must be laced with all kinds of symbolism, but I'm terrible at "reading" them. Also a very important note (I think so anyway) is that "she" was not "she" at least not visually. Her face wasn't "her". The first time (in the car) it was someone I didn't recognize yet it was still supposed to be "her". Then at the airport her face was that of an old friend, but still supposed to be "her".

Wth? :bush:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I'd read this dream as fear of losing your gf? I haven't read this thread in a while, so I may be saying a completley idiotic thing, but That's the first impression I get from this dream... and I'm told I'm generally good interpreting them!

I'll have a quick read of the thread and I'll come back at you.

EDIT: I see two possible interpretations:

Either your brain is processing your past trains of thought, kind of like a dramatization of past events, in wich you approached "her" but finally found you prefer your GF over her but feared losing her (and almost did / felt like you almost did)

or

You still fear your current uncertainty can make you lose your GF, but your final decision is to be with your GF and not "Her", even if you have to wrestle your own thoughts for a while.

I think the fact that "her" is not the real "her" but just a strange amalgam is a good clue to thinking that your dream is more about dciding you want to pursue your relationship with your GF (insted of looking elsewhere, and not specifically in "her") than a dream about both of them specifically.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I can definitely see that as a possibility. Ever since she almost left, it's sort of like the tables in the relationship have turned and I've become more insecure where she's fallen into a more confident role.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I updated my thoughts (in an Edited post, itr doesn't show up as a new answer) but I basically elaborate on what I have already said.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

This is the kind of crap we don't need. Stay out of the thread if you don't like it or else avoid the personal sniping. -Espy

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Simple, don't read/visit the thread.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shego: remember that you have experience a lot of emotional changes and resolution recently. Your brain has a lot of that information fresh in your mind, your brain is trying to "organize" or "sort it out" so maybe you can understand it. (it is natural) dreams are usually bits and pieces of memory being "organize" and your brain is trying to make sense of it all.

I believe that you truly love your long time girlfriend and your brain is trying to tell you that it wouldn't have work out even if you "think" it might. the recent information about "her" getting married might push your brain to really move on from "her" and really concentrate on what really matter to you and your heart which is your GF.

I'm glad she is sticking with you and working this out (which I'm glad). I think the airport might be a way of your brain trying to send "her" off and maybe show what could happen if you lose your gf. you do have feelings for her (and it seem to show a lot more lately). It is a change from your normal self and thus you are trying to sort it all and some may not make sense since it is a new sensation that you haven't experience in a while (at least what we have been told here )

At least that is how I interpret it.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shannow said:

Oh goodie, now we get to knwo your dreams and the insecurities caused by them.


Isnt livejournal made for this shit?

Click to expand...

I hate being devil's advocate, but it's really only one thread

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Charlie Dont Surf;289678][quote=Shannow said:

Oh goodie, now we get to knwo your dreams and the insecurities caused by them.


Isnt livejournal made for this shit?

Click to expand...

I hate being devil's advocate, but it's really only one thread[/quote]

hahahahahahahaha, oh, I know.

But...by saying devil's advocate, you are saying...you agree with me!!!!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Seeing Shannow's recent behavior in a new light, I'm starting to understand what Dave meant now.

Thank you Chibi and Silver Jelly though, that's the basic premise I got from them too, was just wondering what other opinions might have been.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shannow, because the new rules are not in place you get that one for free. But thanks for proving my point.

---------- Post added at 10:57 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:54 AM ----------

Unless Espy gets there before me.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Man, when I read this thread, all I can hear is Daft Punk's Better, Faster, Stronger playing in my head. It feels so good.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Frankie said:

Man, when I read this thread, all I can hear is Daft Punk's Better, Faster, Stronger playing in my head. It feels so good.

Click to expand...

Really? I think Digital Love is much more appropriate now that dreams have come into it.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

It seems like that faceless, unknown "her" is just the ideal of some perfect relationship, but you're more interested in something real, IE: your current GF.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Ya know what, fuck it, put the fucking ban on, then. And delete my last couple posts in here.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

AshburnerX;289722][quote=Frankie said:

Man, when I read this thread, all I can hear is Daft Punk's Better, Faster, Stronger playing in my head. It feels so good.

Click to expand...

Really? I think Digital Love is much more appropriate now that dreams have come into it.[/QUOTE]

Digital Love is easily one of my favorite songs of that DVD. :thumb:

SeraRelm said:

It seems like that faceless, unknown "her" is just the ideal of some perfect relationship, but you're more interested in something real, IE: your current GF.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I was a bit thrown by "her" face not being "her" through the whole thing.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

The dream definitely seems like your subconscious moving away from "her" and finding the girlfriend more important. Although, I also don't put much stock in dream reading, as they could just be pretty random.

Still... can we give a fake name to "her?" All these pronouns are starting to get confusing. I call forth a vote that "she" will now be known as Roxanne.

*cue sting video*

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Roxanne's cool, I had a hot female friend named Roxanne.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Her face not being her face is something I would attribute to a nagging guilt that you may not know this person as well as might want to/thought you did.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

That's pretty accurate Gusto, I knew her for about a year, about 5-6hrs a day give or take. Always wanted to know her on an intimate level (emotionally/mentally, as well as the obvious physical)

Roxxy will do fine for "her" I guess. Though giving her a name at this point may be pointless. (I'm hoping)

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

This is just my take on it.

If you kept looking to your girlfriend and reading her sadness in this dream while you were trying in futility to connect with a girl somewhat resembling your Alejandra, I would take that to mean that you still have feelings for her somewhere but are currently more concerned with your current girlfriend. You don't want to hurt her or lose her, but can't let go of those feelings. You don't like living with regret, not knowing what could have been.

This is fairly normal, and I hope it all works out for you.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shannow said:

Ya know what, fuck it, put the fucking ban on, then. And delete my last couple posts in here.

Click to expand...

good gravy man. maybe you need your own thread to tell how you feel everyone has a different method of doing things and I like it when Shego is showing her other self. Heck, I'm happy she is willing to share this level of personal stuff to people here. plus she have been keeping it to a single thread and label it properly

Shego: We all have our "ideal relationship" but sometimes that ideal may not be attainable or even "impossible" since it is created in our head. You are being bombarded with tons of information, feelings, and situation and trying to make sense of it all and possible making a new ideal relationship or at least a real ideal relationship.

From what you post so far, in your dreams you can see your g/f face and "her" not so clear now. I think this can be a "sign" of some sort that you acknowledge your gf in your world and accepts her while "her" or your "ideal person" is not really there anymore. It could be a combination of stuff in your past you might think it is ideal (at least I hope I'm making sense)

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over "Roxxy", and yes I felt a long standing guilt of not telling my GF about how I had felt about Roxxy. For a long while I thought I was simply with my GF because of the convience of it, but when I almost lost her it was a shock to my system in a way I didn't expect.

With all that's happened recently I find myself more and more drawn to my GF as I hadn't been before, yet I still have Roxxy in the back of my mind as "what could have been".

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I suggest a cage match. In oil... Hot oil...

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Hey I was right :dance:

We've all had people like that Sheegs, try not to let it bring you down. Sounds like you've got a good thing going with your girlfriend, especially now that you're being more open with your feelings.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shegokigo said:

I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over "Roxxy", and yes I felt a long standing guilt of not telling my GF about how I had felt about Roxxy. For a long while I thought I was simply with my GF because of the convience of it, but when I almost lost her it was a shock to my system in a way I didn't expect.

With all that's happened recently I find myself more and more drawn to my GF as I hadn't been before, yet I still have Roxxy in the back of my mind as "what could have been".

Click to expand...

That's life. It matters more what you choose to do with it than what you considered doing. I'm very happy in my relationship with my wife, but I still sometimes think about someone from my past.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Hrmm... could it be that once you found out that "She" was getting married, "She" wasn't the same "Her" anymore, and that's why she didn't look quite the same?

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Thanks to alot of motivation I've gotten recently I was able to finally tell my GF about how I had always felt about Roxxy, and chosen my GF over her. That resolved ALOT of my issues that I had piled away.

All that's left now "issue wise" is that I never told Roxxy directly how I felt, and actually treated her horribly to push her away when I was having trouble deciding what I wanted to do with my relationship at the time.

Of course, that may be one issue better left unresolved....

Chaz: Between my GF and Roxxy? :drool: :uhhuh:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I'd also suggest that the Roxxy you're so attracted to isn't the real Roxxy, which could have been the aforementioned symbolic lack of face in your dream. You said you only knew her for a year, and while it's certainly possible to get to know a lot of a person in that time, it's not enough to get to know all.

You know your GF much better than you know Roxy. In your mind, your GF is a real person, complete with faults and things that will annoy you, as well as things that you will like. Roxy isn't, so all you have is the fantasy, and fantasy will always be attractive.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Nostalgia has a way of playing tricks on us, placing people and things on pedestals they don't really belong.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

SeraRelm said:

Nostalgia has a way of playing tricks on us, placing people and things on pedestals they don't really belong.

Click to expand...

This, a bajillion times this.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Gusto;289827][quote=SeraRelm said:

Nostalgia has a way of playing tricks on us, placing people and things on pedestals they don't really belong.

Click to expand...

This, a bajillion times this.[/QUOTE]

And a bajillion more.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Nostalgia or not, I was completely enveloped in her when she was in my life...

Again, I'm not trying to make this out to be a "relapse", but she really was an amazing creature that I could easily have seen myself with on a permanent basis.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

DarkAudit;289830][quote=Gusto;289827][quote=SeraRelm said:

Nostalgia has a way of playing tricks on us, placing people and things on pedestals they don't really belong.

Click to expand...

This, a bajillion times this.[/QUOTE]

And a bajillion more.[/QUOTE]

QF a bajillion T

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I understand that, Shego, but this dream seems to be implying that the ideal was the more appealing aspect, and you're either A: afraid to take that step, seeking security in what you know you have or B: more interested in what you know you have and love(?). From all I've read here, I'm more likely to believe the latter.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Yeah it seems like you're really happy with what you have now, but have this other girl in the back of your mind as a "what if" scenario.

I have a few of those myself. Most people do. Again, fairly normal.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Well I still have the lingering "want" to be with someone who's more compatible to my tastes, whether it be Roxxy or someonelse and the fact that my GF and I just can't seem to connect on most levels is a constant poke at my being sure that she's the one for "good".

At the same time there are the feelings I've been getting that are stronger and stronger since the conversation with my GF.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Sheg, I sincerely apoligize for my mean-spirited comments. Please strike them from the record. Mods, if you would, please delete them, as they do not belong here.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Would you like to hang out with a copy of yourself all the time? Being with someone who has a few differing interests seems far more preferable to me.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I suggest deep dickings all around. That will sort it all out.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Jake said:

I suggest deep dickings all around. That will sort it all out.

Click to expand...

You first, turn around and bend over.

SeraRelm said:

Would you like to hang out with a copy of yourself all the time? Being with someone who has a few differing interests seems far more preferable to me.

Click to expand...

Maybe not a copy, but at least 2/20 things in common would be nice instead of exact opposites on every spectrum.

Shannow: It's nothing out of your usual style of posting, it was just out of place here. I tend to take most of your direct attacks and dust them off, but this thread really is reaching out to those here who give advice that I've taken to heart on more than on occassion, even though most would say "Lol, advice from people online?" I hold alot of people here closer than most anyone I know "out there".

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I understand that, and hence why I apoligized. I am sorry.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

well. I don't think you would need to "resolve" with "her" per se. She is getting married and you don't want to confuse her current relationship. (at least that is my personal advice)

I always though back on my past gf on "what if" we worked out, what if I try a little harder? and such but in the end, I'm very happy with my wife and resolve that if I did anything differently in the past, I wouldn't be where I am now in the present.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shegokigo;289928][quote=Jake said:

I suggest deep dickings all around. That will sort it all out.

Click to expand...

You first, turn around and bend over.[/QUOTE]
Don't ever let it be said that I'm not willing to take one for the team.

You may proceed.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Chibibar said:

well. I don't think you would need to "resolve" with "her" per se. She is getting married and you don't want to confuse her current relationship. (at least that is my personal advice)

I always though back on my past gf on "what if" we worked out, what if I try a little harder? and such but in the end, I'm very happy with my wife and resolve that if I did anything differently in the past, I wouldn't be where I am now in the present.

Click to expand...

The problem was, for the longest time I wasn't happy with my GF, even now as my feelings are becoming more apparant, I'm not able to pinpoint exact reasons WHY I feel them toward her to begin with.

Jake;289939][quote=Shegokigo;289928][quote=Jake said:

I suggest deep dickings all around. That will sort it all out.

Click to expand...

You first, turn around and bend over.[/QUOTE]
Don't ever let it be said that I'm not willing to take one for the team.

You may proceed.[/QUOTE]

You are a braver soul than me, I'd have just left you sore and raw, then about my merry way. Kudos sir!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shegokigo said:

Well I still have the lingering "want" to be with someone who's more compatible to my tastes, whether it be Roxxy or someonelse and the fact that my GF and I just can't seem to connect on most levels is a constant poke at my being sure that she's the one for "good".

At the same time there are the feelings I've been getting that are stronger and stronger since the conversation with my GF.

Click to expand...

Maybe what you need are friends that you can hang out with who share your interests. I remember you saying earlier in the thread that you & your GF don't spend much time apart. Having friends, other than online, that share your interests can be fulfilling. My husband and I share some interests, but we also have some thing that we feel opposite about. I send him off with his friends from work to play poker or see movies I don't care about. I go hang out in a park with moms from my son's playgroup. It's good to have contact with people besides your significant other who enjoy similar things. It gives you something you can share together in conversation and learn more about each other, too.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Wildsoul;289995][quote=Shegokigo said:

Well I still have the lingering "want" to be with someone who's more compatible to my tastes, whether it be Roxxy or someonelse and the fact that my GF and I just can't seem to connect on most levels is a constant poke at my being sure that she's the one for "good".

At the same time there are the feelings I've been getting that are stronger and stronger since the conversation with my GF.

Click to expand...

Maybe what you need are friends that you can hang out with who share your interests. I remember you saying earlier in the thread that you & your GF don't spend much time apart. Having friends, other than online, that share your interests can be fulfilling. My husband and I share some interests, but we also have some thing that we feel opposite about. I send him off with his friends from work to play poker or see movies I don't care about. I go hang out in a park with moms from my son's playgroup. It's good to have contact with people besides your significant other who enjoy similar things. It gives you something you can share together in conversation and learn more about each other, too.[/QUOTE]

This is probably very applicable. You may have very different tastes, and yet still be very in love and happy.

However, you can't expect your most important relationship to fulfill all your needs.

While you obviously have good friends here, there's no replacement for face-to-face friends that take you away from your computer, your GF, and fulfill social needs that can't be adequately filled by us or your GF.

Further, though it may seem counter-intuitive, having strong friendships may serve to strengthen your relationship with your GF. One of the consequences of spending 100% time together is that you are constantly both acutely aware that there are some needs going unfulfilled, and that you aren't able to completely meet each other's needs.

You may recognize that logically it doesn't mean something's wrong with you, her, or the relationship, but it's still very draining emotionally.

But if you get with friends once in awhile, then you'll have more of your needs met, and you'll spend less time worrying when your with her, and more time enjoying your time with her.

-Adam

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Wildsoul said:

Maybe what you need are friends that you can hang out with who share your interests. I remember you saying earlier in the thread that you & your GF don't spend much time apart. Having friends, other than online, that share your interests can be fulfilling. My husband and I share some interests, but we also have some thing that we feel opposite about. I send him off with his friends from work to play poker or see movies I don't care about. I go hang out in a park with moms from my son's playgroup. It's good to have contact with people besides your significant other who enjoy similar things. It gives you something you can share together in conversation and learn more about each other, too.

Click to expand...

Well that may be from the fact that I have no friends IRL to speak of, other than my brother 4hrs away. I do see the need for friends, but I tend not to get involved with (socially) people from work. I also don't have many local events here to make friends of similar interest from (no gaming/anime events for 4hrs in any direction) so until I move to a bigger city (2 more years) I don't see that happening.

Another thing is, I always had the thought in my head to get together with someone who was as close a friend as they were a lover, instead I'm with someone who's a fantastic partner, and terrible friend (interests wise).

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Shegokigo;290015][quote=Wildsoul said:

Maybe what you need are friends that you can hang out with who share your interests. I remember you saying earlier in the thread that you & your GF don't spend much time apart. Having friends, other than online, that share your interests can be fulfilling. My husband and I share some interests, but we also have some thing that we feel opposite about. I send him off with his friends from work to play poker or see movies I don't care about. I go hang out in a park with moms from my son's playgroup. It's good to have contact with people besides your significant other who enjoy similar things. It gives you something you can share together in conversation and learn more about each other, too.

Click to expand...

Well that may be from the fact that I have no friends IRL to speak of, other than my brother 4hrs away. I do see the need for friends, but I tend not to get involved with (socially) people from work. I also don't have many local events here to make friends of similar interest from (no gaming/anime events for 4hrs in any direction) so until I move to a bigger city (2 more years) I don't see that happening.

Another thing is, I always had the thought in my head to get together with someone who was as close a friend as they were a lover, instead I'm with someone who's a fantastic partner, and terrible friend (interests wise).[/QUOTE]

personally I don't think that is a "bad" thing per se Shego. If you have different interest then you could have "alone" time while having fun with those interest and may occasionally get her to come to if she might be interested (like you said she do come with you) and vice versa, but it does allow some separate time from each other once in a while.

Also there might be more "interest" since your perspective of her has change. You be surprise the mind can do terrible tricks on you. You told us in the past you are just living with her for "convenience" so you may mentally "block of possible interest" outside of physical stuff. It is possible, but now you see her in a new light, you may have some common that you are not blocking or overlooking.

but back on original thought, it is not totally bad not to have all same interest. I'm sure both of you have something of same interest. Heck, now is a good time to explore new interest together

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

I agree with Chibi that this could be a great opportunity for you and your GF to explore some new interests. Plus, I always find compromise to be a good thing when it comes to differing tastes. My husband loves zombie everything. Me - not so much. But I am willing to read a book like World War Z to give me some insight into his interest. And I'm glad I did because I really enjoyed it. There's nothing wrong with broadening your horizons either.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

You know, you just sparked something in my memory Wildsoul.

She's read every manga/comic novel I've left in the bathroom. Including my Dragonball collections...

The only problem is, when I've tried to get her to watch some of the series or have any kind of lengthy conversation with her about any of it, it mostly goes in one ear and out the other.

There might be something there though, I mean she DID buy "Lost Girls" by Alan Moore in Hardback recently now that I think about it....

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Hey, that's something!

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

She picked up Alan Moore. MARRY HER.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

She also read my Killing Joke book while it was there. The Lost Girls thing was something *I* wasn't even aware of :bush:

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Hey, I know I'm new here.... But after reading through all of this?

Girlfriends an emotionally manipulative person. She didn't bring up "her" getting married so that you'd feel better, she's bringing it up so that you'll forget about her. It was a calculated move on her part. I mean, think about it. Your girlfriend actually found out information about "Her" and kept it current enough that she knew when she was getting married, then told you so.... Why? She really honestly believe you could be happy for "her?" Co-dependent and manipulative my friend.

What you feel as "relief" is really just "Sameness." Now you're back to the status quo after taking a little bit of a risk, and you're... Comfortable again. And if comfortable is fine with you, by all means lets pour a cup and pass it around. But don't kid yourself about what's going on here.

Romance is a game of chess, and your castling maneuver just got you owned by the queen.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

If you want interesting chess moves, apparantly when I thought the two of them stopped speaking years ago, I find out that they've remained friends this whole time, even though my GF thought I hated "her", says she just didn't tell me because she thought I hated "her" so much that I'd be upset they still spoke.

As for "manipulative", my GF is far from it, it's more likely she really didn't think I'd be bothered by that info. I am glad you decided to post your opinion in here though, new or old opinions are welcome.

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (New Update 11/04/09)

Drama Continues!

Yesterday was yet another fight, one that has sprouted up a few times since the incident from my return from my brother's. She's been putting me so down her priority list and treating me very differently than she did before. She never seems to have patience with me or the things I want to show her (Didn't even want to bother getting out of bed to watch a movie trailer on my computer) my gaming seems to really be bothering her right now (got really pissy with me when she came home and I had Saints Row 2 on the TV) and lastsly there was no sexual activity for a long while (which is strange since our relatinoship has been mostly a sexual one). To make matters more interesting, she's been going out with her friends, to the clubs, every weekend instead of once/twice a month.

Now, her partying doesn't bother me, never has. Thing is, when we argue, she says that "Maybe you're just getting tired of the way I am" which of course, isn't the issue at all, as I told her. It's the way she treats me vs how she treats others. EX: She goes to school all day, works in the afternoon and comes home late. I greet her at the door, we eat and she immediately plops on the bed. She will proclaim she has no energy to do anything (play a game with me, sit at the computer with me, go out to get a bite to eat etc). Yet the very same situation (work+school) and it's a party night? She has no trouble dancing/drinking/socializing till 3am. *sigh*

So I brought this up in our last argument and she begins crying. She says she has no idea why things changed and she is becoming aware of how she's acting and is sorry. I even brought up the old "moving this relationship forward" thing she used to against me all the time and she couldn't even defend her actions against that.

The whole argument started up because I had called her earlier in the afternoon asking if she wanted me to ditch work so we coud spend the rest of the afternoon/night together doing whatever she wanted and she got very upset and responded with "You knew I already made plans with my friends tonight and we had agreed that Saturday would be the day we spend together". That of course was the last straw for me (of her actions putting me last) and it ended with her crying and apologizing.

Fast forward to last night. She still went out with her friends (I eventually just told her to) and before she left, we did get extremely physical (her initiation, not mine). I thought all was well and good, but she shows up at 4am. All the clubs here close at 2am. My mind goes a million places, all bad. To make matters worse, her reason is the "oldest lie in the book" that women use: "I went to my friend's house, cause her BF is cheating on her and she didn't want me to leave".

My stomach did a backflip. Now, granted, there are a few things that lend weight to that reason.
#1 I actually DO know this friend personally and she IS going through some heavy emotional rollercoasters because of her BF.
#2 There's really no reason to cheat in this relationship (sexually anyway) because anytime there's someone she finds sexually attractive, we have a 3 way.
#3 She's really got a bad history with cheating and has trouble even listening to people cheat, much less being capable of doing it herself.

So here I'm sitting, at work, trying to think of what we're going to do for her B-day today and I'm upset that part of my mind can't get off the "reason" she gave me for getting home late last night. Ugh, that was a long post.

Shego: I think you might be reading too much into it (but that could be just me. I only have one side of the story)

I am sure she will tell you if there was something else.

(switching subject) have you thought about going clubbing with her? she seems to enjoy that a lot. It could be a release just to go out and dance (it is for me)

Chibibar said:

Shego: I think you might be reading too much into it (but that could be just me. I only have one side of the story)

I am sure she will tell you if there was something else.

(switching subject) have you thought about going clubbing with her? she seems to enjoy that a lot. It could be a release just to go out and dance (it is for me)

Click to expand...

I'm a nerdy indoors kind of guy, but I also love me some (drunken) clubbing sometimes.

<Drunken ramblings from a lurker>
Seems to me you broke down the wall you put up between you and are now experiencing a rare thing called feelings. You dont want to lose her anymore, you actually care. Back when you were thinking of leaving if she had of done this would oyu be as worried? I doubt it. I personally think this just shows that you are emotionally invested in this relationship now and dont want to get hurt. Perfectly normal, You just have to learn to trust her.
</ Drunken Ramblings from a lurker>

The really strange thing is I'm going through a very similar time, except my current gf is realy compatible with me in almost every way....just not the bedroom. I feel like a complete douche for even wondering if sex is worth more than a really good realtionship. Think I need another beer.

Shego, your just going to have to trust her. It's apparent you both have trust issues right now and one of you is just going to have to suck it up and put themselves on the line if it's ever going to get better... and it's probably going to have to be you.

It's not just the trust thing, it's the treatment recently as well.

Also, like I said, it's not that I don't trust her (or I'd be stalking her on her outings) it's just seems so damn "off".

You're making sense Amorous, no worries. As for joining in her activities? The clubbing thing I can't really do as I work early in the morning every day except Sunday (If she decided to go out on a Sat. night, I might) her other interests I try and indulge her whenever I can (I'll sit through her girly romance flicks without being a bitch about it) or I encourage her to do the things she likes without restraint.

Shegokigo said:

You're making sense Amorous, no worries. As for joining in her activities? The clubbing thing I can't really do as I work early in the morning every day except Sunday (If she decided to go out on a Sat. night, I might) her other interests I try and indulge her whenever I can (I'll sit through her girly romance flicks without being a bitch about it) or I encourage her to do the things she likes without restraint.

Click to expand...

You are a resourceful gaming person so I might suggest that you "could" try to go one of the nights when you know the next day you could "function" partly.

My wife calls it "Kon-mode" basically at conventions you sleep less and do more activities, granted you would need time to help "catch up" but doing it once a month or rare occasion, I'm sure you can pull it off (if you want to)

I know it might be hard physically since dancing is more physical than a late night raiding when you can sit in a chair and mentally work instead of physical, but it is doable

I go out drinking and clubbing occasionally when I have a morning shift, because I think it'll be worth it. :shrug:

Sometimes you just gotta do shit like that. Besides, it sounds like you were ready to ditch work one day anyway. It might be worth a shot.

Yeah, I've done the whole going out / early morning shift thing a few times too. You aren't at peak performance, probably, but as long as you manage to be sober enoguh to drive at 6am (say, stop drinking at 2 am or so) it really shouldn't be much of an issue. Especially since, as the Gusguy said, you can "ditch" work occasionally anyway, apparently.

That said - it's very much just trust issues. She is actin differnetly because she hasn't completely coped yet with what you've told her, and you have trouble trusting her because, well, you're usually a very guarded person. You didn't need to really trust her before - when it was just a relationship for the ease of life, what did you care? Now that you care and feel for her and have opened up certain gates/broken down walls, you have an emotional investment which can be very hard. It's difficult trusting someone else with your love/self.