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The Bear Thread

Aug 24, 2010#1

FnordBear

Bears. How do they work?

Post all things bear related here. Koalas are ok too.

Panda bamboo-zled by her birthday cake | The Sun |News

BOTTOMS up! Funi the giant panda is a bit bamboo-zled by her birthday cake - and scoffs it whole as she turns four yesterday.

She got stuck right in to the treat stuffed with fruit at Adelaide Zoo in Australia.
Keeper Simon Bayly said: "This birthday's a turning point. She'll get more mature." So perhaps others will get a slice of the action.

Aug 24, 2010#2

Element 117

FnordBear said:
Bears. How do they work?

Post all things bear related here. Koalas are ok too.

Panda bamboo-zled by her birthday cake | The Sun |News

BOTTOMS up! Funi the giant panda is a bit bamboo-zled by her birthday cake - and scoffs it whole as she turns four yesterday.

She got stuck right in to the treat stuffed with fruit at Adelaide Zoo in Australia.
Keeper Simon Bayly said: "This birthday's a turning point. She'll get more mature." So perhaps others will get a slice of the action.

Click to expand...

*kicks Fnord in his balls*

Aug 24, 2010#3

FnordBear

Ouch! Not my small, sensitive, balls!

Aug 24, 2010#4

Disconnected

FnordBear said:
Ouch! Not my small, sensitive, balls!

she can survive over a minute

Aug 24, 2010#5

Element 117

71 seconds!

Aug 24, 2010#6

FnordBear

Just remember I support:

Aug 24, 2010#7

Terrik

I'm waiting for Baer to come

Aug 24, 2010#8

PatrThom

Shoot! Stupid bear! We are sick of it!

--Patrick

Aug 24, 2010#9

Allen, who is Quiet

FnordBear said:
Just remember I support:

grisly

Aug 24, 2010#10

Element 117

are why god gave us these

so that we could have this

Aug 24, 2010#11

Jiarn

Personal Favorites:

Aug 24, 2010#12

checkeredhat

Holy crap. I've waited for this for so long. Be right back, I need to upload some files..

---------- Post added at 03:57 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:49 AM ----------

Edit: Back. I waded through my friends and my collection.. Here are a few.

Aug 24, 2010#13

FnordBear

Aug 24, 2010#14

Terrik

A bear there was, a bear, a bear!
All black and brown, and covered with hair!
The bear! The bear!
Oh, come, they said, oh come to the fair!
The fair? Said he, but I'm a bear!
All black, and brown, and covered with hair!

And Down the road from here to there.
From here! To There!
Three boys, a goat, and a dancing bear!
[He] danced and spun, all the way to the Fair!
The Fair! The Fair!

...
Oh, sweet she was, and pure, and fair!
The maid with honey in her hair!
Her hair! Her hair!
The maid with honey in her hair!

[The bear,] smelled the scent on the summer air.
The bear! The bear!
All black and brown and covered with hair.
He smelled the scent on the summer air!
He sniffed and roared and smelled it there!
Honey on the summer air!

Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair!
I'll never dance with a hairy bear!
A bear! A bear!
I'll never dance with a hairy bear!
He lifted her high into the air!
The bear! The bear!

I called for a knight, but you're a bear!
A bear! A bear!
All black and brown and covered with hair!
She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair,
But he licked the honey from her hair,
Her hair! Her hair!

Then she sighed and squealed and kicked the air!
My bear! She sang. My bear so fair!
And off they went, from here to there,
The bear, the bear, and the maiden fair.

Aug 24, 2010#15

checkeredhat

That reminds me!

The bear went over the mountain to see what he could see. HEY!
The other side of the mountain was all that he could see, SO,
He went back over the mountain to see what he could see. HEY!
The other side of the mountain was all that he could see!

You darn fool, you darn fool, can't you plainly see? HEY!
It's nothing but a cabbage head his grandma said to me. HO!
Many a-miles I've traveled, a thousand miles or so, HEY!
I never saw a head of cabbage with hair upon it before!

Aug 24, 2010#16

Element 117

Aug 24, 2010#17

checkeredhat

Aug 24, 2010#18

Element 117

Obvious Contest is......

Aug 24, 2010#19

strawman

Aug 24, 2010#20

Disconnected

ha. a pun.

Aug 25, 2010#21

checkeredhat

Round two!

Aug 25, 2010#22

strawman

checkeredhat said:

It's not a fair fight unless the shark has a frickin' laser on its forehead.

Aug 25, 2010#23

Frankie Williamson

Bear meat is fucking terrible. It's greasy and awful.

Aug 25, 2010#24

HCGLNS

Frank said:
Bear meat is fucking terrible. It's greasy and awful.

I've never found it to be, what kind of bear are you eating?

Hungry bear steals car - crashes it into tree - Odd News | newslite.tv

and just last week bears were found protecting marijuana in BC.

Aug 25, 2010#25

Silver Jelly

Aug 25, 2010#26

General Specific

Don't worry, everyone, Colbert is on the job.

Aug 26, 2010#27

Frankie Williamson

HCGLNS;431392][QUOTE=Frank said:
Bear meat is fucking terrible. It's greasy and awful.

Aug 26, 2010#28

strawman

Frank;431707][QUOTE=HCGLNS;431392][QUOTE=Frank said:
Bear meat is fucking terrible. It's greasy and awful.

I've never found it to be, what kind of bear are you eating?

Hungry bear steals car - crashes it into tree - Odd News | newslite.tv

and just last week bears were found protecting marijuana in BC.[/QUOTE]

I've had both grizzly and black. Both were awful, greasy messes.[/QUOTE]

You shouldn't have fattened them up on McDonalds for so many months before eating them.

Actually, it makes me curious. In preparing for hibernation, bears fatten up a great deal more than other animals prior to winter. I wonder what is the best time of year to butcher them so you don't end up with all tough lean meat, nor overly fat infused meat...

Aug 26, 2010#29

HCGLNS

Spring bears are genuinely regarded as the best tasting.

Frank, what was the source of the meat? If they were dump bears I could see the distaste, but deep woods bears prepped correctly are delicious.

Aug 26, 2010#30

MindDetective

Bear related comics at the Abominable Charles Christopher, which everyone should read: The Abominable Charles Christopher - A Webcomic by Karl Kerschl

Aug 26, 2010#31

Frankie Williamson

HCGLNS said:
Spring bears are genuinely regarded as the best tasting.

Frank, what was the source of the meat? If they were dump bears I could see the distaste, but deep woods bears prepped correctly are delicious.

I live way up in the middle of Canada's boreal forest/fuck nowhere. They're definitely deep woods bears. Apparently from what I understand from all the hunters I know and have asked about it since posting in this thread, it has to do with the age of the bear. You want to eat a young adult for best eatin'.

I don't care for the meat either way. It's just too grizzy.

Aug 26, 2010#32

Baerdog

Terrik said:
I'm waiting for Baer to come

Good news, everyone!

Aug 26, 2010#33

Silver Jelly

Frank said:
I don't care for the meat either way. It's just too grizzy.

Aug 26, 2010#34

HCGLNS

Frank said:
You want to eat a young adult for best eatin'.

Absolutely, the younger bear you can get the better.

With that in mind,

=shoots Baerdog=

Good news everyone! Fresh Baer steaks!

Aug 26, 2010#35

General Specific

Aug 26, 2010#36

Espy

MindDetective said:
Bear related comics at the Abominable Charles Christopher, which everyone should read: The Abominable Charles Christopher - A Webcomic by Karl Kerschl

Holy crap this is amazing. I can already tell the wait between strips is going to be unbearable.

Aug 26, 2010#37

Fun Size

It's pretty consistently updated Wednesdays, which is kind of amazing given the art.

Aug 26, 2010#38

Element 117

Fun Size said:
It's pretty consistently updated Wednesdays, which is kind of amazing given the art.

smooth recover, there. That could have gotten grisly.

Aug 26, 2010#39

Fun Size

Well, I didn't want to end up em-bear-assed.

Aug 26, 2010#40

North_Ranger

In the ancient Finnish pagan tradition, the bear hunt was considered the greatest hunt of all. And it was no easy task back then, when the most powerful projectile weapon was the crossbow and most people used hunting spears to take down a bear. It was a communal hunt, often with shamanistic overtones.

Usually, after the bear was killed, its spirit would be placated with ritual chants, telling the spirit not to be angered, that its death was not caused by the hunters, but was an accident or the bear's own fault. The corpse would then be carried in procession back to the village, where it would be skinned and prepared for a feast. The feast was not actually about killing the bear; it was karhunpeijaiset, 'the funeral of a bear', sending the spirit of the bear on so it could come back in the next life and be once again game for the huntsmen. In some cases, the bear's skull and pelt would be treated as honoured guests and given food and drink during the feast, or the skull was taken to a ceremonial pine tree through which its spirit could return to the woods. Sometimes the bear would even be 'given' a wife - a young girl who would sing and tend to the bear's meat as it was prepared. In the peijaiset itself, women were often not allowed as it was believed that the spirit of the bear was so potent that it could impregnate women who ate bear meat. During or after the feast the bear's teeth would be divided among the hunters as powerful talismans.

In addition, the bear is greatly revered in Finnish folk tradition and (neo)pagan beliefs. The bear was considered the king of the forest, and the favoured animal of Tapio, god of the woods. Some traditions also believe in actual kinship between bear and man, that the two were somehow related (hence another reason why the bear could impregnate women). And while the actual worship of the bear as a demigod or a powerful shamanistic spirit is no more, the tradition of holding peijaiset after a succesful bear hunt is still very much alive in modern-day hunting societies.

Aug 26, 2010#41