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The Facebook Status Thread

Aug 13, 2010#1

David

Post facebook/myspace/ect. status updates here you'd like to share. They can be insightful, witty, or just something that caught your attention.

Status - Does human stupidity lead to a reproductive advantage?
Comment - Yeah: Abstinence-only education. ZING!

Aug 13, 2010#2

phil

my friend Anthony always has good ones.

One of my co-workers asked the name of a romantic comedy that featured both James Franco ("The friend from Spiderman") and Jason Statham ("The main guy from Crank") and before I could say that it didn't exist another co-worker said "Right, it's directed by Guy Ritchie, it was his first movie before Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" Another co-worker said "Oh yeah, that one." I think I'm insane now.

In an effort to fit in here in Brooklyn I bought a pair of skinny jeans. Everyone cried "THIS IS MADNESS YOU MOUNTAIN OF A MAN!" but despite their protests and the laws of God I managed to fit them on. Unfortunately this caused all the fat in my legs to push up into my belly and all my belly fat to push up into my head so now it's like a pulsing bean bag chair with features. I feel really cool though.

Last night in the subway I got mad at a rat dragging a packet of salsa across the track because he obviously had a taco waiting for him somewhere and I didn't but then I turned around and saw two dudes making out hard and I was happy cuz I remembered love exists but then I turned around and somebody threw a cup at the rat and he dropped the salsa and I was sad cuz his taco wasn't going to be that good.

comment:

The New York subway system is a roller coaster of emotion.

There was a lady on the street whose skirt kept getting whipped up by the wind. When she passed me she gave me a really mean look like I was the one responsible, like I was the star of a shitty early 80's teen comedy where I had mind powers and used them to blow up women's skirts and teach robots and gorillas how to party. Sure I would do those things if I had powers, but I don't, so fuck you lady buy some pants.

and this is just the past week or so.

Aug 13, 2010#3

David

Your friend sounds awesome, Phil.

Aug 13, 2010#4

phil

this is the guy responsible for all those.

the one killing himself.

Aug 13, 2010#5

Gusto

Allen and I gearing up for Scott Pilgrim:

Aug 13, 2010#6

CynicismKills

Dear Facebook, please stop asking me to identify Darkseid from a wall photo I posted. Even if he has a Facebook page I can't imagine he's got anyone friended except Death, and they probably don't even talk that much. Warmest Regards, Me.

This was my last status update.

I want to post stuff from other people but unfortunately most of my friends aren't very witty. D:

Aug 31, 2010#7

phil

Yesterday from my friend who is getting married (today)

*gulp*

and then the first comment also by him:

Still single for 20 more hours...ladies...

Aug 31, 2010#8

Terrik

The connection has timed out

The server at Welcome to Facebook is taking too long to respond.

Damn.

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