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All of the question threads recently have reminded me of the 10 questions that James Lipton posits to all of his guests. They are:

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on?
4. What turns you off?
5. What sound or noise do you love?
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
7. What is your favorite curse word?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?


So what are your answers?

I'll go first.

1. What is your favorite word?
"Fixed" I work in tech support so when something is fixed, then the issue is done and the caller is happy. That means I can get off the phone now.

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Supervisor" Generally means that the person is not listening to me and/or I don't know the answer to something. I hate not knowing.

3. What turns you on?
Laughter. Especially when I make someone laugh at something. It makes me feel great.

4. What turns you off?
Crying. It brings out something paternal in me and I just want to make it better.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
A fart from a friend or loved one. It means they are completely comfortable and relaxed. I can be the same.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Fingernails on a chalkboard. Makes me shiver just thinking about it.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
"God damnit" I just love the tinge of blasphemy in there. Makes it fun to say.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Musician. With all the bad pop stars out there, how hard could it really be?

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Septic Tank Cleaner.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
The LAN party begins in 10 minutes.

Who in the world is James Lipton?

Gruebeard said:

Who in the world is James Lipton?

Click to expand...

Guy who invented those powdered soup packages.

Oh. I ain't answering that bastard's questions!

1. What is your favorite word?
Gerschplitz (no, it isn't a real word, but there is a long story behind it)
2. What is your least favorite word?
Chiding. I introduced it to my mother in laws vocabulary 3 years ago, and whenever you point out something she does she starts with "Stop chiding me."
3. What turns you on?
I like when my wife wears her hair up
4. What turns you off?
Chapstick
5. What sound or noise do you love?
I like hearing my cat purr
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of a car hitting another car
7. What is your favorite curse word?
fucktard
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Game store owner
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Factory work. Blech.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You were always my favorite.

1. What is your favorite word?
onomatopoeia

2. What is your least favorite word?
literally

3. What turns you on?
My gf's derriere

4. What turns you off?
vapidness and/or unladylike behavior

5. What sound or noise do you love?
the cello

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
loud bass from car stereos

7. What is your favorite curse word?
son-of-bitch - it slides of the tongue quite easily

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
musician

9. What profession would you not like to do?
lawyer

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Well done my good and faithful servant

1. What is your favorite word?
Balloon. It's fun to say.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Goad. It sounds like some kind of petrified cheese.

3. What turns you on?
Intelligence and confidence

4. What turns you off?
Liars, know-it-alls, laziness, and whiners

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Laughter, especially by my son and husband.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
A phone that's ringing and ringing off the hook, but not being answered.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
FUCK

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Chef

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Housekeeper

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates
Hey! What're YOU doing here?

1. What is your favorite word
ubiquitous

2. What is your least favorite word?
réveil

3. What turns you on?
a girl with a beautiful smile

4. What turns you off?
Hipocrisy

5. What sound or noise do you love?
piano

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
car alarm systems

7. What is your favorite curse word?
motherfucker

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Spy

9. What profession would you not like to do?
factory chain worker

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates
Sup bitch?

1. What is your favorite word?
Beer. Not just because of the product, but it's so easy to say and you can change inflection with it quickly.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Green or Buckeye.

3. What turns you on?
Assertiveness. Intelligence. Faith. More superficially: red hair, pale skin, and freckles.

4. What turns you off?
Liberal ideology.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The soothing hum of a fan.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Tongue clicks.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Damn/Dammit.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Politician.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Mechanic.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome home, My son, you have earned it.

1. What is your favorite word?
epiphany

2. What is your least favorite word?
smegma

3. What turns you on?
A mental challenge

4. What turns you off?
People who lack humor

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Gentle wind through trees

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Kids crying

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck is the most useful, but I tend to fall back on God dammit.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Video game reviewer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything medical. I wouldn't like the responsibility of other people's health, and the human body is, in many fine and interesting ways, disgusting.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
He wouldn't say anything. He'd just laugh and shake his head the way I do at my kids when they're being naughty, but they know they're going to get away with it because it's funny.

1. What is your favorite word? Largely

2. What is your least favorite word? Can't

3. What turns you on? A woman with that certain sparkle of intelligence in her eyes.

4. What turns you off? Idiots, or people with a misplaced sense of superiority.

5. What sound or noise do you love? Birds singing. I have so many birds in my back yard in the springtime that it can get quite loud. Louder than anything running in my house even.

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Dial-up modem handshaking.

7. What is your favorite curse word? Single use: Asshat Compound: son of A BITCH! It has such a nice crescendo, and is very cathartic to let it build to its proper climax.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pilot

9. What profession would you not like to do? Plumber or Septic Tank Cleaner. Any job handling some one out side your families fecal matter.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "You again?"

1. What is your favorite word? Fun
2. What is your least favorite word? Assume
3. What turns you on? Genuine interest, honesty
4. What turns you off? Fake, rehearsed, "mandatory" attention
5. What sound or noise do you love? Classical music
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Crying, because I just want to fix it.
7. What is your favorite curse word? FUBAR
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Fantasy writer
9. What profession would you not like to do? Electrical Engineer
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Hey, I remember you.

1. What is your favorite word?
Clearance ( I am cheap )


2. What is your least favorite word?
Dentist ( I hate Dentist)


3. What turns you on?
Laughter


4. What turns you off?
Stupidity ( I don't mean goody or innocent stupid either I mean just plain stupidity)


5. What sound or noise do you love?
A noise from a classic game that sends me into a nostalgia ridden memory.


6. What sound or noise do you hate?
High shrill noises like the sound that comes from old CRT TV's


7. What is your favorite curse word?
I don't swear


8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Game Designer


9. What profession would you not like to do?
Loan Specialist ( I would hate seeing myself in a position where I am watching/helping people get into debt)


10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
We have wireless broadband!

Well off the top of my head.....

1. What is your favorite word?
I actually have lots of favourites but today my favourite word is 'About'.
2. What is your least favorite word?
faggot
3. What turns you on?
Modesty, humility. That and fat older men
4. What turns you off?
arrogant skinny chicks
5. What sound or noise do you love?
silence
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
baby's squeal
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fucknuts
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
film maker
9. What profession would you not like to do?
surgeon
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Your mom's been waiting

1. What is your favorite word? Flabbergasted. It just works so well to convey its meaning.

2. What is your least favorite word? Off-hand, I'd say Short fuse. More of an expression, true, but every time I see that it means we've got something in the area of an hour to translate an ungodly amount of words.

3. What turns you on? My girlfriend in general.

4. What turns you off? Wilful ignorance.

5. What sound or noise do you love? Maybe it's because I'm around it all day, but I find the sound of a keyboard clicking very soothing.

6. What sound or noise do you hate? High-pitched shrieks, among others.

7. What is your favorite curse word? Double-monkey-fuck damn. It's from Something Positive and it is perfect.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Maybe a martial arts instructor.

9. What profession would you not like to do? Any other kind of teacher. I don't know how you guys do it.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 'Sup?

1. What is your favorite word?
food
2. What is your least favorite word?
whatever
3. What turns you on?
My wife when she's confident
4. What turns you off?
Rampant selfcentrists
5. What sound or noise do you love?
Rain
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
A running toilet
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Toss pot
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Brewer
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Collections agent, or brewer
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Huh...

1. What is your favorite word?
Gorgeous

2. What is your least favorite word?
Ugly

3. What turns you on?
a light touch

4. What turns you off?
Whining

5. What sound or noise do you love?
a wailing guitar

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
There's this alarm at work. Horrible.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Doh! (That's pushing the idea of cursing, but I use it more than anything)

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Teacher

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything banking related. Yeah, there's money galore to be made, but no.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You're right, I don't care that you didn't believe in Me.

1. What is your favorite word?

Recalcitrant

2. What is your least favorite word?

Episiotomy

3. What turns you on?

Fascinating conversation

4. What turns you off?

Entitlement and impoliteness

5. What sound or noise do you love?

The loudness of a little six-pound kitty playing with a plastic thingy

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

Constant sniffling

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Motherfucker

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Pianist

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Anything in food service

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"HA HA, you were wrong...but we're cool."

ZenMonkey said:

5. What sound or noise do you love?

The loudness of a little six-pound kitty playing with a plastic thingy

Click to expand...

Oh yeah. I want to change my answer to this question to "a purring cat"

1. What is your favorite word?
Hello

2. What is your least favorite word?
Recount

3. What turns you on?
Integrity, intelligence and honesty.

4. What turns you off?
Unfaithfulness

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Bork bork bork!

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Buzzers and dog whistles.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Odins Teeth.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Astronaut

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Telephone operator

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"I burst my pimples at you and call your door opening request a silly thing!"

1. What is your favorite word?
Plop. It just makes me smile every time I hear it. Brings out the childish humor in me I guess.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Hate. It seems like a word that says "no matter what happens or who is involved I will always be against it." I also don't like the blind anger that word can produce.

3. What turns you on?
Happy. Just being generally happy. I tend to absorb the moods of people around me, so having happy people around me is a good thing.

4. What turns you off?
Blind adherence to what you know. I cannot stand when someone is not able to even ponder the thought of being wrong.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Nothing. Or maybe nature. At least I think it is nothing. I had a friend stay at my house who had never been out of the cities, and he couldn't sleep because all he could hear were crickets and cows that were a good 2 miles away. I love being able to take a walk through the woods and not hearing anything other than the noise the woods make.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Horns. Their whole existence is to take you out of the moment you are in. Too jolting for me.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck. It just says it all.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Musician. I would love to be able to make a living out of my thoughts and feelings, just not talented or driven enough.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Census worker. For reasons stated in the political forum.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome

1. What is your favorite word?

Madness.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Powned, or if you want a real word, buck. Why? Because it's the first word in the sentence my SS always uses when he's about to chew us out.

3. What turns you on?

Dark hair and glasses.

4. What turns you off?

Illogical self destructive bullshit. Like when a person will set up a situation so the only possible outcome is something bad that can happen to them for the sole purpose of getting upset over it. IE: Nearly every room mate I've ever had.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

Silence, or lack of noise. If it wasn't entirely necessary for living life the way I do, I could totally give up sound. So many noises bother me.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

The sloshy mouth noise some people make when they talk. Very often elderly people. This sound riles me up worse than any noise in the world. That sound actually makes me angry to hear.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

****.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Video game designer.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Jail guard.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Hey buddy, don't worry about being wrong about believing in me. I'm totally not the dick most religions make me out to be.

1. What is your favorite word?
Probably "word". I think it's making a comeback.
2. What is your least favorite word?
I'll say "pussy". I live in a college town, so for most guys it's an instant brawl if someone says it to someone else. In an intimate setting it's just kind of weird to say, like you're trying to make this a porno.
3. What turns you on?
Well, without getting too specific, I'd say a good smile and sexy voice.
4. What turns you off?
When it really looks like they're trying too hard.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
Rain in the morning. Double points if I don't have to get up.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Knocking on my door. It reminds me of when I was in high school and overslept, so my dad would bang on my door to wake me up. Still gets me a little apprehensive
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Son of a bitch. Especially when they say it "sumbitch"
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Councilor or psychiatrist
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Coroner
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
What do you want to do first?