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I was thinking today about some of the biggest regrets in my life. The biggest one is probably never telling an old friend of mine how I felt about her when we first met in high school.

We don't see each much anymore (she's married to a pretty rad guy and has 2 kids with a third on the way) but every time we get together I get the same flood of emotions I did back when I was a shy, idiot fat kid in school. It's silly and I am thankful for who I have now but sometimes I wonder if things may have been different.

You know.

Regrets.

Wow, I have this story, almost to a tee. I was madly in love with a hippy chic girl in high school. Now she has a really good husband and kids, and I also can't help but think about what could've been sometimes. I did get up the nerve to tell her when I was in college, but the moment had passed. She was dead silent for like 2 whole minutes, and finally asked me why I never said anything back in high school. The weird thing is she is still one of my best friends, and we talk all the time. But she has her life, and I have mine.

Happened again when I was a post-doc. I already had a kid by this point. But I befriended this girl who was like, I don't know--very compatible, let's say. I could tell the feeling was mutual. But, life was what it was, and I couldn't help but feel a little regret about that. None of this is saying anything about my feelings for my wife, which are fine. It's just part of life. I'd say more, but I should probably shut up now.

I ended up hooking up with my high school 'regret' after college with some social lubricant and liquid courage. Burned brightly and burned out quickly. Now the regret is wasting time regreting it.

Sometimes I regret leaving the South and moving to Canada.
Just sometimes.

Looking back on my life my biggest regret is being as insecure as I was. I can't believe just how awful I felt about myself and how bothersome it must have been to be around me, mostly during high school. It seems so silly to me now, like 'Really, I disliked myself that much?". Bleh.

I'm glad I figured things out though, took me a while, but I did do it. And all on my own.

LittleKagsin said:

Looking back on my life my biggest regret is being as insecure as I was. I can't believe just how awful I felt about myself and how bothersome it must have been to be around me, mostly during high school. It seems so silly to me now, like 'Really, I disliked myself that much?". Bleh.

I'm glad I figured things out though, took me a while, but I did do it. And all on my own.

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I pretty much have the same regret, except mine lasted through college. I'm 31 now and just really came out of my shell in the last few years.

Even Leo the Late Bloomer looked at me and was all like, "Get it together, man!"

I regret making the school decisions I did based on what would allow me to spend time with the girl I was with at the time. I could have gone straight to a CalState University out of high school and have had a Bachelors degree finished by now, instead I just finished an AS at my community college and am struggling to get the classes I need to transfer to a university and finish the rest of the way.

In a related vein, I regret all the hours I spent on excessive video games rather than doing better in school and getting good scholarships. I'm still plenty young, but I'm too old to be any kind of prodigy anymore.

I regret not helping my grandpa in his workshop that day back in 1998...might have had a few more years with him if I had.

I regret marrying the woman I married.

I regret not spending more time with my grandmother in her last days.

I regret not making more of my life than I have.

Regrets and what-ifs go hand in hand. One is the path we took. One is the path that could have been. But in the end I would not be who I am now without who I was then.

I'm currently rectifying my biggest regret in finishing college.

The other biggest regret I have is letting 2 of my best friends just slip out of touch.

I think this is a repeat from an older regrets thread, but it's one of my only big ones. My godmother committed suicide when my parents were away for a weekend. Usually we'd have been able to just stay at home in high school, but for some reason, mom asked that we go and stay at a friend or relative's house. I decided to go stay at my grandma's. I always think about what would have happened if I'd have called my godmother instead. She wouldn't have tried that with me around. It might have given her more time to find better help or reconsider. I know I'm not to blame, but I wonder if she would have found a way to beat her depression if she wouldn't have had the opportunity that weekend. I really regret not calling her.

The first thing that comes to mind is the "one that got away" story (which is in the Ask advice section), but honestly, I don't miss her specifically. I regret not being able to find someone that fits all the criteria that she fit for me. Might be the same thing, sadly enough, but when it comes to women, she raised the bar probably too high. That's still something I have to work on for myself.

Aside from that? I don't know. I regret paying for and seeing Alien: Resurrection and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation in theatres...back-to-back in the same night.

ThatNickGuy said:

Aside from that? I don't know. I regret paying for and seeing Alien: Resurrection and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation in theatres...back-to-back in the same night.

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That night must have been even more disappointing than your prom night.

ThatNickGuy said:

Aside from that? I don't know. I regret paying for and seeing Alien: Resurrection and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation in theatres...back-to-back in the same night.

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Oh, god. You have known great tragedy in life. I weep for your pain.

It was...so...horrible...

Bowielee said:

That night must have been even more disappointing than your prom night.

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Oi!

...yeah.

This thread inspired me to practice guitar for the last half hour. I regret never picking up and sticking with an instrument all through my childhood. I'm starting my 15-30 minutes a day so that I won't continue regretting never learning to play music.

Yay! That's awesome. Pretty soon you can post some videos.

Nick, I paid money for Alien: Resurrection, too.... *solemn hug*

I regret not having done more with my life. Like Kagsin, I was so insecure most of my life, making me afraid of rejection or failure of any type. So in my mind, the best way to avoid these things was to not even try. Can't fail what you don't do, right? Consequently, I have no one else to blame for where my life is now but myself.

I'm considering recording my practice sessions regardless of current skill; make a video time-lapse of going from complete beginner to more advanced. Would anybody be interested in that if I uploaded to youtube?

David said:

I'm considering recording my practice sessions regardless of current skill; make a video time-lapse of going from complete beginner to more advanced. Would anybody be interested in that if I uploaded to youtube?

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Do eet.

Cajungal said:

Nick, I paid money for Alien: Resurrection, too.... *solemn hug*

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*big hugs* Though my pain is doubled because of MK: Annihilation. In the same night.

Yeah, you should do that! That way you have extra incentive to keep it up. I'll watch em.

I regret coming back to this forum...






































...so late.

Cajungal said:

Nick, I paid money for Alien: Resurrection, too.... *solemn hug*

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What, you didn't love the totally accurate physics? Clearly, 1 atmosphere of air pressure escapes a tiny hole with enough force to strip a living being of its flesh.

I regret going to college. If I could go back I would never have gone.

I had a 'that girl' in college. I knew her for two years, and she quickly became my greatest friend. We never dated, there was never even any interest in dating (though I'll admit I found her attractive). There was never any romantic intent, no sex, just long nights talking and sharing. It may have been the most intimate relationship I've ever had.

I regret letting her slip away. She was ill, and this illness made it necessary that she move. I was incredibly sad to see her go, and we promised we'd keep in touch, but somehow slipped apart. Other things came up, the thought that we might always reconnect sometime later made it seem less important, and life went on.

And then I found out she died. She was much sicker than she ever let on. And the worst part is I found out about her death years after it had happened. I seemed to have been the only person that never got the news, and everyone I knew that had known her had already grieved and moved on.

ThatNickGuy said:

*big hugs* Though my pain is doubled because of MK: Annihilation. In the same night.

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Yeah, I paid money to see both of them.... but in the same night... that's just brutal.

Aw poe im so sorry. *hugs*

Wow... where to begin?

1: I regret coming out to my parents at 16. I should have kept them in the dark so that I could have leeched the hell out of them. Had them put me through college, fund my business ideas and when I was finally financially set, flip them the finger and disappear from their life all together (of course this would have had to be with the knowledge that they were all going to disown me at the "reveal")

2: I regret spending 7yrs with my Ex. She was a great girl but we were NOT compatible in anyway. We didn't have any similar likes at all. Music, TV, movies, gaming anything. We were together for the security and the sex. Halfway through that relationship I met a woman who still haunts my memory to this day. One of our best friends. I fell so deeply infatuated with her and yet I kept her at a distance so that I wouldn't ruin the relationship I had with my current GF at the time. Then 3yrs later my relationship ended and I never told the other one how I really felt. Now she's been married and divorced and I treated her like shit for so long she won't have anything to do with me.

3: I finally meet my picture perfect woman, same likes/dislikes/gaming/movies everything I could ever want in a girl and I just couldn't find her physically attractive (Among other sexual issues) and I ended up leaving her for someone terrible for me but good in bed. Worst of all she kept trying to get me to go back to her and it actually ripped me up inside to flat out tell her "No, it can't be fixed". I never did tell her what the problem was, other than I claimed I didn't "feel the same way" about her, which was total bullshit, I was "infatuated" with the girl from example #2. This? This was the closest thing to bliss I ever found in someone outside of the bedroom. Unfortunately it seems my sex drive is more important to me than my mental and emtional sanity because I burned that bridge to the ground. I still think of her.... every... single... day.... for nearly a year and a half....

My "that girl" story is sort of different. I told her how I felt and I'm glad we never got together; what I regret is spending so much time hung up on her when there were other girls to date and/or hook up with over those couple of years. But for all I know I would've contracted some STD in that time, so it's probably for the best as it is.

Man, Ravenpoe. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I regret my attitude the 2 years I spent in culinary school. Classes were fun and stimulating, but I hated that town and the people in it. It made me really unkind and bitter. I barely read... hell, I barely did anything besides study, watch shitty movies, and eat bad food. It's how I got up to 220 pounds, actually. I'm not sure exactly what was wrong with me back then, but I lost all interest in things I used to love and kind of retreated into myself. I wish I could have found a way to get my head out of my ass and enjoy my time there more.

****************WARNING***************
Incoming wall of text.

I've actually thought about adapting this period of my life into a short story or novel.

When I was in my later teen years, I worked as a counselor at a Lutheran summer camp. This camp was the best thing to ever happen to me in my life. I grew up being told pretty regularly what a useless sack of crap I was and this was the first place that I felt valued and respected. Most of the staff were former campers, like myself, and at the time I had come to become very close friends with a guy we will call Luke. I never knew what it was about him, but we just kind of clicked.

I had recently to the realization that I really was gay, and I was accepting it pretty well. I'd come out to a great many of my friends and family and though there were some rocky times with my mother and some very uncomfortable situations at thanksgiving and school, I was taking everything in stride. But here at camp, the entire staff knew me and accepted me with no questions asked. This summer, I'd found myself thinking more and more about Luke and my feelings for him and what started out early on as a friendship was evolving to much more... at least on my end. It seemed as if Luke and I were getting close to actually forming some sort of relationship. That was until our friend Sue brought her new boyfriend to work at camp that summer. He was a nice enough guy. He kind of looked like Johnny Galecki from Big Bang Theory.

The summer was just starting out and that meant orientation for all the camp staff. What I didn't know was that on that staff trip, Luke and Sue's boyfriend.... well.... "had relations". What ensued for the rest of the summer was a clusterfuck of biblical proportions. We had Luke and Sue's boyfriend conducting a secret love affair. Sue wondering why her boyfriend was being so distant all of a sudden, and me, pining over Luke. In the whole love... quadrangle?... I was the only one who was going through it alone, and the only one who wasn't getting any. Worst of all, due to my "you're so easy to talk to" nature, all three of them were independently confiding all this to me.

Eventually it all came to a head, with Sue finding out about the affair. They attempted some sort of Gordian Knot sort of 3 way relationship that ended up with all three of them miserable. I was consoling all three of them, and of course no one was consoling me at all, because they were so busy sharing their burdens with me that none of them even realized that I was carrying any burdens of my own. In the end, we all ended up kind of going our separate ways.

You may be asking what this has to do with the price of tea in china. That brings me to the regret portion.

It wasn't until years later that I reconnected with Luke and finally had the balls to tell him that he was my first love, but knew nothing ever would have come of it. He turns around and tells me that I was HIS first love and that he regretted that we never ended up together.

So, yeah, that's my "that girl" story.

TLDNR version.

Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor, and what you think is so and what is actually so are not always in sync with each other.

Uploaded the first video:


Any more I make I'll probably link to from my art thread.

Electric? Get yourself an acoustic and really build up those callouses.

No money for new instruments gotta work with what I've already got.

Shoebox + rubber bands = acoustic guitar! My students taught me that.

Clothesline and a 2x4 = bass, according to Emmet Otter

But seriously, I think Seasick Steve uses a broomstick with like three strings screwed to it.

I regret moving to West Virginia for a time, that's where I was homeless for a while.
I regret not being in Philly when someone who was very close and very important to me passed away (my "that girl".)
I regret spending so much time trying to build and maintain a bridge to my family before they disowned me
I regret answering the phone any time they called for about a year after that.
I regret not being able to explain why I wouldn't be able to see or speak with my niece and nephew.

I'll probably regret making this post.

At my age and single, there have been too many good women that got away. Two of those women told me years later that they liked me years before. But I never caught on, or was too tied up my little dramas to pay attention.

Cajungal said:

Nick, I paid money for Alien: Resurrection, too.... *solemn hug*

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I regret not graduating from high-school errday. Started my senior year without any motivation to finish. No amount of disappointment from anyone could convince me otherwise.

Wish I could show past me where I am now, and punch him square in the nards.

I would have liked to be able to see my grandfather one last time before he passed away. He was good to me and all he asked of me was to spend time with him doing things I already liked but being a selfish child at the time I didn't give him much of the time of day.

I remember a day vividly, a 14 year old who was annoyed that I had to be at a cold as fuck funeral while snow/rain chiclets fell on me, with only the thought of going back home and playing some SNES.

Imagine my face when I found out that the university I could go to a few years later, was already paid for due with the money he gave my tuition fund that was transferred to my name in his will after he died.



Makes me sad how much of a dipshit I was to him.

Jay said:

I would have liked to be able to see my grandfather one last time before he passed away. He was good to me and all he asked of me was to spend time with him doing things I already liked but being a selfish child at the time I didn't give him much of the time of day.

I remember a day vividly, a 14 year old who was annoyed that I had to be at a cold as fuck funeral while snow/rain chiclets fell on me, with only the thought of going back home and playing some SNES.

Imagine my face when I found out that the university I could go to a few years later, was already paid for due with the money he gave my tuition fund that was transferred to my name in his will after he died.



Makes me sad how much of a dipshit I was to him.

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Yeah, this is much the same with my grandpa. He's still alive but he's got dementia so bad that if he recognizes me he thinks I'm still a child. When I was a teenager I would spend my summers on my grandpa's farm helping him chop wood, work in his shop, garden, etc. I resented it so bad at the time but now I realize how much I could have learned from him (seeing as he was a master mechanic to the point that the local mechanic shops in town often asked his advice on things) if I'd only been less of an obstinate little fuck.

You know what they say about wisdom and youth.

I regret that when I used to visit my grandparents, I was more interested in going into their computer room and playing The Red Baron than I was interested in spending time with them.

My grandma, on her death bed, reached over to me and said "I want you to know... I never really minded at all." I have a feeling she was talking about that (I did show some guilt whenever I asked if I could go play it) but I still feel bad that I didn't spend more quality time with them.