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Things that you did not know about Neil Gaiman

Nov 8, 2009#1

TotalFusionOne

20 Neil Gaiman Facts

1. Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
2. Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
3. If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
4. Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check. Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
5. Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen. In fifteen minutes. He won two Hugo awards for it.
6. Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
7. Most agents charge a 15% commission. Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
8. William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
9. Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
10. Some writers take inspiration from the muse. The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
11. Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
12. The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
13. Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book. This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
14. Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
15. Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
16. Hitler actually won World War II. Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
17. Some authors write in omniscient point of view. Neil Gaiman lives it.
18. Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
19. In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
20. Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending. However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.

Nov 8, 2009#2

The Lovely Boehner

So, Chuck Norris jokes really never get old, do they?

Nov 8, 2009#3

Krisken

They're a whole lot better when attributed to someone with talent.

Nov 8, 2009#4

Green_Lantern

Charlie Dont Surf said:
So, Chuck Norris jokes really never get old, do they?

Krisken said:
They're a whole lot better when attributed to someone with talent.

What the man with the avatar of a guy that I don't know says.

Nov 8, 2009#5

The Lovely Boehner

Chuck Norris has some repugnant political views, but he is as good at karate as Gaiman is at writing

Nov 8, 2009#6

ElJuski

Even though I hate Chuck Norris jokes...I fucking love Neil Gaiman. Points for a creative spin.

Nov 8, 2009#7

Krisken

Green_Lantern;294077][quote=Charlie Dont Surf said:
So, Chuck Norris jokes really never get old, do they?

Krisken said:
They're a whole lot better when attributed to someone with talent.

What the man with the avatar of a guy that I don't know says.[/QUOTE]
It's Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Nov 8, 2009#8

Gurpel

ElJuski said:
Even though I hate Chuck Norris jokes...I fucking love Neil Gaiman. Points for a creative spin.

yes, JIM C. HINES, points for creativity.
http://jimhines.livejournal.com/463935.html

Nov 8, 2009#9

ElJuski

Oh, well sweet Jim C. Hines!

Nov 8, 2009#10

Rob King

These were funny. I don't mind Chuck Norris-style jokes, especially when attributed to other people from other disciplines.

And when they're witty.

Nov 8, 2009#11

Soliloquy

Neil Gaiman wrote the first Chuck Norris joke.

Nov 8, 2009#12

HCGLNS

I had to google who Neil Gaiman was.

Then found out it was that guy and went "meh".

Then went, Delta Force was a bad ass movie!

Nov 8, 2009#13

Krisken

HCGLNS said:
I had to google who Neil Gaiman was.

Then found out it was that guy and went "meh".

Then went, Delta Force was a bad ass movie!

Disapproves

Nov 8, 2009#14

ElJuski

American Gods deserves its own spot in the literary canon. And that's just the tip of the iceberg of one of the most whimsical, profound voices in contemporary literature.

Nov 8, 2009#15

CynicismKills

I listened to the audio book of Stardust this weekend, he recites really well. It was much more enjoyable that way (and much more than the movie).

---------- Post added at 12:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:29 AM ----------

Also Mike was better, Krisken, though all due respect to MST3K's creator.

Nov 9, 2009#16

TotalFusionOne

Neverwhere. The book is amazing. The TV Miniseries from the BBC almost matched it.

Nov 9, 2009#17

bhamv3

Charlie Dont Surf said:
Chuck Norris has some repugnant political views, but he is as good at karate as Gaiman is at writing

The Bruce Lee movie where Bruce beats up Chuck Norris was on TV a few days ago. I remember thinking to myself, "I'm going to mentally replace 'Chuck Norris' with 'Bruce Lee' every time I read a Chuck Norris joke now."

Actually, wait, which movie was that? (Oh wait I found it, it was Way of the Dragon)

Nov 9, 2009#18

twitchmoss

has anyone else read 'A Study in Emerald'?
its an awesome short story by gaiman, which crosses sherlock holmes with the cthulhu mythos. A great read, especially if you can find the audiobook mp3 online somewhere. I think he reads it as well.

Nov 9, 2009#19

Hailey Knight

twitchmoss said:
has anyone else read 'A Study in Emerald'?
its an awesome short story by gaiman, which crosses sherlock holmes with the cthulhu mythos. A great read, especially if you can find the audiobook mp3 online somewhere. I think he reads it as well.

I read it. He really gets across a cool version of Holmes AND of the elder gods in some kind of weird "benefits with sacrifice" way.

Also loved the twist in the letter at the end.

Nov 9, 2009#20

JONJONAUG

Until recently I didn't know that Neil Gaiman wrote a pretty shitty short story about the character of Susan from Narnia that grossly misinterprets the few lines about her in the last Narnia book and features Aslan and the White Witch having violent sex, interspaced with Aslan eating Susan alive.

No, really.

Nov 9, 2009#21

Green_Lantern

JONJONAUG said:
Until recently I didn't know that Neil Gaiman wrote a pretty shitty short story about the character of Susan from Narnia that grossly misinterprets the few lines about her in the last Narnia book and features Aslan and the White Witch having violent sex, interspaced with Aslan eating Susan alive.

No, really.

Liar! Lets burn him like a witch!

Nov 9, 2009#22

Rob King

JONJONAUG said:
Until recently I didn't know that Neil Gaiman wrote a pretty shitty short story about the character of Susan from Narnia that grossly misinterprets the few lines about her in the last Narnia book and features Aslan and the White Witch having violent sex, interspaced with Aslan eating Susan alive.

No, really.

Shit. I want to read that, if for no other reason than to see what exactly it was he was trying to say.

As I do I enjoy Gaiman, but I enjoy C.S. Lewis too.

Nov 9, 2009#23

Green_Lantern

Rob King;295095][quote=JONJONAUG said:
Until recently I didn't know that Neil Gaiman wrote a pretty shitty short story about the character of Susan from Narnia that grossly misinterprets the few lines about her in the last Narnia book and features Aslan and the White Witch having violent sex, interspaced with Aslan eating Susan alive.

No, really.

Shit. I want to read that, if for no other reason than to see what exactly it was he was trying to say.

As I do I enjoy Gaiman, but I enjoy C.S. Lewis too.[/QUOTE]

I want to read it as well...

Nov 9, 2009#24

TotalFusionOne

Thread hijack: What happened to Pushing Daiseys? How did they end it?

Nov 9, 2009#25

Green_Lantern

TotalFusionOne said:
Thread hijack: What happened to Pushing Daiseys? How did they end it?

You mean the network executives? Well they sacrificed a virgin for they evil gods.

You mean the last episode? If you really want to know:

Ned decides to tell the Aunts that Chuck is alive and that he has the power to wake the dead, it simbolizes how Chuck influence let him to finally open about the major thing in his live and willing tell his secret to someone

*snif*

Nov 9, 2009#26

TotalFusionOne

SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO DO SPOILERS BECAUSE I'M KINDA PISSED OFF ABOUT THAT ENDING.

Nov 9, 2009#27

Green_Lantern

TotalFusionOne said:
SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO DO SPOILERS BECAUSE I'M KINDA PISSED OFF ABOUT THAT ENDING.

I pissed off that it was a ending at all, but they have like 3 episodes to wrap loose threads.

also you could just discuss the thing here http://www.halforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9468

Nov 9, 2009#28

JONJONAUG

Rob King;295095][quote=JONJONAUG said:
Until recently I didn't know that Neil Gaiman wrote a pretty shitty short story about the character of Susan from Narnia that grossly misinterprets the few lines about her in the last Narnia book and features Aslan and the White Witch having violent sex, interspaced with Aslan eating Susan alive.

No, really.

Shit. I want to read that, if for no other reason than to see what exactly it was he was trying to say.

As I do I enjoy Gaiman, but I enjoy C.S. Lewis too.[/QUOTE]

Well I don't know where you could read it online, but there's a couple of blog posts about it.

http://jennysbooks.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/“the-problem-of-susan”-neil-gaiman/

http://chrisrusso.xanga.com/4787797...-of-susan--narnia-and-gaiman-spoiler-warning/

The lion eats all of her except her head, in her dream. He leaves the head, and one of her hands, just as a housecat leaves the parts of a mouse it has no desire for; for later; or as a gift.

She wishes that he had eaten her head, then she would not have had to look. Dead eyelids cannot be closed, and she stares, unflinching, at twisted thing her brothers have become. The great beast eats her little sister more slowly; and, it seems to her, with more relish and pleasure than it had eaten her; but then, her little sister had always been its favorite.

The witch removes her white robes, revealing a body no less white, with high, small breasts, and nipples so dark they are almost black. The witch lies back upon the grass, spreads her legs. Beneath her body, the grass becomes rimed with frost. “Now,” she says….

And when the two of them are done, sweaty and sticky and sated, only then does the lion amble over to the head on the grass and devour it in its huge mouth, crunching her skull in its powerful jaws, and it is then, only then, that she wakes.

Yes, it's a dream sequence. Still, damn.

Nov 9, 2009#29

Krisken

CynicismKills said:
---------- Post added at 12:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:29 AM ----------

Also Mike was better, Krisken, though all due respect to MST3K's creator.

Respectfully, and politely, disagree. I understand it's a preference thing, though and can not be proven either way.

Nov 10, 2009#30

Hailey Knight

Rob King;295095][quote=JONJONAUG said:
Until recently I didn't know that Neil Gaiman wrote a pretty shitty short story about the character of Susan from Narnia that grossly misinterprets the few lines about her in the last Narnia book and features Aslan and the White Witch having violent sex, interspaced with Aslan eating Susan alive.

No, really.

Shit. I want to read that, if for no other reason than to see what exactly it was he was trying to say.

As I do I enjoy Gaiman, but I enjoy C.S. Lewis too.[/QUOTE]

It's some weird Whore of Babylon criticism on Narnia involving "The Problem with Susan" (title of the story).

It's fucked up... I'm glad he wrote it, simply because it exists, but if I ever meet him, the two things I'd say would be "You work is fantastic" and "What's the deal with Aslan and Jadis beastiality?"

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