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I've mentioned before in other threads that I've hit a wall in my life. For years, I'd been working towards becoming a teacher only to find out that I'm just not cut out for that. There was too much to juggle all at once and I was easily overwhelmed.

Since then, I feel like I've just given up. I don't know what I even want in my life anymore. I can't even answer what I want to do when someone asks. Or even an ideal place I'd like to be. Worse, my self-worth is at such an all-time low that I feel like I'm not even worth having as an employee, a friend, or a potential mate.

Recently, I came across this job listing:
http://www.careerbeacon.com/search/en/-1/1/3/-2,64/0/-1/-1,-1I/-1/-1/0/3/MB1401306741

I'd never really considered joining the armed forces before, but given that I have nothing else going for me anymore, it's tempting. It'd be regimented and very consistently organized (something I could desperately use in my life) and I wouldn't have to think much. Plus, it'd be - so far as I can tell - non-combative, which is definitely up my alley.

Obviously, my one concern is my mental instability. I have almost no confidence or self-worth, but have found that a consistent schedule has greatly helped me. And where else would you find a strongly regimented, consistent schedule than the flipping military?

Hell, for all I know, this might be exactly what I need to straighten me up. Plus, it'd certainly give me new experiences to work from for my writing.

What do you guys think?

I would start by carefull, honestly, reviewing whether or not you thought you could pass the inevitable psych evaluation.

--Patrick

Yeah, that's the biggest worry. To be fair, though, when I've been on the job and we're hit with a rush, I can dig deep and do what's needed. I can deal with the stress of having to work harder or faster. It's having to juggle too many things at once where I start to get overwhelmed. At least in something like this, I could focus on one task at a time. I assume, anyway.

I feel like, just from reading your posts, that you are bouncing too much from one thing to another, and the military is just one more bounce. No real advice, just an observation.

Dei said:

I feel like, just from reading your posts, that you are bouncing too much from one thing to another, and the military is just one more bounce. No real advice, just an observation.

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That's because I just have no clue what to do with my life anymore, as I said in this post.

I haven't looked it up, but in most military organizations every position is a possibility to be in a high-stress situation.

Also, telecommunications specialist is fancy talk for radio operator.

From that, and I'm being serious, you have to make the decision in YOU first that your country is worth laying you life on the line. Doesn't matter if it is NOT supposed to be a field operations job, every position in the military is subject to being deployed in one form or another. I'm not saying don't do it, but put some serious thought into making this major decision.

ThatNickGuy said:

That's because I just have no clue what to do with my life anymore, as I said in this post.

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I guess my point was more of a "Joining the military shouldn't be something you decide to do as you are randomly bouncing from one idea to the next."

A friend's experience makes me want to tell you to be careful here. I know you're not him, but the idea of joining the army because of a desire for structure terrifies me. This guy was directionless, and he thought the army would whip him into shape. He fell into a terrible depression--not in a combat zone, but at a desk job. It was a terrible environment for him. He doesn't talk about it much, except to say that he hates the military. Talk to anyone you can who's actually been there, is my only real aside here. I know you're looking for something right now, and I truly want you to find it. But I also don't want you to get stuck in a situation that will be bad for you. Good luck.

On the other hand, the army was exactly what my brother needed to get his life together.

The only caveat to that is that he did it when he was 18, and still in a position to be molded. I don't know what your exact age is, Nick, but at this point, I don't think structure(or any real personal change, for that matter) is going to originate from external forces.

Honestly, Nick, I think the best thing you could do is get into therapy or get on anti-depressants, or both. You have often talked about your bouts of severe depression and previous suicide attempts. I don't hear much about how you are getting help for that. I don't see joining the military as necessarily being productive for you. Sure being on a rigid, regimented schedule helps because then you have goals, deadlines, and expectations you have to live up to. That motivates a lot of people. It also gives you direction.
You don't have to be a school teacher to be a teacher. You could help tutor kids. You could be a yoga instructor. But any direction you go in will still be undermined by the severity of your depression unless you get a handle on it rather than letting it control your life. And the higher ranked guys in charge of you in the military don't give a shit if you lack confidence or have little self-worth or feel like you are overwhelmed. They'll tell you to suck it up, stop being a pussy, and use it against you in their form of motivation.

While I'm all in favour of joining the army (no, no real interest myself - my father was a soldier for almost 30 years though), I don't know/think it'll be the solution for you.
Yes, being forced into a regimen is good, and order and structure will probably do you good. But there are really only three things that can happen in the army for you, as I see it.
A) You end up deployed, which is a HIGHLY stressful situation, also as a comm officer. It's not because you're in, say, a base in Germany or Turkey (or Afghanistan or whatever, of course) that there's no danger. Direct "being shot" danger isn't all that big, but being away from all friends and family for months on end - we've got a few army wives/husbands/etc here, ask how they like it - and consider it's just as bad in different ways for the ones gones.
B) After a few months of rigourous training, you end up in a mostly-dead-end, mostly-uninteresting desk job - which will be no better than any desk job you might go and do outside of the army, and probably with worse prospects for growth.
C) You break during training/boot camp/etc. Some people need "tough love" and being told they just need to get it together. Some people need counseling. Some people need to have a path pointed out for them so they can just follow it. Some people want to find their own path. This is not, in any way, meant as a slight towards the army or non-soldiers, and the army does have good counseling and support - but you can imagine that's aimed more at those returning than on those who're only just starting out. I think you'd be "happy" for a while, as the sense of purposelessness is gone - but that you'll fall into an even bigger pit when you realize you're not the one deciding your fate and making your life anymore. You seem (but I may be projecting) to live too much in your head to let others make the big decisions for you - and you will have to accept others deciding for you in some cases in the army.

I certainly understand toying with the idea - I've considered regular armed forces, Foreign Legion (at least you're sure that no matter where you start, they will fix you up physically and you will do something worthwhile - if dangerous) and civil defense myself at one point or another in my ups and downs - but I doubt it's a decision that'll make you happier or more accepting/content in life in the long run; quite the opposite.

I know I'm struggling with depression myself and still haven't visited a ppsychologist or psychiatrist after, what, 5 years now? So hey, I'm not doing great in the "cleaning self up and getting help" department and I may come off hypocritical, but...Well, I do think you should find some help elsewhere first. At least to me, making life long, drastic decisions (such as joining up, or moving to another country, or switching careers to a completely unrelated field) in a position where you've got trouble figuring out who you are and what you want to do is dangerous. you may think that deciding will force you to like it - deal with what you've got - but that's not the way it works. Figuring out what you want is tough (I still have no clue), buit it has to come before this sort of decisions. Once/if you feel better about yourself and feel more balanced, and you still think the army would be a good idea because you want to give back to your country or protect American Oil or want to be Rambo (I'm kidding, I'm sorry - there really are plenty of very good and honourable reasons to join) - go for it!

Lastly, I'm going to try and lure @Docseverin in here. Amongst all of the forum, he's probably best placed as an authority in a conversation about the armed forces and self image issues and so forth.

As another FYI, my brother was a Coms officer and ended up being stationed in a base that got mortared regularly in Iraq, so that's something to keep in mind.

My ex- is in the military and I know from experience that they deal with mental health issues poorly. If this is the route that you decide to take, make sure you get treated with both therapy and medication quickly and consistently and get the medical personnel on our side. You'll need their support when dealing with the assholes who want to believe it's all in your head.

I wrote a big long post, but what it boils down to is do what makes you happy until it doesn't anymore. The military has enough issues with mental health, don't be a statistic and don't join unless you bring something to the table. They need assets not liabilities.

Nick, I admire your desire for this, but considering that most situations even in training can involve high-stress, high-demand, that there will be a psych evaluation, and that having a breakdown and depressive episodes can sneak up on you, this doesn't seem like a great idea.

Of course, if you're volunteering and you're not in the U.S., there's nothing to stop you from leaving either.

I'll join the chorus: Nick, don't do anything to think it'll "fix" you. Do what you enjoy doing, and do what you have to do to get by in life.

I would echo most of the concerns here, and I would also agree with you that it may be a surprisingly healthy environment for you but man, it's hard to know isn't it? What do you have to sign up for? Is it like the US where it's set time like 3 or 7 years or something?

So I sometimes feel the same way in that I don't really know what I want to do with my life. There's really no one job or anything that I want to do. I can't really say that I have any passions of motivations. So instead of trying to think of what I want to do job wise I try to think about what I want out of life experience-wise and what realistic steps I need to take to accomplish that.

Maybe don't try to h think about being a teacher or a wrestler or a radio military person guy. Do you want to share your knowledge with others? Do you want to serve your country? What experiences do you want?

Speaking from experience, the military environment is terrible for someone with mental health issues.

During my year of national service in Taiwan's armed forces, I saw lots of guys suffering from mental problems, either newly developed in the military, or pre-existing and exacerbated by the military environment.

Your superior officers will yell at you. They will belittle you. They will make seemingly unreasonable demands of you and then punish you when you don't meet these demands. They will punish you for stuff other people did. They will make you do stuff you don't like doing, just for the sake of toughening you up.

And that's not even getting into what the enemy's going to do to you.

I have to agree with everyone else here, Nick. I don't think this is a good idea.

What about civilian jobs with the Forces?