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Those damn ewoks

Jul 4, 2009#1

Alucard

On a whim this evening I was switching around and was catching the last few minutes of Return of the Jedi on Spike TV.

I still can't believe it that the most technological advanced regime in the galaxy at that time got pawned by a bunch of
little freaking ewoks.

Jul 4, 2009#2

filmfanatic

PhantomShadow said:
On a whim this evening I was switching around and was catching the last few minutes of Return of the Jedi on Spike TV.

I still can't believe it that the most technological advanced regime in the galaxy at that time got pawned by a bunch of
little freaking ewoks.

Blame the toy companies. It was originally supposed to be the Wookies owning them, but the toy companies which George Lucas had a contract with something wanted cute, fuzzy and sellable in the film.

Jul 4, 2009#3

Denbrought

PhantomShadow said:
On a whim this evening I was switching around and was catching the last few minutes of Return of the Jedi on Spike TV.

I still can't believe it that the most technological advanced regime in the galaxy at that time got pawned by a bunch of
little freaking ewoks.

But you see, the had sticks and stones.

Jul 4, 2009#4

Scarlet Varlet

The United States of America was defeated by what amounted to an agricultural country when they withdrew from Viet Nam.

Sometimes all your tech and all your weapons and all your clones and all your dark side of the force can't see the bubble gum on the underside of your foot.

Jul 4, 2009#5

Denbrought

Scarlet Varlet said:
The United States of America was defeated by what amounted to an agricultural country when they withdrew from Viet Nam.

Sometimes all your tech and all your weapons and all your clones and all your dark side of the force can't see the bubble gum on the underside of your foot.

The difference is that if the Imp. Forces had used napalm to clear out the forest, they would have won

Aaah roasted ewok.

Jul 4, 2009#6

Scarlet Varlet

I'm curious how they got away with Chewbacca doing an obvious Tarzan.

Jul 4, 2009#7

It was silly, but those soldiers were way out of their element and the Ewoks were. They had the homefield advantage. They knew Endor's woods like the back of their ha...er, paws.

Jul 4, 2009#8

ThatGrinningIdiot!

Denbrought said:
Scarlet Varlet said:

The United States of America was defeated by what amounted to an agricultural country when they withdrew from Viet Nam.

Sometimes all your tech and all your weapons and all your clones and all your dark side of the force can't see the bubble gum on the underside of your foot.

Click to expand...

The difference is that if the Imp. Forces had used napalm to clear out the forest, they would have won

Aaah roasted ewok.

Agent Orange tried, and it failed. And you don't make enough napalm to destroy the forests of 'Nam.

Jul 4, 2009#9

BlackCrossCrusader said:
And you don't make enough napalm to destroy the forests of 'Nam.

Pfft. Not with THAT attitude, you don't.

Jul 4, 2009#10

ThatGrinningIdiot!

ThatNickGuy said:
BlackCrossCrusader said:

And you don't make enough napalm to destroy the forests of 'Nam.

Click to expand...

Pfft. Not with THAT attitude, you don't.

As a genuine pyromaniac, you have no idea how much that statement hurts me. :waah:

Jul 4, 2009#11

Frankie Williamson

Scarlet Varlet said:
The United States of America was defeated by what amounted to an agricultural country when they withdrew from Viet Nam.

Sometimes all your tech and all your weapons and all your clones and all your dark side of the force can't see the bubble gum on the underside of your foot.

If the Vietnamese had been nothing but primitive spear wielding midgets, I doubt Vietnam would have been the issue it was.

Jul 4, 2009#12

ThatGrinningIdiot!

Frankie said:
Scarlet Varlet said:

The United States of America was defeated by what amounted to an agricultural country when they withdrew from Viet Nam.

Sometimes all your tech and all your weapons and all your clones and all your dark side of the force can't see the bubble gum on the underside of your foot.

Click to expand...

If the Vietnamese had been nothing but primitive spear wielding midgets, I doubt Vietnam would have been the issue it was.

Acting what was unexpected of you can bring alot of "WTF?!" moments, in which the enemy spends time pondering your reason behind an inane move while you, in return, murder them.

That is the only defense I will give to the ewoks.

Jul 4, 2009#13

Scarlet Varlet

BlackCrossCrusader said:
Frankie said:

Scarlet Varlet said:

The United States of America was defeated by what amounted to an agricultural country when they withdrew from Viet Nam.

Sometimes all your tech and all your weapons and all your clones and all your dark side of the force can't see the bubble gum on the underside of your foot.

Click to expand...

If the Vietnamese had been nothing but primitive spear wielding midgets, I doubt Vietnam would have been the issue it was.

Click to expand...

Acting what was unexpected of you can bring alot of "WTF?!" moments, in which the enemy spends time pondering your reason behind an inane move while you, in return, murder them.

That is the only defense I will give to the ewoks.

The Ewoks won because they were all doping, like these bears.

Jul 4, 2009#14

Mr. Lawface

Ewoks are all just Drop Bears in disguise.

Jul 5, 2009#15

Shawn

The Empire underestimated the ewoks during their initial takeover of the planet. In fact it wasn't so much of a takeover as just setting up a single base and manning it with forces to keep an eye on things. The ewok attack on the ground occured at the same time as the space battle above, so their emergency troops and airborne assaults were a bit pre-occupied. The Imperials on the ground were caught off guard by the surprise attack due to their belief that they had already captured the rebel strike team and were not expecting additional forces. Plus the Ewoks are apparently very capable of designing and setting off super-log-death-traps and even seem capable of learning basic control functions of imperial vehicles after a bit of experimentation.

I'm going to go with it's "unlikely" the ewoks should have won the fight. But not impossible given the circumstances. I can suspend my disbelief enough to appreciate the irony of the battle.

Jul 5, 2009#16

Silver Jelly

The imperial troops on endor, as they believed they were in a safe place where nothing ever happened, were high all the time.

EDIT:

Also, their arms went kind of numb after all that holoporn they had to fill their empty hours with.

Jul 5, 2009#17

Veteran

All the Ewoks had just had all their crazy polytheistic dreams come true when their giant golden God descended upon them. Filled with religious zeal, I think the Ewoks could've taken a Sith temple, never mind a small Imperial outpost.

Jul 5, 2009#18

North_Ranger

Jihaad Ewoks?

Damn, now I gotta draw that... :rofl:

Jul 5, 2009#19

B

bhamv2

Did anyone else think this thread would be about Gasbandit?

Jul 5, 2009#20

North_Ranger

*raises hand*

Jul 5, 2009#21

@Li3n

Apocalypse Endor

Don't mess with the Ewoks man.... they're vicious...

Also, the tree's on Endor are obviously made out of something harder then steel, seeing how they crush that walker so easily...

Jul 5, 2009#22

HCGLNS

In contrast to their cuddly exterior, Ewoks are a race of viscious battle hardened warriors after their centuries of war with the Duloks.

Jul 5, 2009#23

Mr_Chaz

Well lets be honest, storm troopers aren't exactly the most competent of soldiers, how many shots did they fire in the trilogy?...And how many hit?

Pretty shoddy really. Even a load of cuddly bears could have beaten them...And did.

Jul 5, 2009#24

HCGLNS

When you consider that the Ewok race was created when Chuck Norris planted one of his chest hairs in the soil of Endor, it's fairly clear to see that the Imperial soldiers had no chance.

Jul 5, 2009#25

Bowielee

I had no problem accepting the ewoks defeating the imperial ground forces. It was just one little base against thousands of little jungle commandos, and some of the rebellions best soldiers.

It's not like the ground troops on endor expected a full on assault.

It would have been ten times cooler if it were wookies, though.

Jul 5, 2009#26

Bubble181

What we don't see in the movie is the half massacre sacrifice of all those other thousand ewoks being mowed down by the imperial forces :-P

Jul 5, 2009#27

AshburnerX

Or the ensuring Endor holocaust once the fragments of the destroyed Death Star begin colliding with the planet.

Jul 5, 2009#28

Philosopher B.

Ayo you gotta watch out for them ewoks, mothafuckas is creepy.

LOOK AT ITS EYES. :Leyla:

Jul 5, 2009#29

Mr. Lawface

@Li3n said:
Apocalypse Endor

In the cantina, the veteran says that he hasn't slept well since Endor, but what keeps him going is the idea that the second Death Star's debris rained down on the moon and killed many Ewoks. His fellow patrons crush his last happy thought about Endor by revealing that as a myth, that most of the debris was vaporized during the violent explosion of the Death Star and the rest was intercepted by the Rebels, preventing any harm to the forest moon.

Jul 5, 2009#30

AshburnerX

Mr. Lawface said:
[quote="@Li3n":8qmvzkct]Apocalypse Endor

In the cantina, the veteran says that he hasn't slept well since Endor, but what keeps him going is the idea that the second Death Star's debris rained down on the moon and killed many Ewoks. His fellow patrons crush his last happy thought about Endor by revealing that as a myth, that most of the debris was vaporized during the violent explosion of the Death Star and the rest was intercepted by the Rebels, preventing any harm to the forest moon.

[/quote:8qmvzkct]

There is NO WAY that the remnants of the Rebel fleet, which amounted to a handful of ships, managed to destroy the incoming debris from a man made object the size of a MOON. Not only would they need to resupply their fighters and capital ships... not only would they have trouble manning enough forces to take out the literally billions of fragments big enough to not burn up on re-entry... but they would have needed to do it all within a few minutes/hours of the end of the battle.

I CALL SHENANIGANS!

Jul 5, 2009#31

Frankie Williamson

AshburnerX said:
Mr. Lawface said:

\"@Li3n\":t25n03j8 said:

Apocalypse Endor

Click to expand...

In the cantina, the veteran says that he hasn't slept well since Endor, but what keeps him going is the idea that the second Death Star's debris rained down on the moon and killed many Ewoks. His fellow patrons crush his last happy thought about Endor by revealing that as a myth, that most of the debris was vaporized during the violent explosion of the Death Star and the rest was intercepted by the Rebels, preventing any harm to the forest moon.

Click to expand...

Click to expand...

There is NO WAY that the remnants of the Rebel fleet, which amounted to a handful of ships, managed to destroy the incoming debris from a man made object the size of a MOON. Not only would they need to resupply their fighters and capital ships... not only would they have trouble manning enough forces to take out the literally billions of fragments big enough to not burn up on re-entry... but they would have needed to do it all within a few minutes/hours of the end of the battle.

I CALL SHENANIGANS![/quote:t25n03j8]

Bad writing in a Star Wars EU novel. NEVER!

Jul 5, 2009#32

Bubble181

AshburnerX said:
Mr. Lawface said:

\"@Li3n\":2ue9k6mg said:

Apocalypse Endor

Click to expand...

In the cantina, the veteran says that he hasn't slept well since Endor, but what keeps him going is the idea that the second Death Star's debris rained down on the moon and killed many Ewoks. His fellow patrons crush his last happy thought about Endor by revealing that as a myth, that most of the debris was vaporized during the violent explosion of the Death Star and the rest was intercepted by the Rebels, preventing any harm to the forest moon.

Click to expand...

Click to expand...

There is NO WAY that the remnants of the Rebel fleet, which amounted to a handful of ships, managed to destroy the incoming debris from a man made object the size of a MOON. Not only would they need to resupply their fighters and capital ships... not only would they have trouble manning enough forces to take out the literally billions of fragments big enough to not burn up on re-entry... but they would have needed to do it all within a few minutes/hours of the end of the battle.

I CALL SHENANIGANS![/quote:2ue9k6mg]

The guys claiming they did that have just been drinking the koolaid.

Jul 5, 2009#33

Just Me

The Endor Holocaust totally researched: http://www.theforce.net/SWTC/holocaust.html

Jul 5, 2009#34

bhamv2 said:
Did anyone else think this thread would be about Gasbandit?

Yes, but I never did get to see the infamous picture.

Jul 6, 2009#35

North_Ranger

Because people need a little pain in their lives:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx3rSNzOAMM:2ds7n8ne][/youtube:2ds7n8ne]
For some reason, "one big happy family" always makes me think of the Manson Family... or something less cuddly and more creepy. Must be all the furries jumping around... nekkid.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLt0GaIBMIs&feature=related:2ds7n8ne][/youtube:2ds7n8ne]

Jul 6, 2009#36

Shawn

I watched that show as a kid. Loved it...then. I watched a few reruns on scifi 10 some years ago. Gawddamn it's sooo bad. It just didn't age well.

Droids was halfway decent though.

Jul 6, 2009#37

HoboNinja

I fucking loved the ewok cartoons when I was a kid...

They had these kick ass white vhs cases for them that were like way more badass than like the shitty disney ones. They were hard plastic and looked like just bad ass. I can't really describe them in any other way than bad ass.

Jul 6, 2009#38

Philosopher B.

I remember those. I watched the Droid and Ewok VHS tapes like all the time, drove my older sister nuts.

Jul 6, 2009#39

phil

The ewoks movies was my introduction to the Star Wars universe. Fuckin' love those guys.

Jul 6, 2009#40

@Li3n

AshburnerX said:
There is NO WAY that the remnants of the Rebel fleet, which amounted to a handful of ships, managed to destroy the incoming debris from a man made object the size of a MOON. Not only would they need to resupply their fighters and capital ships... not only would they have trouble manning enough forces to take out the literally billions of fragments big enough to not burn up on re-entry... but they would have needed to do it all within a few minutes/hours of the end of the battle.

I CALL SHENANIGANS!

Ahem: "The explosion of the station's hypermatter core created a minor wormhole at its collapse."

Canon >>>> reality! So there!

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