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Tucker Max/Maddox

Sep 25, 2009#1

Cuyval Dar

I was reading through his website and Maddox's again, and found this gem:

[STRIKE]Friendly Fire[/STRIKE]The Frosty Susan

These are funny, but karma being the bitch that she is, my activities eventually caught up with me. The summer before I started law school, I was seeing a girl in Miami named "Courtney."
She was incredibly hot--one of those girls you have a physical reaction too as soon as you see her.
One time we were fucking doggy style, incredible sex, and right as I was about to come I pulled back too far and my dick came out. I didn't realize it, and as I thrust forward again, instead of going back into her vagina my dick stuck in her ass crack (NOT into her asshole, but her crack, between her butt cheeks, like a hot dog...sort of).
I was leaning over her, my face right above the back of her head, and I looked down at my dick right as I hit climax...and shot nut INTO MY OWN EYE.
A direct hit, right into my wide-open eye. I didn't even see it coming...literally.
Almost immediately, I developed a personal appreciation for how much come stings. That shit BURNED. It took me a minute to wash it out, but the sting, and the redness, stayed for a good 4 or 5 hours.
Fuck you karma.

Anyway, this thread is for sharing your favorite Tucker or Maddox stories.

Sep 25, 2009#2

@Li3n

Cuyval Dar said:
Anyway, this thread is for sharing your favorite Tucker or Maddox stories.

Or mocking Calleja...

Sep 25, 2009#3

Gurpel

wouldnt semen, being basically a saline solution, not burn the eye?

quick someone test it out

Sep 25, 2009#4

Cuyval Dar

@Li3n;262906][quote=Cuyval Dar said:
Anyway, this thread is for sharing your favorite Tucker or Maddox stories.

Or mocking Calleja...[/QUOTE]
Well, I was being not so subtle about it.

---------- Post added at 06:25 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:24 AM ----------

Gurpel said:
wouldnt semen, being basically a saline solution, not burn the eye?

quick someone test it out

His semen, like the rest of his body, is 99% alcohol.

Sep 25, 2009#5

Shannow

:shots:

Sep 25, 2009#6

Ravenpoe

Cuyval Dar said:
His semen, like the rest of his body, is 99% alcohol.

And 1% picante sauce.

Sep 27, 2009#7

EpicEpileptic

Tucker Max's "The Absinthe Doughnuts" story is quite possible the funniest thing that I can remember reading in that book. Man I have to read it again now.

Sep 27, 2009#8

Bowielee

I can confirm that, yes, it does in fact burn like a son of a bitch.

Sep 27, 2009#9

The Lovely Boehner

hey remember when he released his movie that was gonna be his magnum opus and the funniest thing ever and he self-released it instead of going through the studios since it was going to make him so much money?

yeah, me neither.

Oct 5, 2009#10

Calleja

It does burn, believe me.

And yeah, I read the tucker max story a few months ago and punched my fist in the air... that's like almost exactly how it happened to me, so there, it happens. Ha!

Oct 5, 2009#11

Cuyval Dar

Calleja said:
It does burn, believe me.

And yeah, I read the tucker max story a few months ago and punched my fist in the air... that's like almost exactly how it happened to me, so there, it happens. Ha!

Don't ever say that I never try to find a way to make you feel better, Cayaya.

Oct 5, 2009#12

JONJONAUG

Gurpel said:
wouldnt semen, being basically a saline solution, not burn the eye?

quick someone test it out

Semen irritates the eyes, even in trace amounts.

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