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I'm not talking about any near-death experiences, although those can be thrown in there too. I'm talking about a moment when you looked around yourself, at something you were doing, and just thanked who/whatever that you were alive to be experiencing it?

For me, one that stands out the most is when I was hiking the approach trail to the Appalachian Trail. Even though it was the most physical exercise I'd done in a long time, just cresting the hills, listening to the sounds around me, smelling the mountain air... magic.

Hmm... there have been a few big moments, but I'll go with the most recent. Sorry, it's a little morbid. :\

I had just gotten back from England back in '08. I saw my aunt that week, whose husband had drowned at the beach. The night after we talked, I went out with my boyfriend. I kept thinking about how lost my aunt looked and how lost I would feel if anything bad ever happened to Jake. I just grabbed him and hugged him and cried, so happy for all the moments we've had. Any time I feel like I'm ignoring him or putting something stupid/unimportant before him or any of my loved ones, I think about how fragile life is and how I could lost my most important people in a second, without any warning or explanation.

Sad stuff:
I just drop my friend off from a long night of gaming (my GM) and driving home around 3-4am. I cross this bridge and this car jumped a median that is OVER 10 feet wide and plow right through the passenger seat and crash into another car. I was so thankful that my friend who was sitting there NOT more than 5 minutes and dropped him off. He could have been there and died cause there was nothing left on that side. I manage to only go with a busted back (which cause pain today once in a while) but I was glad to be alive.

Good stuff:
I went to a cruise in the Meds 2 years ago. When we landed in Germany and got our first stamp on the passport, my wife eyes lit up. This was her first time to EVER be out of the country and she was excited to go to another country. When we were in Rome and at the Vatican City, she was so happy to see many beautiful things that she never have in real life before (only in pictures) I was the happiest man on earth to be able to give a gift like that to my wife and felt alive.

The Paul McCartney concert.

Quite literally, one of the best nights of my entire existence.

Calleja said:

The Paul McCartney concert.

Quite literally, one of the best nights of my entire existence.

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I knew that was coming.

Right now! I'm a new father. Say hello to María Gabriela:

Congratulations!

Yay Cog! Congrats my man!

Every year when the weather turns a little warm and I get that first wiff of summertime beach salt air. It does something to me that I cannot explain.

Congratulations, mon ami! I'll joining the club soon

Congratulations Cog!

Cog, she's gorgeous!

Calleja's made me think of another one--any really good live concert. Watching my brother play and be so happy with his career makes me feel very optimistic about life.

To be alive near death style: When I was almost knifed from behind by an abusive prick and wouldn't have seen it coming if it weren't for his abusive prick wife screaming at me. Almost getting stabbed in the back really makes you feel pleased for not having a knife in your back.

To be alive triumphantly: Probably during a hiking trip in the Alberta badlands I took with an ex-girlfriend, we hiked all around Drumheller and ended up setting up our tent on top of a bluff. It was an amazing day and a spectacular night.

Yeah, I never heard the knife story, but I most emphatically get where you are coming from on that...

I'm still waiting to experience a thankful-to-be-alive moment.

Standing on a frozen lake at the age of 13, I looked at the night moon shining through the cracks created by clouds in the night sky. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and I was thankful I was able to be alive to see it.

When I'm playing ice hockey and all my cares in the world melt away. It's just me, and my team, and the puck. I love breathing in deep the cold of the rink and the reflective surface of fresh ice.

Chazwozel said:

When I'm playing ice hockey and all my cares in the world melt away. It's just me, and my team, and the puck. I love breathing in deep the cold of the rink and the reflective surface of fresh ice.

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I feel much the same way when I'm writing.

Sort of a near-death experience:

It was winter. I was 17 or 18 and on my way home from work at about 10 pm. Where I grew up was pretty rural. There were some roads that didn't have streetlights including this one that I was driving on. It had snowed and the road was a mess. I was in a hurry because my boyfriend was going to call me at home and didn't feel like dealing with his crap if I wasn't there (he was a controlling ass and I was a fool), so I was speeding. My car started to spin as I entered an S-curve. I couldn't straighten out of the spin. My headlights were lighting the tops of the snowy pine trees on both sides of the road, so everything looked golden-white. I think I was screaming "SHIT!!!" but I don't remember for sure. Suddenly my car hit something and all I could think of was that I was dead. I didn't hear anything. Then I realized I had stopped and was on the side of the road looking across the street at the trees. The back of my car was in a snow bank. Right next to me was a telephone pole. I had missed hitting it by less than a foot. I have never been so glad to be alive in all of my life.

I can't really think of one moment where I though "man I am glad to be alive". But even with that I am quite happy to be alive and have never wished I was dead. And maybe the mere fact that I have never really wanted to die may mean that my whole life could count as a moment.

Less of an intense feeling, but I feel a quiet contentment every time I get to stargaze. I can only do this in winter and late fall... MAYBE early spring. Otherwise it's miserably hot. But staring up at them makes me forget everything. I guess I don't think about anything, even how grateful I am to be alive, but it's still a nice feeling.

I was going through some self-destructive tendencies earlier this year. Then when I had my health-scare, it opened my eyes up that I wanted to live.

Hiking around the Colorado Springs area. Something about the trees and mountains that does something to me. It's unbelievably calming and invigorating at the same time. I had a similar experience sitting on the beach at sunset near Monterey, CA. My wife and I had the beach to ourselves. We could see seals swimming about 20 yds out. Great night.

Near-death:
I was in a pretty serious car-accident when I was 16. It took me almost 3 years of depression afterwards before I started feeling a desire to live. Up to that point I hung up on guilt and "what ifs" and "why not me" sort of thinking. When that burden was removed I was a changed person. I physically felt lighter. Life has been different ever since. I am thankful for nearly every day I've had since.

Oftentimes when I find myself caught out in the rain I'm struck with an incredible gratitude at being alive. There's something sobering about the rain. I went out walking in it this past monday (I think I told the story already here somewhere) and just wandering through a trail with a friend, splashing in puddles and jumping into ponds was one of those moments where I'm glad to be alive.

Similarly, there's a landmark here called signal hill. It's one of the two bits of land that protect the harbor that St. John's was built around. It's named signal hill because it's where lookouts used to be stationed to keep watch for ships on the horizon. They would fire a cannon when ships were approaching, and raise those alphabet-flag-things to send messages down to the town which couldn't see very far out to sea. Well, anyhow, there's a bit of a trail that goes down around the cliffs that drop into the sea, and the wind is powerful, blowing hard enough to keep it barren of anything but brush and shrubs. More than once I can remember being up there, and feeling myself alive. Once I went up there to stargaze with a girl, even though you can hardly ever see any stars there. We found two rocks that provided some shelter and nestled down there, talking and listening to the wind. But other times ... just to stand up and be buffeted by the salt air ... and if you wait long enough for the sun to rise ... there's nothing else quite like it.

I think my only near-death was when I was 11 or 12, and I was so concerned about my little sister being safe that I didn't realize until after that I could've died, so I didn't get that "man, I'm thankful" sense.

TELL THE WHOLE STORY

Bad:
I was driving back from Airsoft with some girl friends. It was pouring rain that day so I was driving carefully on the highway. I was in the third lane from the left. Suddenly, an SUV ahead of me in the fast lane hydroplaned into the center divider. Then it spun and actually went airborne. It rolled over several times and came to a stop in the lane right next to me. I missed hitting it by a foot. If it had actually rolled into my lane I could not have avoided it; the wet road would have made it impossible to brake in time and there was a car next to me in the right lane. I was kinda shaken up for the rest of the day, but I noticed that my food tasted better.

Good:
This might sound silly, but it was during my physical agility test for the San Diego Harbor Police. A year before that, I was fat. Not just chubby, but a real fatass. I spent a year getting into shape and preparing for a career in the police. I'd already passed the written test but was still pretty nervous about the agility test. It was basically a simulated suspect chase: I had to run down and back up a long staircase, climb over three walls, and sprint 400 yards, all within 2 and a half minutes. I saw some people, even some cops from other departments, fail the test because they couldn't make it over the last wall. My turn came and I actually did it. I was completely blown at the end, my legs hurt, and I could barely work up enough wind to speak, but that was an awesome feeling.

I've always had vivid, wonderful dreams I can fly, so the moment for me would be when I went skydiving. My instructors peeled away after I pulled the parachute, so I just remember hovering five thousand feet above the ground, adrenaline surging through my body, laughing like a maniac because I felt alive, and simply awe-struck at seeing the green, rolling hills for miles around. I just remember thinking, "This must be how a god sees the world..."

There's a lot of little moments, too. A more recent one was this last weekend when my father and I played a game of RBI Baseball on the NES we've had since I was three years old. We've played this game literally more than anybody else in the world, and I have memories from childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood of all these games. While we were playing, it suddenly occurred to me that my dad's nearly sixty years old now and one day, sooner than I'd like, he'll be gone, and the game will be over. I paused the game and gave him a hug, and savored every second of it.

Calleja said:

TELL THE WHOLE STORY

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Me?

In the early or mid 90s there was a series of blizzards one winter that had snow caked over everything. Shoveling it put it higher than our cars, mailbox--not just piles, but a solid layer over five feet (accumulated over several storms, so it's not like the area shut down or anything). Fun times. When spring came, the snow was melting pretty slowly until one day when this heavy rainstorm came in. My sister and I went outside to find our sleds, which had gotten lost and frozen under the snow, and we found them in mostly-melted ice in the middle of the hill leading down from my backyard. The yard, the hill, which led into the neighbor's driveway, and beyond that a steep slow going down the mountain, had become a passage of water all around us. We thought this was pretty cool, like a "river" going through the yard.

There must have been a downed tree or something blocking up the rain flow way up the hill from the backyard. As we were getting the sleds out of the ice, we heard this loud CRACK and then rumbling. We looked up the hill just as this monstrous wave of water came crashing through our backyard above us. My sister screamed and I started shouting at her to get back, and as the wave hit the hill we split up, her moving to another part of the slope, and me by this thick tree stump. The wave crashed down the slope, slapped my sled out of the ice and carried it down the hill. We waited a couple minutes for the torrent of water to die down again and went back inside the house.

Right the hell now. I feel great! But sleepy. But also great.

So my step-cousin just died last night. He was 39. He's leaving behind his wife and 4 year old son. This whole being alive thing feels pretty good right now.

Sitting here, drinking water, listening to dead air over my radio (meaning no calls are going out), watching the sun set over the Forest River... life is pretty sweet.

Seeing my name in the Acknowledgements page of "Order 66" by Karen Traviss. Every time I see my name on the cover of a book. When I talk to someone special.

In those few moments after having sex that the fog of being a man clears and I regain my humanity.

Also most any night that ends up eating at an IHOP equivalent with friends at 4 in the morning.

Happiest moment to be alive, gonna be kind of sappy to some, the day I got married, we've been together now for over 21 years and still growing as a couple, makes me happy to be alive each day. Also, the day that our daughter was born, supposed to be a c-section @ noon, instead my wife's water broke at 3am (not surprisingly the same time of day that she woke me up to tell me she was pregnant) and we had a 25 mile drive to the hospital, but 4 hours later she came completely into our lives and been happy since.

Near death, hiking in the Ouachita Mountains along the Arkansas-Oklahoma border, 50 or so degrees in afternoon, no real weather change expected for 48 or so hours, went to bed, woke up the next morning to -40 wind chill and snow all over. I actually entered the middle stages of hypothermia and was having hallucinations (pink and purple flowers growing in the snow is one I remember), my hair actually froze and I still can't feel everything on the knuckles and backs of my hands to this day. We wouldn't have made it if we hadn't checked into a ranger station the day before and filed a hiking plan, so they knew about where to find us, and we were able to get back to a safer place without losing anyone.

For all the bad memories and emotions I now associate with her, the last moment I can recall feeling truly most grateful to be alive was a very late night laying on a hill watching the stars with my then-girlfriend.
Corny sounding and predictable, maybe. But true. I really can't say I've felt quite like that before or since, and I hope that changes.

Nothing corny about it, CH.

One of the times that stands out for me was back in California, staying out late at night with a girl I was crushing HARD on at the time (but who had no interest). We were good friends, though, and one night out at her house, in the boondocks, we stayed out on her trampoline, looking at the clear night sky at the stars and discussing philosophy.

I'd love to be doing that again - haven't had a good discussion like that in years....

Near Death: I had a botched tonsilectomy operation when I was about 14 and the wounds that they sealed got infected and slowly bled over the course of a few days. I couldn't taste it and had no idea that I was basically bleeding straight into my stomach until one day I gagged on a giant blood clot and puked blood all over. By the time I got to the hospital I was going into shock from blood loss (coughing up that yummy blood jello ripped open what little was stemming the blood flow) and to make matters worse they were severely short staffed that night and the doctors had to press my dad into service. My memories start getting a little fuzzy at this point due to my blood pressure being dangerously low. I remember my dad frantically doing whatever he was told, I remember the doctors trying to get an IV into me but every vein kept collapsing on them and I also remember that I basically had one chance (especially if they couldn't get a blood transfusion going quickly). They had to hold a swab saturated in adrenaline over the tonsil wound for about a minute to stem the bleeding. That was fun... I think I gagged and threw up in the first 5 seconds of the first attempt. I remember a horrible feeling that I was going to die... and I could see it in my dad's eyes too and I was impressed he was keeping it together as well as he was. They shoved that swab down my mouth again and I managed somehow to keep it there for the minute they needed. I think I blacked out because I don't remember anything else until the morning... and I had never felt so thankful to be alive ever.

On a happier note... when my son was born two years ago... that moment was something that will probably never be matched. I can't even begin to describe what it felt like in words (other parents here probably know what I'm blabbering about though).

Azurephoenix said:

On a happier note... when my son was born two years ago... that moment was something that will probably never be matched. I can't even begin to describe what it felt like in words (other parents here probably know what I'm blabbering about though).

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Yes, yes I do.

Feeling weird when thinking of this topic. Now I keep remembering moments where I almost died, and it not phasing me with any sense of "wow, I'm alive". I would always just laugh it off. And I wonder if I just don't appreciate anything.

:/

Azurephoenix said:

On a happier note... when my son was born two years ago... that moment was something that will probably never be matched. I can't even begin to describe what it felt like in words (other parents here probably know what I'm blabbering about though).

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Oddly enough, when both of my kids were born I was more glad they were okay and didn't think too much about being thankful that I was alive. Especially when my daughter was born since she got stuck (shoulder dystocia) on the way out. We went from having 5 people in the room to having about 15 people in the room including one delivery nurse who jumped up on the bed with me to help get the baby out. They were preparing to do an emergency c-section if they couldn't manipulate her shoulder the right way. Once she was out, she didn't have a good apgar score the first time they accessed her and her blood sugar was out of whack. I didn't even get to see her until about 10 minutes after she was born.