I think I'm more distracted by how much larger her arms are than the President's.
--Patrick
[Funny] Funny Pictures! (Keep em clean, folks!)
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--Patrick
Truth be told,Keanus Reeves is the only actor I want to spend the day with.
Really? He's like, not even on my top hundred list. Mostly because I did not care for him in "Much Ado about Nothing". Whoever told him he would be great in a Shakespeare play must have been nuttier than ...something. Its 3 AM, what do you expect from me in terms of comparison jokes?
Yet another reason why hippos are horrifying.
They have to be the cutest killers on the planet.
Lol I can think of more dignified ways to die! A sucking chest wound is natures way of saying 'slow down'
figmentPez
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Another reason why you should always use freshly grated nutmeg.
Ooooo, that stuff's so good, especially on steamed fresh spinach.
North_Ranger
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You'll have to fight me first, buddy.
He is mine.
That'd be awesome. After spending a day with him, you'd suddenly know more about pretty much everything. Especially what they say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is.
Calm down, we could hang out with him together.
That would be my first question to him.
DIBS ON OSWALT! He is one of the coolest celebrity nerds EVER!
It's probably less to do with his acting ability (which isn't really a great gauge for whether you should want to spend time with someone--if you're using this for the friends you keep complaining about, stop hanging out with them
), but because of how he is off-camera. From what I gather, he has chronic depression that he isn't getting treated because according to him "Other people need to be happy to live. I don't."REALLY?! That's the sort of thing that angsty comic book anti-heroes say! Its weird for me now knowing that Ted Logan has depression.It's probably less to do with his acting ability (which isn't really a great gauge for whether you should want to spend time with someone--if you're using this for the friends you keep complaining about, stop hanging out with them
He's had it pretty rough, for instance:
Compared to most celebrities of his calibre, he leads a simple life and is quite generous. He gave away most of his profits from the Matrix, for example (around $75 million he could have made, that he negotiated to be paid out to the effects artists instead)
Some interesting Keanu Reeves stories:
http://www.ranker.com/list/the-7-greatest-_true_-keanu-reeves-stories-ever-told/joanne
North_Ranger
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Does this mean it's no longer kosher to joke about him having the acting capacity of a cinderblock?
figmentPez
Staff member
I ALMOST MADE THIS JOKE
Butt you changed your mind?
Oh god that hurt to actually say. I don't know how you do it ThatNickGuy
He does it very ass-uredly?
Enough of this cheeky nonsense, put these puns behind you and stop making asses of yourselves. I'm sorry for sounding like I have a stick up my pooper, but on the hole, these jokes aren't funny. After all, are these what you want to leave to your posterior?He does it very ass-uredly?
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