The Wedding Challenge

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Gusto

Gusto

Here is the challenge before me:

Last week I got invited to a wedding. It was a wedding that I didn't expect to be invited to, because I only see the couple once a year or so, even though we were super close a few years back. We still make time to get our whole group together every Christmas though, and I think that's what got us all the invite. I ALSO wasn't expecting the invite because their wedding is on February 23rd and that's like 5 weeks away. I've never been invited to a wedding before but from what I understand that's SUPER short notice.

Here's where the challenege comes in. I've been kinda moaning about it here and there over the last couple days, but on Sunday, the girl I'd been seeing for ~6 months or so bascially told me it wasn't worknig out and she had started seeing soemthing else. This wasn't really a surprise, and we weren't exclusive, so no wrong was done on her part really. She just kinda made it seem like she wasn't in a stable enough lifestyle to support a relationship, and then suddenly she was in one. Anyway.

THE CHALLENGE is that now I'm a single dude who's got to get over his hurt incredibly fast because I've gotta find a date for this wedding. My best option is to just check the +1 option and hope someone agrees to go with me in the next 5 week, but ideally, I'll find someone before RSVPing, which I should do sometime this week.

So right now, I'm thinking of asking her best friend, who both understands exactly where I'm coming from with this situation and sympathizes, and with whom I have had a lot of [clean, wholesome] fun in the past. Other friends of mine have also said they want to try to set me up with someone, which I'm cool with, but seems like it might be too slow a process to depend upon for my 5 week deadline.

Thoughts, advice, criticism, aghast outrage and hugs are welcome!
 
Espy

Espy

I am always aghast in my outrage.

Also, go for the +1, but don't take a friend. You got 5 weeks to woo some fine female. So get to it.
 
Gusto

Gusto

Espy said:
I am always aghast in my outrage.

Also, go for the +1, but don't take a friend. You got 5 weeks to woo some fine female. So get to it.
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I don't really have any female friends I'd be comfortable inviting at this point. Anyone who I know currently and would be an option for inviting would also be an option for wooing, potentially.
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

I honestly don't see why you "should" bring someone. Go alone, or check the +1 and just see whether or not you've got someone to take along. If not, there's always just bringing a friend.

Never understood that - it seems to be an American thing. Being single isn't horrible, or against social mores, and you shouldn't feel bad (you're allowed to feel bad for being dumped, of course - hugs!). What on earth is wrong with going alone? A wedding's a great place to meet new people, too.
 
Gusto

Gusto

Bubble181 said:
I honestly don't see why you "should" bring someone. Go alone, or check the +1 and just see whether or not you've got someone to take along. If not, there's always just bringing a friend.

Never understood that - it seems to be an American thing. Being single isn't horrible, or against social mores, and you shouldn't feel bad (you're allowed to feel bad for being dumped, of course - hugs!). What on earth is wrong with going alone? A wedding's a great place to meet new people, too.
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I agree not having a date isn't the end of the world by any means, but I'd kind of like to. I'm feeling especially lonely right now and the faster I get a little validation there, the better. And if it happens to mean I have a date for a big party, then even better.
 
Espy

Espy

Gusto said:
I don't really have any female friends I'd be comfortable inviting at this point. Anyone who I know currently and would be an option for inviting would also be an option for wooing, potentially.
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Then woo, Gusto. Woo with all your might.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

I agree with the Bubble. Sounds like you and the couple getting married are part of a larger group of friends? Why not see it as a gathering of old friends, a chance to catch up and chew the fat with each other. There's no pressure to have a date for an outing with pals, right?

EDIT: Ah, if it's to help you boost your confidence, then I also agree with the Baby. WOO THOSE WOMEN, GUSTO!
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

Gusto said:
I agree not having a date isn't the end of the world by any means, but I'd kind of like to. I'm feeling especially lonely right now and the faster I get a little validation there, the better. And if it happens to mean I have a date for a big party, then even better.
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In that case, take the advice of the Baby in Residence.

If it's not about "feeling bad for not having a date" but about "not wanting to be alone because you're lonely", well, you know the drill. Either get up enough courage and stuff to woo the ladies, or stop trying because it's only then women are attracted to us non-bravado people.

Also, I really have to wonder here, she started seeing something else? As in, you got replaced with a vacuum cleaner? :p
 
Gusto

Gusto

Bubble181 said:
Also, I really have to wonder here, she started seeing something else? As in, you got replaced with a vacuum cleaner? :p
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Whoa, Freduian slip. Haha, no, as far as I'm aware she's seeing a human male.

And we're gonna still be friends, since we basically were only intimate a few times and there was no real commitment. I just told her I kind led MYSELF on (like I do) and I'd probably need to not see her for a couple weeks. She even OFFERED to go to the wedding with me anyway, but I told her that probably was't a good idea.
 
strawman

strawman

You've got to woo the women!
There's a women!
Woo her!
Woo woo!

(Forgot the name of the movie, so you don't get the video. Sorry!)
 
LittleKagsin

LittleKagsin

If it were me, I would work on getting over being hurt and go have a fun time at the wedding. I wouldn't worry about bringing a date. My main reasoning for this is, bringing a new-ish girlfriend to a wedding...well, unless she's super mature, she may start to go crazy. If I had been dating a guy for a month, or less and he invited me to a wedding, I would get all of these preconceived notions about his motives. I'm not saying it's true, it's just where my mind would go. In my humble opinion, girls go crazy about weddings, even girls who are low-key. Of course, it really does depend on the girl, but more often than not, she'll have some...reactions.

Sorry, I know I don't always get my point across very clearly. It's hard for me to type what I'm thinking sometimes.

But, 5 weeks sounds it will give you enough time to get over being sad and rebuild your confidence a bit. Then you can go have fun and catch up with friends. :)

*HUGSS*
 
Gusto

Gusto

Yeah I get it. That's what I mean when I said that my friends were trying to set me up with someone but it'd be really short notice. Even if I met this girl this week, it's not like I'm immediately gonna invite her to a wedding. That would put waaaay too much pressure on a new thing.

I'm looking more for girls who are acquaintances and know my situation, and are likely to sympathize and wouldn't mind going to soemthing like that with me, either platonically or possibly otherwise.

And that particular subset has one girl in it. So I guess we'll see.
 
LittleKagsin

LittleKagsin

Good luck!

It sounds like a pretty good option, being set up with someone or going with someone you already know. I hope it turns out in your favor. :)
 
Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

1. Go to the wedding by yourself and walk in like you own the place.
2. Be super confident and dashing.
3. Have all the single ladies at the wedding fawn over you.
4. ???
5. Profit.
 
SpecialKO

SpecialKO

I am in a surprisingly similar situation, but since I don't have any female friends available to take as a date, and since there is some mild travel involved (which would definitely bring some unneeded pressure on anyone I brought), I have opted for Azure's plan.
 
Gusto

Gusto

SpecialKO said:
I am in a surprisingly similar situation, but since I don't have any female friends available to take as a date, and since there is some mild travel involved (which would definitely bring some unneeded pressure on anyone I brought), I have opted for Azure's plan.
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The girl I'm thinking of asking lives in Toronto anyway, and she's never seemed that adverse to travel. The venue is about 30 minutes drive from me, even. And the couple has set up some kind of deal with a nearby hotel to give a handful of people a coupon code, effectively. So getting a hotel for the night seems probable, in the event of taking a date.

Good luck with your situation!
 
SpecialKO

SpecialKO

Gusto said:
The girl I'm thinking of asking lives in Toronto anyway, and she's never seemed that adverse to travel. The venue is about 30 minutes drive from me, even. And the couple has set up some kind of deal with a nearby hotel to give a handful of people a coupon code, effectively. So getting a hotel for the night seems probable, in the event of taking a date.

Good luck with your situation!
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Ditto!

Yeah, in my case it would involve flying down to Georgia. Not crazy expensive, but definitely not nothing.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Don't bring a date, she will have a bad time if you spend any time catching up with old friends. And you would likely want to spend time with those friends. It is also hard on the person that you are bringing to face that many new people at one time that are invested in your life.
 
Gusto

Gusto

sixpackshaker said:
Don't bring a date, she will have a bad time if you spend any time catching up with old friends. And you would likely want to spend time with those friends. It is also hard on the person that you are bringing to face that many new people at one time that are invested in your life.
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Most of the people at the wedding are people I won't know. Most of the people going that I know are people I spend time with every week. The couple themselves I caught up with at Christmas. There's no real fear of ignoring a potential date in order to focus on other people, certainly not for long spans of time.[DOUBLEPOST=1358267106][/DOUBLEPOST]I know there's a lot of pressure on the date for these reasons, especially if they don't know anyone or the relationship is new. I'm gonna outline all this to the girl I'm asking. If she's not comfortable with it, then I'll go solo.
 
dill616

dill616

Gusto said:
Yeah I get it. That's what I mean when I said that my friends were trying to set me up with someone but it'd be really short notice. Even if I met this girl this week, it's not like I'm immediately gonna invite her to a wedding. That would put waaaay too much pressure on a new thing.

I'm looking more for girls who are acquaintances and know my situation, and are likely to sympathize and wouldn't mind going to soemthing like that with me, either platonically or possibly otherwise.

And that particular subset has one girl in it. So I guess we'll see.
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This is a difficult one. I agree with LittleKagsin in the fact that some women will go bat shit crazy at weddings. It sets their biological clock to self-destruction mode. I can't say I'm not guilty of this myself! I went to my boss's wedding and, after seeing how happy she was with her sweet husband, I decided to give dating a try again after 6 years of taking a break. BOOM! Two weeks later I met Gen Spec and fell in love. It happens. Lads, imagine being at a baby shower with your girlfriend/partner and hearing her say "Awww, I want a baby!" the entire time. It's kind of like that. All your seeing is the cute and fuzzy side of things and not the screaming at 2 am or the loss of sanity when your kid shows you how they gave their younger sibling a haircut.

If you trust your friend to go with you to this wedding as a friend, then I don't see it as being a problem. Maybe schedule a marathon of Bridezillas beforehand so that you can make funny jokes at the ceremony.
 
Gusto

Gusto

I don't THINK the girl I have in mind is the type who would melt into a puddle of sentimental jelly at a wedding, but it's a good thing to keep in mind. :) Thanks ladies.
 
dill616

dill616

Gusto said:
I don't THINK the girl I have in mind is the type who would melt into a puddle of sentimental jelly at a wedding, but it's a good thing to keep in mind. :) Thanks ladies.
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She's a good one to take then! As a side note, I sometimes put on Bridezillas and remind the General that, "No matter how emotional I may get throughout this process, it could always be worse. I could be like one of those crazy brides!" Once he told me, "If you started acting like the girls on that show, I wouldn't marry you!" Agreed.
 
Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

Invite two girls to the wedding. When they both agree, bring them both, don't tell them about the other one, and then use contrivances to run back and forth between them. Also, get it taped and add a laugh track.
 
Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

And boy will it get awkward quickly when one of your well-meaning but clueless male friends thought you were going to be going with plan B, and he shows up wearing a nice dress, a nice set of heels, and a wig.
 
Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

stienman said:
But it'll all work out in the end as you give him your extra.
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What. No. God no. That's an awful conclusion.

In the end, Gusto's two dates will have a wonderful time and we can get a whole seasons worth of episodes out of the love triangle of Gusto, the sweet girl-next-door he's known his whole life, and the exotic-seeming rich girl from out of town with a fiery personality who likes to walk on the wild side.
 
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