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The Wedding Challenge

Jan 15, 2013#1

Gusto

Here is the challenge before me:

Last week I got invited to a wedding. It was a wedding that I didn't expect to be invited to, because I only see the couple once a year or so, even though we were super close a few years back. We still make time to get our whole group together every Christmas though, and I think that's what got us all the invite. I ALSO wasn't expecting the invite because their wedding is on February 23rd and that's like 5 weeks away. I've never been invited to a wedding before but from what I understand that's SUPER short notice.

Here's where the challenege comes in. I've been kinda moaning about it here and there over the last couple days, but on Sunday, the girl I'd been seeing for ~6 months or so bascially told me it wasn't worknig out and she had started seeing soemthing else. This wasn't really a surprise, and we weren't exclusive, so no wrong was done on her part really. She just kinda made it seem like she wasn't in a stable enough lifestyle to support a relationship, and then suddenly she was in one. Anyway.

THE CHALLENGE is that now I'm a single dude who's got to get over his hurt incredibly fast because I've gotta find a date for this wedding. My best option is to just check the +1 option and hope someone agrees to go with me in the next 5 week, but ideally, I'll find someone before RSVPing, which I should do sometime this week.

So right now, I'm thinking of asking her best friend, who both understands exactly where I'm coming from with this situation and sympathizes, and with whom I have had a lot of [clean, wholesome] fun in the past. Other friends of mine have also said they want to try to set me up with someone, which I'm cool with, but seems like it might be too slow a process to depend upon for my 5 week deadline.

Thoughts, advice, criticism, aghast outrage and hugs are welcome!

Jan 15, 2013#2

Espy

I am always aghast in my outrage.

Also, go for the +1, but don't take a friend. You got 5 weeks to woo some fine female. So get to it.

Jan 15, 2013#3

Gusto

Espy said:
I am always aghast in my outrage.

Also, go for the +1, but don't take a friend. You got 5 weeks to woo some fine female. So get to it.

I don't really have any female friends I'd be comfortable inviting at this point. Anyone who I know currently and would be an option for inviting would also be an option for wooing, potentially.

Jan 15, 2013#4

Bubble181

I honestly don't see why you "should" bring someone. Go alone, or check the +1 and just see whether or not you've got someone to take along. If not, there's always just bringing a friend.

Never understood that - it seems to be an American thing. Being single isn't horrible, or against social mores, and you shouldn't feel bad (you're allowed to feel bad for being dumped, of course - hugs!). What on earth is wrong with going alone? A wedding's a great place to meet new people, too.

Jan 15, 2013#5

Gusto

Bubble181 said:
I honestly don't see why you "should" bring someone. Go alone, or check the +1 and just see whether or not you've got someone to take along. If not, there's always just bringing a friend.

Never understood that - it seems to be an American thing. Being single isn't horrible, or against social mores, and you shouldn't feel bad (you're allowed to feel bad for being dumped, of course - hugs!). What on earth is wrong with going alone? A wedding's a great place to meet new people, too.

I agree not having a date isn't the end of the world by any means, but I'd kind of like to. I'm feeling especially lonely right now and the faster I get a little validation there, the better. And if it happens to mean I have a date for a big party, then even better.

Jan 15, 2013#6

Espy

Gusto said:
I don't really have any female friends I'd be comfortable inviting at this point. Anyone who I know currently and would be an option for inviting would also be an option for wooing, potentially.

Then woo, Gusto. Woo with all your might.

Jan 15, 2013#7

bhamv3

I agree with the Bubble. Sounds like you and the couple getting married are part of a larger group of friends? Why not see it as a gathering of old friends, a chance to catch up and chew the fat with each other. There's no pressure to have a date for an outing with pals, right?

EDIT: Ah, if it's to help you boost your confidence, then I also agree with the Baby. WOO THOSE WOMEN, GUSTO!

Jan 15, 2013#8

Gusto

There are many emotions at play here.

Jan 15, 2013#9

Bubble181

Gusto said:
I agree not having a date isn't the end of the world by any means, but I'd kind of like to. I'm feeling especially lonely right now and the faster I get a little validation there, the better. And if it happens to mean I have a date for a big party, then even better.

In that case, take the advice of the Baby in Residence.

If it's not about "feeling bad for not having a date" but about "not wanting to be alone because you're lonely", well, you know the drill. Either get up enough courage and stuff to woo the ladies, or stop trying because it's only then women are attracted to us non-bravado people.

Also, I really have to wonder here, she started seeing something else? As in, you got replaced with a vacuum cleaner?

Jan 15, 2013#10

Gusto

Bubble181 said:
Also, I really have to wonder here, she started seeing something else? As in, you got replaced with a vacuum cleaner?

Whoa, Freduian slip. Haha, no, as far as I'm aware she's seeing a human male.

And we're gonna still be friends, since we basically were only intimate a few times and there was no real commitment. I just told her I kind led MYSELF on (like I do) and I'd probably need to not see her for a couple weeks. She even OFFERED to go to the wedding with me anyway, but I told her that probably was't a good idea.

Jan 15, 2013#11

Espy

Yeah, thats a terrible idea. Better to go with friends than do that.

Jan 15, 2013#12

Gusto

Espy said:
Yeah, thats a terrible idea. Better to go with friends than do that.

Yeah for sure.

Jan 15, 2013#13

strawman

You've got to woo the women!
There's a women!
Woo her!
Woo woo!

(Forgot the name of the movie, so you don't get the video. Sorry!)

Jan 15, 2013#14

Gusto

No idea what that is... but... thanks?

Jan 15, 2013#15

LittleKagsin

If it were me, I would work on getting over being hurt and go have a fun time at the wedding. I wouldn't worry about bringing a date. My main reasoning for this is, bringing a new-ish girlfriend to a wedding...well, unless she's super mature, she may start to go crazy. If I had been dating a guy for a month, or less and he invited me to a wedding, I would get all of these preconceived notions about his motives. I'm not saying it's true, it's just where my mind would go. In my humble opinion, girls go crazy about weddings, even girls who are low-key. Of course, it really does depend on the girl, but more often than not, she'll have some...reactions.

Sorry, I know I don't always get my point across very clearly. It's hard for me to type what I'm thinking sometimes.

But, 5 weeks sounds it will give you enough time to get over being sad and rebuild your confidence a bit. Then you can go have fun and catch up with friends.

*HUGSS*

Jan 15, 2013#16

Gusto

Yeah I get it. That's what I mean when I said that my friends were trying to set me up with someone but it'd be really short notice. Even if I met this girl this week, it's not like I'm immediately gonna invite her to a wedding. That would put waaaay too much pressure on a new thing.

I'm looking more for girls who are acquaintances and know my situation, and are likely to sympathize and wouldn't mind going to soemthing like that with me, either platonically or possibly otherwise.

And that particular subset has one girl in it. So I guess we'll see.

Jan 15, 2013#17

LittleKagsin

Good luck!

It sounds like a pretty good option, being set up with someone or going with someone you already know. I hope it turns out in your favor.

Jan 15, 2013#18

Gusto

Thanks L-Kagz.

Jan 15, 2013#19

Azurephoenix

1. Go to the wedding by yourself and walk in like you own the place.
2. Be super confident and dashing.
3. Have all the single ladies at the wedding fawn over you.
4. ???
5. Profit.

Jan 15, 2013#20

Gusto

Azurephoenix said:
1. Go to the wedding by yourself and walk in like you own the place.
2. Be super confident and dashing.
3. Have all the single ladies at the wedding fawn over you.
4. ???
5. Profit.

Plan B, my friend.

Jan 15, 2013#21

SpecialKO

I am in a surprisingly similar situation, but since I don't have any female friends available to take as a date, and since there is some mild travel involved (which would definitely bring some unneeded pressure on anyone I brought), I have opted for Azure's plan.

Jan 15, 2013#22

Gusto

SpecialKO said:
I am in a surprisingly similar situation, but since I don't have any female friends available to take as a date, and since there is some mild travel involved (which would definitely bring some unneeded pressure on anyone I brought), I have opted for Azure's plan.

The girl I'm thinking of asking lives in Toronto anyway, and she's never seemed that adverse to travel. The venue is about 30 minutes drive from me, even. And the couple has set up some kind of deal with a nearby hotel to give a handful of people a coupon code, effectively. So getting a hotel for the night seems probable, in the event of taking a date.

Good luck with your situation!

Jan 15, 2013#23

North_Ranger

Go alone, schtoink a bridesmaid.

Jan 15, 2013#24

SpecialKO

Gusto said:
The girl I'm thinking of asking lives in Toronto anyway, and she's never seemed that adverse to travel. The venue is about 30 minutes drive from me, even. And the couple has set up some kind of deal with a nearby hotel to give a handful of people a coupon code, effectively. So getting a hotel for the night seems probable, in the event of taking a date.

Good luck with your situation!

Ditto!

Yeah, in my case it would involve flying down to Georgia. Not crazy expensive, but definitely not nothing.

Jan 15, 2013#25

Gusto

North_Ranger said:
Go alone, schtoink a bridesmaid.

Easier said, but yes, Plan B.[DOUBLEPOST=1358265025][/DOUBLEPOST]

SpecialKO said:
Yeah, in my case it would involve flying down to Georgia. Not crazy expensive, but definitely not nothing.

Oh yeah that's much more travel. Lol.

Jan 15, 2013#26

sixpackshaker

Don't bring a date, she will have a bad time if you spend any time catching up with old friends. And you would likely want to spend time with those friends. It is also hard on the person that you are bringing to face that many new people at one time that are invested in your life.

Jan 15, 2013#27

Gusto

sixpackshaker said:
Don't bring a date, she will have a bad time if you spend any time catching up with old friends. And you would likely want to spend time with those friends. It is also hard on the person that you are bringing to face that many new people at one time that are invested in your life.

Most of the people at the wedding are people I won't know. Most of the people going that I know are people I spend time with every week. The couple themselves I caught up with at Christmas. There's no real fear of ignoring a potential date in order to focus on other people, certainly not for long spans of time.[DOUBLEPOST=1358267106][/DOUBLEPOST]I know there's a lot of pressure on the date for these reasons, especially if they don't know anyone or the relationship is new. I'm gonna outline all this to the girl I'm asking. If she's not comfortable with it, then I'll go solo.

Jan 15, 2013#28

dill616

Gusto said:
Yeah I get it. That's what I mean when I said that my friends were trying to set me up with someone but it'd be really short notice. Even if I met this girl this week, it's not like I'm immediately gonna invite her to a wedding. That would put waaaay too much pressure on a new thing.

I'm looking more for girls who are acquaintances and know my situation, and are likely to sympathize and wouldn't mind going to soemthing like that with me, either platonically or possibly otherwise.

And that particular subset has one girl in it. So I guess we'll see.

This is a difficult one. I agree with LittleKagsin in the fact that some women will go bat shit crazy at weddings. It sets their biological clock to self-destruction mode. I can't say I'm not guilty of this myself! I went to my boss's wedding and, after seeing how happy she was with her sweet husband, I decided to give dating a try again after 6 years of taking a break. BOOM! Two weeks later I met Gen Spec and fell in love. It happens. Lads, imagine being at a baby shower with your girlfriend/partner and hearing her say "Awww, I want a baby!" the entire time. It's kind of like that. All your seeing is the cute and fuzzy side of things and not the screaming at 2 am or the loss of sanity when your kid shows you how they gave their younger sibling a haircut.

If you trust your friend to go with you to this wedding as a friend, then I don't see it as being a problem. Maybe schedule a marathon of Bridezillas beforehand so that you can make funny jokes at the ceremony.

Jan 15, 2013#29

Gusto

I don't THINK the girl I have in mind is the type who would melt into a puddle of sentimental jelly at a wedding, but it's a good thing to keep in mind.

Thanks ladies.

Jan 15, 2013#30

dill616

Gusto said:
I don't THINK the girl I have in mind is the type who would melt into a puddle of sentimental jelly at a wedding, but it's a good thing to keep in mind. Thanks ladies.

She's a good one to take then! As a side note, I sometimes put on Bridezillas and remind the General that, "No matter how emotional I may get throughout this process, it could always be worse. I could be like one of those crazy brides!" Once he told me, "If you started acting like the girls on that show, I wouldn't marry you!" Agreed.

Jan 15, 2013#31

Allen who is Quiet

Invite two girls to the wedding. When they both agree, bring them both, don't tell them about the other one, and then use contrivances to run back and forth between them. Also, get it taped and add a laugh track.

Jan 15, 2013#32

Gusto

Contrivances you say...

Jan 15, 2013#33

Allen who is Quiet

And boy will it get awkward quickly when one of your well-meaning but clueless male friends thought you were going to be going with plan B, and he shows up wearing a nice dress, a nice set of heels, and a wig.

Jan 15, 2013#34

strawman

Allen who is Quiet said:
And boy will it get awkward quickly when one of your well-meaning but clueless male friends thought you were going to be going with plan B, and he shows up wearing a nice dress, a nice set of heels, and a wig.

But it'll all work out in the end as you give him your extra.

Jan 15, 2013#35

Allen who is Quiet

stienman said:
But it'll all work out in the end as you give him your extra.

What. No. God no. That's an awful conclusion.

In the end, Gusto's two dates will have a wonderful time and we can get a whole seasons worth of episodes out of the love triangle of Gusto, the sweet girl-next-door he's known his whole life, and the exotic-seeming rich girl from out of town with a fiery personality who likes to walk on the wild side.

Jan 15, 2013#36

strawman

Allen who is Quiet said:
What. No. God no. That's an awful conclusion.

Perhaps, but it's the best we could come up with since the show was cancelled after only 3 episodes, since it was cannibalizing viewers from their newest reality show, which, by the way, is cheaper to produce and maybe you should have used a real actor for the exotic rich girl from out of town rather than using CGI, mmmkay? Good luck on your next pitch, and please make sure the soundstage is clean when you leave.

Jan 15, 2013#37

Allen who is Quiet

Jan 15, 2013#38

Gusto

My life often seems like a sitcom. I'm the Ross in my own life.

Jan 15, 2013#39

Just Me

Good luck with all your plans, whatever you decide on!

In the worst case, go with the +1 option, invite LittleKagsin and go to the wedding with Alice or Poison Ivy at your side.
May the Force be with you! For Gondor! etc. *brofist*

Jan 15, 2013#40

Gusto

If I thought Kags would come to Cambridge for a weekend I would totally invite her.

Jan 15, 2013#41

LittleKagsin

Just Me said:
Good luck with all your plans, whatever you decide on!

In the worst case, go with the +1 option, invite LittleKagsin and go to the wedding with Alice or Poison Ivy at your side.
May the Force be with you! For Gondor! etc. *brofist*

OhmyHNnn, I love this idea so much.

Gusto said:
If I thought Kags would come to Cambridge for a weekend I would totally invite her.

Seriously, I wish I totally could! That would be all sorts of awesome.

Jan 15, 2013#42

Piotyr

Focus primarily on setting yourself up to have a good time. It's just a wedding, so have fun. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do any wooing or feel like you need to have a date there, especially if that date would be someone unfamiliar with your or the people at the wedding.

Only take someone else if they'd enhance your enjoyment, not as any sort of obligation.

Check the +1 anyway, though, especially if the food will be good, because hey, extra steak!

Jan 15, 2013#43

Jay

Have you seen Wedding crashers?

Fuck the +1.

Jan 15, 2013#44

Allen who is Quiet

Gusto said:
My life often seems like a sitcom. I'm the Ross in my own life.

I'm the Abed in my life

Jan 15, 2013#45

Piotyr

Jay said:
Have you seen Wedding crashers?

Fuck the +1.

That is generally the end goal here, yes.

Jan 15, 2013#46

dill616

Piotyr said:
That is generally the end goal here, yes.

Hey! Have some respect for the ladies! We are not to be objectified!! Unless she's one of those girls with legs like margarine; easily spreadable. In that case, condemn away. :problemo:

Jan 15, 2013#47

Jay

dill616 said:
Hey! Have some respect for the ladies! We are not to be objectified!!

Jan 15, 2013#48

dill616

Jay said:
View attachment 9735

Aka [user]General Specific[/user] on any given night.

Jan 15, 2013#49

Jay

dill616 said:
Aka [user]General Specific[/user] on any given night.

DONT CLICK

Jan 15, 2013#50

Bumble the Boy Wonder

I'm learning so much today

Jan 15, 2013#51

Gusto

MY BEAUTIFUL THREAD :Leyla:

Jan 15, 2013#52

Chad Sexington

I see a lot of threads ending in masturbation lately.

Jan 15, 2013#53

dill616

Well, people got annoyed with us posting in the "I just had sex" thread!

Also, I have big boobs and I cannot lie. My bra size sounds like a stutter! Muahahaha! I was blessed by the bosom gods.

Jan 15, 2013#54

North_Ranger

I forget... May I have some photographic evidence? Y'know, as a reminder?

Jan 15, 2013#55

Gusto

STAHP

Jan 15, 2013#56

Allen who is Quiet

Spell stop right, you plebian douche-fucker

Jan 15, 2013#57

PatrThom

Gusto, I seriously wish I had some useful advise for you, but I do not.
I have enough respect that at least I will not further derail this thread.

--Patrick

Jan 15, 2013#58

Chad Sexington

Gusto: don't bang a bridesmaid.

Bang all the bridesmaids.

Jan 15, 2013#59

dill616

North_Ranger said:
I forget... May I have some photographic evidence? Y'know, as a reminder?

I did go a little wild when I was last in Germany:

I tried to post another picture, but I kept getting the same warning:

Jan 15, 2013#60

TommiR

How does a german woman satisfy 8 men at the same time?

Jan 15, 2013#61

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Gusto - You can always take Grandmother Bumble to the wedding.

But seriously, the only weddings I've ever been to have been for family members. Meaning everyone there was pretty much related to me. Meaning I had no one to drunkenly hit on as I cut a rug on the dance floor.
Maybe see if there's someone from work that might be interested in accompanying you to the wedding? Tell em you'll supply the booze and ride, they just need to bring the sexy.

Jan 15, 2013#62

Gusto

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
Gusto - You can always take Grandmother Bumble to the wedding.

But seriously, the only weddings I've ever been to have been for family members. Meaning everyone there was pretty much related to me. Meaning I had no one to drunkenly hit on as I cut a rug on the dance floor.
Maybe see if there's someone from work that might be interested in accompanying you to the wedding? Tell em you'll supply the booze and ride, they just need to bring the sexy.

Not a bad plan, except I just started a new job, remember? I don't really know anyone outside of my training classes, and I don't want to bring them.

And yeah, this is my first non-family wedding too. But I'm gonna be best man in a wedding in 2014 sometime so I should at least scope out the proceedings.

Jan 15, 2013#63

North_Ranger

dill616 - Ah, now I remember. Thank you very much

Jan 15, 2013#64

Gusto

Alright I got a date. Se's a friend of a friend who's really excited and flattered I asked her, and is already planning to pick up a new dress to match me, and we're gonna BYOB just in case it's a cash bar so we can drink politely/covertly and then after-party like rockstars in our hotel room.

Jan 15, 2013#65

North_Ranger

Gusto , you DAWG! Well done!

Jan 15, 2013#66

Gusto

Yup now I just gotta do my best to not be socially awkward.

Jan 15, 2013#67

Allen who is Quiet

Before you do anything, ask yourself "Would Allen think this is a good thing to do?" If the answer is yes, do the exact opposite.

Jan 15, 2013#68

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Now to take her to dinner before the wedding!

Jan 15, 2013#69

Gusto

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
Now to take her to dinner before the wedding!

She said she'll want to get a new dress and I volunteered to go with her. I said tha we should hang out a bit before the wedding just for funsies anyway (not those words).

Jan 15, 2013#70

Bumble the Boy Wonder

You totally should have used those words. Then nudged her on the arm going EH? EHHHHHH??

Jan 15, 2013#71

North_Ranger

And for the love of Dave don't tell her you're taking advice from a bunch of Internet weirdos

Jan 15, 2013#72

Allen who is Quiet

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
You totally should have used those words. Then nudged her on the arm going EH? EHHHHHH??

I think this is a good idea.

Jan 15, 2013#73

Bumble the Boy Wonder

North_Ranger said:
And for the love of Dave don't tell her you're taking advice from a bunch of Internet weirdos

Tell her it's just a handful, not a whole bunch.

Jan 15, 2013#74

North_Ranger

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
Tell her it's just a handful, not a whole bunch.

Can you give me ONE example when arguing semantics has actually worked?

Jan 15, 2013#75

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Also, if you need, print out this thread onto little note cards for quick reference if you need them. I can create a list of witty anecdotes that you can randomly pull out and use at a moments notice if you'd like.[DOUBLEPOST=1358293470][/DOUBLEPOST]

North_Ranger said:
Can you give me ONE example when arguing semantics has actually worked?

I don't think it's really arguing, so much as correcting.

Jan 15, 2013#76

North_Ranger

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
I don't think it's really arguing, so much as correcting.

Yyyyyeah... That's... that's so going to work better. Um... right...

Jan 15, 2013#77

strawman

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
Also, if you need, print out this thread onto little note cards for quick reference if you need them. I can create a list of witty anecdotes that you can randomly pull out and use at a moments notice if you'd like.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

These are sure to get you all sorts of,er... attention... at the wedding. Enjoy!

Jan 15, 2013#78

General Specific

North_Ranger said:
I forget... May I have some photographic evidence? Y'know, as a reminder?

Jay said:
View attachment 9735

Jan 16, 2013#79

Gusto

I removed her picture to protect the innocent. I posted it initially in a moment of wekaness because I felt like showing off a little.

Jan 16, 2013#80

North_Ranger

Good call, Gusto.

Jan 16, 2013#81

Gusto

THIS GUY

Jan 16, 2013#82

Reverent-one

So let me get this straight, after complaining about being single in thread or two and creating a new thread challenging himself to get a date, it takes all of a couple of days for Gusto to get one.

...Dang, I'm jealous. Why ya got to make look so easy Gusto?

Jan 16, 2013#83

Gusto

Reverent-one said:
So let me get this straight, after complaining about being single in thread or two and creating a new thread challenging himself to get a date, it takes all of a couple of days for Gusto to get one.

...Dang, I'm jealous. Why ya got to make look so easy Gusto?

Hahah I was wondering when someone would call me out on this. When I posted the OP I basically already had the girl in mind that I was gonna ask, based on the suggestion of the girl I "broke up with". They're best friends.

The OKC girl basically decided on Sunday that she's not in a stable enough lifestyle to support a relationship and doesn't think her dog-heavy lifestlye will support my constant allergy issues. So she told me she wasn't gonna lead me on anymore and that she'd like to still be friends. She told me all this basically as I asked her about the wedding, but I felt we were headed in this direction anyway so it wasn't something that took me more than like 2 days to get over. She said she'd still go with me if I wanted, I told her that probably was not a good idea, and she suggested I ask the girl I DID ask instead. Which I was already sorta mulling over.

So the girl I'm going with now is either a super good friend to both her and I, and wants me to make the transition easily and so is enabling my wedding plans, OR she's genuinely interested in going with me despite the "break-up" with her bestie. She's apparently mentioned to OKC Girl in the past that she would totally go out with me too if not for her cats (which incidentally are much less of a problem for me than dogs). So maybe something could happen here. She does seem excited to hang out with me both before and at the wedding, and to get drunk and share a hotel room. I'm trying to not get my hopes up as far as that's concerned - I don't need to read too much into soemthing and friend-zone myself again.

So that's been everything from the last couple days. And why it's been a rollercoaster of emotion.

Jan 16, 2013#84

sixpackshaker

North_Ranger said:
Can you give me ONE example when arguing semantics has actually worked?

That depends on your definition of "is"

Jan 16, 2013#85

strawman

Gusto said:
dog-heavy lifestlye... if not for her cats

Quothe the raven: Nevermore!

Oral antihistamines (pills and liquids) ease symptoms such as swelling, runny nose, itchy or watery eyes, and hives (urticaria). Over-the-counter oral antihistamines include loratadine (Claritin) and cetirizine (Zyrtec). Desloratadine (Clarinex) and levocetirizine (Xyzal) are available by prescription. Fexofenadine (Allegra) is available both over-the-counter and by prescription. Some oral antihistamines may cause dry mouth and drowsiness. Older antihistamines such as diphenhydramine (Benadryl), chlorpheniramine (Chlor-Trimeton) and clemastine (Tavist) are more likely to cause drowsiness and slow your reaction time. These sedating antihistamines shouldn't be taken when driving or doing other potentially dangerous activities.

That and offering to vacuum for her occasionally should take care of things. I've found Zyrtec works well for me, my father uses allegra, and I know people who find claritin works best for them. Pets are generally an easy hurdle - don't let them keep you from finding love.

Jan 16, 2013#86

Gusto

stienman said:
Quothe the raven: Nevermore!

That and offering to vacuum for her occasionally should take care of things. I've found Zyrtec works well for me, my father uses allegra, and I know people who find claritin works best for them. Pets are generally an easy hurdle - don't let them keep you from finding love.

Claritin works great for me, at least for a few hours. Her concerns were more long-term - if we eventually move in together, will I be drugged the whole time? Will I eventually build up an immunity? Who knows!?

Honestly, between us, I think the allergies suck and all, but it seems like a lame excuse. I think she's not ready for something and as opposed to having me just wait for her, she's cutting it off.

Jan 16, 2013#87

strawman

I did zyrtec when we had a cat, and never seemed to develop a tolerance. In fact it took about a week for it to work all day, the first few days it did only seem to work for a few hours after I took it. If you take it regularly you won't notice the side effects (as far as I could tell there weren't any, and I really don't like taking even ibuprofen if I can avoid it as it makes me feel fuzzy headed), and it will eventually work all day. I'm told that's common for most 24 hour antihistamines - taking it regularly is required for it to last the full 24 hours.

When the cat died, I stopped taking them.

Either way, it may seem like a lame excuse, but if you avoid going over there, and when you do you're sniffly and rubbing your eyes the entire time, she's going to dump you before it gets serious. You have to decide if you're going to fix the problem, because she's not going to do it for you, and she doesn't want to feel like she's making you uncomfortable. If the relationship is worth it next time, consider visiting your doctor or trying one of these medications. While I wouldn't go so far as to suggest allergies are debilitating for you, it's obvious that yours are getting in the way of your life, and you are doing things differently than you would if you didn't have to deal with them. If that's the decision you've made, that's fine - I know people with allergies who choose to live in a way that prevents the allergies from being triggered without drugs. They miss out on some things, but they eventually get everything they want.

Something to consider, anyway.

Jan 16, 2013#88

Gusto

I did all that, shy of getting a doctor's advice, because I didn't want things to get that seriosu that fast. It's not like either of us were in the state where we could move in together ANYTIME soon, and Claritin was good enough for the handful of times I stayed over.

Again, I think she was looknig for an excuse.

Jan 16, 2013#89

dill616

General Specific said:

Wanna take a mustache ride?

General Specific said:

Is that a big sword in your pocket or are you just concealing a massive erection?

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