So what's your thoughts about Asians dating Caucasians? I've seen so many mixed couples in the streets, that it doesn't rattle me anymore. Before that, I was surprised at how many Caucasian/Asian couples there are in my city. And I seem to attract Caucasian men mostly (I'm a Chinese girl). I've no idea why Asian men don't find me attractive, but White men do. (My boyfriend is White).
Asians dating Caucasians
- Thread starter Naiwen
- Start date
How about, what is everyone's thoughts on Caucasians dating Asians?
My thoughts are... absolutely nothing. I'm white and dated 2 Asian girls (1 Japanese, 1 Chinese) but I don't think my experiences should be covered here.
I'll be blunt, if someone is living in a place like Canada and they don't find it acceptable for people of different races being together, then these people are better off going back to their country of origin. They missed the point of what Canada should be.
My thoughts are... absolutely nothing. I'm white and dated 2 Asian girls (1 Japanese, 1 Chinese) but I don't think my experiences should be covered here.
I'll be blunt, if someone is living in a place like Canada and they don't find it acceptable for people of different races being together, then these people are better off going back to their country of origin. They missed the point of what Canada should be.
Why did you make a separate thread for this? We were already discussing this issue in the "So my Boyfriend is Caucasian White" thread.
This is for general thoughts about Caucasians dating Asians, not my personal issue.
It's the EXACT same theme, though, and as I said, we were already discussing it outside of your personal issues.
Let's just cut to the jib here:
What are YOUR thoughts on Blacks dating Whites?
Arabs dating Asians?
Germans dating French?
What are my thoughts? Race doesn't matter 1 bit, all that matters are the two people involved. The only time your family should interfere with who you date is when you're under 18.
I'm against it. Races should stick with their own kind. In fact, it can be hard to tell just what race most people are, as geneologically they could have any number of ethnicities that mixed in their past. Studies have even found NEANDERTHAL dna in people, so to make sure we don't risk accidentally dating someone of a slightly different arbitrary hue as you, we should all just date within our own family.
jk lol
I'm into Asian women because I want to spread my North American superiority to other, inferior cultures.
fetish
fet·ish[fet-ish, fee-tish] Show IPA
noun
1.
an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2.
any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3.
Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
The same reason you're into Caucasian men. They're different, and people are often attracted to what they see as exotic.
I don't get why White men have a fetish for Asian women. Some Asian women are really ugly and homely, compared to White women.
Im getting married to a Chinese girl--but lets play a game of percentages. The number of Asians in China is 99+%. The number of white girls in China is less than 1%. A female of which race is the one I'm most likely to date?
The answer is clear: I clearly wasn't popular enough with the expat crowd.
Also, I've dated girls purely on looks alone. It doesn't always end well. I'm attracted to my fiance, make no mistake, but we're together based on compatibility.
That's assuming beauty is only to one race. There are ugly and beautiful people in every race and gender. I could remove the "Asian" and "White" parts of that sentence and it'd be the same.
But what they see as exotic, is ugly and homely to me. For example, 1 White guy was dating an Asian girl, the White guy was very handsome looking and the Asian girl, very ugly to me. I think White men tend to pick ugly Asian girls over the Asian "standards of beauty".
Because you are asian, hence why they are not exotic to you. Different people will have different ideas of beauty, shocking I know.
Also, it may be possible that they have an attraction to each other that is less superficial than outward appearance.
Interesting. Show me picture examples.
That's why. Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Of course you have pictures, this is the digital/facebook age, the correct response is that you don't want to show pictures here.
Don't be silly, people don't have different thoughts, preferences, beliefs or experiences. Everyone thinks exactly the way I do, unless they're wrong, of course.
For example me, Caucasian men are attracted to me and say I'm beautiful, but not Asian men.
I think you replied to the wrong person.
Of course you have pictures, this is the digital/facebook age, the correct response is that you don't want to show pictures here.
I'm Asian American, first generation through my Filipina mother, and have actually spent a lot of my adult life wondering this, and a majority of my academic career investigating the relationship dynamic between Euro-centric Western Culture vs. Asian Culture. A lot of the dynamic boils down to concepts which intertwine and emphasize the other and what can be in an almost toxic fashion: Post-Colonialism & Fetishization.
What's post-colonialism? Long story short, it's a school of thought that focuses on the Dominant & Submissive relationship between colonizing forces (I.E., The U.S., British Empire, Portugal, Spain, all dem Europeans) and those colonized (I.E. The Philippines for example! I've studied so much of that). It's hundreds and hundreds of years in the making, and engrains particular mindsets of 'what is right' into society. An important concept I've grown up with and studied has been shadism, which is a similiar manifestation to racism, but exhibits itself in terms of skin tone (kayumangi/dark vs maputi/pale). Pale skin tone is equated to higher class, better lineage, and physical beauty while dark skin is equated to indigenous background, lower class, lower education, etc (So in the Philippines, being pale meant you were of Spanish descent, thus rich and educated, while being dark symbolized being indigenous and poor). Shadism has practices such as daily skin bleaching, whitening make-up, contact lenses to make your eyes look larger, and cosmetic surgeries to create a fold in the eyelid like westerners have. My family does all of this and it ain't no thang. The first time I ever got make up, my mother gave me a compact of white powder, and told me that I was already lucky to be beautiful as a half American, and white powder would only highlight that. In Post-Colonial cultures, the submissive/colonized people are taught to idolize and aspire to be like the dominant people. I was actually encouraged to date white boys when I was younger, not realizing all the implications. All the women in my family are. Dating somebody with an ethnic background isn't frowned upon, but it isn't praised in the same way that a dating somebody white is.
On the other end, there's festishization. Which is the ebb to the flow of post-colonalism. The concept of a fetish is pretty understandable to most considering the familiarity of pornography, and is centric on sexualizing stereotypes on a certain people that may not always be true. In simplest terms, there's a lot to Asian stereotypes but if we boil it down to plain rhetoric, there's the Virgin Vs. Whore dichotomy. On one end of the stereotype, pornography creates an image of Asian women as submissive and sexual creatures. On the other end, Asian women are cast as victims constantly crying for their white savior. Also, because of the power structures behind shadism, if you're a dark/Asian woman and you have children with a white man, giving them a lighter skin tone is a way for them to elevate class, which in itself is considered a gift to those children. Here's a good video that goes a little more into what it is like for Asian women to struggle with these stereotypes and the pressure to pursue relationships with white men:
Last summer,
I met a boy who spoke like rain against windows. -
He had his father's blue eyes.
He'd press his wrist against mine and say he was too pale.
That my skin was so much more beautiful.
To him, I was Pacific sunset,
almond milk, a porcelain cup.
When he left me, I told myself I should have seen it coming.
I wasn't sure I was sad but I cried anyway.
Girls who look like me
are supposed to cry over boys who look like him.
I'd seen all the movies and read all the books.
We were just following the plot.
Speaking from personal experience, my whole existence tethers on this dynamic. My mother comes from a culture that idolizes the white man, so falling in love with a white man was a lofty dream that was easy to do. On the other end, my dad constantly tells me that had it not been for Karate Kid, I would not exist! He said he never really was attracted to Asian women until watching it, and then he met my mother. These two notions are problematic, but that doesn't mean they're all bad. Also, just because an Asian and a white person are dating, doesn't mean that all this messy business goes into that context. This is just a historical/academic perspective but doesn't reign 100% for everyone. A lot of people don't take into account ethnicity or race or political history when dating someone. Sometimes, you just fall in love with who you fall in love with and it doesn't matter what their skin color is. Sometimes, you watch Karate Kid and make three daughters with an Asian woman.
As far as dating white people goes, I've primarily dated white boys in my past because where I live, most people are of Polish/German descent, so that's what's about. A colored lady is more likely to date a white boy when there are more white boys around. That's my personal stance. Honestly, lately I've been more vibing into dating people with more ethnic & academic backgrounds because I actually really like studying what I study and those two things come together into person I can have really intense and awesome conversations with, so it's less about their skin color and more about our shared/similiar experiences.
Sorry. Kind of rambly. Maybe got some holes. Ask any questions cuz this is totally mah thaaaang.
What's post-colonialism? Long story short, it's a school of thought that focuses on the Dominant & Submissive relationship between colonizing forces (I.E., The U.S., British Empire, Portugal, Spain, all dem Europeans) and those colonized (I.E. The Philippines for example! I've studied so much of that). It's hundreds and hundreds of years in the making, and engrains particular mindsets of 'what is right' into society. An important concept I've grown up with and studied has been shadism, which is a similiar manifestation to racism, but exhibits itself in terms of skin tone (kayumangi/dark vs maputi/pale). Pale skin tone is equated to higher class, better lineage, and physical beauty while dark skin is equated to indigenous background, lower class, lower education, etc (So in the Philippines, being pale meant you were of Spanish descent, thus rich and educated, while being dark symbolized being indigenous and poor). Shadism has practices such as daily skin bleaching, whitening make-up, contact lenses to make your eyes look larger, and cosmetic surgeries to create a fold in the eyelid like westerners have. My family does all of this and it ain't no thang. The first time I ever got make up, my mother gave me a compact of white powder, and told me that I was already lucky to be beautiful as a half American, and white powder would only highlight that. In Post-Colonial cultures, the submissive/colonized people are taught to idolize and aspire to be like the dominant people. I was actually encouraged to date white boys when I was younger, not realizing all the implications. All the women in my family are. Dating somebody with an ethnic background isn't frowned upon, but it isn't praised in the same way that a dating somebody white is.
On the other end, there's festishization. Which is the ebb to the flow of post-colonalism. The concept of a fetish is pretty understandable to most considering the familiarity of pornography, and is centric on sexualizing stereotypes on a certain people that may not always be true. In simplest terms, there's a lot to Asian stereotypes but if we boil it down to plain rhetoric, there's the Virgin Vs. Whore dichotomy. On one end of the stereotype, pornography creates an image of Asian women as submissive and sexual creatures. On the other end, Asian women are cast as victims constantly crying for their white savior. Also, because of the power structures behind shadism, if you're a dark/Asian woman and you have children with a white man, giving them a lighter skin tone is a way for them to elevate class, which in itself is considered a gift to those children. Here's a good video that goes a little more into what it is like for Asian women to struggle with these stereotypes and the pressure to pursue relationships with white men:
Last summer,
I met a boy who spoke like rain against windows. -
He had his father's blue eyes.
He'd press his wrist against mine and say he was too pale.
That my skin was so much more beautiful.
To him, I was Pacific sunset,
almond milk, a porcelain cup.
When he left me, I told myself I should have seen it coming.
I wasn't sure I was sad but I cried anyway.
Girls who look like me
are supposed to cry over boys who look like him.
I'd seen all the movies and read all the books.
We were just following the plot.
Speaking from personal experience, my whole existence tethers on this dynamic. My mother comes from a culture that idolizes the white man, so falling in love with a white man was a lofty dream that was easy to do. On the other end, my dad constantly tells me that had it not been for Karate Kid, I would not exist! He said he never really was attracted to Asian women until watching it, and then he met my mother. These two notions are problematic, but that doesn't mean they're all bad. Also, just because an Asian and a white person are dating, doesn't mean that all this messy business goes into that context. This is just a historical/academic perspective but doesn't reign 100% for everyone. A lot of people don't take into account ethnicity or race or political history when dating someone. Sometimes, you just fall in love with who you fall in love with and it doesn't matter what their skin color is. Sometimes, you watch Karate Kid and make three daughters with an Asian woman.
As far as dating white people goes, I've primarily dated white boys in my past because where I live, most people are of Polish/German descent, so that's what's about. A colored lady is more likely to date a white boy when there are more white boys around. That's my personal stance. Honestly, lately I've been more vibing into dating people with more ethnic & academic backgrounds because I actually really like studying what I study and those two things come together into person I can have really intense and awesome conversations with, so it's less about their skin color and more about our shared/similiar experiences.
Sorry. Kind of rambly. Maybe got some holes. Ask any questions cuz this is totally mah thaaaang.
Wooo. Kabayan.
Anyway, I am Half Asian/German and I am into Caucasian girls, and Latinas and Asians... you know what,
let me just let Flight of the Concords say what I mean.
Anyway, I am Half Asian/German and I am into Caucasian girls, and Latinas and Asians... you know what,
let me just let Flight of the Concords say what I mean.
I don't care who dates/marries whom as long as they are good to each other and are happy together. Also, I'm living in Hawaii in a military community so I see people married to people of different heritages all the time.
Naiwen, it's occurred to me that you may not have experienced sonder yet. It happens to most people, but not all. It's the realization that everyone around you, every single human being, has a life as complicated as your own, has opinions shaped by experience and inner feelings, has memories, a mind, etc. It is less strange to find someone whose preferences differ from yours, and would be more strange if you found someone who saw everything exactly as you do. Each of us is a different person. It's strange to ask "why don't you see it my way?" It's a wiser assumption that someone is going to view things differently, because a person's way is only one way, but there are billions that are not.
In the same sense of your questions, one could ask you, why are you attracted to white guys? Hell, why are you even attracted to guys? I see nothing attractive about them, and can't fathom why anybody would want one.
In the same sense of your questions, one could ask you, why are you attracted to white guys? Hell, why are you even attracted to guys? I see nothing attractive about them, and can't fathom why anybody would want one.
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Yeah, I personally never have, but I have no preference against it. I have lots of friends who've interacially dated and married.How about, what is everyone's thoughts on Caucasians dating Asians?
My thoughts are... absolutely nothing. I'm white and dated 2 Asian girls (1 Japanese, 1 Chinese) but I don't think my experiences should be covered here.
I'll be blunt, if someone is living in a place like Canada and they don't find it acceptable for people of different races being together, then these people are better off going back to their country of origin. They missed the point of what Canada should be.
I definitely agree with the last statement.