The Random Crap Thread

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K

Kitty Sinatra

Yeah, I'm planning on wrapping this thing in ten layers. More if I'm feeling ambitious, less if I'm feeling lazy. Goo would have been awesome - or maybe even just confetti - but the cleanup seems like it would be atrocious.

As for 4 more lines of poetry on each layer . . . I, well, I wimped out at 5 total this year. And last year wasn't much better with 10 lines. Two limericks. Limericks might become my signatures. Although I may switch to haiku, since it's shorter, and there's no need for rhyming or even making any sense.

Good night. I'll be joining you in bed very shortly.
 
K

Kitty Sinatra

I was assuming she meant that toy goo stuff that kids like to play with, but now you got me thinking maybe Vyx is using some foreign Netherlingo that means something else.


Also, it's a boy's name.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
~Ohhhhh ohhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh,

Let's gooo flyyyy a kite!

Up tooo the hiiighest height!

Let's gooo flyy a kite and seeeend it sooooaring~

JEEBUS get out of my head!
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Cajungal said:
~Ohhhhh ohhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh,

Let's gooo flyyyy a kite!

Up tooo the hiiighest height!

Let's gooo flyy a kite and seeeend it sooooaring~

JEEBUS get out of my head!
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The power of John Williams compels you! Leave this poor woman!

*pokes CG with a conductor's stick*
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

Hermaphrodite humor is a little highbrow for some. I'll try to bring it down to your level next time, brain man.

EDIT:
This actually reminds me of the time in high school when my friend told me he found his dad's porn stash. He grabs a magazine and opens it right to a page with one chick, two dudes, and three penises. The look of shock on his face was breathtaking.

Ah, the heady, innocent days before the internet.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

LittleSin said:
Just stumbled upon my husbands porn folder.

All I can say is: Jesus CHRIST. I hope he doesn't want that from me.
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Have you thought of... asking him if that's what he wants? Better to find out now than when he walks into your bedroom with clown make-up, a ball gag, and a strap on.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

My parents filed their taxes back in March and got a refund. The check was mailed to them, so she still has the receipt/stub. A few weeks ago, they get a letter from the IRS saying they haven't filed their return yet. My mom sends them a copy of the return with a copy of the check receipt. Yesterday they got a letter saying they have now filed late and will be charged fees and interest. Can't wait to hear about how my mom made an IRS agent cry over the phone.
 
R

rabbitgod

At lunch today I saw a Jeep with Utah plates, driving here in Tucson, with surf boards strapped to the top.
 
Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

LittleSin said:
Just stumbled upon my husbands porn folder.

All I can say is: Jesus CHRIST. I hope he doesn't want that from me.
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I won't ask about WHAT it0s in that folder, because if you haven't shared already it wouldn't be polite to ask. But what I'm curious about is: how did you "stumble upon it"? And how was it stored/hidden?
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Dangit. I have 7:30 am classes forever til I graduate. :waah: Sleepin in every now and then is gonna be a biiiiig part of this vacation comin' up.

---------- Post added at 03:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:42 AM ----------

Don't you love that weird, early-early morning haze? Everything looks completely new and strange even though I've spent several hours a week here for the past semester. That "Welcome to the Lobby" poster looks like some kind of sinister gateway to an alternate dimension.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
That depends. One summer I was working the morning shift in a frozen food factory, and I had to cycle there at 5am every morning. The sunrises were quite spectacular, as was the view up-river, towards the cathedral. It looked like the whole sky had turned a hazy pink.
 
Vytamindi

Vytamindi

Just got this mass email in my school email.... whenever I write a mass email to all of the teachers I have to get it approved by the principal, who is very picky... How unprofessional!!!!!

[FONT="]Ok, put on your big girl panties for this one because I’m going to sound like a preacher in the pulpit on Sunday morning………first, someone is short papers that you need for you students. I know this because I have just finished cleaning out the copy machine which you left jammed. To top it off the culprit used MY COPY ####!!!!!! While I have allowed some of you to use my ### for various reasons, it is pretty brassy of you to continue to use it. Second….. WHEN YOU JAM A MACHINE CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS!!!! YOUR MOMMA DOESN’T WORK HERE AND WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS!!! Sorry to sound so crabby but it has not been a pleasant morning starting with the newspaper that someone continues to dump in the ditch in front of my house. Yes, I’m on that task next[/FONT][FONT="] Ya’ll have a nice weekend. I certainly plan to[/FONT]
 [FONT="]For all of you who in this choir with me, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS![/FONT]
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Jesus Christ! I don't bring my personal shit to school... and as someone who has a very important job at my school, you should know better!!!

I can't wait for this weekend....
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Vytamindi said:
Just got this mass email in my school email.... whenever I write a mass email to all of the teachers I have to get it approved by the principal, who is very picky... How unprofessional!!!!!

[FONT="]Ok, put on your big girl panties for this one because I’m going to sound like a preacher in the pulpit on Sunday morning………first, someone is short papers that you need for you students. I know this because I have just finished cleaning out the copy machine which you left jammed. To top it off the culprit used MY COPY ####!!!!!! While I have allowed some of you to use my ### for various reasons, it is pretty brassy of you to continue to use it. Second….. WHEN YOU JAM A MACHINE CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS!!!! YOUR MOMMA DOESN’T WORK HERE AND WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS!!! Sorry to sound so crabby but it has not been a pleasant morning starting with the newspaper that someone continues to dump in the ditch in front of my house. Yes, I’m on that task next[/FONT][FONT="] Ya’ll have a nice weekend. I certainly plan to[/FONT]
 [FONT="]For all of you who in this choir with me, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS![/FONT]
Click to expand...
Jesus Christ! I don't bring my personal shit to school... and as someone who has a very important job at my school, you should know better!!!

I can't wait for this weekend....
Click to expand...
http://bancomicsans.com/
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

Every time my wife hands me a jar to open, I suspect that she resents the fact that I actually do it.

IF I SUDDENLY STOP POSTING ONE DAY, THERE MAY VERY WELL BE A JAR OF PICKLES BEHIND MY DISAPPEARANCE!
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Here's a handy tip: if it's a metal top on a glass or other jar, let some hot water run over it for a while. The metal expands and thus becomes a little looser in its grooves.

If similar problem exists with, say, a plastic soda bottle cap, just put a piece of tissue paper on top of the cap and twist.
 
Gusto

Gusto

Put the jar out in the rain and wait until

a) it is ready to cooperate; or
b) God smites it with His lightning.
 
K

Kitty Sinatra

I'd open it for you. But I suspect the next time I'll have more than 1 day in a row off work is gonna be July. Can this wait till July?

Or, alternate opening method: Bang the lid on the edge at the top about 10 times with the handle of a butter knife. It dents the lid - you have to dent the lid - but the lid'll open.
 
Vytamindi

Vytamindi

I can open jars by myself! You take a can opener, and on the side there's a hook looking thing. wedge that under the lid until you hear the seal pop. Once you hear it, it's easy to open!
 
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