Have I died?

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Element 117

Dear Dave. You know those movies where a main character is dead, but they don't know it yet, and everyone seems to ignore their existence? I'm sure some might say this is a cry for attention, but it's more like a series of real life moments lately where say I'll be buying coffee or someone will want something from me, and as soon as I give them directions, or even sometimes before then, they just seem to forget I'm standing there? In truth, we all know what a fucked up person I am, so let's assume this happens because of my shitty daily drunk lifestyle, my question is, does this ever happen to you? It just feels weird, and yet given how much I dislike humanity as a whole, it also seems oddly humourously karmic. I mean, after all, gods know ive certainly used the ignore button here, right? But is it a common this in day to day life for others to socially ignore those they are transacting with?
 
Null

Null

It's possible that some are just trying to give you space instead of crowding in on you.

But yes, I've been through similar times. Sometimes it seems like I go days without anyone actually talking to me. I guess that's why I come here. It doesn't help that I work alone most of the time. Sure, I answer the phone, help the students cite sources or find them, etc - but for hours at a stretch I don't interact with anyone at all. It's an alienating feeling.
 
Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

I guess It's an usual feeling, as I once read about a "theory" about transitory invisibility wich makes people actually not be percieved by others. I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be taken as science (I didn't read the actual article, just somebody referncing it), but at least this makes me thing it¡s somethig that is not unusual.
 
D

Dusty668

Okay, honesty time Xiaofang, I was mucking around with something that is scary indeed, and for that I'll admit my levity was misguided.

Frankly I've had this feeling myself a lot, especially more so lately since it seems that when out walking or in a 'crowded' environment no one around seems to acknowledge other people, which of course translates directly to no one acknowledging me. This seems to happen more and more lately as folks wrap their contacts around them, media players, bluetooth devices,phones,etc, etc. It goes beyond alienation, more to the feeling of not being really attached. Light on the planet, as I call it, an errant breeze could just pull you away from all of this, and what would it matter.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Seems it's a perception thing. Often, unless the people dealing with you know you for who you are, they don't see you as anything other than the physical manifestation of the task you happen to be performing at the time.



--Patrick
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
What the hell happened to my answer? Someone call a mod! Damn. Now I have to try and remember what I wrote.

Dear Amy,

It's not you. Well, it's kind of you. What I mean by that is that people are probably not treating you any differently than they would any other stranger, but right now you are feeling alone and hyper-sensitive to those around you. In addition, your body language may be giving out a signal that says, "Please leave me alone." even if you don't mean to.

What concerns me is the tone of what it is you have posted. I know you have had some health and other personal issues in your life. Maybe it's time to go to a therapist and talk over your troubles. I mean, we are all here for you but sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes you need real Human interaction and communication that a therapist can offer you.

As I have said to others, if you need to talk simply give me a call, Skype or Vent me. If you call, just let my wife know who you are so I don't get into trouble. :biggrin:

Buck up, little camper! You'll be okay as long as you keep fighting.
 
C

Chibibar

Xiaofang Nuren said:
Dear Dave. You know those movies where a main character is dead, but they don't know it yet, and everyone seems to ignore their existence? I'm sure some might say this is a cry for attention, but it's more like a series of real life moments lately where say I'll be buying coffee or someone will want something from me, and as soon as I give them directions, or even sometimes before then, they just seem to forget I'm standing there? In truth, we all know what a fucked up person I am, so let's assume this happens because of my shitty daily drunk lifestyle, my question is, does this ever happen to you? It just feels weird, and yet given how much I dislike humanity as a whole, it also seems oddly humourously karmic. I mean, after all, gods know ive certainly used the ignore button here, right? But is it a common this in day to day life for others to socially ignore those they are transacting with?
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I agree in part with Dave, but I also think it is the society we are in. A lot of technology is around and people are more "aware" (maybe) Basically, it all depend on your body language and tone. If you are not "cheerful" in your greeting, the person might make a VERY minimal contact with you and be off their way. I think that is kinda crappy attitude. I try NOT to do that with anyone and try to cheer them up.

Does this happen to me? sure. As IT I get ignore all the time. I do talk loud sometimes (being part Chinese a bad habit I'm trying to break) and people sometimes run away from me when I talk :(
 
E

Element 117

Dammit, why hasn't anyone posted a reply yet?

Alternate response: Dave, I've called your house ten times. Someone picks up, but they always hang up while I'm trying to introduce myself
___
To the point:
So people stop talking to other strangers mid-transaction now? I mean it's one thing when an encounter is done, but it's weirding me out that I have to get the guy who wants the money I owe him to actually you know, remember I'm there. Ah, fuck it. I'll just get some more vodka. Vodka doesn't care if I have a pretty face or not to find me interesting. Vodka just demands to be inside me.
 
Shannow

Shannow

Staff member
Short answer...No.


long answer.....

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Xiaofang Nuren said:
Vodka just demands to be inside me.
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I knew changing my name was a good thing.

Another more serious answer:

All of your posts have alcohol in them as do your chats/IMs/emails. I'm now telling you that I'm certain you need someone to talk to. You should see a therapist and sooner rather than later. I know you are in pain, but alcohol just prolongs it and can even make it worse.

And if you ever call and someone hangs up on you I will smite them!
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Xiaofang Nuren said:
Vodka
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No.

Take it from someone who tried. Crawling into a bottle doesn't help, it usually leaves your mouth tasting like you just gave a rimjob to a cat, and it's a frickin' hard place to crawl out of if you manage to get deep enough.

Just saying, Amy. And my apologies for the joke. I still need to work on my tone reading.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

People go on at length about the wonders of taking an alcoholiday from Life. While I freely admit that alcohol has its place (and that I do enjoy it), I've never been put in a situation where I really wanted to continue beyond buzzitude all the way to clinically drunk.

--Patrick
 
C

Chibibar

Xiaofang Nuren said:
Dammit, why hasn't anyone posted a reply yet?

Alternate response: Dave, I've called your house ten times. Someone picks up, but they always hang up while I'm trying to introduce myself
___
To the point:
So people stop talking to other strangers mid-transaction now? I mean it's one thing when an encounter is done, but it's weirding me out that I have to get the guy who wants the money I owe him to actually you know, remember I'm there. Ah, fuck it. I'll just get some more vodka. Vodka doesn't care if I have a pretty face or not to find me interesting. Vodka just demands to be inside me.
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Working at a Community College I notice this happen more often that not :( Most of these kids (at least in my community college I work at) only pay attention to the info they need and then just tune you out regardless of what you are doing. Heck, I get tuned out in mid sentence couple of time when they are asking me for stuff.
 
E

Element 117

Chibibar said:
Working at a Community College I notice this happen more often that not :( Most of these kids (at least in my community college I work at) only pay attention to the info they need and then just tune you out regardless of what you are doing. Heck, I get tuned out in mid sentence couple of time when they are asking me for stuff.
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this is exactly what I mean!

As for the alcoholiday, I'm so stealing that term.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Chibs, admittedly I get the same feeling if I'm in a group where there's a lot of people who know each other but don't know me that well. They may at first include me in their conversations, but more and more they start going in the direction dictated by their own mutual likes and dislikes - and physically distancing themselves from me.

That's why I prefer to have just a few (2-4) friends over, instead of some big party.
 
C

Chibibar

North_Ranger said:
Chibs, admittedly I get the same feeling if I'm in a group where there's a lot of people who know each other but don't know me that well. They may at first include me in their conversations, but more and more they start going in the direction dictated by their own mutual likes and dislikes - and physically distancing themselves from me.

That's why I prefer to have just a few (2-4) friends over, instead of some big party.
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Heck, I get that from one to one conversation with these "kids" I know what Amy's feeling from that perspective. Sometimes I wonder if everyone just have ADD ADHD or whatever they got that cause this. I try not to worry too much cause it just hurts my head.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Yeah... People can be assholes.

But then there's the pleasant exceptions. Today for instance for me. We, the actors at this summer's Medieval Market, had a lecture at Turku Castle (yes, there's a frickin' castle here) about Medieval hierarchy. The castle is a good hike away from my home, but I decided to walk it with some friends, to set plans for the Eve of May (the Finnish version of Mardi Gras, only with less bare boobies and more communists giving speeches), and generally just chat. We talked about a lot of things, roleplaying, women's status in the Medieval hierarchy, I tried to enlist them to a Changeling: the Lost game I'm thinking of running for fun, the creep factor of circumcision as a medical procedure, pros and cons of abortion, fun things about Ireland and the necessity of showers in student housing. It felt like we were just moving along, and by the time I had to split and go to my place, I looked at the watch and wondered "Wow, it really took an hour to walk back? It felt like fifteen minutes, tops".

The right company can do wonders :)
 
Morphine

Morphine

I don't think I've ever felt like that. Never really invisible.
On the other hand, I'm the kind of person who always pays attention to the ignored ones, the one who's always friends with the underdog or the quiet guy that sits in the corner whose name nobody knows, the cleaning lady, the old security guard.

I dislike humanity as a whole but I normally like people individually, if that makes sense.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Morphine said:
I don't think I've ever felt like that. Never really invisible.
On the other hand, I'm the kind of person who always pays attention to the ignored ones, the one who's always friends with the underdog or the quiet guy that sits in the corner whose name nobody knows, the cleaning lady, the old security guard.

I dislike humanity as a whole but I normally like people individually, if that makes sense.
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In Finnish we have a saying: Joukossa tyhmyys tiivistyy.

Rough translation would be "In a group there is a concentration of stupidity". Does that kinda apply?
 
Null

Null

Chibibar;377317][QUOTE=Xiaofang Nuren said:
Dammit, why hasn't anyone posted a reply yet?

Alternate response: Dave, I've called your house ten times. Someone picks up, but they always hang up while I'm trying to introduce myself
___
To the point:
So people stop talking to other strangers mid-transaction now? I mean it's one thing when an encounter is done, but it's weirding me out that I have to get the guy who wants the money I owe him to actually you know, remember I'm there. Ah, fuck it. I'll just get some more vodka. Vodka doesn't care if I have a pretty face or not to find me interesting. Vodka just demands to be inside me.
Click to expand...
Working at a Community College I notice this happen more often that not :( Most of these kids (at least in my community college I work at) only pay attention to the info they need and then just tune you out regardless of what you are doing. Heck, I get tuned out in mid sentence couple of time when they are asking me for stuff.[/QUOTE]

God, that fucking annoys me. Tonight some girl asked me for help finding literary criticisms, and as I'm explaining how to look for them, showing her where our sets of literary criticisms are, she starts texting somebody like I'm not even there.
 
S

Soliloquy

Maybe it's always been this way, but I feel like the social skills of the nation have plummeted to the point where no one in my generation knows how to deal with anyone else.

That's just one of the many reasons that I have this "the end is nigh" feeling about our society. I usually don't share it, though, because I realize that it probably means I'm a nutjob.
 
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