not so serious but I want to rant II: Redemption

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makare

I have these two ditzy coworkers who, coincidentally, are both blond. They drive me batty. The first one was telling me about how she wants to be in PR but isn’t very good at persuading people. She is great at manipulating people, she said, well guys anyway. Guys are putty in her hands. But women, women are bitches. The other one has a bizarre monotone voice, I swear she is a female Ben Stein. So you can’t tell when she is joking. We were setting these little kids up with bikes and I asked them if they wanted helmets. They were hemming and hawing about it and she said, in her creepy monotone, “If you don’t wear a helmet… you will die.” The kids and their mom were obviously freaked out. I was like, wtf!?
They are both dingy. The second is constantly saying “oh well I didn’t think of that” well wtf are you thinking then? Shit. The other doesn’t realize that you shouldn’t talk shit about your boss and she does it constantly! I am amused by the fact that each of them accuses the other of making blondes look bad. LOL.

The bright spot is the chick who teaches the classes in the park. She is older about 24, the others are 18-19. We have good conversations and she cracks me up. She isn’t around enough though. Sigh.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

makare said:
The other one has a bizarre monotone voice, I swear she is a female Ben Stein. So you can’t tell when she is joking. We were setting these little kids up with bikes and I asked them if they wanted helmets. They were hemming and hawing about it and she said, in her creepy monotone, “If you don’t wear a helmet… you will die.” The kids and their mom were obviously freaked out. I was like, wtf!? .
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I get what you're saying about clueless coworkers, but I wish you had a video of this part, because it sounds hilarious.
 
M

makare

I agree completely. I was talking to the chick I liked about how I would watch a reality show about the monotone chick and her interactions with people. It would be a laugh riot.

I made an awful pun today and no one got it. I didn't even get a groan!

I was riding to work with two of the maintenance guys and one said to the other, "since we have to hold our cellphones up high to get reception do you think jesus has to hold his down low" *teehees* I said, "I'd think Jesus would have immaculate reception" *crickets* They didn't get it. I didn't expect them to bust a gut laughing because I am not all that impressed with puns either but come on, that is an obvious joke.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
That's comedy gold, baby! The fact they didn't laugh at that means that they are morons and beneath our contempt.
 
M

makare

Well Im back for another round of makare bitches about her coworkers. This one is actually not not so serious but I thought why split up a set.

One of my coworkers is a racist asshole. I can't stand it and I do not know what to do. Today this lady came through and asked if they still have mass at the church up in the tribal community. I said they do but I don't know the time. She left. The coworker said "I would never go into that church, probably get stabbed. Probably just a bunch of filthy indians sitting around with mugs of liquor blah blah blah" I said it is a perfectly nice church and he said it's a nice church he will never go into.
Then he goes on this diatribe about the whole tribal community. I am barely holding it together because I really do not want to fight with my coworker we have weeks to work together yet. I can't afford hostility with him. So I just labor mightily to tune him out. But then it is "blah blah blah blah Prairie nigger".

Have you ever been so angry that all the blood rushes from your head and you feel like you are going to pass out? Well that is what happened. I didn't respond to him I just took some deep breathes. He said, "ya ever hear that before, Prairie nigger har har har" I said yeah actually we had a problem with a bunch of redneck assholes in my university town using that term.
He didn't say anything. I went on to very calmly explain that I have a very positive attitude towards the Lakota tribal communities and, as trite as it sounds, that many of my closest friends are native, and that I have always felt a part of the culture even though I am white.

He said that the people he came in contact with gave the rest a bad name.

Now seriously if you realize that is happening can't you do something to guard against it?

We changed the subject. I am thinking of going to my boss about it because I think this guy is rude to our native guests and I don't think he is a good representative for the Game, Fish and Parks. Especially at this particular park which already has a tense relationship with the tribe on the reservation nearby because the land was taken by the corps relatively recently.
 
Tress

Tress

Doing some job hunting, even though this is a bad month to look for teaching positions. I come across what appears to be a nice position at a local high school. I click on details and see the usual requirements, until I get to the bottom:

"Must be fluent in Spanish and Cantonese."

Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck is going to be fluent in both languages, have strong communication skills in English, be certified in that subject area, and be looking for a starting teaching position?
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

makare said:
as trite as it sounds, that many of my closest friends are native, and that I have always felt a part of the culture even though I am white.
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You're not a racist, your best friends are natives?

I couldn't resist! :D

Going to your boss and speaking peacefully about it is probably the way to go; last thing boss probably wants is for him to blurt any of that shit to a guest.
 
Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

When we were teens, I was dating a Mexican while my sister was dating a Puerto Rican, and a relative said "I guess you two just don't like white people."

:awesome:
 
Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

Ah! Now I got it!
Yeah, I can see how that's funny XD

(But what is the "correct" generic term then for people of the "original" ethnicity of a place?)
 
M

makare

no i think the joke is that people who claim to be not racist are constantly saying "some of my best friends are native/black/asian/etc"

that is why i was laughing at myself. it was so cliche.
 
Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

makare said:
no i think the joke is that people who claim to be not racist are constantly saying "some of my best friends are native/black/asian/etc"

that is why i was laughing at myself. it was so cliche.
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Damn, I do it with gay people.





:awesome:



( Sorry, couldn't resist turning my phrasing into a completely unrelated pun )
 
figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
At church tonight I ran into one of the girls who was in our mid-high youth group the last time I was volunteering as a leader. Trying to figure out how much time had passed since then, I asked her how old she is now. "I'm twenty-one," she replied. The shock must have been written on my face, because she made some sort of joke about the passage of time.

When did they allow children to turn 21? I thought you were supposed to be an adult by that time! Maybe my memory is just getting in the way of present reality.
 
Mathias

Mathias

makare said:
Well Im back for another round of makare bitches about her coworkers. This one is actually not not so serious but I thought why split up a set.

One of my coworkers is a racist asshole. I can't stand it and I do not know what to do. Today this lady came through and asked if they still have mass at the church up in the tribal community. I said they do but I don't know the time. She left. The coworker said "I would never go into that church, probably get stabbed. Probably just a bunch of filthy indians sitting around with mugs of liquor blah blah blah" I said it is a perfectly nice church and he said it's a nice church he will never go into.
Then he goes on this diatribe about the whole tribal community. I am barely holding it together because I really do not want to fight with my coworker we have weeks to work together yet. I can't afford hostility with him. So I just labor mightily to tune him out. But then it is "blah blah blah blah Prairie nigger".

Have you ever been so angry that all the blood rushes from your head and you feel like you are going to pass out? Well that is what happened. I didn't respond to him I just took some deep breathes. He said, "ya ever hear that before, Prairie nigger har har har" I said yeah actually we had a problem with a bunch of redneck assholes in my university town using that term.
He didn't say anything. I went on to very calmly explain that I have a very positive attitude towards the Lakota tribal communities and, as trite as it sounds, that many of my closest friends are native, and that I have always felt a part of the culture even though I am white.

He said that the people he came in contact with gave the rest a bad name.

Now seriously if you realize that is happening can't you do something to guard against it?

We changed the subject. I am thinking of going to my boss about it because I think this guy is rude to our native guests and I don't think he is a good representative for the Game, Fish and Parks. Especially at this particular park which already has a tense relationship with the tribe on the reservation nearby because the land was taken by the corps relatively recently.
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You should have told him, "at least they're not smelly Hawaiians."
 
General Specific

General Specific

You know when you get a soda, pop the top of it and go to take a sip only to have it dribbled down your shirt because the can was fuller than expected? That has happened to me with 4 sodas in a row now. 2 Coke Zeroes and 2 Diet Dr. Peppers.

And before anyone suggests, I have already thought of this scenario:
 
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