After all the tales of woe and abuse and bullying and such I don't really have a sad tale to tell. Mine is mostly self-inflicted (chemically or otherwise) pain.
I was born in the north to two people who should never have been married. My mom kind of forced my dad into marriage and he was (and still is) too much of a man-child (something I take after him far too much..) to handle the responsibilities of husband and father. I had a pretty good childhood otherwise though. I grew up in a small town. Had friends. Some of which I'm still close too. Like brothers. Had some pretty good times. Had my first sexual experience with a girl I was babysat with before either of us were old enough to understand what it was we were doing. I have a feeling she knew what it was all about because I suspect she was a product of molestation in her life but I never had the courage to ask her when we reconnected a couple of years ago after not seeing each other for over a decade. She's married with children now, but her's isn't the story I should be telling.
We moved to Edmonton when I was 10 years old. This was a sort of rough period in my life because this is when my father decided it was best to run away with the car and leave my brothers and I without a father. The lack of a father through my formative years is probably the reason I still strive to achieve the respect and admiration of my father I know I will never get but it really wasn't so bad with him gone. It was likely for the best overall as as I've written earlier, he was never capable of being a good dad. This was also the period in my life where I started to get fat, putting on weight at a general pace (until it went into overdrive when I was injured very badly in football in high school and couldn't exercise at all). Even being a fat kid, I was never really the target of bullying as I was never really someone to take shit from people even though I was never in a real fight all through my schooling.
Throughout high school I battled with depression, which is not uncommon. It really hurt my relationships with people and with my longtime girlfriend I had been seeing since grade 10 and my grades were nothing to be proud of due to my less than exemplary attendance. High school again, other than my own issues, was not a bad time in my life. I had a lot of good friends in many different social circles and due to being on the football team (an asset due to my rather large size at the time) didn't even have the normal problems fat kids would have with the jocky kids.
When I graduated I fell into a self-destructive pothead lifestyle of laziness and Hawkins Cheezies. After a year or so my girlfriend gave me an ultimatum of getting my shit together. I didn't and she was history. I was so angry at her at the time but looking back, I was such a piece of shit she had every right to say the things she did to me and more. After this is when I decided that I had to get my life together. Still living with my mom (even after both of my younger brothers had left the nest to become normal human beings) I spent nearly a year undoing the damage I had done to my body and applied to the RCMP. I got in just under the wire (not being a visible minority, but still being technically metis, meant that I had to have higher than average test scores. A system I find kind of bullshit, but whatcha gonna do?) with my scores and barely passed the PE requirements (a year was not enough to undo all the damage) but it was enough to be accepted into Depot (the academy).
Depot was the hardest 6 months of my life physically and emotionally but I wouldn't trade the training or the friendships I made for anything. I would trade the amount of male taint I was exposed to and would rather forget that fucking game forever. During Depot I earned my cross rifles patch and was one of only two in my troop to do so (I found out I was a surprisingly good shot). After training I was sent up to the old shithole I served in for over 4 years until recently being transferred to K div in Edmonton to be what basically amounts to as a bitch/assistant to a major crimes Corporal.
Yup.
I was born in the north to two people who should never have been married. My mom kind of forced my dad into marriage and he was (and still is) too much of a man-child (something I take after him far too much..) to handle the responsibilities of husband and father. I had a pretty good childhood otherwise though. I grew up in a small town. Had friends. Some of which I'm still close too. Like brothers. Had some pretty good times. Had my first sexual experience with a girl I was babysat with before either of us were old enough to understand what it was we were doing. I have a feeling she knew what it was all about because I suspect she was a product of molestation in her life but I never had the courage to ask her when we reconnected a couple of years ago after not seeing each other for over a decade. She's married with children now, but her's isn't the story I should be telling.
We moved to Edmonton when I was 10 years old. This was a sort of rough period in my life because this is when my father decided it was best to run away with the car and leave my brothers and I without a father. The lack of a father through my formative years is probably the reason I still strive to achieve the respect and admiration of my father I know I will never get but it really wasn't so bad with him gone. It was likely for the best overall as as I've written earlier, he was never capable of being a good dad. This was also the period in my life where I started to get fat, putting on weight at a general pace (until it went into overdrive when I was injured very badly in football in high school and couldn't exercise at all). Even being a fat kid, I was never really the target of bullying as I was never really someone to take shit from people even though I was never in a real fight all through my schooling.
Throughout high school I battled with depression, which is not uncommon. It really hurt my relationships with people and with my longtime girlfriend I had been seeing since grade 10 and my grades were nothing to be proud of due to my less than exemplary attendance. High school again, other than my own issues, was not a bad time in my life. I had a lot of good friends in many different social circles and due to being on the football team (an asset due to my rather large size at the time) didn't even have the normal problems fat kids would have with the jocky kids.
When I graduated I fell into a self-destructive pothead lifestyle of laziness and Hawkins Cheezies. After a year or so my girlfriend gave me an ultimatum of getting my shit together. I didn't and she was history. I was so angry at her at the time but looking back, I was such a piece of shit she had every right to say the things she did to me and more. After this is when I decided that I had to get my life together. Still living with my mom (even after both of my younger brothers had left the nest to become normal human beings) I spent nearly a year undoing the damage I had done to my body and applied to the RCMP. I got in just under the wire (not being a visible minority, but still being technically metis, meant that I had to have higher than average test scores. A system I find kind of bullshit, but whatcha gonna do?) with my scores and barely passed the PE requirements (a year was not enough to undo all the damage) but it was enough to be accepted into Depot (the academy).
Depot was the hardest 6 months of my life physically and emotionally but I wouldn't trade the training or the friendships I made for anything. I would trade the amount of male taint I was exposed to and would rather forget that fucking game forever. During Depot I earned my cross rifles patch and was one of only two in my troop to do so (I found out I was a surprisingly good shot). After training I was sent up to the old shithole I served in for over 4 years until recently being transferred to K div in Edmonton to be what basically amounts to as a bitch/assistant to a major crimes Corporal.
Yup.
