M
makare
decor therapy
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doomdragon6
Staff member
I think the best thing ever
Guys
I think
Guys
The best thing ever
Guys
I think the best thing ever
Would be
Guys
Would be if this person
Was
Guys
Was a first time poster who really wanted to talk about his passion.
And we said "Fuck you."
Guys
I think
Guys
The best thing ever
Guys
I think the best thing ever
Would be
Guys
Would be if this person
Was
Guys
Was a first time poster who really wanted to talk about his passion.
And we said "Fuck you."
Detective Sean Beck was one of, if not the best, partners I ever had.
I can still remember the night he told me about his big retirement plan. We were staking out some meth dealer's apartment, silently waiting in his shitty Toyota Camry. The air inside the car was thick with the smell of old air fresheners and the smoke from the cigarettes we had just lit. We hadn't said a word for hours, just watching the entrance and listening to the feed from the bug. Sean had finally broken the silence.
"What do you think you'll do, after this?"
"Sleep. Haven't had any in a while."
"No, I mean after THIS. All this. After you quit the force."
"Oh...Shit, I dunno. Haven't thought about it."
He looked at me for a moment, letting out a small laugh before turning his gaze back to the apartment's entrance. He didn't push the matter further, but his body screamed out that he wanted to. He kept looking down at his hands on the steering wheel, then to me, and then back to the entrance.
"Why? What do YOU want to do after you retire?"
He didn't answer at first, just turned to look up at the apartment windows. "Drapes."
"What?"
"Drapes." He turned back to face me. "You know, curtains and shit. Setting up arrangements."
I didn't respond, just quietly looked him over through the smokey haze. He was shitting me, he had to be.
"I know, I know. But...Marie and I...we were redecorating the kitchen the other day. She had bought new drapes and was so excited to put them up. And...I don't know; she just looked perfect trying to put them up. Wrapped up in that scarlet cloth..."
I couldn't hold in my laughter at this point. "So, what, you're going to just go in to curtain work because you like how your wife looks around them?"
"There's more to it than that! I think I'm quite good at it...I got 'em arranged all nice...The kitchen really pops now, y'know?"
"Yeah, sure. Hey, after this you maybe want to go get our nails done? Braid each other's hair?"
He waved me off, opening his door as he did so. "Fuck you. I'm going to go take a leak. Keep an eye out, yeah?"
I couldn't stop chuckling as he walked towards some nearby bushes. Truth be told I didn't really give a shit what he did with his life, but Sean always put off this macho attitude. To hear he was in to something like interior design was enough to raise a laugh out of me. In fact, I could probably get a few more good jokes in. I rolled my window down to stick my head out.
"Hey, I was just kidding! We could eat ice cream and watch Sex in th-"
A gunshot. From where I didn't know, but Sean was down on the ground. Letting out a few expletives I bolted out of the car to where his body was, crumpled near the bush. I dragged him behind the car, the occasional bullet impacting around us. Once he was safe from the line of fire, I radioed for backup. Looking at him, I could tell it wasn't good. He was breathing;moaning, but there was a ton of blood coming from his waist.
"My legs...I can't feel my legs."
"Just stay still, Sean. Help's on the way."
"The drapes, Chip. The drapes."
"I know, you'll be the best damn interior designer Sean. Now just stay still."
"Third...floor...If they switched to a fuchsia, or lavender...The window would really....pop..."
I can still remember the night he told me about his big retirement plan. We were staking out some meth dealer's apartment, silently waiting in his shitty Toyota Camry. The air inside the car was thick with the smell of old air fresheners and the smoke from the cigarettes we had just lit. We hadn't said a word for hours, just watching the entrance and listening to the feed from the bug. Sean had finally broken the silence.
"What do you think you'll do, after this?"
"Sleep. Haven't had any in a while."
"No, I mean after THIS. All this. After you quit the force."
"Oh...Shit, I dunno. Haven't thought about it."
He looked at me for a moment, letting out a small laugh before turning his gaze back to the apartment's entrance. He didn't push the matter further, but his body screamed out that he wanted to. He kept looking down at his hands on the steering wheel, then to me, and then back to the entrance.
"Why? What do YOU want to do after you retire?"
He didn't answer at first, just turned to look up at the apartment windows. "Drapes."
"What?"
"Drapes." He turned back to face me. "You know, curtains and shit. Setting up arrangements."
I didn't respond, just quietly looked him over through the smokey haze. He was shitting me, he had to be.
"I know, I know. But...Marie and I...we were redecorating the kitchen the other day. She had bought new drapes and was so excited to put them up. And...I don't know; she just looked perfect trying to put them up. Wrapped up in that scarlet cloth..."
I couldn't hold in my laughter at this point. "So, what, you're going to just go in to curtain work because you like how your wife looks around them?"
"There's more to it than that! I think I'm quite good at it...I got 'em arranged all nice...The kitchen really pops now, y'know?"
"Yeah, sure. Hey, after this you maybe want to go get our nails done? Braid each other's hair?"
He waved me off, opening his door as he did so. "Fuck you. I'm going to go take a leak. Keep an eye out, yeah?"
I couldn't stop chuckling as he walked towards some nearby bushes. Truth be told I didn't really give a shit what he did with his life, but Sean always put off this macho attitude. To hear he was in to something like interior design was enough to raise a laugh out of me. In fact, I could probably get a few more good jokes in. I rolled my window down to stick my head out.
"Hey, I was just kidding! We could eat ice cream and watch Sex in th-"
A gunshot. From where I didn't know, but Sean was down on the ground. Letting out a few expletives I bolted out of the car to where his body was, crumpled near the bush. I dragged him behind the car, the occasional bullet impacting around us. Once he was safe from the line of fire, I radioed for backup. Looking at him, I could tell it wasn't good. He was breathing;moaning, but there was a ton of blood coming from his waist.
"My legs...I can't feel my legs."
"Just stay still, Sean. Help's on the way."
"The drapes, Chip. The drapes."
"I know, you'll be the best damn interior designer Sean. Now just stay still."
"Third...floor...If they switched to a fuchsia, or lavender...The window would really....pop..."
....the hell?
You, sir, are about 6.8 kinds of awesome. That's a lot of kinds.
Man, Jeffrey Tambor really hasn't dealt well with Arrested Development's treatment, has he?
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