Pft. WHat are you smoking? That sounds totally legit!
WTF Moments
- Thread starter LittleSin
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Trust me, there is a way of knowing what story this friend says was true or not. If it's only a sentence or two, it's a lie. "Oh yeah I know Art Spiegelman, he's a furry and goes by Gray-fur at conventions." If his true stories last more than five minutes, then their true. His life is too interesting to lie for five minutes. I remember one time he broke both his arms when his friend was trying to pick him up. I was there. Didn't really bug him since he had like, no sense of any pain at all any more. His mom could not believe that he got injured again...for the third time in two months.His entire existance was a WTF moment to me. Man I miss that guy.
Okay enough about my possibly insane friend.
Greenwich village...at night. It is both horrifying, and hilarious. Some gay guy was standing with cut jean-shorts and a snapple bottle saying to me and my brother "Hey big boy, you wanna get fuuucked-uup!" like 3 times! Me and my brother have been saying that to each other for years, laughin our asses off.
Greenwich village...at night. It is both horrifying, and hilarious. Some gay guy was standing with cut jean-shorts and a snapple bottle saying to me and my brother "Hey big boy, you wanna get fuuucked-uup!" like 3 times! Me and my brother have been saying that to each other for years, laughin our asses off.
That's a lie, you made that up.
The same way I made up what I just said.
MIND FREAK!
For accuracy: that's the second-worst lie I've ever heard. I am mystified you think it could be true because it took more than a sentence to tell.
S
SeraRelm
One time my friend punched a hole in reality and ate the stuff that came out then defecated a huge mess that coalesced into a mass resembling Lady Gaga.
Oh wait, that's a lie. It didn't resemble Lady Gaga.
It was Lady Gaga.
Oh wait, that's a lie. It didn't resemble Lady Gaga.
It was Lady Gaga.
B
BErt
One time one of my friends and Ms. Krabapple were In the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
True Story.
True Story.
Wasn't that in one of her videos?
And in other news: Japanese researchers use crabs to perform binary computations.
Responded to a person with a knife call the other day. Call read that the guy had heated up a knife and was threatening to cut himself.
Arrived onscene, where I found that the guy had carved around his eyes from his temples to his nose in a sort of inverted mirrored "r" pattern, and a slice on his chin like he was trying to give it a cleft. It was a couple days old, and not the first time he'd done something like this.
I, as the CIT officer there, ha to talk to him and find out what his mental state was. His response? "I just gotta stand out from the crowd, I guess."
His two daughters started bawling when I convinced him to go talk to a doctor and convince him that he wasn't crazy. He obviously loved them a lot, even if he scared his wife (unintentionally - he's never hurt anyone else.)
Believe it or not, this was the LOW-key call for the day.
Arrived onscene, where I found that the guy had carved around his eyes from his temples to his nose in a sort of inverted mirrored "r" pattern, and a slice on his chin like he was trying to give it a cleft. It was a couple days old, and not the first time he'd done something like this.
I, as the CIT officer there, ha to talk to him and find out what his mental state was. His response? "I just gotta stand out from the crowd, I guess."
His two daughters started bawling when I convinced him to go talk to a doctor and convince him that he wasn't crazy. He obviously loved them a lot, even if he scared his wife (unintentionally - he's never hurt anyone else.)
Believe it or not, this was the LOW-key call for the day.
Holy shit. And also, that will not help with job interviews, except at the sideshow.
One of my most WTF moments (regarding living people anyway) was responding to a domestic disturbance call on a reserve back when I was a rookie and not completely jaded to the realities of the situation in a lot of northern Canadian reserves. The house looked like your stereotypical low income, hillbilly horror show. Lawn made of mud, tires, and car frames. Literally tonnes of garbage strewn all over the place. The man we were looking for had a lot of warrants out for his arrest for various things such as failure to appear and the like. I didn't expect the inside to make the outside look like a well manicured palatial estate.
Inside was some of the most egregious shit I have ever laid eyes on. The floor was a mess of broken bottles, mold, rotting carpet, cans, pizza boxes, fried chicken buckets, bones and the smell was a mixture of rotten milk and shit. In the kids' room we found 3 barely clothed young boys and a baby girl with a bottle filled with, and I shit you not, Coca Cola. The mother was passed out absolutely hammered drunk in the bedroom with the look of being recently beaten. We searched the house and had figured that the man had bolted as he usually did whenever we were called out (it's an hours drive from the detachment to this particular reserve). So, we called for an ambulance and for social services (usually fruitless, it takes at least two murders to take kids away from situations like these it seems).
While we were waiting my partner and I heard some scratching in the closet. We had checked the closet earlier and hadn't seen anything through the mess. I opened it and continued to hear something coming from the wall. Upon closer inspection we found the man we were looking for had carved himself a cubby inside the wall of his closet and he would hide in whenever we were called (he was incredibly skinny). We later learned he had evaded capture multiple times this way.
The joys of being an understaffed detachment in the middle of such a vast stretch of squalor and misery.
Inside was some of the most egregious shit I have ever laid eyes on. The floor was a mess of broken bottles, mold, rotting carpet, cans, pizza boxes, fried chicken buckets, bones and the smell was a mixture of rotten milk and shit. In the kids' room we found 3 barely clothed young boys and a baby girl with a bottle filled with, and I shit you not, Coca Cola. The mother was passed out absolutely hammered drunk in the bedroom with the look of being recently beaten. We searched the house and had figured that the man had bolted as he usually did whenever we were called out (it's an hours drive from the detachment to this particular reserve). So, we called for an ambulance and for social services (usually fruitless, it takes at least two murders to take kids away from situations like these it seems).
While we were waiting my partner and I heard some scratching in the closet. We had checked the closet earlier and hadn't seen anything through the mess. I opened it and continued to hear something coming from the wall. Upon closer inspection we found the man we were looking for had carved himself a cubby inside the wall of his closet and he would hide in whenever we were called (he was incredibly skinny). We later learned he had evaded capture multiple times this way.
The joys of being an understaffed detachment in the middle of such a vast stretch of squalor and misery.
I've been laughing at this for 3 days.
S
SeraRelm
Was it smoking?
B
BErt
BananaHands
Staff member
ElJuski
Staff member
I mean, I love it, but the Simpsons obsessive is torn apart on the inside because it's "Krabappel." At the same time it made me think of "Bart's teacher is named Krabappel? I've been calling her Crandall. Why didn't someone tell me? Oh, I've been making an idiot out of myself!"
BananaHands
Staff member
Oh, look. ElJuski is doing the thing he always complains about!
WTF Moments indeed!
WTF Moments indeed!
Speaking of Krabapple, the front desk person at my kids' school is Crabtree
Are they frequently Rancid?
ElJuski
Staff member
Darkest Timeline.Oh, look. ElJuski is doing the thing he always complains about!
WTF Moments indeed!
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