Video Games and Porn = Same Thing
- Thread starter Jay
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Yeah, the CNN article is:
A) an editorial, and therefore dripping with opinion.
B) sensationalized to all hell.
C) most likely a vast oversimplification of the work presented in the book.
I've had an entire class on Dr. Zimbardo's work, and while he can be a little "showboaty" at times, he's still a good scientist with some real insight into motivation and manipulation factors.
A) an editorial, and therefore dripping with opinion.
B) sensationalized to all hell.
C) most likely a vast oversimplification of the work presented in the book.
I've had an entire class on Dr. Zimbardo's work, and while he can be a little "showboaty" at times, he's still a good scientist with some real insight into motivation and manipulation factors.
I had an interesting conversation with a female friend last night, wherein she described the growing problem of dudes wanting to do everything they see in porn and nothing else... even on first dates. Of course this is just anecdotal evidence, but she was recalling times when guys have tried to skip much of the date and go to the bedroom, where they then have a list of things they want to do that sound like they were taken point by point from a porn script. And of course these things are not terribly fun for the girl; they're just designed to treat them like playthings. So I'll buy the argument that too much porn can warp guys minds into unreasonable expectations.
The problem I have is bridging the gap between porn and games, and blaming games for the ills of a generation.
The problem I have is bridging the gap between porn and games, and blaming games for the ills of a generation.
Nobody blames Oprah and Romance Novels for making women unapproachable.
Tell me more details Tress. Does this really happen? I'm shocked.... and amused.
To answer you shortly though, if a guy expects to have sex with a girl on the first date and then pushes his luck that the girl will provide him that type of enjoyment he's a total dipshit.
I still don't see the relation between porn and games, to even think it is asinine. Might as well associate construction detours and suicides.
Just nope.
To answer you shortly though, if a guy expects to have sex with a girl on the first date and then pushes his luck that the girl will provide him that type of enjoyment he's a total dipshit.
I still don't see the relation between porn and games, to even think it is asinine. Might as well associate construction detours and suicides.
Just nope.
I can only relate what I've heard. I have three female friends who all share bits of their romance and sex lives with me. On separate occasions, each one has told me stories of guys who don't seem to understand the difference between porn and sex with an actual woman. The first time I heard about this, it was a friend who was having sex with a guy she had been seeing for a couple of months. They were in bed, in the middle of sex, when he (without a word) flipped her over and tried to initiate anal sex. He just straight up tried to ram it in without warning. Naturally this hurt her pretty bad. The worst part of the story was that he was completely dumbfounded. He thought that it would just slide right in without any trouble, so he just tried to batter his way in. After all, it looked so easy on porn.
The second story was a few years later from a different friend. She related all sorts of tales from guys who, during the first time they were going to have sex, asked or suggested ridiculous things. One guy wanted to ejaculate on her face - right off the bat. On guy told her he only did anal, nothing else, and he wasn't interesting in trying anything else. One told her what her safe word would be so that, after he had thoroughly "punished" her later on, she could let him know when to stop. He bragged about how he enjoyed getting women to use their safe words, which is totally not how that should work.
Then there were the stories last night. As I mentioned earlier, apparently my friend has been having a terrible streak of luck with guys wanting to basically re-enact their favorite porn scenes. One had a routine that he explained (first we do this, then you'll do this, then we do this...). What she wants doesn't come up with these guys, it's just them explaining or pushing for the things they want to do.
By now you get the point, but the #1 complaint I hear is guys wanting to have anal sex right away. It's the only thing some of them are interested in, and they don't seem to understand why a) some/many women aren't interested, or b) why even the interested women need to build up a little trust and a bond before moving past the basics.
The second story was a few years later from a different friend. She related all sorts of tales from guys who, during the first time they were going to have sex, asked or suggested ridiculous things. One guy wanted to ejaculate on her face - right off the bat. On guy told her he only did anal, nothing else, and he wasn't interesting in trying anything else. One told her what her safe word would be so that, after he had thoroughly "punished" her later on, she could let him know when to stop. He bragged about how he enjoyed getting women to use their safe words, which is totally not how that should work.
Then there were the stories last night. As I mentioned earlier, apparently my friend has been having a terrible streak of luck with guys wanting to basically re-enact their favorite porn scenes. One had a routine that he explained (first we do this, then you'll do this, then we do this...). What she wants doesn't come up with these guys, it's just them explaining or pushing for the things they want to do.
By now you get the point, but the #1 complaint I hear is guys wanting to have anal sex right away. It's the only thing some of them are interested in, and they don't seem to understand why a) some/many women aren't interested, or b) why even the interested women need to build up a little trust and a bond before moving past the basics.
omg its a woman on the internet i don't know how to talk to you can i see your boobs blargh
Unfortunately, I can only confirm this. Especially one generation below me (though I've heard similar stories from my generation and even a bit older) it's getting worse. Some men also seem to be genuinely convinced that the standard
(which always annoys me oh-so-much in porn, god people, be creative!) is the standard accepted method of doing things. I honestly don't understand. Same for, indeed,
The idea of sex as a loving bond between two (or more
) people, or sex as an enjoyable hobby to be done together, seems not to enter into their minds. It's a sport.
"oral-vaginal-anal-oral-finish-manually-on-her-face"
the man completely controlling the woman (Free will? What's that?), considering spanking perfectly a-ok, and assuming that a woman will have several orgasms easily, with no effort at all on the part of the guy to do anything at all.
The idea of sex as a loving bond between two (or more
) people, or sex as an enjoyable hobby to be done together, seems not to enter into their minds. It's a sport.Let's be honest, it's all about the approach isn't it Tress ? if they have brought something to the table before asking these things, their requests would have carried over better.
For Example
Honestly though, I'm really surprised by this. But then again, as a previous thread mentioned, I hate North American porn. It's gotten to a point that it's a joke. It's nowhere close to where it should be in a healthy relationship and if guys base their lives on what happens in those "scenes" to actual things that happen in real life and actually manage to get some girls to change the way things are.... that's just wow.
Thanks for the story, it's a view that a lot of guys don't normally get. It's really funny when you think of it, maybe this dude had something right in his article but it doesn't come from gaming, guys don't learn to ass to mouth or play putter with their dick multiple times in a row by playing Grand Theft Auto 4.
You learn that by being a dipshit.
Thanks for the story, it's a view that a lot of guys don't normally get. It's really funny when you think of it, maybe this dude had something right in his article but it doesn't come from gaming, guys don't learn to ass to mouth or play putter with their dick multiple times in a row by playing Grand Theft Auto 4.
You learn that by being a dipshit.
I've read articles describing what Tress is saying, from psych people, not CNN editorials.
And wow, these guys understand nothing about trust or people. There was a girl I met and early on it came up that we were both into a certain thing, but despite that common interest, nothing became of it for a while because we didn't know each other yet.
And wow, these guys understand nothing about trust or people. There was a girl I met and early on it came up that we were both into a certain thing, but despite that common interest, nothing became of it for a while because we didn't know each other yet.
Ok, i'm sorry, but did that guy happen to have a medical condition where he lacked an anus? Ate nothing but liquefied food?
Because seriously, how does one defecate their entire life and not realize that ramming something in there all of a sudden isn't a great idea?
Haven't you heard? There's a big difference between "real people" like themselves, and you know, just women. They don't feel the same way people do! Duh!
Actually have met people who thought other people weren't the same and had this sort of reasoning, so...Yeah. Dipshits will be dipshits.
ElJuski
Staff member
Obviously so many of you guys feel personally affronted, but I think the article I read on CNN from that guy hit a couple of pretty interesting points. No, it's not the end of the world, so the sensationalism is just as awful as the knee-jerk gamer reaction. But I can see merit in curbing your kid's video game time. I definitely could have used someone telling me "no" as a kid. I might have been better socialized to deal with my peers and women at an earlier age. As for the porn thing...sparingly, for sure, because I think that warps the mind for expectations definitely.
But really, isn't the moral here--beyond all the bullshit--moderation?
But really, isn't the moral here--beyond all the bullshit--moderation?
Which it has been from the dawn of time, this article didn't hit on anything not already hundreds of years old.
S
SeraRelm
Some people have a mentality akin to that they're the only real people in the world, and other people are just things around them.
GasBandit
Staff member
I have a shirt that says "It it solipsistic in here or is it just me?"
See also, "breakfast of champions."
Legislate ugly person porn as the default. That'd fix unrealistic expectations AND lower the unemployment rate by 5%.
I will say after a decade of first person shooters, I'm actually a pretty decent shot with a real pistol.
GasBandit
Staff member
I think it's been previously said that video games wouldn't cause this guy to lose touch with reality, but rather guys who were predisposed to lose touch with reality already could find video games a convenient channel to do so.
I don't get how blowing loads in vaginas became uncool. It feels way better.
Who wants to finish themselves off themself? Porn is silly.
Who wants to finish themselves off themself? Porn is silly.
I'm honestly terrible at FPSs and yet I have a patch on my dress uniform for my aim with both rifles and sidearms.
I don't know... my left hand is still pretty useless at stuff requiring a dex roll...
Dave
Staff member
Right now the #1 book and series in the country is "50 Shades of Grey". What's it about? An older man dominating a younger woman sexually. And the women are loving it. So here we have millions of women fantasizing about it and millions of men watching porn and thinking that's what sex is.
So is there a wonder why some new to the sex scene are confused when they are told acting in this way is bad?
Oh, for the record, my wife and I have never gotten together and watched a video game...
So is there a wonder why some new to the sex scene are confused when they are told acting in this way is bad?
Oh, for the record, my wife and I have never gotten together and watched a video game...
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