Rant VII: Now With 25% Less Drama

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figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
Checking in to say "Hi!". I've only got limited computer access, so I can't spend a lot of time on the forums, but it's nice to know you haven't burned the place down in my absence.

It is so horribly frustrating here. I'm not even going to bother listing all the stupid little stuff I get annoyed by. Some I can see the reason for (like why dental floss has to be checked out) but I can't see the reason for other stuff (like why plastic floss picks have the restriction).

The big frustration is that doctors still can't find a physical reason for my health problems. Which is leading to a lot of, roughly:
Doc: You get frustrated when your mom and sister cook meals for you. Your chart says you're a healthy young man, why don't you cook for yourself?
Me: Because I can't.
Doc: Really?
Me: Yes, really. I might be able to cook, but not cook and exercise and do laundry and do all the other stuff necessary to take care of myself. I know, I've tried many times.
....
Doc: I notice that you're looking thoughtful, what are you thinking?
Me: I'm angry because you don't believe I have limits I can't control.
Doc: I believe you. I've said that I believe your problems are real.
Me: Yes, you have, but you've also said you think I choose to be sick because I get some sort of benefit from it, that it fills some need.
Doc: I didn't say that. (to the rest of the treatment team) Did I say that?

Repeat until time is up and I want to hit my head against a wall because that would feel more productive.
 
S

SeraRelm

Out curiosity, did they say that?
I mean, not finding anything physically wrong doesn't mean they said that, unless you feel it's implied as a guilt ridden association (deserved or not). I only ask, and bring this up out of genuine concern to see you getting better, by the way, not as an accusatory statement of your condition.
 
figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
SeraRelm said:
Out curiosity, did they say that?
I mean, not finding anything physically wrong doesn't mean they said that, unless you feel it's implied as a guilt ridden association (deserved or not). I only ask, and bring this up out of genuine concern to see you getting better, by the way, not as an accusatory statement of your condition.
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I don't remember the exact words, but the doctor shared a story about how staying home from school when sick was so nice because her mother would bring her chicken soup and she loved that. Then asked if maybe there was a reason that my emotions might express themselves as these symptoms of physical illness. When I connected the dots and said that she was implying that I'm sick because I see some benefit from that, she denied that's what she was saying, but I can't figure out any other conclusion.
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Pursuing a line of investigation doesn't necessarily mean that that's the doctor's only theory, too. I'd be more worried if they weren't following multiple leads.
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

And, even in this line of reasoning - she's not saying you're doing this deliberately or consciously. Subconsciously, it's perfectly possible that your body is expressing specific problems as specific, seemingly unrelated, issues, to try and provoke a conscious reaction or reach a specific goal.
I've tried coming up with examples that are clear-cut, wouldn't offend or sound far-fetched, but it's hard.... However, just consider that, even of things we *do* do consciously, we often have different, underlying motives we don't see ourselves at the time, but can only interpret/see/... afterwards.

The number one thing to remember in this sort of things (and it's a thing I personally fail miserably at), is not to "assume", maybe not even to "believe", but to be genuinely convinced and certain that the doctors/nurses/psychologists/whoever is helping is doing whatever they can in an honest effort to help you, and don't want to "guilt" you into anything or try and mak it "all your fault".

Anyway, good luck, keep at it, and don't worry: we'll be here, waiting for you to come back all mentally balanced and happy with life....Then we'll send in Shego* :p

*I obviously have no control over Shego. You'll have to talk to the IRC crew for that.
 
LittleSin

LittleSin

My bank account is over drawn $72.10.


My rent cheque (which is what caused the over draw) is going to bounce. I am upset because this was preventable. Hubby and I are both at fault..we weren't communicating what we were purchasing like we normally do.

Ugh.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I've been really enjoying biking around Fredericton since returning to town. I've spent several afternoons reading outside a coffee shop downtown.

However, one thing that really boils my blood is the sheer number of cyclists that are biking on the sidewalk. Not only biking, but biking at incredibly high, dangerous speeds.

Now, I've had my share of boneheaded moves while cycling before. I was ticketed in Toronto for (carefully) cycling through an intersection during an all-pedestrian walking period (all vehicles are stopped, pedestrians from every corner can cross, even diagonally; not sure if everyone here has seen these before. I hadn't before coming to Toronto). But for the most part, I'm well aware of my freedoms and limitations as a cyclist. I wear a helmet. I use hand signals. I bike on the right side of the road at all times, unless I'm turning left at an intersection (and again, I use hand signals to indicate a change in lanes). It's a $50 fine for a cyclist to drive on the sidewalk.

And yet, the amount of people biking on the sidewalk compared to on the street where they should be? For every one person I saw on the street, I saw dozens of people on the sidewalk. It's ridiculous and giving a bad name to responsible urban cyclists like myself. Every time I see someone cycle by, I want to shout out, "You're giving cyclists a bad name, asshole!"
 
checkeredhat

checkeredhat

In my experience, most people have no idea that cyclists are supposed to ride on the road, and cyclists who do are often the targets of roadrage among motorists. In Oakville I'd ride on the road (mostly, but in some areas, such as the exit for the highway, that felt too dangerous), and I received many an angry honk, obscene gesture or shouted profanity for my adherance to the law.

I really wish more places would create bike lanes, and that they would make an effort to keep bike lanes clear for cyclists. Because even in the odd instance where there is a bike lane, it's usually impossible to ride in due to construction materials, parked cars, garbage cans, etc.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I think that's why I enjoyed cycling in Toronto so much. Even without a bike lane, most roads were two lanes...and the right-most lane was almost always populated with parked cars. As a result, there was roughly the same amount of room left in that lane that was equivalent to a bike lane.

I will, say, though, that there was one time in Toronto that I was admonished by a driver. I was biking home from school when a front seat passenger shouted, "Get off the fucking road!" As it turns out, they stopped at a stop light just ahead. So I went over and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch what you said?" They said, "I said get off the fucking road. You were swerving all over the place!" (I definitely wasn't.) I told him that bicycles are considered road vehicles and I have as much right to be there as he does. He said something like, "Well, why don't you bike on the fucking sidewalk, then?" At which point, I told him I'd get a considerable fine if I did that, told him to fuck off and biked away.

Fredericton's certainly not the best place for cyclists, but it's certainly not the worst. Cyclists are generally hated, no matter where you go. There's a saying I heard once, "Drivers hate pedestrians. Pedestrians hate drivers. Everyone hates cyclists."

I will say this, though: I just wrote a letter to the editor of our paper. And I contacted the local police. Got the number for the constable in charge of the duty officers in the downtown area. So this thing is getting nipped in the bud.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Honestly, I think it's because most people are taught to ride on sidewalks and never get the "okay" early in life that they can use the roads too.
 
checkeredhat

checkeredhat

AshburnerX said:
Honestly, I think it's because most people are taught to ride on sidewalks and never get the "okay" early in life that they can use the roads too.
Click to expand...
It's not that they CAN use the roads, it's that legally they HAVE to use the roads. It's rarely enforced by the police, which is why it's a problem. But every so often one of them will decide to hand out a ticket for it.

A friend of mine road her bike on the sidewalk, and crossed at an intersection through the crosswalk, when the light said walk. She was hit by a car, which totalled her bike and ran over her leg, miraculously without breaking it but still resulting in a big black bruise and a trip to the ER just to be sure. She got a ticket, while the driver of the car that hit her got nothing for not stopping at what was a red light for him (In Ontario you are allowed to make right hand turns at red lights, but you ARE still required to stop at said light. This again is something that is rarely enforced).
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Yeah, well, in a lot of places, it's just way too dangerous to ride in the road, even if that's the technically legal thing to do. I hop on the sidewalk in those cases, but I don't zip around people.

Houston does have a lot of nice bike lanes and even some bike-only roads. Those kind of annoy me in the exact opposite direction, because families get on them and walk 4 abreast at a snail's pace.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

ThatNickGuy said:
And yet, the amount of people biking on the sidewalk compared to on the street where they should be? For every one person I saw on the street, I saw dozens of people on the sidewalk. It's ridiculous and giving a bad name to responsible urban cyclists like myself. Every time I see someone cycle by, I want to shout out, "You're giving cyclists a bad name, asshole!"
Click to expand...


--Patrick
 
figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
Bubble181 said:
And, even in this line of reasoning - she's not saying you're doing this deliberately or consciously. Subconsciously, it's perfectly possible that your body is expressing specific problems as specific, seemingly unrelated, issues, to try and provoke a conscious reaction or reach a specific goal..
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Yeah, that's roughly what the doctor told me during the last check-in during rounds. She said that with Somatoform Disorder (my diagnosis) that it's not an intentional thing, I'm not consciously causing myself pain, but that it's from unexpressed emotion manifesting sub-consciously as illness in order to fulfill a need, or something like that. I'm still strugging to understand the specifics of how this works in me.
 
S

SeraRelm

You may or may not be aware of that need, regardless of it's existence within you. Just don't let this get you down because you are in a place where they can help you with people who know how to help you. And don't forget, pretty much everyone here is hoping you'll get through this fine.
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
Speaking of which....My Father's Day present was a shiny new bike. I live about 10 miles from my work and almost all of it is on a bike trail. So I took it out for a spin yesterday....yeah. Dave needs to get into shape.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Psychosomatic diagnoses are a bitch. Because you know you're causing them, but you can't just stop causing them. It's like trying not to worry too much.

--Patrick
 
DarkAudit

DarkAudit

I've mostly figured out last Sunday wasn't so much a "ZOMG they're putting me in charge!" attack as an "I'm running on no sleep and I feel like shit" attack. Felt about the same on Thursday and Saturday nights. Thursday I was struggling to flip out of vacation mode and back to the regular sleep cycle. Saturday I just couldn't get any sleep, and ran some errands and tried to nap a bit before work. Both nights I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest all night.

Friday and tonight, I got plenty of sleep. I feel just fine. The work situation is otherwise unchanged.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Dave said:
Speaking of which....My Father's Day present was a shiny new bike. I live about 10 miles from my work and almost all of it is on a bike trail. So I took it out for a spin yesterday....yeah. Dave needs to get into shape.
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That'll come in time, man. Plus, go you for becoming a commuting cyclist!
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
ThatNickGuy said:
That'll come in time, man. Plus, go you for becoming a commuting cyclist!
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Strangely enough it wasn't my lungs or heart that did me in, it was my knees. The ride to work is going to be almost exclusively on a bike trail, which will be relatively flat with a few minor rises/falls there. But I was going to ride to my friend's house and didn't think about the fact that it was one hill after another. Ugh. Plus, Google maps wanted me to ride on very, very major streets and I just couldn't. I had to sidewalk hop for a bit. I made it about 1/4 of the way there and then went back home as I knew I wasn't going to make it.
 
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