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The guy was the '90s, where there were no heroes, only anti-heroes. Glad we've moved on.

None of this has any right to be as good as it is.

Spider-Man's day off, not Peters. Sheesh.

This is a gorgeous shot. Awesome pictures amigo.

He died from the gunshot.

Up next, people complain about traffic being disrupted. Priorities? Please, these people have places they need to be.

So now a bunch of important people are holding a press conference, in the middle of an intersection. The pedestrian crossing signal is making a pretty audible, constant, booping sound. It's throwing everyone's speech off. Also, the press is asking petty stupid questions. Oh, the hostages...

Nah, they're talking to some retired cop now. "So, this building is pretty big, could that make things difficult?" "Yes" THRILLING

They've already done both of those things. No joke. Also, a lady with a fantastic butt just walked behind one of the reporters. Most interesting thing to happen in a while.

This has been going on for about four hours. The local news has been covering it for maybe three. They are running out of things to say, and it's veering into the absurd now.

Holy crap, it's the assassin spidey costume from "What If? Spider-Man vs Wolverine". Talk about obscure.

This is the only way for a true hipster to bite the dust.

I got it. New rant, people who don't got it. Sad.

Road to Perdition is the best comic book to film adaptation.

I'm not sure what it is, but I like it .

Clint Eastwood's directing credentials are superior to his acting ones.

Nah, I felt much better once I had gotten all that excess plasma and cells out of me. What a relief. That's horrifying. Good thing I'm not one to linger on such remote possibilities. Oh wait. I might consider the former but no way am I doing the latter.

So I awoke this fine morning, and immediately felt the strong urge to sneeze. Still half asleep, I was just barely quick enough to cover my mouth with my hand as I let loose a barrage of wet, sloppy sneezes. My hand is now covered in what I assume to be snot. Gross. As if that wasn't nasty...