I also taught Officer_Charon useful Japanese phrases, like 大きいお尻が好きで、うそをつけない。
I'd also like to make a correction on one of my useful survival phrases. It should be 「買春婦見たい。」 Not 「買春見たい。」
As delightful as this exchange has been, it has done nothing to dispute the fact that your appearance is several miles off from the human ideal, such that a casual glance causes grimaces, averting of eyes, and physical pain.