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I just spent 70 minutes crying with laughter. Highly recommend. Here's the first chunk.



Edit: It's a review I wish I'd made and secretly believe Charlie Don't Surf could have.

I really like the first part, but I'm not sure I want to spend 70 minutes watching through all 7.

The whole "describe the characters" thing was brilliant, though.

Ok, the Shatnarian's was fucking funny.

Eh. It didn't make me laugh (saw the fist part only), but is an interesting take - I really thought the "describe the characters" bit was a brilliant bit of propaganda, but if each of them had seen episode 1 as often as they had seen the original trilogy, they'd have a lot more to say about the characters. I think episode one is a movie most people have seen only once or twice, and would like to forget.

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

Amorous Vyxen said:

ass voice

Click to expand...

Ho Ho Ho




eace:

Gruebeard;318055][quote=Amorous Vyxen said:

ass voice

Click to expand...

Ho Ho Ho




eace:[/QUOTE]

stienman said:

Eh. It didn't make me laugh (saw the fist part only), but is an interesting take - I really thought the "describe the characters" bit was a brilliant bit of propaganda, but if each of them had seen episode 1 as often as they had seen the original trilogy, they'd have a lot more to say about the characters. I think episode one is a movie most people have seen only once or twice, and would like to forget.

Click to expand...

Yeah but I've seen the Phantom Menace 5 times and I still can't really think of too much to say about Queen Amidala. She follows Quigon around on Tantooine complains a little then gets back on the ship and makes goo goo eyes with an 8 year old, is convinced by palpatine to dispose the previous chancellor, makes the speech to dispose the old chancellor, Reveals herself to be queen to secure the aid of the gungans and then leads the assualt to take back the palace.

There is nothing in any of the prequel movies that really raises her above a kind of cardboard cutout.

Gruebeard;318055][quote=Amorous Vyxen said:

ass voice

Click to expand...

Ho Ho Ho




eace:[/quote]


Now I have a machine gun.


...because I'm the protinagist


And that review is pure genius. I cried from laughing at some parts.

---------- Post added at 09:28 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:23 AM ----------

Dubyamn;318065][quote=stienman said:

Eh. It didn't make me laugh (saw the fist part only), but is an interesting take - I really thought the "describe the characters" bit was a brilliant bit of propaganda, but if each of them had seen episode 1 as often as they had seen the original trilogy, they'd have a lot more to say about the characters. I think episode one is a movie most people have seen only once or twice, and would like to forget.

Click to expand...

Yeah but I've seen the Phantom Menace 5 times and I still can't really think of too much to say about Queen Amidala. She follows Quigon around on Tantooine complains a little then gets back on the ship and makes goo goo eyes with an 8 year old, is convinced by palpatine to dispose the previous chancellor, makes the speech to dispose the old chancellor, Reveals herself to be queen to secure the aid of the gungans and then leads the assualt to take back the palace.

There is nothing in any of the prequel movies that really raises her above a kind of cardboard cutout.[/QUOTE]


This goes on throughout the series not just the single movie. Queen Amidala doesn't grow AT ALL as a character. She's Ankin's love interest. That's it!

Zarvox said:

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

Click to expand...

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...

Silver Jelly;318068][quote=Zarvox said:

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

Click to expand...

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/QUOTE]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."

Chazwozel;318072][quote=Silver Jelly;318068][quote=Zarvox said:

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

Click to expand...

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/QUOTE]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."[/QUOTE]

Well, while I think the "Senor Cardgage reviews Episode I" is an original idea, I would have found it funnier if that kind of jokes were more subtle. The "group of cheerleaders" one, for example, was kind of funny, but all we see is a picture of a group of cheerleaders and he says it.
The tied up woman, the screams of the korean family followed by the cries of a baby or the extended advice on how to kill a hooker feel to me like he is trying too hard.

But, of course, everybody has different tastes!

Silver Jelly;318078][quote=Chazwozel;318072][quote=Silver Jelly;318068][quote=Zarvox said:

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

Click to expand...

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/quote]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."[/quote]

Well, while I think the "Senor Cardgage reviews Episode I" is an original idea, I would have found it funnier if that kind of jokes were more subtle. The "group of cheerleaders" one, for example, was kind of funny, but all we see is a picture of a group of cheerleaders and he says it.
The tied up woman, the screams of the korean family followed by the cries of a baby or the extended advice on how to kill a hooker feel to me like he is trying too hard.

But, of course, everybody has different tastes![/QUOTE]

The only one were he kills the joke with over the top antics is the screams. I loved the pizza roll at the end.

Chazwozel;318094][quote=Silver Jelly;318078][quote=Chazwozel;318072][quote=Silver Jelly;318068][quote=Zarvox said:

Watched the whole thing. Overall, it was funny, and had some insightful things to say. That said (and I don't remember if he introduces this in the first one), there's a running gag that the narrator is crazy and kidnaps and butchers people. Not my style of humor. Still, worth the 70 minutes.

Click to expand...

I'm in part 4 but I agree: the stuff he says is very interesting, but the jokes about kidnapping and killing people are taken too far (and too frequently) for my tastes...[/quote]


What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."[/quote]

Well, while I think the "Senor Cardgage reviews Episode I" is an original idea, I would have found it funnier if that kind of jokes were more subtle. The "group of cheerleaders" one, for example, was kind of funny, but all we see is a picture of a group of cheerleaders and he says it.
The tied up woman, the screams of the korean family followed by the cries of a baby or the extended advice on how to kill a hooker feel to me like he is trying too hard.

But, of course, everybody has different tastes![/QUOTE]

The only one were he kills the joke with over the top antics is the screams. I loved the pizza roll at the end.[/QUOTE]

The pizza roll made me laugh too.

I liked the weird morbid bits, I actually had to pause the review when he was describing how to use Raid to kill a hooker -it just caught me so off guard, and he's so matter-of-fact about it, like he's annoyed at the incompetence of the screenwriters for not having that experience.

And man do I want some pizza rolls.

Garbledina said:

I liked the weird morbid bits, I actually had to pause the review when he was describing how to use Raid to kill a hooker -it just caught me so off guard, and he's so matter-of-fact about it, like he's annoyed at the incompetence of the screenwriters for not having that experience.

And man do I want some pizza rolls.

Click to expand...

...about 6 cans of the blue one will do. I just love his drunken monotone voice.

Chazwozel said:

What?!??!? His basement is priceless. I love it!

"Mista, please let me go. I promise I won't tell nobody."
"Quite, I'm making my youtube movie."

Click to expand...

I thought it was pretty funny, but if he had just cut out the part where she talked ... It wouldn't make the joke subtle, but as it is it's a bit over the top.

Yeah no I've seen the prequel trilogy enough times. They're just really horrible scripts, with a lot of flashy set pieces. Lucas is an idea man, not a writer or director (remember the best Star Wars were done by different directors).

Amorous Vyxen said:

His voice annoyed the shit outta me in the first 10 seconds, and then I skipped ahead if he was gonna quit it. He didn't so I didn't watch any more than that. Why the fuck put on such a fake ass voice?

Click to expand...

This.

I watched the entire first clip, and it had some funny moments but that voice was annoying, and the running gag of not being able to pronounce protagonist got old..fast.

I found it funny when he'd talk like he was educated, screw it up, and then get pissy at the audience for not being inteligent.

"Just like when the Germans invaded France. You might have heard of it. A thing called the French Revolution. God, seriously. You need to read a book."

His review for Star Trek: Nemesis was good, too.

Also, Pizza Rolls. Do want.

This concept just reminds me of CDS' Live Transformers 2 review.

I did laugh when he talks about getting the girl in the end and shows clips, one of which is Charlie and Willy Wonka hugging at the end of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory.

Rob King said:

I found it funny when he'd talk like he was educated, screw it up, and then get pissy at the audience for not being inteligent.

"Just like when the Germans invaded France. You might have heard of it. A thing called the French Revolution. God, seriously. You need to read a book."

Click to expand...

Well, to be fair, Prussia did attack France in the aftermath of the Revolution, but I wouldn't call it an invasion.

Mav;318200][quote=Amorous Vyxen said:

His voice annoyed the shit outta me in the first 10 seconds, and then I skipped ahead if he was gonna quit it. He didn't so I didn't watch any more than that. Why the fuck put on such a fake ass voice?

Click to expand...

This.

I watched the entire first clip, and it had some funny moments but that voice was annoying, and the running gag of not being able to pronounce protagonist got old..fast.[/QUOTE]


This is why you guys don't have any friends.

I know a guy that talks like that. FOR REALSIES

Heavan;318279][quote=Rob King said:

I found it funny when he'd talk like he was educated, screw it up, and then get pissy at the audience for not being inteligent.

"Just like when the Germans invaded France. You might have heard of it. A thing called the French Revolution. God, seriously. You need to read a book."

Click to expand...

Well, to be fair, Prussia did attack France in the aftermath of the Revolution, but I wouldn't call it an invasion.[/QUOTE]
He said Nazis, not Germans.

You know, given his description of a common protagonist:

Usually the protagonist is somebody that's down on their luck, in a bad place in their lives, or someone where everything just doesn't go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or strugle that they gotta deal with, and if we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the film is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually, our [protoganist] will find themselves in their lowest point when it seems like all is lost. But eventually they pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "arc".

Click to expand...

When he asked who the protagonist of The Phantom Menace was, I actually had an answer:

Soliloquy said:

You know, given his description of a common protagonist:

Usually the protagonist is somebody that's down on their luck, in a bad place in their lives, or someone where everything just doesn't go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or strugle that they gotta deal with, and if we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the film is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually, our [protoganist] will find themselves in their lowest point when it seems like all is lost. But eventually they pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "arc".

Click to expand...

When he asked who the protagonist of The Phantom Menace was, I actually had an answer:

Click to expand...

Doesn't really help the movie's case though.

blotsfan;318328][quote=Soliloquy said:

You know, given his description of a common protagonist:

Usually the protagonist is somebody that's down on their luck, in a bad place in their lives, or someone where everything just doesn't go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or strugle that they gotta deal with, and if we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the film is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually, our [protoganist] will find themselves in their lowest point when it seems like all is lost. But eventually they pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "arc".

Click to expand...

When he asked who the protagonist of The Phantom Menace was, I actually had an answer:

Click to expand...

Doesn't really help the movie's case though.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it actually makes for a stronger argument against it, doesn't it?

I hated the kid more then Jar Jar myself. At least he was just comedy relief.

I hated them both. And that silver ship.

Every time he dissed Qui-Gon a piece of me died. Qui-Gon has always been the greatest part of the prequel trilogy for me.

That said, I don't think I can really argue with any of the points he raised.

Chazwozel;318285][quote=Mav;318200][quote=Amorous Vyxen said:

His voice annoyed the shit outta me in the first 10 seconds, and then I skipped ahead if he was gonna quit it. He didn't so I didn't watch any more than that. Why the fuck put on such a fake ass voice?

Click to expand...

This.

I watched the entire first clip, and it had some funny moments but that voice was annoying, and the running gag of not being able to pronounce protagonist got old..fast.[/QUOTE]


This is why you guys don't have any friends.[/QUOTE]

The roots of the internet run deep in this.

Not funny for me either. I quit during the whole Qui-Gon thing. This guy getting stuck in the ass with a hot poker would be funnier.

The gallows humor gets a bit over the top, but the commentary on the movie was pretty much right on.

I liked how he deflated the "it's a kid's movie" argument by showing how some parts of the movie obviously weren't intended to be aimed at kids. Not that I'm exactly sure who the minutes-long monotonal dialogs about trade disputes were actually intended to appeal to, but it certainly wasn't 8-year-olds.

This is awesome.

"What's wrong with your face?!"

Very funny! Nicely done.

Just watched the first bit...He makes some interesting points, but his humour really doesn't do much for me - and the voice really does get annoying.

Bubble181 said:

Just watched the first bit...He makes some interesting points, but his humour really doesn't do much for me - and the voice really does get annoying.

Click to expand...

It sounds like a male Penny Marshal...

Oh, wait, Penny Marshal is already the male Penny Marshal

My brother just showed me this, absolutely fucking hilarious, and right on the money.

"quiet, I'm making my youtube starwars review!"

"it was a little thing, maybe you've heard of it....oh yeah: THE FRENCH REVOLUTION!"

Finally watched it all (the voice gets too annoying to watch all 7 in a row), and i have to say, even if you didn't like it, watch the second half of part 6, totality hits the nail on the head. And there was even footage of a younger Lucas agreeing with it.

@Li3n said:

Finally watched it all (the voice gets too annoying to watch all 7 in a row), and i have to say, even if you didn't like it, watch the second half of part 6, totality hits the nail on the head. And there was even footage of a younger Lucas agreeing with it.

Click to expand...

Okay, on your recommendation, I went in... and yeah, entirely.

For those who don't wanna hunt for it:


starting 5:56 until the end.

That Lucas clip at the end is just... wow.

"Coming Soon"

Yay!

Well, the Phantom Menace review came out three months after the trailer for it. Hopefully, now that this one has gotten so big, he'll work on getting the second one out quicker.

Can't wait!

escushion said:

That Lucas clip at the end is just... wow.

Click to expand...

Also the last part with the footage of Lucas and crew watching the finished product for the first time is worth seeing too.

@Li3n;327195][QUOTE=escushion said:

That Lucas clip at the end is just... wow.

Click to expand...

Also the last part with the footage of Lucas and crew watching the finished product for the first time is worth seeing too.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for pointing that out; I didn't have time to watch the whole review, but I should make time someday (hey, got a 3-day weekend coming up). That's kinda sad, where they finally realized what they were doing wrong, at which point it was too late to do anything about it.

escushion said:

Thanks for pointing that out; I didn't have time to watch the whole review, but I should make time someday (hey, got a 3-day weekend coming up). That's kinda sad, where they finally realized what they were doing wrong, at which point it was too late to do anything about it.

Click to expand...

Well, they had two whole movies to get back on target ...

I need to watch this at some point.

Wow, he made a lot of good point in part 6. Makes me want to watch the original 3 again.

Rob King;327562][QUOTE=escushion said:

Thanks for pointing that out; I didn't have time to watch the whole review, but I should make time someday (hey, got a 3-day weekend coming up). That's kinda sad, where they finally realized what they were doing wrong, at which point it was too late to do anything about it.

Click to expand...

Well, they had two whole movies to get back on target ...[/QUOTE]

I guess they thought that taking out Jar Jar was enough...

Rob King;327562][QUOTE=escushion said:

Thanks for pointing that out; I didn't have time to watch the whole review, but I should make time someday (hey, got a 3-day weekend coming up). That's kinda sad, where they finally realized what they were doing wrong, at which point it was too late to do anything about it.

Click to expand...

Well, they had two whole movies to get back on target ...[/QUOTE]

No, the video he's talking about is Lucas and others reviewing the last act of The Phantom Menace, not the prequel trilogy as a whole.

escushion;327980][QUOTE=Rob King;327562][QUOTE=escushion said:

Thanks for pointing that out; I didn't have time to watch the whole review, but I should make time someday (hey, got a 3-day weekend coming up). That's kinda sad, where they finally realized what they were doing wrong, at which point it was too late to do anything about it.

Click to expand...

Well, they had two whole movies to get back on target ...[/QUOTE]

No, the video he's talking about is Lucas and others reviewing the last act of The Phantom Menace, not the prequel trilogy as a whole.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I got that. But after they messed up Phantom Menace (and realized that they messed up Phantom Menace) they could have been more careful with the other two. The reviewer acknowledges that they DID scale back on the endings, but the other problems didn't really get fixed.

Although, to be fair, they only admitted that the complex ending was a problem. So they DID fix that. Maybe they thought they did a good job on the other two, then.

I still maintain that Revenge of the Sith was a damn good Star Wars Movie. They did improve as they went on.

The only issue I have with Revenge of the Sith was Hayden Christiansen in general.

Bowielee said:

I still maintain that Revenge of the Sith was a damn good Star Wars Movie. They did improve as they went on.

The only issue I have with Revenge of the Sith was Hayden Christiansen in general.

Click to expand...

Which unfortunately was 80% of the film.

Oh, and Palpatine hissing was so retarded... thank goodness he didn't sparkle in the sunlight at least.

Bowielee said:

I still maintain that Revenge of the Sith was a damn good Star Wars Movie. They did improve as they went on.

The only issue I have with Revenge of the Sith was Hayden Christiansen in general.

Click to expand...

His entire turn to the darkside was completely awful.

Frankie said:

His entire turn to the darkside was completely awful.

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Made me loose a lot of respect for Vader...

@Li3n;328251][QUOTE=Frankie said:

His entire turn to the darkside was completely awful.

Click to expand...

Made me loose a lot of respect for Vader...[/QUOTE]

I think the treatment of Anakin / Vader is the biggest failing of the three prequels. Not only doesn't his fall seem particularly tragic because he never really comes across as a hero. He doesn't make a particularly effective villain.

The fall of the Jedi should have been because of Anakin, not the clone troopers.

Actually, the Clone Wars series is doing a better job of making Anakin a good character than anything the prequels did.

This guy seems very intelligent and insightful. Didn't watch the whole thing though but I'm pretty sure he had some interesting things to say. OH MY GOSH but I hate his voice. Its like having an itch on the back of my BRAIN. I scratch and I scratch but I just. can't. get to it.


Edit:

evilmike;328343][QUOTE=@Li3n;328251][QUOTE=Frankie said:

His entire turn to the darkside was completely awful.

Click to expand...

Made me loose a lot of respect for Vader...[/QUOTE]

I think the treatment of Anakin / Vader is the biggest failing of the three prequels. Not only doesn't his fall seem particularly tragic because he never really comes across as a hero. He doesn't make a particularly effective villain.

The fall of the Jedi should have been because of Anakin, not the clone troopers.[/QUOTE]

I think the Jedi fell because of palpatine not because of the troopers. He tricked them into relying completely on the troopers while spreading themselves out across the galaxy. When he gave the call they were completely surrounded with no hope of back up.

Personally I like the third one. I think it stands well on its own without the previous two. Anakin comes off as almost likable. I'm not quite sure what your getting at with his turn to the darkside. He turns because he fears his wife will die like his mother and the emperor is the only one who can save her which seems pretty plausible to me, though he goes from zero to killing children pretty quickly, which seems kind of unrealistic.

I'm not saying the movie is perfect I just didn't think it was that bad.

He turns because he fears his wife will die like his mother and the emperor is the only one who can save her which seems pretty plausible to me,

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On paper it doesn't sound bad (still makes him stupid), but in the actual film the execution is laughable. Oh noes, i has bad dream, let's betray all my friends based on the vague insinuation of a Sith...

I can see the final push being a good one, it's just the fact that there's no real build up. Killing Duku is supposed to show us that he's getting dark, but I really didn't see it. Killing your enemy in a war is not really the path to the dark side. Slaughtering the Sand People had more weight to it. It just seemed like, for the most part, it was all "I love you Padme, and you're my best friend Obi Wan... wait, Palpatine says you may be screwing.... WELL KILL THE BABY JEDI, ZOMGASDFAVAWE***HAHAVVAV!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As I said earlier, at least the Clone Wars series is kind of filling in the gaps, with Anakin slowly showing his willingness to bend and break the rules and be a little ruthless sometimes.

chakz;328570][QUOTE=evilmike;328343][QUOTE=@Li3n;328251][QUOTE=Frankie said:

His entire turn to the darkside was completely awful.

Click to expand...

Made me loose a lot of respect for Vader...[/QUOTE]

I think the treatment of Anakin / Vader is the biggest failing of the three prequels. Not only doesn't his fall seem particularly tragic because he never really comes across as a hero. He doesn't make a particularly effective villain.

The fall of the Jedi should have been because of Anakin, not the clone troopers.[/QUOTE]

I think the Jedi fell because of palpatine not because of the troopers. He tricked them into relying completely on the troopers while spreading themselves out across the galaxy. When he gave the call they were completely surrounded with no hope of back up. [/QUOTE]

The problem is with that is, ultimately, it means that Anakin's turn to the dark side contributes very little to the story. The Emperor's plan would have happened almost exactly the same way if he never existed. Seriously, in the grand arc of 6 films, the only point at which Anakin's turn to the dark side is useful to anyone is to Luke at the end of RotJ because it leaves the Emperor vulnerable.

@Li3n said:

I guess they thought that taking out Jar Jar was enough...

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And the sad part of it all?

For all his annoyance, he was the only character in the entire first movie with anything approaching a personality.

I can't sit through any of the first three movies in one sitting. Occasionally one of my friends puts on one of the first 3 to watch a couple scenes to 'get in the star wars mood' when he's DMing a star wars game, and I can't get through to him that he's missing the point entirely. I was saying it years ago, long before these reviews came out. Star wars is about so much more than pretty light-saber duels (which bored me to tears when I first watched 1-3) and unfortunately I can't get him to watch these. '70 minutes is too long'.

I guess he's one of those kinds of people this guy mentions early on. The screaming fratboy type that screams at special effects with no story behind them. He thinks Darth Maul is cool and happily watches those choreographed fight scenes with relish.

Anyway, I don't know where i'm going with this.. venting I guess.

I think this weekend I will get on my PSP and give this review a deserved listen for its duration.

Draxo;329129][QUOTE=@Li3n said:

I guess they thought that taking out Jar Jar was enough...

Click to expand...

And the sad part of it all?

For all his annoyance, he was the only character in the entire first movie with anything approaching a personality.[/QUOTE]
Indeed. My biggest annoyance was that the Jedi were annoyingly wooden. I know they were aiming for "calm, collected and unshakeable" but they were just so bloody wooden.

Well what with the stick up their arses it's the most honest portrayal.