Search forums

Forums

Export thread

A Good Day For Single Dorks

Dec 17, 2012#1

Zappit

http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/gossip...ced-from-death-cabs-ben-gibbard-1724861.story

Zooey Deschanel is officially divorced. Granted, it does put my chances at like, .000000000000001%, but that is still a step in the right direction.

Yeah, I have a total Zooey crush. Shut up.

Dec 17, 2012#2

bhamv3

DIBS!!!

Dec 17, 2012#3

Ravenpoe

bhamv3 said:
DIBS!!!

Dammit!

Dec 17, 2012#4

Zappit

bhamv3 said:
DIBS!!!

NO! I called her first!

Dec 17, 2012#5

T

The_Khan

guys, we're already engaged. She was impressed by my massive knowledge of Minotaur penis.

Dec 17, 2012#6

Zappit

The_Khan said:
guys, we're already engaged. She was impressed by my massive knowledge of Minotaur penis.

You get your Minotaur penis out of here, or this might get ugly...

Dec 17, 2012#7

T

The_Khan

Zappit said:
You get your Minotaur penis out of her, then put it in again.

don't mind if i do.

Dec 17, 2012#8

PatrThom

Momma's got an econobox, Daddy never speeds at night.

--Patrick

Dec 18, 2012#9

sixpackshaker

I am so happy about Zooey's personal turmoil...

Dec 18, 2012#10

BananaHands

bhamv3 said:
DIBS!!!

Dec 18, 2012#11

Chad Sexington

I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

Dec 18, 2012#12

BananaHands

Chad Sexington said:
I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

And it'll be full of girls like this, right?????

Dec 18, 2012#13

Chad Sexington

Well, I mean, obviously.

Dec 18, 2012#14

ThatNickGuy

Chad Sexington said:
I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

Such a site actually exists. I don't recall the name of it, though. I never joined because it's one of those bullshit pay sites.

Dec 18, 2012#15

GasBandit

Wasn't that exact situation a PVP comic arc?

Dec 18, 2012#16

Tress

Chad Sexington said:
I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

Geek2Geek beat you to it by a few years.

Dec 18, 2012#17

Chad Sexington

So what you're telling me is I'm not an originator of an amazing business concept that will make me millions?

I'm going to go drink my day away. Thanks guys. Thanks for smashing my dreams.

Dec 18, 2012#18

Charlie Don't Surf

A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

Dec 18, 2012#19

GasBandit

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

Aaaand there it is.

Dec 18, 2012#20

Zappit

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

Noooooooo. You obviously don't appreciate Zooey. Her personality, talent, down to Earth quality - that's why I have a crush.

If it was solely about looks, there are plenty of other vapid, personality-deficient candidates. Granted, they get treated like objects often, but I'm pretty sure Kim Kardashian would count as an object, as she is more silicone than actual flesh.

She gets treated like a wall. When Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have sex, he makes her wear a mirror.

But yeah, bash us folks who would greatly like to date a person like Zooey. It's not always about looks and sex, Charlie, but that's the first place you go, with your dirty, dirty mind.

Dec 18, 2012#21

Azurephoenix

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

If Charlie can't have her... NO ONE CAN!!!!

Dec 18, 2012#22

Shannow

Dont worry, you all have a good shot. No, really. You do.

Dec 18, 2012#23

GasBandit

Shannow said:
Dont worry, you all have a good shot. No, really. You do.

Especially from this high vantage point with my new scope.

Dec 18, 2012#24

Adam

Shannow said:
Dont worry, you all have a good shot. No, really. You do.

I would say that they all have an equal shot.

Dec 18, 2012#25

ThatNickGuy

GasBandit said:
Aaaand there it is.

Dammit, you called it. *pays up*

Dec 18, 2012#26

BananaHands

Gon' tweet at Zooey. "AY BITCH LOOKIN 2 FUK"

Dec 18, 2012#27

Azurephoenix

BananaHands said:
Gon' tweet at Zooey. "AY BITCH LOOKIN 2 FUK"

Oh man, Charlie is going be all up in your face for that one...

Dec 18, 2012#28

drifter

Be careful what you wish for.

Dec 18, 2012#29

BananaHands

Azurephoenix said:
Oh man, Charlie is going be all up in your face for that one...

Oh, here. Let me hipster that statement up.

"Hey Zooey, I have fleet foxes on vinyl. Want to listen to it while drinking Hot Toddies?"

Dec 18, 2012#30

sixpackshaker

BananaHands said:
Oh, here. Let me hipster that statement up.

"Hey Zooey, I have fleet foxes on vinyl. Want to listen to it while drinking Hot Toddies?"

That might actually work with her.

Dec 18, 2012#31

BananaHands

Just wait until she finds out that I'm vegan.

I think I'm up to a .000000000000003% chance now.

Dec 18, 2012#32

sixpackshaker

BananaHands said:
Just wait until she finds out that I'm vegan.

I think I'm up to a .000000000000003% chance now.

Are you an industry insider millionaire?[DOUBLEPOST=1355866945][/DOUBLEPOST]Also, she's no longer vegan...

Dec 18, 2012#33

bhamv3

I'll get her before any of you losers do.

Dec 18, 2012#34

Adam

sixpackshaker said:
Are you an industry insider millionaire?[DOUBLEPOST=1355866945][/DOUBLEPOST]Also, she's no longer vegan...

She don't like meat but she sure likes the banana!

Dec 18, 2012#35

Gusto

Her?

In the couple things I've seen her in, I haven't really been a big fan of Zooey.

But let's not get Charlie to call me a bad person for not liking 500 Days of Summer again. :awesome:

Dec 18, 2012#36

Allen who is Quiet

I'll show her a gif and then it'll be all

Dec 18, 2012#37

DarkAudit

I'm late to the party, but seriously. Fuck off, Charlie.

Dec 18, 2012#38

Dirona

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

This was the last thread I clicked before going to work this morning, and having had a fairly large fight last evening about how females are treated in public/work environments, I was sorely tempted to go on a massive rant but didn't have time.

Short form - you guys are being creepier than usual. One can not call "dibs" on a person. Not cool. And even if it's done in jest, there is still some seriousness behind it, otherwise you wouldn't do it. So, ya, ew.

Also, you made me agree with Charlie... I'm... not sure how I feel about that.

Dec 18, 2012#39

bhamv3

Dirona said:
This was the last thread I clicked before going to work this morning, and having had a fairly large fight last evening about how females are treated in public/work environments, I was sorely tempted to go on a massive rant but didn't have time.

Short form - you guys are being creepier than usual. One can not call "dibs" on a person. Not cool. And even if it's done in jest, there is still some seriousness behind it, otherwise you wouldn't do it. So, ya, ew.

Also, you made me agree with Charlie... I'm... not sure how I feel about that.

Would it have been more or less creepy if someone had posted that that a male star (for example Brad Pitt) is now single, and I'd shouted dibs?
Would it have been more or less creepy if a professional athlete had announced his or her free agency, and I'd shouted dibs on behalf of my favorite local team?
Would it have been more or less creepy if I was going canoeing, and I called dibs on the guy or girl who I knew could paddle at a rhythm and power similar to mine, thus making him or her a good choice to sit in my canoe with me?

Not being facetious here, I'm trying to establish whether the creepiness arises from the fact that the person I called dibs on is a young attractive female.

Dec 18, 2012#40

Allen who is Quiet

Brad Pitt single?!

DIBS

Dec 18, 2012#41

Zappit

Dirona said:
This was the last thread I clicked before going to work this morning, and having had a fairly large fight last evening about how females are treated in public/work environments, I was sorely tempted to go on a massive rant but didn't have time.

Short form - you guys are being creepier than usual. One can not call "dibs" on a person. Not cool. And even if it's done in jest, there is still some seriousness behind it, otherwise you wouldn't do it. So, ya, ew.

Also, you made me agree with Charlie... I'm... not sure how I feel about that.

You do realize we're just being stupid, and not actually serious, right?

Dec 18, 2012#42

DarkAudit

Zappit said:
You do realize we're just being stupid, and not actually serious, right?

Charlie sure as shit doesn't.

Dec 18, 2012#43

Ravenpoe

Charlie and Dirona both do have a point. It's just a dumb joke, but it's a joke that perpetuates an objectifying culture. It's like turning your head to a gay joke, or a racist joke, etc.

Dec 18, 2012#44

Krisken

I prefer to give human characteristics to objects to objectifying people.

Dec 18, 2012#45

Gusto

Ravenpoe said:
Charlie and Dirona both do have a point. It's just a dumb joke, but it's a joke that perpetuates an objectifying culture. It's like turning your head to a gay joke, or a racist joke, etc.

I agree as well.

Additionally, I'm getting a little frustrated with a lot of posters here flying off the handle whenever Charlie deigns to post anything.

Dec 18, 2012#46

Hailey Knight

I think it's funny that people equate a character to the actress playing her.

Dec 18, 2012#47

Ravenpoe

Quotemander Prime said:
I think it's funny that people equate a character to the actress playing her.

Man, Hugh Laurie couldn't even diagnose my illness. Fake that english accent all you want, Mister, I know you know what's wrong with me!

Dec 18, 2012#48

Zappit

Ravenpoe said:
Charlie and Dirona both do have a point. It's just a dumb joke, but it's a joke that perpetuates an objectifying culture. It's like turning your head to a gay joke, or a racist joke, etc.

But that wasn't the goal. It was a joke about having a minuscule chance of dating Zooey Deschanel, and the idea of competition reducing those chances even further.

But it did go south once the first penis joke was made.

Dec 18, 2012#49

DarkAudit

Gusto said:
I agree as well.

Additionally, I'm getting a little frustrated with a lot of posters here flying off the handle whenever Charlie deigns to post anything.

It's the same crap, every time. He's a smug, pompous, humorless ass. Why is it everyone else's fault when he decides to take a massive dump in the middle of what should be a funny thread?

Dec 18, 2012#50

Cajungal

I understand that, but people who jump to "f--- you, charlie" are doing the same thing that Charlie's often accused of-- dropping an unpleasant bomb on a thread without much explanation. Just seems like people could ignore it and continue the conversation if they disliked it so much... or maybe make an argument.

For example-- I see where he's coming from, but I don't find it as creepy as some people do. Celebrity crushes happen to men and women. I agree that people get lewd about it sometimes, but no harm is meant. And surely if Zooey happened upon this tiny corner of the internet, she'd have the good sense to understand that people in the spotlight get attention... and not always desired attention. It's not like the OP is making plans to rummage through her trash cans or send her an envelope filled with pubes.

...Are you?

Dec 18, 2012#51

Ravenpoe

You don't understand our love

Dec 18, 2012#52

Zappit

Cajungal said:
For example-- I see where he's coming from, but I don't find it as creepy as some people do. Celebrity crushes happen to men and women. I agree that people get lewd about it sometimes, but no harm is meant. And surely if Zooey happened upon this tiny corner of the internet, she'd have the good sense to understand that people in the spotlight get attention... and not always desired attention. It's not like the OP is making plans to rummage through her trash cans or send her an envelope filled with pubes.

...Are you?

You're seriously kidding, right?

I was really having a rough time the last few days because of the Sandy Hook massacre. I was emotional in that thread and needed to get away a bit. I couldn't even pick up a pencil and work on Pixel for awhile. I started this thread, revealing my stupid, innocent crush because it felt like it would be refreshing, stupid, and well...fun. Just completely different and light. I needed a bit of that. Post some stupid pics, act a tad foolish, and get away from the heavy stuff.

Went to hell pretty quickly, though. Never wanted it to degenerate the way it did.

Dec 18, 2012#53

Cajungal

Zappit said:
You're seriously kidding, right?

I was really having a rough time the last few days because of the Sandy Hook massacre. I was emotional in that thread and needed to get away a bit. I couldn't even pick up a pencil and work on Pixel for awhile. I started this thread, revealing my stupid, innocent crush because it felt like it would be refreshing, stupid, and well...fun. Just completely different and light. I needed a bit of that. Post some stupid pics, act a tad foolish, and get away from the heavy stuff.

Went to hell pretty quickly, though. Never wanted it to degenerate the way it did.

Of course that last bit was a joke! It's clear this was meant to be a fun and playful thread.

Dec 18, 2012#54

Zappit

Cajungal said:
Of course that last bit was a joke! It's clear this was meant to be a fun and playful thread.

Oh, thank God. I do not want to be the creepy guy on the forum.

Especially since I could never hope to match Jay's legacy in that department.

Dec 18, 2012#55

bhamv3

So... I should put this envelope away now?

Dec 18, 2012#56

Emrys

It would probably be for the best

Dec 18, 2012#57

Zappit

bhamv3 said:
So... I should put this envelope away now?

I would.

Dec 18, 2012#58

Cajungal

bhamv3 said:
So... I should put this envelope away now?

I'll take it. I'm making a scarf for Fred Phelps.

Dec 18, 2012#59

DarkAudit

Unless it contains money. In that case, send it directly to... me.

Dec 18, 2012#60

Emrys

Cajungal said:
I'll take it. I'm making a scarf for Fred Phelps.

Are you knitting it with barbed wire?

Dec 18, 2012#61

DarkAudit

Razor wire. :twisted:

Dec 18, 2012#62

Emrys

I like your philosophy and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Dec 18, 2012#63

Zappit

Oh, do coat it with salt!

Dec 18, 2012#64

Emrys

Never mind, I like Zappit's philosophy better now.

Dec 18, 2012#65

Hailey Knight

Zappit said:
You're seriously kidding, right?

If you couldn't tell she was kidding, then no, she wasn't.

Everyone, to avoid future mistakes, please label your posts with the appropriate emoticons.

As for the "fuck you, Charlie" wagon, sometimes he earns it, sometimes he doesn't. I haven't seen anyone jump on him just for posting; I've seen plenty of times people jump on him for what he's posting. For example, I don't see anyone getting on his case when he's talking about Breaking Bad. But when he gets on his broken record/high horse with the same antagonistic crap as always, reacting as if he was trying to have an earnest discussion when someone comes after him for it--yeah, he has the mockery coming to him. But it's in the eye of the reader whether a specific time is justified or not.

Dec 18, 2012#66

BananaHands

I DON'T KNOW WHO'S KIDDING ANYMORE

Dec 18, 2012#67

Krisken

BananaHands said:
I DON'T KNOW WHO'S KIDDING ANYMORE

That there is a forum-wide epidemic.

Dec 18, 2012#68

PatrThom

Ravenpoe said:
Man, Hugh Laurie couldn't even diagnose my illness. Fake that english accent all you want, Mister, I know you know what's wrong with me!

Actually, he fakes the American accent. The English one is natural, what with him being British and all.

--Patrick

Dec 18, 2012#69

Ravenpoe

PatrThom said:
Actually, he fakes the American accent. The English one is natural, what with him being British and all.

--Patrick

Dec 18, 2012#70

PatrThom

Ravenpoe said:

Funnyjunk. Reposting stuff since 2001, but God forbid you try and hotlink anything from their site. Oh no you di'n't.

--Patrick

Dec 18, 2012#71

Ravenpoe

fixed

Dec 18, 2012#72

PatrThom

Ravenpoe said:

--Patrick

Dec 18, 2012#73

Shannow

This is simply terrible, and you should all feel bad for yourselves. Myself included.

Dec 19, 2012#74

T

The_Khan

I don't even know who she is.

Dec 19, 2012#75

Frank

It's only cool when Charlie makes comments like the one he's rallying against. If the search worked, I'd find the few he's made in different threads in the media madness forum.

Dec 19, 2012#76

Shannow

Dec 19, 2012#77

GasBandit

Gusto said:
I agree as well.

Additionally, I'm getting a little frustrated with a lot of posters here flying off the handle whenever Charlie deigns to post anything.

STFU Gusto

Dec 19, 2012#78

Chippy

"lol charlie calm down it's not that serious NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT GAAAH"
This thread's weird.

Dec 19, 2012#79

HCGLNS

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

A Fat Waft Gap Cod

Your riddles are weird Charles.

Dec 19, 2012#80

PatrThom

He just Shatnerized it, that's all.

--Patrick

Dec 20, 2012#81

Gilgamesh

For those defending Charlie, do not forget he admitted to intentionally posting trollish behavior in sensitive threads for the reaction it gets and the entertainment he gets out of it. He's here for the comedy and the soap box, never to have a real indepth conversation about anything meaningful. The moment someone attempts to discuss something with him and a counter point with strong facts and a good argument, he leaves the thread or deflects while flying off the handle at another post. The reaction he gets is the reaction he wants and defending him is almost as funny as anyone who takes him seriously.

Dec 20, 2012#82

CynicismKills

Shannow said:

Of course she does! A skinny, attractive guy that wears tight jeans and glasses is a dork, right? What's Dragons and Dungeons? My Inento doesn't seem to work, the on button's got a red light on it.

Dec 20, 2012#83

figmentPez

I guess it all depends on your definition of "dork". If we go by this dictionary definition "a silly, out-of-touch person who tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit" then there are a lot of attractive women who like dorks. There are a lot of ridiculously attractive women who are dorks.

However, another dictionary definition is "a stupid or incompetent person ", and yeah very few people like stupid and incompetent people, regardless of how they look.

So, whatever. I'm kind of sick of this "attractive women can't like, or be, nerds/geeks/dorks" thing.

Dec 20, 2012#84

Tress

figmentPez said:
So, whatever. I'm kind of sick of this "attractive women can't like, or be, nerds/geeks/dorks" thing.

Amen.

Dec 20, 2012#85

BananaHands

I know plenty of women who like/love stupid and incompetent men.

Dec 20, 2012#86

PatrThom

figmentPez said:
However, another dictionary definition is "a stupid or incompetent person ", and yeah very few people like stupid and incompetent people, regardless of how they look.

And there's yet another dictionary definition that is more...vulgar, and lends itself to more commentary. So that T-shirt is open to even more interpretation.

--Patrick

Dec 20, 2012#87

Chippy

figmentPez said:
I guess it all depends on your definition of "dork". If we go by this dictionary definition "a silly, out-of-touch person who tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit" then there are a lot of attractive women who like dorks. There are a lot of ridiculously attractive women who are dorks.

However, another dictionary definition is "a stupid or incompetent person ", and yeah very few people like stupid and incompetent people, regardless of how they look.

So, whatever. I'm kind of sick of this "attractive women can't like, or be, nerds/geeks/dorks" thing.

Of course they can be all that. But most aren't attracted to neckbeards, whose fedora's get soaked with sweat at the idea of a woman liking nerdy things.

Dec 20, 2012#88

drifter

PatrThom said:
And there's yet another dictionary definition that is more...vulgar, and lends itself to more commentary. So that T-shirt is open to even more interpretation.

--Patrick

Dork dork dork dork dork.

Dec 20, 2012#89

fade

drifter said:
Dork dork dork dork dork.

Forums