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Here's to my balls. I hardly knew ye.

[Military salute]
[Cue footage of slow mo' montage, from the drop to the present day].

O', how many a teenagéd night have I fondled thee. How neglected were ye in many a sexual escapade. Shall I compare thee to a summer day, when thou art swimming in underpants soup?

*le sigh*

Seriously though. I'm off in one hour to get my initial consult. And yes, I know a vasectomy is not a neutering. I'm just playing. Still can't help but feel that I'm losing a little bit of my manhood. The urologist wants my wife there for the consult. Which I find very strange. They're my boys, aren't they?

T.
M.
I.

I'm not surprised that they want your wife there. It's a life-altering decision for the family, not just for you. Here, they prefer to not even consider giving you a vasectomy unless you're over 25 and already have 2 kids.

Though some guys experience life-long complications with a vasectomy, my own personal experience is the only thing you lose is the nagging worry that you're going to inadvertently knock someone up.

Two words for you, Fade:


Anytime.
Anywhere.


It's over quick and you get a lot of sympathy from the wife. Then you shoot blanks.

It's a ballsy procedure and you might be a little teste for awhile following it, but I'm sure you'll still be able to dick around.

What Dave and Tin said +1.

I love not having the worry of pregnancy. I have my two beautiful children. I don't want more and I hate raincoats.

Been cut for 5 years now and have never once regretted it.

Oh Fade, why go through so much trouble and spend so much money?



I'd be MORE than willing to help you out with that and I'll give you a discount. You know, on account of how much I like you and how much fun it'd be. (for me)

I'm back, baby! Other than having some dude play with my balls in front of my wife, it was fairly uneventful. He set up the appointment really soon. Apparently, they're installing some titanium clamps, which possibly could be retrofitted into some sort of weapon. Maybe by clenching really hard, they can become a kind of projectile. Problem is that kind of weapon takes a while to warm up and it only fires twice. Maybe three times when I was fourteen.

"Hang on! I'm reloading."

Some select comics from InkTank's vasectomy story-arc

fade said:

Other than having some dude play with my balls in front of my wife, it was fairly uneventful.

Click to expand...

Now that she's seen it once, she's gonna want to make it a regular thing.





I'm free next weekend.

Gruebeard;264136][quote=fade said:

Other than having some dude play with my balls in front of my wife, it was fairly uneventful.

Click to expand...

Now that she's seen it once, she's gonna want to make it a regular thing.





I'm free next weekend.[/QUOTE]

The following weekend, however, he charges his normal rate of $5/hr. You can find him on Canal street down by the docks.

-Adam

Hey! He charges me $6.75! Seriously, you're gypping me? Damn, you bastard :waah:

I had one coworker who swore that being snipped made him more attractive to women because they knew he wouldn't knock them up.

My husband's going to have his done in about 3 weeks.

WildSoul said:

My husband's going to have his done in about 3 weeks.

Click to expand...

By Frau Blucher, no doubt.

(horses whinny in the background)

-Adam

With a violin string and the stub of her cigar!

WildSoul said:

My husband's going to have his done in about 3 weeks.

Click to expand...

Alright! We can be testibuddies! High-two!

fade;264173][quote=WildSoul said:

My husband's going to have his done in about 3 weeks.

Click to expand...

Alright! We can be testibuddies! High-two![/QUOTE]

That's nadstastic!

-Adam

It takes a special kind of bravery to allow a man with a scalpel near your John Thomas.

Should I ever be lucky enough to have children (still looking for someone willing to procreate with yours truly), I'll join your testibuddy club after kid #3. Or sooner, depending on whether the future missus will tell me "No... more... you... asshole...".

North_Ranger said:

It takes a special kind of bravery to allow a man with a scalpel near your John Thomas.

Should I ever be lucky enough to have children (still looking for someone willing to procreate with yours truly), I'll join your testibuddy club after kid #3. Or sooner, depending on whether the future missus will tell me "No... more... you... asshole...".

Click to expand...

For what it's worth, in a no-stitch vasectomy (like i had), it's not a scalpel, but something more like this:

They uses these scissors/pointed forceps to poke a tiny hole in your nut sack, pull the vas out (like spaghetti) and then do all the work that way, and then stuff it back into that tiny hole.

stienman;264182][quote=fade;264173][quote=WildSoul said:

My husband's going to have his done in about 3 weeks.

Click to expand...

Alright! We can be testibuddies! High-two![/QUOTE]

That's nadstastic!

-Adam[/QUOTE]

You guys are nuts.

Adammon said:

I had one coworker who swore that being snipped made him more attractive to women because they knew he wouldn't knock them up.

Click to expand...

Oh GREAT, like putting on the wedding ring didn't exponentially increase attractiveness to women...

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON TEMPTING US WHEN WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, YOU HARLOTS?!?!?

Armadillo;264276][quote=Adammon said:

I had one coworker who swore that being snipped made him more attractive to women because they knew he wouldn't knock them up.

Click to expand...

Oh GREAT, like putting on the wedding ring didn't exponentially increase attractiveness to women...

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON TEMPTING US WHEN WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, YOU HARLOTS?!?!?[/QUOTE]

Dem bitches be hos, bro.

[/jk][/horrid jive]

These kinds of threads always make my pant-friends shudder. It's a cold tingling sensation, like my genitalia wanted to crawl inside me and hide or start running like mad.

North_Ranger said:

It takes a special kind of bravery to allow a man with a scalpel near your John Thomas.

Should I ever be lucky enough to have children (still looking for someone willing to procreate with yours truly), I'll join your testibuddy club after kid #3. Or sooner, depending on whether the future missus will tell me "No... more... you... asshole...".

Click to expand...

...You'd rather get snipped than have anal sex? Dude, it's fun :-P

I'm going al the way with my boys well attached, no sharp objects near them at all.

I've contemplated freezing some sperm and getting the ol' snip snip. Anytime anywhere appeals to me. I've always been a good boy and had protection and I feel like I've put in my time. I shouldn't have to think about it anymore.

In other news, I love the tags for this thread.

The deed is done. As of about noon. It was really painless. I joked around with the doc the whole time. He was hilarious. His last name anagrams to Nut-seezer, which isn't a perfect anagram, but it's still awesome. I let him know. Now I have to friggin' lie down for 24-48 hours. Annoying.

you get the no scalpel kind?

My vasectomy wasn't exactly painless, since I'm all but immune to anesthesia.

But it really wasn't that painful, honestly.

I like how everyone thinks that unwanted pregnancy is the only consequence of unprotected sex....

Bowielee said:

I like how everyone thinks that unwanted pregnancy is the only consequence of unprotected sex....

Click to expand...

It's the only "condition" solved with a vasectomy...sooo I'm not sure what your point is.

Bowielee said:

I like how everyone thinks that unwanted pregnancy is the only consequence of unprotected sex....

Click to expand...

Many (most?) men who get vasectomies are in a committed long term monogamous relationship, so for the portion of population that gets one unwanted pregnancy is the major consequence.

But you are correct - it's a method of birth control, not STD prevention.

-Adam

stienman;276442][quote=Bowielee said:

I like how everyone thinks that unwanted pregnancy is the only consequence of unprotected sex....

Click to expand...

Many (most?) men who get vasectomies are in a committed long term monogamous relationship, so for the portion of population that gets one unwanted pregnancy is the major consequence.

But you are correct - it's a method of birth control, not STD prevention.

-Adam[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I'm not worried about my husband giving me an STD. Neither of us want another baby though.

Silver Jelly said:

These kinds of threads always make my pant-friends shudder. It's a cold tingling sensation, like my genitalia wanted to crawl inside me and hide or start running like mad.

Click to expand...

You get that too?

JONJONAUG;276599][quote=Silver Jelly said:

These kinds of threads always make my pant-friends shudder. It's a cold tingling sensation, like my genitalia wanted to crawl inside me and hide or start running like mad.

Click to expand...

You get that too?[/QUOTE]

Every time.

I was referring to the people who were saying that they got more strange after getting a vasectemy.

Tinwhistler said:

you get the no scalpel kind?

My vasectomy wasn't exactly painless, since I'm all but immune to anesthesia.

But it really wasn't that painful, honestly.

Click to expand...

No, it was the traditional kind. They just went in with a local and the needle prick in my "area" was the only thing I felt. No pain, since, either. I'm starting to wonder if he actually did anything. There's not even any discomfort, really. I looked, and I could barely see the stitches. This guy gets my recommendation. The whole thing took about 10 minutes max. The only remotely disturbing part was the smell of my own burning flesh when they cauterized. They made me take valium ahead of time, but I don't think it kicked in until afterward, because I slept all day yesterday. Seriously...I woke up with my laptop on my chest, still on this page right after I hit Submit Reply.