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Early in the hours of a slow spreading apocalypse a zombie just bit your arm. That means you have 12 hours or so of regular human function (If it was a papercut the bite would barely sting, but you're still infected) before you suddenly turn into a raging zombie who will be hungry for brains and all that jazz. How do you spend the next 11 hours and 59 minutes?

I spend my time making sure my loved ones are either on their way to a safe zone, or in a secure structure with decent supplies. When my time gets near, I grab a hatchet and throw myself into the fray, to take down as many as I can before I turn.

Can I pass the infection by having sex?
..is zombieism a sexually transmitted disease?

Not much you can do. Make sure my people are ok, give out my supplies and have someone put one between my eyes.

LittleSin said:

Can I pass the infection by having sex?
..is zombieism a sexually transmitted disease?

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Well, yes, she said it was through biting...

I would time it so I could do a perfect rendition of the thriller video.

After making sure that my party was safe, I would give them all my food, water, medical supplies, and extra guns. Then I'd take one gun and one melee weapon, and wade into a big swarm of them. I'd take out as many as I could and then, when I was down to the last bullet, shoot myself in the head to prevent me from reanimating.

I do my best to hide it, because I am a dick, I intend to take as many of my friends and family as I can with me.

HA HA HA!

Help my family and anyone we're travelling with get as far as we can. As my strength starts to fade, I use the last of it to goad my wife into leaving me behind, because I know she wouldn't otherwise. I'd give her one last "I love you," wait until she was out of sight and hearing, then put my last round into my brainpan.

I would find my way to the nearest large university on the presumption that intelligence = deliciousness where brains are concerned.

Despair for a few moments while bandaging the wound. Then make sure my friends and family are safe or getting out safely while taking out as many stenches as I can. If I manage to get a gun, I'll keep one along my hatchet. I'll look back as the convoy leaves, I throw a last farewell to my ex and friends, then sigh and cock my gun as I turn towards the zombie horde.

"Alright, then, fuckers"... *lock and load* "Let's dance."

Leave two bullets in: one to put through my palate into my brainpan, the other a back-up in case I flinch.

Probably just give my things away, say goodbye and wander off.

I would start biting people right away for the full duration so I can get my zombie skills up.

Also..you know....when in Rome.......

I have no idea what you guys are talking abou.....*hrrk*

BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINS!!

I go to Walmart and lock myself and everyone inside and prepare for the great feast of fat and stupid.

I suppose there is only one thing for me to do.
I would kiss my wife goodbye, unload all my weapons and strip off my armor.
I would then throw on my red leather jacket and fingerless gloves and...
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DANCE.

I was discussing this with my friends just the other day and we all agreed that none of us would hide our infection as not only is it a dick move but it doesn't help anything to hide it.

A bullet to the brainpan is the only option followed by throwing my body into a furnace of some kind.

There are some pretty brave people here wanting to go out killing the enemy however I dislike the idea of being ripped apart by zombies even if my death is assured.

My problem with going out fighting is that you take your weapons with you. If I were bit and by myself, sure I might as well sit on a watertower and pick off as many of them as I can before I go. If I'm with a group though, and I take my gun with me as I venture out for one last hurrah I've taken a gun away from the group that they aren't going to be getting back.

I would...


Talk to to corporate (like a zom)
Approve memos (like a zom)
Lead a workshop (like a zom)
Remember birthdays (like a zom)
Direct workflow (like a zom)
My own bathroom (like a zom)
Micromanage (like a zom)
Promote Synergy (like a zom)
Hit on Debra (like a zom)
Get rejected (like a zom)
Swallow sadness (like a zom)
Send some faxes (like a zom)
Call a sex line (like a zom)
Cry deeply (like a zom)
Demand a refund (like a zom)
Eat a bagel (like a zom)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a zom)
No promotion (like a zom)
Fifth of vodka (like a zom)
Shit on Debra's desk (like a zom)
Buy a gun (like a zom)
In my mouth (like a zom)
Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it... shit!
Pussy out (like a zom)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a zom)
Jump out the window (like a zom)
Suck a dude's dick (like a zom)
Score some coke (like a zom)
Crash my car (like a zom)
Suck my own dick (like a zom)
Eat some chicken strips (like a zom)
Chop my balls off (like a zom)
Black out in the sewer (like a zom)
Meet a giant fish (like a zom)
Fuck its brains out (like a zom)
Turn into a jet (like a zom)
Bomb the Russians (like a zom)
Crash into the sun (like a zom)
Now I'm dead (like a zom)

Chazwozel said:

I would...

Now I'm undead (like a zom)

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Fixed your typo

?

UDFy-38135539 said:

?

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That's the joke...

UDFy-38135539 said:

?

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smh

phil said:

My problem with going out fighting is that you take your weapons with you. If I were bit and by myself, sure I might as well sit on a watertower and pick off as many of them as I can before I go. If I'm with a group though, and I take my gun with me as I venture out for one last hurrah I've taken a gun away from the group that they aren't going to be getting back.

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Well, I would take a bow and a quiver full of arrows, but I'm a better shot with an assault rifle.

North_Ranger;450148][QUOTE=phil said:

My problem with going out fighting is that you take your weapons with you. If I were bit and by myself, sure I might as well sit on a watertower and pick off as many of them as I can before I go. If I'm with a group though, and I take my gun with me as I venture out for one last hurrah I've taken a gun away from the group that they aren't going to be getting back.

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Well, I would take a bow and a quiver full of arrows, but I'm a better shot with an assault rifle.[/QUOTE]

See, that's the thing though, so are you loved ones if you're with them. They could use that rifle as a back up if their primary weapon breaks or something. Not so, if you're going to just stay behind and take as many of them with you as you can.

Again, it doesn't really matter if you find yourself alone.

If I'm with a group I say do whatever you can, but be sure to let one of them off you so they still have the weapon you carried.

phil;450152][QUOTE=North_Ranger;450148][QUOTE=phil said:

My problem with going out fighting is that you take your weapons with you. If I were bit and by myself, sure I might as well sit on a watertower and pick off as many of them as I can before I go. If I'm with a group though, and I take my gun with me as I venture out for one last hurrah I've taken a gun away from the group that they aren't going to be getting back.

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Well, I would take a bow and a quiver full of arrows, but I'm a better shot with an assault rifle.[/QUOTE]

See, that's the thing though, so are you loved ones if you're with them. They could use that rifle as a back up if their primary weapon breaks or something. Not so, if you're going to just stay behind and take as many of them with you as you can.

Again, it doesn't really matter if you find yourself alone.

If I'm with a group I say do whatever you can, but be sure to let one of them off you so they still have the weapon you carried.[/QUOTE]

Okay, let me amend my position, then.

If my loved ones have sufficient numbers of firearms, I will take one assault rifle and a maximum of three clips (á 30 rounds, so a total of 90 shots) and a hatchet/other suitable bladed weapon with me. If not, I'll ask for a bullet to the brainpan and getting doused with gas and burnt so I won't feed the hordes. With a suitably fortified position, I could technically take out a good 30 or so (counting for possible errors in aiming and likely loss of motor control as the 12-hour ticker grows shorter) zombies down before I put a slug through my brain. I know it's a weird line of thought, but in that kind of a position I would like to go down knowing I had done all I could before the final curtain.

I would hide my infection as best as I could, and make my way to the nearest safe-zone, with the selfish hope that they might find a cure before I turn.

I know myself pretty well. I'm a nice guy. But when the chips are down, I'm probably a self-preservation asshole.

I would obtain and put on a t-shirt that says "I'm not a zombie, don't shoot me" and then wait it out.

I wonder how many apocalypse survivors would fall for it.

I'd spend the time getting some good headgear, as head wounds seem to be the leading cause of fatalities among zombies.

TommiR said:

I'd spend the time getting some good headgear, as head wounds seem to be the leading cause of fatalities among zombies.

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You traitorous tamperelainen...

TommiR said:

I'd spend the time getting some good headgear, as head wounds seem to be the leading cause of fatalities among zombies.

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Awesome.

I'd lead an anti-anti-zombie movement, and campaign for the Rights of The Infected.

Zombies are people too!

Although I'd still oppose zombie marriage on principle.

First Lady Puffinstuff said:

I'd lead an anti-anti-zombie movement, and campaign for the Rights of The Infected.

Zombies are people too!

Although I'd still oppose zombie marriage on principle.

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I'd find anyone campaigning for the rights of the infected and lock them in a room with a bunch of zombies...

Actually, I'd probably do what a lot of people here have done and make sure that my loved ones are as safe as possible (if they're still around). I'm not sure how I would terminate myself though... gunshot would be the easiest... but I don't think I would take a firearm from the group if I didn't have to.

I'd cry like a little girl and probably eat a bag of chips.

I'd look for the funniest place for my zombie-self to be found and just hide there.

You know, like in an outhouse with my pants around my ankles. Or in a comic book store dressed as batman.

Something like that. Just make sure that I have time to plan that and give the survivors a good laugh before they blow my brains out.

I'd have my loved ones put a hockey mask over my face and multiple pairs of mittens on me. Then I can turn and they can keep me around.

I wonder if you put a zombie in a giant hamster wheel and teased it with food, would it walk forever and in turn solve our energy problems?

HCGLNS has the most interesting answer by faaaar, bumble second

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:

I'd look for the funniest place for my zombie-self to be found and just hide there.

You know, like in an outhouse with my pants around my ankles. Or in a comic book store dressed as batman.

Something like that. Just make sure that I have time to plan that and give the survivors a good laugh before they blow my brains out.

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You probably have enough time to mock up and print out an edition of "Zombie Times" magazine or something. Then sit in the outhouse, and when they come to get you, look up and question, "Brains?"

find the nearest nursery. hmmmmmm baby brains

Math242 said:

find the nearest nursery. hmmmmmm baby brains

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They're not as good eatin', but imagine if you controlled a horrible undead army of babies! There is nothing you couldn't conquer!

"Wait Mary, I think it's a zombie!"

"Aw, how could such a cute widdle girl be a zomb - YOWCH! It bit me!"

Waayyyyyy too many selfless people here. Just making me sick.

First, I would bite my girlfriend when no one was looking and tell everyone a zombie bit her. They would buy me the needed time to start putting as much armor on my head as I possibly could. Then, I would get my group to hold up in some room with me for the night, and tell them I take first watch. Presumably, I will turn while they are all asleep and go to town on them. The next day, we start fresh as a band of zombies.

Sharing is caring.

Necronic said:

Waayyyyyy too many selfless people here. Just making me sick.

First, I would bite my girlfriend when no one was looking and tell everyone a zombie bit her. They would buy me the needed time to start putting as much armor on my head as I possibly could. Then, I would get my group to hold up in some room with me for the night, and tell them I take first watch. Presumably, I will turn while they are all asleep and go to town on them. The next day, we start fresh as a band of zombies.

Sharing is caring.

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You could probably be a bit more subtle and speed up the process. Take your saliva, and inject it into everyone, telling them you found a way to immunize them. They'll all turn much quicker, and as a group of zombies you'll be better off with fewer wounds from biting, leading to quicker disintegration.

Or just go about licking everyone. That would be more fun.

---------- Post added at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:52 PM ----------

Ooh, as an added bonus, when you did change, you'd know who tasted best.

Fun Size said:

Or just go about licking everyone. That would be more fun.

---------- Post added at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:52 PM ----------

Ooh, as an added bonus, when you did change, you'd know who tasted best.

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lick lick lick

"Did you just lick me?!"

"What - who, me? Never! Why would I lick you!"

I dunno - you could probably get away with it once or twice, people probably would chalk it up to panic in close spaces, but I can't imagine you'd be able to lick everyone without someone wondering just what you were up to.

"Oohh, hey, is that chocolate on your fingers? Lemme just... " grab... slurp slurp slurp "mmmmm, nummy!"

I suppose it would depend on culture, age, and relationship. I just don't think it would go down very well for a group of americans, but who knows what might be possible in other cultures...

See, this is why I make a standard practice of randomly licking people. Then, they're not surprised when I start.

Volunteer to cook that night, then bleed in everyone's food. Not sure whether or not I'd tell them...

I don't want to be a zombie alone.

A zombie just bit me?! Oh god.

Oh. God.

GET IT OFF

A ZOMBIE JUST BIT MEEEEEEEEE

I'd try gay sex, just to see what all those guys on Bravo are always going on about.

fade said:

I'd try gay sex, just to see what all those guys on Bravo are always going on about.

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Best

Bumble the Boy Wonder;450569][QUOTE=fade said:

I'd try gay sex, just to see what all those guys on Bravo are always going on about.

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Best[/QUOTE]

Bumble's avatar, saying "gay sex is the best" is hilariously wrong.