I'd honestly be more weirded out if I went to a party hosted by someone I barely knew...and was given a present. You know what the best thing about parties are? Not about what you get them, getting wasted, or anything like that, it's about hanging out with people. From what I skimmed of the thread (because I really don't want to focus too much energy on another Norris-esque thread), you don't seem to have a problem with the guy. I don't see what the big honking deal is. You're blowing this way out of proportion. Just like you're blowing out of proportion pretty much everything everyone is saying...again.
[Question] Am I being unreasonably uninclusive here?
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M
makare
Why do you care what these guys think anyway? You obviously don't agree with them. Their opinions are irrelevant to what you want and can do. Giving them more and more opportunities to bitch at you doesn't do anything to help you is my point. So if you think you are defending yourself you are mistaken.
And since the event is still six days from now and no one but you bastards are privy to this line of thought, I've shirked neither of those obligations.
Added at: 18:59
By skimming it, you of course missed that I have welcomed not just Best Man but Miss W's boyfriend to the gathering, changed it to accommodation them better, and am still looking forward to it.
And I know I would feel tremendously awkward and out of place if I were at a party I hadn't been invited to and was the only person to not get a gift. Not in the "you shoulda got me something" way but in the "why did you bring me here" way.
But... but you have started to shirk it. There's time to change though. I'm not saying "put on a happy face and play nice". I mean literally want to be around him. Be happy, be grateful that he is coming starting now. Be excited to see him. That way, when you do, it will be legitimate pleasure. It's trite but negative thinking results in negative emotion. If you plan on a having a bad time, boy will you ever.
Honestly, I just think you care too much about Christmas. I get that you planned on having a small gathering, but I don't see why it is such a big deal that it isnt. Your plan was to eat dinner, give gifts, and watch a movie. I'm sure the guy would understand if you apologized and said you couldn't afford another gift on such short notice. Other than that, I don't understand how an extra person that you like would make a difference. If he's the friends' best man, I doubt theres anything that would really be said in front of you that wouldn't be said in front of him. I can't imagine them having a different reaction to the gifts because other people were there. And watching a movie is just sitting there for an hour and a half without talking, unless if you want to make snide comments, but that doesn't sound very personal and intimate either. Basically, I don't see why you can't just forget Steak N Shake and have the same gathering with one or two extra people involved.
Because I'm bored and lonely? Because I literally have nothing better to do today? Because some broken part of my brain refuses to let any challenge of my character go answered? I don't know. It has killed the shit out of some time today though.
The friend who is coming with them, you mean? The friend who I said "yes, bring him along" about?
I may not have been clear on this, but with the change of venue and attendant change in tone, I am looking forward to seeing everyone. I will be a part of their group.
With the recent drift I've had from some of my friends from high school, you damn well better realize I'm happy to be included once more.
M
makare
well as long as you are happy.. i guess?
You might think or feel that way, but they might not. All it takes is a "Sorry I couldn't get you guys something, too" and don't make a big deal about it because it's NOT A BIG DEAL. It's just a present.
It would still be awkward. Or I would feel awkward in the same situation.
The little sister and Mrs. M might not be so open about their highly personal funny stories. He wouldn't know a damn thing about what's been going on in Grand Rapids. Etc.
Its the personalized and somewhat gooshy notes that would be weird.
MST-ing with friends is the best part of watching a movie, man. And which would you prefer - hanging out in some guy you met once's basement or hanging out at a restaurant you and friends hang out frequently? Besides, plan made. Stick to plan. I'm not Mitt Romney over here.
It's extraordinary how omniscient Drifter was when posting the first reply to this thread. This is now the second epic trainwreck thread by Norris.
I think everything that has to be said,has been said. It is up to him now and as usual nothing we say can change his mind.Sometimes I wonder if he is just a really good troll.
(Anybody have a Fry "Not sure if trolling,or just tremendously thickheaded" image?)
(Anybody have a Fry "Not sure if trolling,or just tremendously thickheaded" image?)
How can my mind not be changed? I took the thread's advice by post 8. Posted proof in post 11. Further proof:
What exactly am I being thickheaded about? I admit that my initial expectations were overly specific, that I should have expressed them to my guests, and that there's a chance that Best Man wouldn't have felt left out (even though, having been in pretty much the same situation, there's a good chance he would have). But I solved the problem, created a solution everyone seems to be happy with, and didn't let my guests in on any of this. So far as they know, I opted to invite more people and decided my house was no longer the right venue. Ta-da.
What exactly am I being thickheaded about? I admit that my initial expectations were overly specific, that I should have expressed them to my guests, and that there's a chance that Best Man wouldn't have felt left out (even though, having been in pretty much the same situation, there's a good chance he would have). But I solved the problem, created a solution everyone seems to be happy with, and didn't let my guests in on any of this. So far as they know, I opted to invite more people and decided my house was no longer the right venue. Ta-da.
Then stop making a big deal about it and go have a good time.
I will, just as soon as it is Sunday night at 5PM. Until then, I'm going to defend myself against accusations that I want to fuck someone I think of as family.
@Shego - Yeeeaahh. If I actually worried one lick about finals I might find something better to do (or raeg against), but as it is I'm having a "bathing and pants was optional, wasn't it" kind of day.
Or talk!Thats a ridiculous picture Shego. Cats can't use computers.
Or you could just chalk it down to Mathias being Chaz-like and walk away.
That would require me to not take things way too personally. We both know that's not going to happen, it never has happened (in my decade of message boarding all over the net), and I've accepted this.
Sooo what's the point of this thread then?How can my mind not be changed? I took the thread's advice by post 8. Posted proof in post 11. Further proof:
What exactly am I being thickheaded about? I admit that my initial expectations were overly specific, that I should have expressed them to my guests, and that there's a chance that Best Man wouldn't have felt left out (even though, having been in pretty much the same situation, there's a good chance he would have). But I solved the problem, created a solution everyone seems to be happy with, and didn't let my guests in on any of this. So far as they know, I opted to invite more people and decided my house was no longer the right venue. Ta-da.
You might not be ready for the Internet, if that's the case.
Your "character" is already firmly impunged from the last time there was a "Norris advice" thread. You asked for the advice, it was given and (more or less) taken. Walk away.
That's what I'm doing:
That's what I'm doing:
Im out.
Defending myself.
I just went to read the dating advice thread since I missed it the first time around, and laughed when I saw Charlie answered it in the first reply and it lasted 11 more pages. Then I stopped.
This thread can end without outside intervention if a solution has been reached.
I'd actually be interested to hear Norris' post-mortem on Monday morning, on how the party actually went, if he feels so inclined.
This thread can end without outside intervention if a solution has been reached.
I'd actually be interested to hear Norris' post-mortem on Monday morning, on how the party actually went, if he feels so inclined.
Added at: 19:51
You should totally lock the thread on the Picard facepalm.I just went to read the dating advice thread since I missed it the first time around, and laughed when I saw Charlie answered it in the first reply and it lasted 11 more pages. Then I stopped.
This thread can end without outside intervention if a solution has been reached.
I'd actually be interested to hear Norris' post-mortem on Monday morning, on how the party actually went, if he feels so inclined.
You started the thread to have a non-problem with an obvious solution with the expected result of defending yourself, which was its purpose? That's deep.
Can't imagine why.
I was told that I should not date anyone until I seek therapy I can't for problems I don't agree I have. I don't think I need much more than Chris Hardwick's "The Nerdist Way" self-help book (because he sounds like someone who went through a number of the same problems I have without seeking therapy for anything other than alcoholism) to work on geting better, I eagerly await getting it for Christmas.
I will also point out that Charlie was wrong - Mads was emphatically not interested in me and was just giving friendly advice.
If?
Sure, but it will likely be boring. Prediction: we all met up around five, had dinner, shot the shit for three hours, tipped big, went home. Oh, and I gave Mrs. M a box with the presents in it on our way to our respective cars. Fun times."I'd actually be interested to hear Norris' post-mortem on Monday morning, on how the party actually went, if he feels so inclined.
Nope, but if I DO lock this thread, I now have the perfect image in mind.
Totally worth all the wringing of hands.
If you learn to loosen up, you'll have a better time of life in general. But that would mean changing yourself, and that goes to the no-no zone.
Added at: 19:58
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