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Bumper Stickers

#1

strawman

strawman

Saw one today:

"My other ride is your mom"

Made me chuckle.

-Adam


#2

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

"Honk one more time, I've got a gun and I'm itching to use it"


#3



Lally

"my other car is my status symbol"


#4



Pojodan

"Stop honking! I'm on the phone!"


#5

Enresshou

Enresshou

Shegokigo said:
"Honk one more time, I've got a gun and I'm itching to use it"
Click to expand...
And the awesome variant, "Keep honking. I'm reloading."


#6

Fun Size

Fun Size

My rant on bumper stickers, only because it's relevant.

Here by Ann Arbor, I've stopped trying to read them all. Some of these vans looks like Google News headlines.


#7



Wasabi Poptart

I nearly bought this one as a magnet for my delivery van when I was working for my parents:

Jesus Loves You
everyone else thinks you're an asshole


#8

Espy

Espy

The lady who has been parking next to me has this little gem on her car:

"Goddess on the loose"

I've met her. Nothing could be further from the truth.


#9

Thread Necromancer

Thread Necromancer

I've never seen this but I would love to see some religious venue print up a lot of:

I do my best work on my knees.


reference praying. you dirty people


#10



Pojodan

Espy said:
The lady who has been parking next to me has this little gem on her car:

"Goddess on the loose"

I've met her. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Click to expand...
I think maybe she's just referring to her ex-lover.


#11

Espy

Espy

Pojodan;253943][quote=Espy said:
The lady who has been parking next to me has this little gem on her car:

"Goddess on the loose"

I've met her. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Click to expand...
I think maybe she's just referring to her ex-lover.[/QUOTE]

Hmmm. You might be right.

It would explain all those bear traps she keeps setting around the place.


#12

Cajungal

Cajungal

"A bumper sticker is someone's way of saying 'hey, let's never hang out.'"
-Dmitri Martin


#13

Just Me

Just Me

Honk if you like Geeses

Jeese if you like Honkus


#14



Roxxoredizorz

"If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair"


#15

Espy

Espy

I just really, really hate bumper stickers. I hate them so much. Even this thread is making me angry.


#16



Kitty Sinatra

We don't really do bumper stickers up here in Canada - or at least Ontario - but there are a rare few sticking around. And I mean, they're rare enough that it surprises me to see a a bumper sticker. Anyway, I keep seeing one Chevy around town with a sticker on it that says

"Not out of a job yet? Keep buying foreign"


Now, the irony of this is that in my town here Toyota has recently set up shop here, and they've got another plant just down the highway. Honda and Suzuki also build cars in this province.

But that Chevy with the sticker? It's not built in Canada. The fucking idiot who stuck that sticker on his car is a fucking idiot.


#17

Vytamindi

Vytamindi

My aunt, the writer, has her license plate that reads BIMBO. I love it.


#18

Krisken

Krisken

My old bumper stickers said "Thank you for not breeding" and "Save the planet, kill yourself".
I'm not as jaded as I used to me.


#19

ElJuski

ElJuski

Bumper stickers usually are stupid and suck. HOWEVER, I saw a great one the other day:

"Stay Fit Eat Right Die Anyways" :p


#20

Espy

Espy

My favorite is "Hi, I'm passive agressive so I'm going to use my bumper sticker to insult something you believe in."
Okay, so there aren't any that actually say that but that is what many of them are saying anyway.


#21

General Specific

General Specific

My old car had a few bumper stickers. Mostly ones like, "Never have strong opinions about things you don't understand"

My favorite was "For such a small town, there sure are a lot of idiots here." because it is very true.


#22

PatrThom

PatrThom

The mark of a really good bumper sticker (or button, for that matter) is that it should be chuckle-inducing yet be forgotten almost instantly. I've seen plenty that fit this description, can't remember many of them. Not even the one I found in the attic just a couple of weeks ago (which is still in the attic...no, I'm not gonna go get it down).

I think one of the ones I've seen that was the most amusing was someone's take on the 700 Club's marriage bumper sticker. They had requested multiple copies of this (free) bumper sticker, cut them up and assembled them so that one would be untouched, another would be two men, another was one man and 3 women, etc. Brilliant.

--Patrick


#23

Shannow

Shannow

Enresshou;253786][quote=Shegokigo said:
"Honk one more time, I've got a gun and I'm itching to use it"
Click to expand...
And the awesome variant, "Keep honking. I'm reloading."[/QUOTE]

I actually put that one on my very first car years ago.


#24

drawn_inward

drawn_inward

I really don't like that 'Co-exist' one that is so ubiquitous, and pretty much any of the other ones.

Hell, I don't even like the dealer sticker/decals on my car. I usually make an effort to remove any thing like that.


#25

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I have a hard time putting a $1 sticker on my $20,000 car. I even had the dealer take his decal off.


#26



Le Quack

I want a bumper sticker that goes on the front of my car that says "Don't fucking slow down in front of me, jackass"


#27

Shannow

Shannow

sixpackshaker said:
I have a hard time putting a $1 sticker on my $20,000 car. I even had the dealer take his decal off.
Click to expand...
That is the way i feel now. But that old first clunker I got as a hand me down in high school a decade ago, well, fuck all to that!


#28

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Because I'm bored, here's a Cheesy Original:



#29

Shannow

Shannow

Aaaaand, I jsut spit water over my keyboard here at work. :rofl:


#30



Le Quack

DUDE! You could sell those and be a billionaire


#31

Jake

Jake

A friend of mine had one that said:

JESUS!
I love Phish


#32

Rob King

Rob King

I don't like the 'Coexist' one either. We're coexisting right now, jackass. Just some better than others.

I hate my university's slogan for the same reason. "Become." Become what? You're really being quite vague. You're encouraging me to become something, but haven't so much as given me a direction to go in. When I become a hooker, I hope you're proud.


#33

CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

Cheesy1 said:
Because I'm bored, here's a Cheesy Original:

Click to expand...
I win!

http://www.cafepress.com/Smally


#34

Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Wow, I just made it as a joke. Didn't think people would actually want to buy it. Sure there's not any copyright problems with that? Not sure if someone actually has a claim to Pedo there.


#35

fade

fade

Why all the flak about using someone else's words? You'd have to get rid of greeting cards, too. And balloons. You could even argue that stopping at words is arbitrary: you chose the car you drive partly (unless circumstances like money drove your decision) because the design someone else came up with reflected your sense of style. And on and on and on...


#36

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I hate when the person in front of me does some thing stupid like short stopping. I plant my brakes and yell "JESUS!"

Only to see that the reason I yelled "JESUS"was because it was written on the back of their car. They led me to sin with their 2 different causes.


#37

bigcountry23

bigcountry23

Jesus Saves, the rest of you take full damage.

Jusus saves, passes to Moses, He shoots, he SCORES!

One by one, the penguins steal my sanity.

SL,UT


#38



Batdan

Before I traded my PT Cruiser in, I had one on the back that said "Toonces is my copilot."

I would have thought more people would know what it was referencing. Sheesh.


#39

Vytamindi

Vytamindi

Batdan said:
Before I traded my PT Cruiser in, I had one on the back that said "Toonces is my copilot."

I would have thought more people would know what it was referencing. Sheesh.
Click to expand...
Well, at least he's not your pilot!!! :bush:


#40

General Specific

General Specific

I've seen numerous bumper stickers here in the south proclaiming that "God/Jesus is my pilot" and even seen one that said "If God is your copilot, switch seats!"

I just have to roll my eyes at that.


#41

MindDetective

MindDetective

My brother gave me a license plate frame that reads: "When I'm famous / I won't be driving this car" It's the only statement I allow my car to make for me, mostly because it is true.


#42



Kitty Sinatra

That assumes that wealth always comes with fame. But what happens when you are famous for something ridiculous? Like driving that shitty car?


hmmm, I could've worked harder on this joke.


#43

MindDetective

MindDetective

Gruebeard said:
That assumes that wealth always comes with fame. But what happens when you are famous for something ridiculous? Like driving that shitty car?


hmmm, I could've worked harder on this joke.
Click to expand...
I would obviously get a new car if I was famous for that!


#44

Gared

Gared

I think one of my favorites was the magnetic ribbon (like the support our troops, etc.) that said "Support the Magnetic Ribbon Industry."


#45

Bubble181

Bubble181

Don't really ever see any bumper stickers on cars here. Only thing you get here are those silly "baby on board" things, which just plain suck.


#46

Silver Jelly

Silver Jelly

Bubble181 said:
Don't really ever see any bumper stickers on cars here. Only thing you get here are those silly \"baby on board\" things, which just plain suck.
Click to expand...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOZzXAaVmOE


#47

Vytamindi

Vytamindi

A buh-billion years ago my alma mater printed some alumni band bumper stickers. If I can ever get my hands on one, I will stick it on some huge magnet and slap it on my car.

See? I can't even commit to that on a sticker level!


#48

Dave

Dave

I have one bumper sticker. "Dallas Cowboys".

But my bumper sticker story.

When I was in high school in the 1980s (shut up) it was during the time of the "I :heart: My ..." fad that I'm glad is gone. But it was great fun when National Lampoon magazine sold little stickers with pictures of screws on them. So a friend of mine and I bought 250 of them and went to the mall...

By the time we left we were almost out and the cars all proudly proclaimed "I [screw] My Dog", "I [screw] My Kids", "I [screw] Jesus"...


#49

Gusto

Gusto



#50

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Dave said:
I have one bumper sticker. "Dallas Cowboys".

But my bumper sticker story.

When I was in high school in the 1980s (shut up) it was during the time of the "I :heart: My ..." fad that I'm glad is gone. But it was great fun when National Lampoon magazine sold little stickers with pictures of screws on them. So a friend of mine and I bought 250 of them and went to the mall...

By the time we left we were almost out and the cars all proudly proclaimed "I [screw] My Dog", "I [screw] My Kids", "I [screw] Jesus"...
Click to expand...
Ah, the good ol' days before the police state, mall surveillance cameras...


#51

HoboNinja

HoboNinja

Gruebeard said:
We don't really do bumper stickers up here in Canada - or at least Ontario - but there are a rare few sticking around. And I mean, they're rare enough that it surprises me to see a a bumper sticker. Anyway, I keep seeing one Chevy around town with a sticker on it that says

"Not out of a job yet? Keep buying foreign"


Now, the irony of this is that in my town here Toyota has recently set up shop here, and they've got another plant just down the highway. Honda and Suzuki also build cars in this province.

But that Chevy with the sticker? It's not built in Canada. The fucking idiot who stuck that sticker on his car is a fucking idiot.
Click to expand...
Are you sure it wasn't made in Canada? A lot of Chevrolet cars are made up there, my sister's Monte Carlo was made in Canuckastan.


#52

Dave

Dave

sixpackshaker;256005][quote=Dave said:
I have one bumper sticker. \"Dallas Cowboys\".

But my bumper sticker story.

When I was in high school in the 1980s (shut up) it was during the time of the \"I :heart: My ...\" fad that I'm glad is gone. But it was great fun when National Lampoon magazine sold little stickers with pictures of screws on them. So a friend of mine and I bought 250 of them and went to the mall...

By the time we left we were almost out and the cars all proudly proclaimed \"I [screw] My Dog\", \"I [screw] My Kids\", \"I [screw] Jesus\"...
Click to expand...
Ah, the good ol' days before the police state, mall surveillance cameras...[/QUOTE]

Apparently we weren't the only ones who did this.


#53

Thread Necromancer

Thread Necromancer

Not a bumper sticker but a license plate holder I saw yesterday proudly proclaims:

If hell freezes over/ I'll sky there too.


#54

General Specific

General Specific

Thread Necromancer said:
Not a bumper sticker but a license plate holder I saw yesterday proudly proclaims:

If hell freezes over/ I'll sky there too.
Click to expand...
But hell is underground, there is no sky...


#55



Silvanesti

:bush:
Thread Necromancer said:
Not a bumper sticker but a license plate holder I saw yesterday proudly proclaims:

If hell freezes over/ I'll sky there too.
Click to expand...
:bush:


#56

Cajungal

Cajungal

I love the plain square black ones that say in white letters:

"W

The President"

No indication of being positive or negative, just stating that he was the president. No commentary at all, just reminding us I guess. Thanks, guy in front of me?


#57



Kitty Sinatra

HoboNinja;256012][quote=Gruebeard said:
We don't really do bumper stickers up here in Canada - or at least Ontario - but there are a rare few sticking around. And I mean, they're rare enough that it surprises me to see a a bumper sticker. Anyway, I keep seeing one Chevy around town with a sticker on it that says

"Not out of a job yet? Keep buying foreign"


Now, the irony of this is that in my town here Toyota has recently set up shop here, and they've got another plant just down the highway. Honda and Suzuki also build cars in this province.

But that Chevy with the sticker? It's not built in Canada. The fucking idiot who stuck that sticker on his car is a fucking idiot.
Click to expand...
Are you sure it wasn't made in Canada? A lot of Chevrolet cars are made up there, my sister's Monte Carlo was made in Canuckastan.[/QUOTE]

No. I looked it up. Also damn right Chevys are made in Canuckistan. I build one.


#58



Soliloquy

"This car protected by security sticker" was one that I took a liking to.


#59

General Specific

General Specific

Cajungal said:
I love the plain square black ones that say in white letters:

"W

The President"

No indication of being positive or negative, just stating that he was the president. No commentary at all, just reminding us I guess. Thanks, guy in front of me?
Click to expand...
My uncle has (had?) one like that the read:

"M

The Moron"


#60

Allen who is Quiet

Allen, who is Quiet

I KICK MEN'S ASSES AND I VOTE


#61

Cajungal

Cajungal

Bumper stickers I don't really care about. Some can be funny. Ones that try and convey some serious message are usually annoying. What I hate are vanity plates that say things like "SPOILED." :mad:


#62

Gusto

Gusto

Allen said:
I KICK MEN'S ASSES AND I VOTE
Click to expand...
Second best Achewood bumper sticker.


Right after DON'T EAT IN YOUR CAR OR USE THE PHONE IT IS NOT A GOD-DAMNED PHONE RESTAURANT


#63

Cajungal

Cajungal

Gusto;256932][quote=Allen said:
I KICK MEN'S ASSES AND I VOTE
Click to expand...
Second best Achewood bumper sticker.


Right after DON'T EAT IN YOUR CAR OR USE THE PHONE IT IS NOT A GOD-DAMNED PHONE RESTAURANT[/QUOTE]

:rofl: "phone restaurant"


#64

Gusto

Gusto

Classic.

Also, "Suckin' dick bought this van."


#65

Cajungal

Cajungal

:rofl: Man, I haven't read Achewood in ages. I think I'll use my shift to catch up... after doing the homework I should be doing right now. *grumble*


#66

Gusto

Gusto

OFFICIAL NOTICE THAT YOUR VAN IS FRIKKIN' AWESOME
WHERE DID YOU GET IT​


#67

fade

fade

I do like "Subvert the dominant paradigm". I like the hint of insidious, creeping thought-change it hints at, rather than "I'm gonna kick your ass". It's "I'm going to slowly and softly change the way you think about things, and you won't even know I was here."


#68

Rob King

Rob King

That reminds me of a book I've been meaning to read: A Subversive Orthodoxy, except the thrust of it is that Christian Humanism is essentially responsible for everything good in modern culture.


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