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Cruel & Unusual Punishment

#1

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy



I lasted 30 seconds (insert prom night joke here). How long can you manage before either going insane or shutting it off?


#2

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Can you survive 50 Shades of Grey?


“Trust me, Miss Steele,” he groaned wantonly like an aching, lonely lady of the night*, but manly as well because he is so manly and dominating and sultry. His voice was like liquid mercury and just as dangerous. It was titillating. “I’m very well practiced in the likes of vanilla coitus.”

*Emphasis mine.


#3

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Believe it or not, I read a passage of it aloud just tonight. It was a friend's birthday and they got a copy of it. They dared me to read part of it, and then further dared me to read it aloud.

The room was in tears in laughter at my over-the-top reading of it.


#4



makare

That circus thing cracks me up. Doesn't really irritate me at all. Well I am at 3 minutes... I don't know how long I could actually listen to it but honestly I have other things to listen to lol.

Shades of Grey though kind of makes me go what the holy hell? "Vanilla coitus" well there's a phrase that surely makes my lady area heavy with dew.


#5

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart

I have children. I listen to this kind of thing all the time. I have learned to tune it out. Ten minutes? Pfffft.


#6

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

WasabiPoptart said:
I have children. I listen to this kind of thing all the time. I have learned to tune it out. Ten minutes? Pfffft.
Click to expand...
Very well. You leave me no choice:



#7



makare

I am glad I saw this though because I've been singing it to myself for a while. I apparently missed the afro part in my singing. I will now fix that.


#8

WasabiPoptart

WasabiPoptart



#9

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

1:25


#10



SeraRelm

I work at a video game store.


#11

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Full ten minutes, done. In the end you can bear it out because you know it's only gonna last for that ten minutes. If I hadn't known how long it was, I probably would have quit earlier.

Now I just gotta figure out why Admiral Serkis pokes a dock...


#12

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Also, what is this 50 Shades of Grey you people are talking about?


#13

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

North_Ranger said:
Also, what is this 50 Shades of Grey you people are talking about?
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A terribly-written erotica published recently that's somehow become the new "thing women must read" now that Twilight's done. The author recently sold the movie rights for $5 million, which is insane.

On the one hand, it's refreshing that they're skipping all the mystical bullshit and getting straight to why these novels get purchased.

On the other hand, I wonder what it says about our society when books like Twilight are sopped up by the love-starved and 50 Shades of Grey by the sex-starved. It society placing too high of expectations or are people simply failing to find fulfilling relationships en mass?


#14

LittleSin

LittleSin

You forgot to mention that it's a repackaged Twilight fan fiction.

That will always amuse me.


#15

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

LittleSin said:
You forgot to mention that it's a repackaged Twilight fan fiction.

That will always amuse me.
Click to expand...
I honestly forgot about that. No wonder it's so badly written.

And now it makes perfect sense why Mr. Grey would groan "wantonly like an aching, lonely lady of the night" if he's actually supposed to be Edward.


#16

LittleSin

LittleSin

Quotemander Prime said:
I honestly forgot about that. No wonder it's so badly written.

And now it makes perfect sense why Mr. Grey would groan "wantonly like an aching, lonely lady of the night" if he's actually supposed to be Edward.
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My sister is reading the book. I think I'm going to borrow it off her and post up dates on how it is.


#17

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

LittleSin said:
My sister is reading the book. I think I'm going to borrow it off her and post up dates on how it is.
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I predict it will be bad.



#18

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

...

And suddenly I'm sickened by humanity.


#19

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

I need this 50 Shades of Grey. I'm always in the mood for a good laugh after the incident.


#20

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

LittleSin said:
My sister is reading the book. I think I'm going to borrow it off her and post up dates on how it is.
Click to expand...
Are you sure you want to do this?

“I have never done this before.” I whimpered rabidly like a sad goat who is about to have sex.
Click to expand...


#21

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Ok... are these real quotes from the book? Because goddamn.


#22



makare

Poe is getting turned ON.


#23

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Ravenpoe said:
Ok... are these real quotes from the book? Because goddamn.
Click to expand...
Yes.


#24



makare

I am still stuck on how the word mewl can be sexy. I mean if it is japanese porno maybe but even then it isn't the guy doing it...


#25

Cajungal

Cajungal

I must find this book and read it cover to cover! What a scream.


#26

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Quotemander Prime said:
Yes.
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This is why Ray Bradbury died.


#27

Gusto

Gusto

Ravenpoe said:
This is why Ray Bradbury died.
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Too soon.


#28

CynicismKills

CynicismKills

Ravenpoe said:
This is why Ray Bradbury died.
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Spinning over and over in his grave so quickly he could power a large city.


#29



makare

As he would want it.


#30

filmfanatic

filmfanatic

Ravenpoe said:
This is why Ray Bradbury died.
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I guess something wicked this way came.


#31

PatrThom

PatrThom

Gusto said:
Too soon.
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Yes, this is indeed why Ray Bradbury died too soon.

--Patrick


#32

HowDroll

HowDroll

Quotemander Prime said:
Are you sure you want to do this?

“I have never done this before.” I whimpered rabidly like a sad goat who is about to have sex.
Click to expand...
...

I'll be in my bunk.


#33

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

HowDroll said:
...

I'll be in my bunk.
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A blast from the past...



#34

Charlie Don't Surf

Charlie Don't Surf

I hope that once more and more countries abolish the death penalty, it will be banned in the United States since it's now "unusual" punishment. We're already one of the few countries that still does that.

Also, one time I watched Nyan Cat for 6 hours.


#35

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Charles, don't ever change. You're like a spicy vegetarian bacon cheeseburger on a hot winter's day.


#36

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

LtCol Jean V. Dubois, from Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers, has a viewpoint that I've always been rather partial to:

"I do not understand objections to `cruel and unusual' punishment. While a judge should be benevolent in purpose, his awards should cause the criminal to suffer, else there is no punishment -- and pain is the basic mechanism built into us by millions of years of evolution which safeguards us by warning when something threatens our survival. Why should society refuse to use such a highly perfected survival mechanism? However, that period was loaded with pre-scientific pseudo-psychological nonsense.

"As for `unusual,' punishment must be unusual or it serves no purpose.... Long enough. It means that such punishment is so unusual as to be significant, to deter, to instruct."


#37

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Are you really going to take the writings of a sci-fi author as examples of ethics and morality? You know what that leads to, right?


#38

Cheesy1

Cheesy1



#39

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

I... I want to offer a rebuttal... but I got nothing. I have shamed my house.


#40

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Officer_Charon said:
I... I want to offer a rebuttal... but I got nothing. I have shamed my house.
Click to expand...


#41



SeraRelm

I'd like to petition "oops elvis" as a rating...


#42



makare

Heinlein.


:Leyla:


#43

Officer_Charon

Officer_Charon

Problem?


#44



makare

Well yes but honestly it would probably create a bigger problem if I talk about it so let's talk about bunnies.


circus afro, circus afro, polka dot, polka dot afro!


#45



SeraRelm

Makare means to say "I agree entirely with the sentiment you've put forth. Bravo, good sir, bravo."


#46

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

I hate the Madagascar movies with the fiery passion of the sun. I've only seen the first, and that was torture enough. Dreamworks has demonstrated with Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2, and How to Train Your Dragon, that they are capable of so much more...


#47

HCGLNS

HCGLNS

YES! Your Highness is on the telly!

Split screening it with Game 6 baby!


#48

CynicismKills

CynicismKills

checkeredhat said:
I hate the Madagascar movies with the fiery passion of the sun. I've only seen the first, and that was torture enough. Dreamworks has demonstrated with Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2, and How to Train Your Dragon, that they are capable of so much more...
Click to expand...
I thought the first was funny, at least, even though the design style isn't my favorite. Second was meh. Panda and Dragon both blow them out of the water without a doubt. Never did see KFP2 though.


#49

strawman

strawman

makare said:
Heinlein.
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Gesundheit!


#50

checkeredhat

checkeredhat

HCGLNS said:
YES! Your Highness is on the telly!

Split screening it with Game 6 baby!
Click to expand...
I am watching game 6 online, and split screening it with Halforums.


#51

Covar

Covar

Charlie Don't Surf said:
I hope that once more and more countries abolish the death penalty, it will be banned in the United States since it's now "unusual" punishment. We're already one of the few countries that still does that.

Also, one time I watched Nyan Cat for 6 hours.
Click to expand...
Vintage Charlie!
Added at: 13:11
“I have never done this before.” I whimpered rabidly like a sad goat who is about to have sex.
Click to expand...
mbubkz.gif


#52

Allen who is Quiet

Allen who is Quiet

“I have never done this before.” I whimpered rabidly like a sad goat who is about to have sex.
Click to expand...


#53

strawman

strawman

Allen who is Quiet said:
Click to expand...
The way the pot flies off and crashes looks interestingly realistic. I wond if the animator actually filmed someone flipping a table with a potted plant just to get the physics right, like a boss...


#54

GasBandit

GasBandit

About 3 minutes before I started tasting blood.


#55

PatrThom

PatrThom

stienman said:
The way the pot flies off and crashes looks interestingly realistic. I wond if the animator actually filmed someone flipping a table with a potted plant just to get the physics right, like a boss...
Click to expand...
Aw, you didn't even mention the hair flare.
It doesn't look like it has been rotoscoped (the table doesn't rotate around its center of mass), but it definitely looks as though the animator pays attention to the details. Approve.

--Patrick


#56

Bubble181

Bubble181

The only annoying thing about the original video is the half-second "gap" between it restarts. It throws off the rhythm for me. Otherwise, I could listen to it for hours on end without going (even more) insane.


#57

North_Ranger

North_Ranger

I still want to know what's wrong with Admiral Serkis...


#58

fade

fade

checkeredhat said:
I hate the Madagascar movies with the fiery passion of the sun. I've only seen the first, and that was torture enough. Dreamworks has demonstrated with Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2, and How to Train Your Dragon, that they are capable of so much more...
Click to expand...
The KFP movies were good. I thought Dragon was boring. I really almost fell asleep. Madagascar was okay, but certainly not re-watchable. My kids convinced me to take them to 3 this weekend. It was bland with a side of snooze. Except the circus scene, which was really well done. Too bad it's only 5 minutes out of the movie.


#59



makare

I love Madagascar 2.

Mason: The plane will not be finished until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave.
Skipper: Maternity leave? You're all male!


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