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Dear forumites, this is totally not a scam

Dec 5, 2012#1

strawman

I am investing in the halforums stock game, and while it appears I'm not doing well right now, I like to play the long term market. I'm sure my stocks will do well over time.

However, many of you are not participating, and your halbucks sit there, lonesome, unused. Like Bilbo Baggins, they are comfortable - but there's an itch they can't quite reach, and that itch is adventure!

If you send your halbucks to me, I assure you they will receive the utmost care and attention, and, most of all, they will go on an adventure!

They will be better for the experience.

To the left, under my avatar, you can see "Money: HB xxx". Click on the HB, and transfer your halbucks to me. You've recently received at least 5,000 of them, so if you aren't sure how many you have, just transfer 5,000.

This isn't a ponzi scheme, an investment scheme, or a multi-level-marketing scam! I promise you will receive absolutely nothing back.

But I assure you that the brokenhearted halbucks sitting idly in your account will go on an adventure they will never forget, should you choose to donate them to the stienman fund.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

Dec 5, 2012#2

WasabiPoptart

Are you working for a US embassy or are a Nigerian prince?

Dec 5, 2012#3

Frank

Not surprisingly, I think instead of giving Steinman money, you give it all to me so I can personally buy enough pretend stock to become the pretend majority shareholder at THQ and I can pretend release the new games that we're all pretend stoked for that are in danger currently of not pretend being released.

Dec 5, 2012#4

strawman

WasabiPoptart said:
Are you working for a US embassy or are a Nigerian prince?

BOTH.

Dec 5, 2012#5

Ravenpoe

If you send your halbucks to me, you can at least know that you're giving them to a much cooler person.

Dec 5, 2012#6

PatrThom

The included Google ad on this page...

...is not reassuring me.

--Patrick

Dec 5, 2012#7

Chad Sexington

As self-appointed Fake Head of the Fake SEC, I have begun an investigation into stienman & sachs.

Dec 5, 2012#8

PatrThom

If he opened up the game to micropayments, Dave could potentially make a killing off just Stienman. The board would be paid for all of 2013 in only a few hours!

--Patrick

Dec 5, 2012#9

Dave

PatrThom said:
If he opened up the game to micropayments, Dave could potentially make a killing off just Stienman. The board would be paid for all of 2013 in only a few hours!

--Patrick

That's an idea! And then I give everyone 1M HB and watch the money pour in!

Dec 5, 2012#10

drifter

Dec 5, 2012#11

strawman

Just to re-iterate, your idle halbucks want to go on an adventure. Consider me their travel agent... TO ADVENTURE!

Dec 5, 2012#12

Frank

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiNhNArP3PA#t=10m9s

Aww, I forgot we can't embed with timestamps.

Dec 5, 2012#13

MindDetective

I, however, will prudently invest your halbucks. They will sit in my portfolio and do virtually nothing else. Are your halbucks lazy like you are? Then send them on over where they will sit idly, invested in some boring stock like Costco.

Dec 5, 2012#14

strawman

ADVENTURE. Do not deny them this!

Dec 5, 2012#15

Ravenpoe

You know what? I take back what I said. Give all your halbucks to Frank so he can buy more THQ

Dec 5, 2012#16

strawman

Allen who is Quiet - Thanks! Your contributed HB are well on their way to an ADVENTURE!

Dec 5, 2012#17

Frank

Allen who is Quiet

Your decision will be something you regret.

Dec 5, 2012#18

Allen who is Quiet

Dec 5, 2012#19

Hylian

You should give your halbucks to me so I can lose them super quick and end up broke

Dec 5, 2012#20

North_Ranger

If you give your Halbucks to me, I promise you they won't go into supporting self-aggrandizing fatcats who are ruining this economy.*

C'mon. You can trust this face.

*They will be going to a self-aggrandizing fatcat who is ruining this economy.

Dec 5, 2012#21

strawman

Dave Thanks! Your contributed halbucks are living it up, ADVENTURE STYLE!

Dec 5, 2012#22

Dave

stienman said:
Dave Thanks! Your contributed halbucks are living it up, ADVENTURE STYLE!

All 13 of them. Live it up, chum!

Dec 5, 2012#23

BErt

13 bucks still buys a nice chunk of THQ stock...

Dec 5, 2012#24

strawman

BErt said:
13 bucks still buys a nice chunk of THQ stock...

Thanks for the donation! I'm putting it all in THQ, per your excellent suggestion!

Dec 6, 2012#25

strawman

Thank you Lurker!

Dec 6, 2012#26

Wahad

stienman said:
Allen who is Quiet - Thanks! Your contributed HB are well on their way to an ADVENTURE!

Frank said:
Allen who is Quiet

Your decision will be something you regret.

This is starting to feel more and more like one of those Bioware RPG mutually opposed relationship influence things.

Dec 6, 2012#27

Allen who is Quiet

It's like I'm living in a lame version of Dragon Age.

Dec 6, 2012#28

Frank

You won't be getting the steamy clothed awkward sex scene from me!

Dec 6, 2012#29

Allen who is Quiet

That's just more proof of how I'm living in a lame version of Dragon Age.

Dec 6, 2012#30

Bowielee

I'm burying my halbucks in my back yard.

Dec 6, 2012#31

North_Ranger

Bowielee said:
I'm burying my halbucks in my back yard.

May I suggest you bury them in my pocket instead?

Dec 6, 2012#32

General Specific

stienman said:
I am investing in the halforums stock game, and while it appears I'm not doing well right now, I like to play the long term market. I'm sure my stocks will do well over time.

However, many of you are not participating, and your halbucks sit there, lonesome, unused. Like Bilbo Baggins, they are comfortable - but there's an itch they can't quite reach, and that itch is adventure!

If you send your halbucks to me, I assure you they will receive the utmost care and attention, and, most of all, they will go on an adventure!

They will be better for the experience.

To the left, under my avatar, you can see "Money: HB xxx". Click on the HB, and transfer your halbucks to me. You've recently received at least 5,000 of them, so if you aren't sure how many you have, just transfer 5,000.

This isn't a ponzi scheme, an investment scheme, or a multi-level-marketing scam! I promise you will receive absolutely nothing back.

But I assure you that the brokenhearted halbucks sitting idly in your account will go on an adventure they will never forget, should you choose to donate them to the stienman fund.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

Dec 6, 2012#33

strawman

ADVENTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Dec 6, 2012#34

North_Ranger

stienman said:
ADVENTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Oh, bugger off, Kevin O'Leary

Dec 6, 2012#35

Frank

Bowielee said:
I'm burying my halbucks in my back yard.

Only you can help pretend save THQ.

Dec 6, 2012#36

Gusto

I only trust Ham Sammich with my fake money.

Dec 7, 2012#37

Krisken

I am going to find the worst stock available and put all my Halbucks into it. Just to watch them burn.

Dec 7, 2012#38

Frank

Stealing my shtick.

Dec 7, 2012#39

PatrThom

Frank said:
Stealing my shtick.

You can take your shtick and shove it where the Sun don't shine.
Like into THQ.
Which you probably would.

--Patrick

Dec 7, 2012#40

Krisken

I just chose a company and put everything in it. I admit, I don't care what happens to it.

Dec 7, 2012#41

Frank

I'ma kill you dead with e-knives!

Dec 7, 2012#42

Krisken

Awww man, e-knives are the worst!

Dec 7, 2012#43

Vrii

So I googled "worst stocks to buy," picked a result, and then spent all of my halbucks on one of the results.

There's no way I won't win this.

Dec 7, 2012#44

North_Ranger

Gusto said:
I only trust Ham Sammich with my fake money.

I am MC Ham Sammich and I approve of this message.

Now give me all your money, bitches.

Dec 7, 2012#45

jwhouk

North_Ranger said:
May I suggest you bury them in my pocket instead?

But you don't have pockets!

Dec 7, 2012#46

strawman

jwhouk thanks! Your halbuck is currently earning me money on the Berlin stock exchange. As long as Samsung keeps beating apple over there, ADVENTUUUUUUUUUURE!!!

Dec 7, 2012#47

SpecialKO

I tried giving you negative HalBucks, but it didn't work! :cry:

Dec 7, 2012#48

North_Ranger

jwhouk said:
But you don't have pockets!

Fine, you can put your money in my chemo cap.[DOUBLEPOST=1354896616][/DOUBLEPOST]Also, Gusto ... Your investment has now been used to bring monies from Nokia. F*** Motorola.

Dec 7, 2012#49

SpecialKO

So who is officially our forum Bernie Madoff?

Dec 7, 2012#50

Dave

Not me, I'm the BEP. I can print all the money I want. Aw yeah!

Dec 7, 2012#51

Wahad

Dave said:
Not me, I'm the BEP. I can print all the money I want. Aw yeah!

Oh god, we'll be the next Zimbabwe/Weimar Republic.

Dec 7, 2012#52

Dave

That explains why most of my money is in KONE, right?

Dec 7, 2012#53

Allen who is Quiet

No. Stienman is the forum Kony. He's the one with all the child soldiers.

Dec 7, 2012#54

sixpackshaker

Dave said:
That explains why most of my money is in KONE, right?

What did Carl Weathers ever do to you?

Dec 7, 2012#55

Frank

Dec 7, 2012#56

sixpackshaker

Dec 10, 2012#57

Jax

I bought the maximum of one stock before I realized that was all I could buy... And it's not doing so well :S

Dec 10, 2012#58

HCGLNS

There used to be a board function for helping to relocate unwanted Halbucks, but Dave turned it off for some reason. If he were to turn it back on, I'm sure I could help you collect all those unwanted Halbucks stienman.

Dec 11, 2012#59

Gusto

Yo North_Ranger can I cash out.

Dec 11, 2012#60

North_Ranger

Sure, Gusto ... I will just need some documentation from you so I can process your request. Two valid IDs, birth certificate, fishing license, a full DNA scan, dental records and license to sell hair tonic to bald eagles in Omaha, Nebraska should cover it.

Dec 11, 2012#61

Gusto

North_Ranger said:
Sure, Gusto ... I will just need some documentation from you so I can process your request. Two valid IDs, birth certificate, fishing license, a full DNA scan, dental records and license to sell hair tonic to bald eagles in Omaha, Nebraska should cover it.

Fun fact: I've used a fishing license as a government-issue identification before.

Dec 12, 2012#62

Gusto

North_Ranger said:
Sure, Gusto ... I will just need some documentation from you so I can process your request. Two valid IDs, birth certificate, fishing license, a full DNA scan, dental records and license to sell hair tonic to bald eagles in Omaha, Nebraska should cover it.

Seriously gimme my damn money.

Dec 17, 2012#63

strawman

AAAAAADVEEEEEENTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Dec 17, 2012#64

Gusto

No one give North_Ranger any money, he'll totally never give it back.

Dec 18, 2012#65

North_Ranger

Gusto said:
No one give North_Ranger any money, he'll totally never give it back.

MC Ham Sammich resents that remark. MC Ham Sammich is totally legit. Has he made himself clear, or does MC Ham Sammich need to choke a bitch?

Dec 18, 2012#66

sixpackshaker

North_Ranger said:
...or does MC Ham Sammich need to choke a bitch?

Just like Mama Cass...

too soon?

Dec 18, 2012#67

North_Ranger

sixpackshaker said:
Just like Mama Cass...

too soon?

MC Ham Sammich don't know no Mama Cass. Just gimme your money, bitches.

Dec 18, 2012#68

sixpackshaker

North_Ranger said:
MC Ham Sammich don't know no Mama Cass. Just gimme your money, bitches.

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/mamacass.asp

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