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Demographics: Internet friends vs Real-life friends

Jul 12, 2013#1

strawman

Check all the answers that apply to you.

If you have friends which could be both internet friends vs real life friends based on how you met them or how much you interact with them in either sphere, consider them real life friends.

Yes, I know that it doesn't matter whether a friend is an internet friend or a real life friend. Petty distinctions, however, are all we've got to argue about around here anyway.

If you have a hard time deciding what "most" means to you, consider the following question: "If I had to give up either all my internet friends, or all my real life friends, which one would I give up?" Yes, that does factor in closeness, which may not mesh with quantity, but that's just how life goes sometimes, isn't it? So which of your friends are you willing to deep six if it means keep your other friends, huh?

Jul 12, 2013#2

blotsfan

I like you guys, but I would definitely choose my real life friends if forced to.

Edit: and I didn't check it but I would've clicked "I spend more free time with my internet friends than with my real life friends." Mostly as a function of computer time vs time when plans with friends are doable.

Jul 12, 2013#3

Ravenpoe

I make no distinction between friends that I live in close proximity to, and those I've met only through long distance communication. Some are liked more than others, but they are on both sides of the spectrum.

Jul 12, 2013#4

GasBandit

You guys aren't real, how could you possibly meet my friends?

Jul 12, 2013#5

Hailey Knight

All of my friends live far away from me now; how I met them is irrelevant. But I will say I'm closest to the people I met in college.

Jul 12, 2013#6

Frank

I'm very cold to internet folk. I'm pretty well incapable of making close friendships online. At best I have acquaintances.

Jul 12, 2013#7

North_Ranger

Frank said:
I'm very cold to internet folk. I'm pretty well incapable of making close friendships online. At best I have acquaintances.

I thought we had something special...

Jul 12, 2013#8

Chad Sexington

I'd hang out with any of you. None of you are my best friends.

Jul 12, 2013#9

Terrik

So, I can't tell---am I a friend of JCM's, or is he a friend of all of us? I'm having a hard time telling the alts apart.

Jul 12, 2013#10

Emrys

I love you all but I'm not real.

Jul 12, 2013#11

phil

Chad Sexington said:
I'd hang out with any of you. None of you are my best friends.

Jul 12, 2013#12

klew

Most are real life, pretty much all of them are high school friends, a couple from college. Former overseas co-workers are now occasional online friends. Last group are like you people, essentially internet pen pals.

Jul 13, 2013#13

fade

Jul 13, 2013#14

Neon Pirate

Most are real life, if you believe that I have a real life. I work way too much so I rarely get to see any of my friends, don't talk to but a few from high school or college and at this point would have to say that most of my friends are parents from my kids' various activities (especially soccer). Thanks to all of the time spent on a soccer field I do get to see those folks more regularly and they are some fantastic people! I need to rent a life, at least for a little while.

Jul 13, 2013#15

Bowielee

You guys are cool and all, but I pretty much just waste time here at work, in between classes, when I'm bored at home. That being said, I think one of the things I'd like to explore is how the younger generations who grew up on chatrooms are affected socially.

Jul 14, 2013#16

David

The majority of close friends I talk to on a regular basis are all friends I met physically at college. I'm friended with many of you on Facebook and Steam, but don't seem talk to most of you too often, although I would be welcoming to anybody who wanted to strike up a conversation with me and maybe hang out if you happened to live close by. If I'm wary of introducing a particular person to my primarily "real life" friends, chances are it's because that person is someone I've decided I don't mesh well with or don't particularly enjoy talking to myself.

Jul 15, 2013#17

sixpackshaker

I have some friends on the internet that I wouldn't want to introduce to my real life friends.

I'd like to reverse this option. I have some real life friends that act like internet Trolls in real life.

Jul 15, 2013#18

fade

Bowielee said:
You guys are cool and all, but I pretty much just waste time here at work, in between classes, when I'm bored at home.

Ditto. Mostly at work though.

Jul 15, 2013#19

Officer_Charon

Honestly, I'm better online than I am in real life, usually because I can take a few more seconds and come up with (occasional, rare) spurts of wit, rather than coming off as borderline autistic with a flat affect in real life (I'm not, I just forget how real people interact sometimes.)

Plus, you can lurk online without coming off as (that weird guy in the corner, breathing heavily).

Yeah, pants are overrated.

Jul 15, 2013#20

BananaHands

Considering the fact that I'm someone's alt, all of my friends are internet friends.

Jul 15, 2013#21

Azurephoenix

You guys are all pretty cool and there's a fair number of you that I wouldn't mind meeting in real life if the chance ever presented itself. I think some of you would make great real life friends too.

That said, my real life friends are much closer to me than I could ever be with internet friends.

Jul 15, 2013#22

tinabeebz

I feel like I connect with my real life friends on an awesome emotional/social level, but I share way more common interests with my internet friends.

Also, I was recently told that I'm overwhelmingly nice in person and kind of scary and "murdery" online. I wonder what that says about my internet friends? Hahaha.

Jul 15, 2013#23

sixpackshaker

At a party Saturday, two of my friends had an argument with a total Chaz vs. Charlie vibe. "That's misogynistic" must have been said about a dozen times. Or, "if you weren't so funny, I'd call the cops."

Jul 15, 2013#24

CrimsonSoul

There is no option for all of my friends are on the internet...

Jul 15, 2013#25

strawman

CrimsonSoul said:
There is no option for all of my friends are on the internet...

Don't worry, all my friends have internet access too.

Jul 15, 2013#26

CrimsonSoul

stienman said:
Don't worry, all my friends have internet access too.

Well I mean I had two friends one moved to Hawaii the other to San Antonio and everyone else is on halforums

Jul 16, 2013#27

PatrThom

I have more friends (A) in real life than I have (B) on the Internet (assuming that people who are A+B are tallied solely as A).
I probably correspond more with the friends I have on the Internet. This is because real-life friends are more demanding, overall.

--Patrick

Jul 16, 2013#28

Chad Sexington

PatrThom said:
(assuming that people who are A+B are tallied solely as A)

Just want you to know how much I appreciate this; I had the exact same thought when assessing my internet/"real-world" friends.

Jul 16, 2013#29

Jay

Frank said:
I'm very cold to internet folk. I'm pretty well incapable of making close friendships online. At best I have acquaintances.

I THOUGHT WE WERE BROS MAN

Dec 2, 2013#30

strawman

Bump because it's been on my mind again recently, and if I wanted to review what I thought about it in the past then it's likely others would too.

Dec 2, 2013#31

blotsfan

Yeah, I feel differently about this. I can't say I was that close with North Ranger, but it effected me a lot more than I expected.

Dec 2, 2013#32

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe said:
I make no distinction between friends that I live in close proximity to, and those I've met only through long distance communication. Some are liked more than others, but they are on both sides of the spectrum.

I stand by my statement.

Dec 2, 2013#33

WasabiPoptart

I'm having a hard time answering this. I did meet my best friend and my husband online though we quickly met in "real life" and the relationships moved from strictly online interactions. I have a lot of real life friends who I can only spend time with online now because we live so far from each other. Are they online friends because of that or are they real life friends since I met them originally in school, work, or through other people? I mean, you guys are online friends, but I have met Doc. He and I used to chat a lot on FB while he was deployed. Is he an online friend because we mostly interact online or real life friend since we met? How do you define that? Am I making this too hard?

Dec 2, 2013#34

Ravenpoe

I mentioned this in the NR thread, and I'll briefly summarize it here. "Real life" is a weird and frankly incorrect way to categorize things. Everything you do occurs in your real life, because you are present. Whether you talk to a person face to face, over the phone, through internet communication or mail letters to each other, you are still sharing ideas and being influenced. There is no 'fake life,' because everything you experience is experienced, regardless of the media.

Dec 2, 2013#35

Tinwhistler

I've been hanging out online since I was around 13. That was back in the day of 50bps modems.

Even back then, the line between "online" friends and "real life" friends was pretty blurred. Most of the "online" people I knew were local, because modems used phone lines, and long distance was expensive. We would meet up, hang out, people would hook up, break up, etc, just like any other friends you meet.

That's pretty much been the way of things for me ever since. I met one of my best friends on a dial-up chat board twenty years ago. He soon became a kung fu student and then a friend after that, and we're still friends to this day. We've caroused together, hung out at each others houses, helped each other move. I've visited his sick mother in the nursing home, and he once drove across town with no notice to help me move a car with a blown engine.

Friends are friends. Doesn't matter where you make them.

Dec 2, 2013#36

fade

Ravenpoe said:
I mentioned this in the NR thread, and I'll briefly summarize it here. "Real life" is a weird and frankly incorrect way to categorize things. Everything you do occurs in your real life, because you are present. Whether you talk to a person face to face, over the phone, through internet communication or mail letters to each other, you are still sharing ideas and being influenced. There is no 'fake life,' because everything you experience is experienced, regardless of the media.

I don't know if I agree completely with this. Might be true for some but I think there are quite a few people who do view their presence online as a role and completely fake.

Dec 2, 2013#37

Ravenpoe

fade said:
I don't know if I agree completely with this. Might be true for some but I think there are quite a few people who do view their presence online as a role and completely fake.

Doesn't matter. They could be an actor in a play, and the same would still hold true. They're still absorbing ideas. Still experiencing emotion, even it's to fill a role.

Dec 2, 2013#38

ThatNickGuy

I don't have much of a social life these days and for the last few years. This place has been one of the few places I get any kind of social discourse.

Dec 2, 2013#39

Cajungal

I wish I had more real-life friends. Truth is that, although I do love people, it exhausts me to be around them for too long. I get impatient and feel non-productive. I'd rather be home or at work.

I wish I were different sometimes. People say I'm nice, but that quality makes me feel cold and unkind. although it might have something to do with most of my friends being unshakeable, grandfathered-in shadows from my past with whom I have nothing in common.

I usually find it more interesting to pop in here than to go out for coffee and be talked at. Even though I don't contribute much, I still read every week.

Dec 2, 2013#40

Cheesy1

I hate large gatherings. I don't have a fear of them, but I just get uncomfortable around too many people. I'm more at ease around a small group of my close-knit friends. The problem is that all of my close friends have all gone away over the last few years. I don't make new friends easily, as I distrust most people in general. So you guys are really one of my last remaining group of people that I feel comfortable joking around with and being myself.

Dec 2, 2013#41

Zappit

I don't have very many real life friends. Due to a number of financial and health issues and obligations at home, I have very few social opportunities outside of work. So, for the most part, the relationships I cultivate with people online are the most real friendships I have. I honestly can't say I feel like I'm missing out. (My old nerd-herd slowly broke apart over the years, and were pretty dedicated hobbyists that might have eventually bankrupted me.) I'm comfortable with it that way.

Dec 2, 2013#42

strawman

Cajungal said:
although I do love people, it exhausts me to be around them for too long. I get impatient and feel non-productive. I'd rather be home or at work.

BRO-FIST.

I guess one of the reasons the forum works so well for me is that I can exert significantly more control over my social interactions here.

Dec 3, 2013#43

Ravenpoe

This. All of this.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-only-introverts-will-understand

Dec 3, 2013#44

PatrThom

Internet social friendship companions. They're like cookies.

No, really. When I get a taste for some Internet Social companionship, I come here, and (assuming I haven't been pounding the refresh button) it's like fresh-baked cookies, all tasty and waiting to be devoured. I want cookies, I come here, I get cookies, I eat the cookies, and I am satisfied.

If these were "real-life" (i.e., meatspace) friendship-type interactions, then I would have to suggest cookies to someone, get them all worked up about the cookies, get all the ingredients together, and possibly even have to invest (horrors!) some of my own effort into the process, all because I wanted cookies. By the time I finally get my cookies, they are no less delicious, but the experience is marred by all the arrangements and effort it took to make them, and I still have the pending clean-up staring me in the face even as I savor them.

But not here. Oh, no. I just issue an order to the machine on my desk, "Cookies. Chocolate-chip. Hot," and the monitor powers on to reveal fresh, hot cookies waiting to be devoured. I never have to bother anyone or make any mess. They appear on my terms, I eat them on my terms, and there is no mess to coordinate, neither pre- nor post-. There is no schedule nor limited availability, I can come any time of day or night, or I can even go for weeks and then binge on 5 solid hours of catching up on cookies.

I think that's the attraction, really. It's still a number of legitimate friendships, but they're friendships ON MY TERMS. When it's convenient, when I'm ready, when I can handle it, when I have a moment, when I want to lose myself for a few hours...I hardly have to worry about whether y'all are ready for me, or if I'm going to lose my cool, or whether I might accidentally put my foot in my mouth. The indirection/buffering/editable effect of the forum means that I never have to deal with more than I can take, I can hit the pause button, or if I so desire I can blow 150 minutes composing a compelling argument that is barely more than a dozen sentences long. I never have to deal with the minutiae, the logistics, or the mores, I just get my content, untainted by drudgery.

And I like it.

--Patrick

Dec 3, 2013#45

strawman

That's so much better than the tortured "Netflix friends" analogy I was trying to puzzle out.

Dec 3, 2013#46

Ravenpoe

stienman said:
That's so much better than the tortured "Netflix friends" analogy I was trying to puzzle out.

That's it, stienman... I'm no longer streaming.

Dec 3, 2013#47

Vrii

PatrThom said:
"Cookies. Chocolate-chip. Hot,"
--Patrick

I'm really glad I bought cookies today.

Dec 3, 2013#48

fade

Not to dissent, but I'm really not sure I consider you friends. I don't mean any offense by that, and it's not because you smell (except ravenpoe). It's because I don't really know you. Precisely because of the the netflix analogy. You get your cookies hot and now, and in return I get your tightly controlled projection of yourself. You could argue that you can do that in real life but not to the degree you can online. I guess you could say I can be friends with your persona, but that seems a little strange to me.

Dec 3, 2013#49

strawman

fade said:
I can be friends with your persona

That's no different in real life, though. I suspect that a large part of how much of the "real" person you see behind the mask is directly proportional to the amount of time you spend with them.

While it's easier to communicate face to face - more is communicated than just words - and social interactions are more personal in person, I would be surprised if the relationship level depended more on face to face vs distant interaction than it did on time. Are you going to have a stronger relationship with someone you interact with face to face for an hour every week, or a person you interact with over the internet, phone, or other distant communications method every day for an hour?[DOUBLEPOST=1386097152,1386097089][/DOUBLEPOST]With the big caveat that everyone is different, and some people simply won't connect if they don't see the other person face to face during their interactions. There may be some aspect of the introversion/extroversion dichotomy at work here as well.

Dec 3, 2013#50

Ravenpoe

fade said:
Not to dissent, but I'm really not sure I consider you friends. I don't mean any offense by that, and it's not because you smell (except ravenpoe). It's because I don't really know you. Precisely because of the the netflix analogy. You get your cookies hot and now, and in return I get your tightly controlled projection of yourself. You could argue that you can do that in real life but not to the degree you can online. I guess you could say I can be friends with your persona, but that seems a little strange to me.

Big surprise, fade doesn't like us. :troll:

Dec 3, 2013#51

strawman

INSIDE JOKE ALERT
:aaah:

Dec 3, 2013#52

Officer_Charon

One of the things I love about this board is that I don't HAVE to filter myself here. I don't HAVE to only show a sliver of who I am. Y'all get me, all the obnoxiousness and non-pc inherent therein.

Dec 3, 2013#53

Emrys

Officer_Charon said:
One of the things I love about this board is that I don't HAVE to filter myself here. I don't HAVE to only show a sliver of who I am. Y'all get me, all the obnoxiousness and non-pc inherent therein.

And there was much rejoicing, let me tell you.

Dec 3, 2013#54

drawn_inward

I'll be your persona friend Fade.

Dec 3, 2013#55

WasabiPoptart

fade said:
...it's not because you smell...

As a matter of fact I smell like artificial cookies and fake sunshine. Sort of like a Yankee Candle.

Dec 3, 2013#56

Cheesy1

Dec 3, 2013#57

ThatNickGuy

fade said:
I guess you could say I can be friends with your penis, but that seems a little strange to me.

You and me both, buddy! :Leyla:

Dec 3, 2013#58

WasabiPoptart

Cheesy1 said:
View attachment 13172

Since you're using Scarlett, then that whole yankee thing would be right out. So I must smell like a Confederate Candle! Or velvet drapes. Ugh. I think I should shower.

Dec 4, 2013#59

fade

stienman said:
That's no different in real life, though.

... if only I'd acknowledged that in my original post.

Still, real life doesn't have that deadly combo of anonymity, toneless text, and the almighty backspace key. I think those make it much easier to not only craft but to maintain a persona. Actually, I'm a 55 year old asian woman who lives in Mumbai.

Dec 4, 2013#60

DarkAudit

fade said:
... if only I'd acknowledged that in my original post.

Still, real life doesn't have that deadly combo of anonymity, toneless text, and the almighty backspace key. I think those make it much easier to not only craft but to maintain a persona. Actually, I'm a 55 year old asian woman who lives in Mumbai.

No you're not. You're JCM's alt.

...and so am I.

Dec 4, 2013#61

strawman

The twist at the end of this movie is that JCM is my alt, I created him to entertain me, and he chose to create all of you in order to fulfill my entertainment needs.

He has not disappointed.

Sorry that you're all merely a figment of my fractured mind, but, you know.

DANCE FOR ME.

Dec 4, 2013#62

DarkAudit

stienman said:
The twist at the end of this movie is that JCM is my alt, I created him to entertain me, and he chose to create all of you in order to fulfill my entertainment needs.

He has not disappointed.

Sorry that you're all merely a figment of my fractured mind, but, you know.

DANCE FOR ME.

Tommy?

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