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Do we even deserve a general mental health thread?
#1
Bubble181
Bubble181
I have a feeling quite a lot of us are dealing with depression/anxiety/fear/ADD/other mental health issues. They crop up regularly in the rant and whine threads, sometimes in the Fitness and Health thread,... I thought maybe it would be sensible to have a thread dedicated to this? It may make it easier for some to ignore posts that might trigger them when they're feeling vulnerable, or might make it easier to find something with an uplifting message or find posts from others suffering from similar issues, etc to try and pool 'm here a bit instead of having them all over the place.
I've personally been dealing on and off with depression for years, took antidepressants for a while back in...err.... 2010-2012 or so? After our wedding last year, I've sort of fallen back into a bit of a pit. We're not having children, so...between now and retirement I don't really have any big life events to look forward to anymore, no plans, no long term things to think about or anticipate. Sure, I hope I'll get to travel a bit (but while "big long holidays every year, seeing the whole world!" has been our plan, and we started out strong with Mexico and South Africa and New Zealand, this...just isn't happening. The last 6 years or so we haven't really gone anywhere exciting, always short nearby vacations just to relax because we don't have the money and/or energy to go on long adventurous vacations or COVID or whatever), but nothing "big". Buy a house, get a job, marry....And then what?
So as I've been slowly going through the motions, I just don't have any energy for anything outside of work. But since I work for a big soulless corporation, it's not like I'm getting a lot OUT of that, either. It just drains my energy and leaves me....A couch potato in the evenings. Social calls are either obligations or dinner parties with friends of my wife, sometimes trying to get together with my friends but.... While I usually enjoy these things once I'm there, they're exhausting and I spend days/weeks with building anxiety. My wife has to drag me to them, which is tiring and unfair to her as well. So we end up going less and less, which of course isn't doing either of us any favors either - she absolutely needs social interactions and get-togethers, they recharge her batteries. Me...I don't game anymore, I'm trying but I don't really read anymore and when I do it's out of a feeling of obligation towards myself more than out of desire, and mostly pulpy YA stuff at that. So, I've now got an appointment scheduled with a doctor at my usual practice (it's a group practice so I don"t really have one "fixed" doctor I go to for the regular stuff) to talk starting up antidepressants again. Which is, of course, giving me stress and anxiety like you wouldn't believe - my experience in the past hasn't been great. But I have to tell myself it's a step in the right direction.
And on another note, the past weekend has been....rough. Something I've never experienced before. Thursday evening and night was spent between nightmares and lying awake with continuous, unshakable feelings of dread and doom. Not just "scared" or anywhere near my normal depressed feelings of self-doubt, self-deprecation, worthlessness etc - really a feeling that at any time I'd get called up and I'd find out my mother was dead, or my wife, or something like that. Approaching doom is really the only way I can think of to describe it. All Friday I spent feeling like that, incredibly scared, crying my eyes out out of fear and terror, with pain all over my body, headaches and more. Friday night I took some anti-anxiety and muscle relaxant medication (we had from when my wife had a burnout two or three years ago) which helped me at least get some sleep, but I spent the whole night sweating and twisting and turning. Saturday I was still anxious and scared and incredibly sensitive to any kind of sensory input - couldn't bear light, sound, etc so my wife finally forced me to go to the doctor on duty who....Gave me some painkillers for the headache, something for my bowels (I had diarrhea as well, though that doesn't really matter for this thread) and sent me off home. Sunday was spent much the same. Monday I went to a doctor at my normal practice who prescribed some more anti-anxiety and pain killers, did some more tests and took blood and all that, wrote me off work for a few days, and sent me on my way again. We're now Wednesday, I'm still wearing sunglasses to watch TV, still can't bear any really loud noises but it's much, much better than it was, and while I still have some physical stress signals (quick shallow breathing, elevated heart rate) it isn't as bad as it was. Working from home tomorrow, I guess I'll be using sunglasses and turning down the brightness of my screens and hope for the best.
So, yeah, between "spiraling into depression" and "suddenly a new type of anxiety attack that rendered me physically incapable to do anything for 3 days", I'm doing not so great. Though, to be fair, I'm not at all feeling suicidal, which is where I was a few weeks ago - genuinely thinking maybe just driving my car against a bridge would be the easiest and best way out for everybody - so I guess that's some sort of progress.
How are you all holding up?
I've personally been dealing on and off with depression for years, took antidepressants for a while back in...err.... 2010-2012 or so? After our wedding last year, I've sort of fallen back into a bit of a pit. We're not having children, so...between now and retirement I don't really have any big life events to look forward to anymore, no plans, no long term things to think about or anticipate. Sure, I hope I'll get to travel a bit (but while "big long holidays every year, seeing the whole world!" has been our plan, and we started out strong with Mexico and South Africa and New Zealand, this...just isn't happening. The last 6 years or so we haven't really gone anywhere exciting, always short nearby vacations just to relax because we don't have the money and/or energy to go on long adventurous vacations or COVID or whatever), but nothing "big". Buy a house, get a job, marry....And then what?
So as I've been slowly going through the motions, I just don't have any energy for anything outside of work. But since I work for a big soulless corporation, it's not like I'm getting a lot OUT of that, either. It just drains my energy and leaves me....A couch potato in the evenings. Social calls are either obligations or dinner parties with friends of my wife, sometimes trying to get together with my friends but.... While I usually enjoy these things once I'm there, they're exhausting and I spend days/weeks with building anxiety. My wife has to drag me to them, which is tiring and unfair to her as well. So we end up going less and less, which of course isn't doing either of us any favors either - she absolutely needs social interactions and get-togethers, they recharge her batteries. Me...I don't game anymore, I'm trying but I don't really read anymore and when I do it's out of a feeling of obligation towards myself more than out of desire, and mostly pulpy YA stuff at that. So, I've now got an appointment scheduled with a doctor at my usual practice (it's a group practice so I don"t really have one "fixed" doctor I go to for the regular stuff) to talk starting up antidepressants again. Which is, of course, giving me stress and anxiety like you wouldn't believe - my experience in the past hasn't been great. But I have to tell myself it's a step in the right direction.
And on another note, the past weekend has been....rough. Something I've never experienced before. Thursday evening and night was spent between nightmares and lying awake with continuous, unshakable feelings of dread and doom. Not just "scared" or anywhere near my normal depressed feelings of self-doubt, self-deprecation, worthlessness etc - really a feeling that at any time I'd get called up and I'd find out my mother was dead, or my wife, or something like that. Approaching doom is really the only way I can think of to describe it. All Friday I spent feeling like that, incredibly scared, crying my eyes out out of fear and terror, with pain all over my body, headaches and more. Friday night I took some anti-anxiety and muscle relaxant medication (we had from when my wife had a burnout two or three years ago) which helped me at least get some sleep, but I spent the whole night sweating and twisting and turning. Saturday I was still anxious and scared and incredibly sensitive to any kind of sensory input - couldn't bear light, sound, etc so my wife finally forced me to go to the doctor on duty who....Gave me some painkillers for the headache, something for my bowels (I had diarrhea as well, though that doesn't really matter for this thread) and sent me off home. Sunday was spent much the same. Monday I went to a doctor at my normal practice who prescribed some more anti-anxiety and pain killers, did some more tests and took blood and all that, wrote me off work for a few days, and sent me on my way again. We're now Wednesday, I'm still wearing sunglasses to watch TV, still can't bear any really loud noises but it's much, much better than it was, and while I still have some physical stress signals (quick shallow breathing, elevated heart rate) it isn't as bad as it was. Working from home tomorrow, I guess I'll be using sunglasses and turning down the brightness of my screens and hope for the best.
So, yeah, between "spiraling into depression" and "suddenly a new type of anxiety attack that rendered me physically incapable to do anything for 3 days", I'm doing not so great. Though, to be fair, I'm not at all feeling suicidal, which is where I was a few weeks ago - genuinely thinking maybe just driving my car against a bridge would be the easiest and best way out for everybody - so I guess that's some sort of progress.
How are you all holding up?
#2
GasBandit
GasBandit
I think a lot of us are having a hard time.
Let me put it this way... the more actively I'm shitposting after 5, the worse things are getting.
Let me put it this way... the more actively I'm shitposting after 5, the worse things are getting.
#3
PatrThom
PatrThom
I keep meaning to start an ADHD thread, but I keep getting distracted.
...this is not a joke. I am being 100% serious.
Depression wasn't a concern of mine until relatively recently, so I don't know how useful I would be for solutions, though I am more than willing to have conversations about it, considering how often I run into it with the people around me in life. Plus there's the increasingly real possibility that I might find any information useful in my own life as time moves on.
--Patrick
...this is not a joke. I am being 100% serious.
Depression wasn't a concern of mine until relatively recently, so I don't know how useful I would be for solutions, though I am more than willing to have conversations about it, considering how often I run into it with the people around me in life. Plus there's the increasingly real possibility that I might find any information useful in my own life as time moves on.
--Patrick
#4
drawn_inward
drawn_inward
I have never sought help but I know I could do with some therapy. Self diagnosing here, but I have a miasma of doom/ADHD/depression/anxiety/anger. It ebbs and flows. It can come out if nowhere or be triggered by me screwing something up. I know I have some level of PTSD as well from a car accident.
That said. I operate fairly even keeled. I push a lot down. Hold a lot in.
Exercise and taking care of myself helps a lot. Eating healthy helps a bunch. Keeping things tidy helps. Procrastinating makes things bad.
Doing physical labor helps too. I guess because my mind can't dwell.
That said. I operate fairly even keeled. I push a lot down. Hold a lot in.
Exercise and taking care of myself helps a lot. Eating healthy helps a bunch. Keeping things tidy helps. Procrastinating makes things bad.
Doing physical labor helps too. I guess because my mind can't dwell.
#5
grub
grub
I have had low grade depression for longer than I didn't, no joke I'm 42 and have been depressed since I was 14-15. Not enough to need meds, but enough to need help. Unfortunately growing up the only solution was to either pretend that everything was great, or to pray and then proceed to pretend that everything was great.
I finally sought help 4.5 years ago and it's been good, like actually good. I have more tools now to pickup depressive thoughts and deal with them before they take over. Still no meds except melatonin for sleep. I find that lack of sleep makes things worse. I have tried (with direction from Doctors) trazodone and zopiclone and neither helped.
This is probably my longest post here, not sure I can help anyone as most of my energy is towards helping myself; but, anywhere that we can support each other is not a bad thing.
So long as the posts shared here don't get used to attack or demean.
I finally sought help 4.5 years ago and it's been good, like actually good. I have more tools now to pickup depressive thoughts and deal with them before they take over. Still no meds except melatonin for sleep. I find that lack of sleep makes things worse. I have tried (with direction from Doctors) trazodone and zopiclone and neither helped.
This is probably my longest post here, not sure I can help anyone as most of my energy is towards helping myself; but, anywhere that we can support each other is not a bad thing.
So long as the posts shared here don't get used to attack or demean.
#6
drawn_inward
drawn_inward
I brofisted this so hard you should have felt it.Unfortunately growing up the only solution was to either pretend that everything was great, or to pray and then proceed to pretend that everything was great.
#7
Dirona
Dirona
Oddly enough, given I'm about to be out of work again very soon, pretty good. I haven't had a manic episode is 6+ months, and the depression is pretty mild at the moment (ie my brain isn't actively trying to kill me). So the bipolar bits are well managed I would say.
The anxiety on the other hand, is not so well managed. I realized about 8 months or so ago that I've had regular physical symptoms of anxiety since I was under 10 years old, which is just fucking absurd, and I am livid that no one thought to ask or notice until I was in my late 30's. That aside, I think because I'm about to have too much time on my hands I'm starting to really worry about that and everything, which is never a good slope to get on. I'm not sure how to remove myself from it either, so we'll just ride it out as per usual.
The weather is getting better, albeit too damn slowly for my liking, so my PTSD around driving in certain conditions is less likely to be an issue on a regular basis. Which is nice.
The anxiety on the other hand, is not so well managed. I realized about 8 months or so ago that I've had regular physical symptoms of anxiety since I was under 10 years old, which is just fucking absurd, and I am livid that no one thought to ask or notice until I was in my late 30's. That aside, I think because I'm about to have too much time on my hands I'm starting to really worry about that and everything, which is never a good slope to get on. I'm not sure how to remove myself from it either, so we'll just ride it out as per usual.
The weather is getting better, albeit too damn slowly for my liking, so my PTSD around driving in certain conditions is less likely to be an issue on a regular basis. Which is nice.
#8
Ravenpoe
Ravenpoe
So I don't want to gloat, but I'm in a fairly good place. Do I still suffer from depression, anxiety, and general feelings of doom about the world? Sure, but I've also managed to separate myself from those feelings and view them as symptoms of a disease, which has allowed me to approach them much more mindfully and handle them in a way that doesn't reduce my overall well being.
Well, except the doom. I'm pretty sure that's real and the world is fucked but luckily my nihilism is able to offset that.
But I wish I could explain this viewpoint better to others. When I start experiencing the symptoms of depression, I'm easily able to recognize them as symptoms, false thoughts. I had posted here once how amazing I found the experience going on SSRIs, and while I no longer take medication, it did allow me to recognize what sensations were caused by the disease rather than me.
And that is how I view it and how I can easily move past it, sort of a compartmentalization. I don't have to worry about that sensation because I know it's not true.
Well, except the doom. I'm pretty sure that's real and the world is fucked but luckily my nihilism is able to offset that.
But I wish I could explain this viewpoint better to others. When I start experiencing the symptoms of depression, I'm easily able to recognize them as symptoms, false thoughts. I had posted here once how amazing I found the experience going on SSRIs, and while I no longer take medication, it did allow me to recognize what sensations were caused by the disease rather than me.
And that is how I view it and how I can easily move past it, sort of a compartmentalization. I don't have to worry about that sensation because I know it's not true.
#9
Bubble181
Yeah, I'm off work again. All apps in dark mode (and those that don't have one, forced into inverted mode), screen brightness down, sunglasses, low background light (but not entirely dark of course), painkillers, 2 hours, had to go lie down for 20 minutes, came back , less than 2 hours, and again - head pounding, vision blurring, etc. And I was still going back for more had my GP not called me for follow up, heard me and said "nope, you're done for the week, go back to bed". I'm not a masochist, but I sure do like to punish myself.
Bubble181
Guess whose body decided that today was not the day?We're now Wednesday, I'm still wearing sunglasses to watch TV, still can't bear any really loud noises but it's much, much better than it was, and while I still have some physical stress signals (quick shallow breathing, elevated heart rate) it isn't as bad as it was. Working from home tomorrow, I guess I'll be using sunglasses and turning down the brightness of my screens and hope for the best.
Yeah, I'm off work again. All apps in dark mode (and those that don't have one, forced into inverted mode), screen brightness down, sunglasses, low background light (but not entirely dark of course), painkillers, 2 hours, had to go lie down for 20 minutes, came back , less than 2 hours, and again - head pounding, vision blurring, etc. And I was still going back for more had my GP not called me for follow up, heard me and said "nope, you're done for the week, go back to bed". I'm not a masochist, but I sure do like to punish myself.
#10
Tinwhistler
Tinwhistler
queue incoming "suggested helpful URL" in 3...2...1...
#11
Bubble181
Bubble181
I assumed so and I was going to rate him sus as well but... I can't find a link or anything anywherequeue incoming "suggested helpful URL" in 3...2...1...
#12
Tinwhistler
Tinwhistler
Oh, spammers are slightly more devious these days. They try to make their spam look more organic. My post was surmising that "oh, by the way I found this <link>that helped me a lot!" is/was coming soon--perhaps from a totally different account to make the spam look like a conversation. Mental health and health in general are juicy topics for spammers. There's lots of scam money to be made there. The fact that the user joined, found a year old health thread, and posted all within the same minute while ignoring everything else on the board added to my suspicion.I assumed so and I was going to rate him sus as well but... I can't find a link or anything anywhere
#13
Bubble181
Bubble181
True, and I didn't notice the time 'cause that probably means you're right.
But otoh you never know if we're scaring away a real new person!
But otoh you never know if we're scaring away a real new person!
#14
bhamv3
bhamv3
Well, it took two weeks, but Tin's prediction was spot-on.
#15
Vrii
Vrii
Ooh, the slow burn spammer.
#16
Dave
Dave
This is why we can't have nice things.
#17
Bubble181
Here I was thinking it's because we're just undeserving burdens on society. We'll, that's solved my mental issues! Thanks for clearing that up!
Bubble181
Ohhhh, so this is why.This is why we can't have nice things.
Here I was thinking it's because we're just undeserving burdens on society. We'll, that's solved my mental issues! Thanks for clearing that up!
#18
T
trudyy01
T
trudyy01
It's incredibly brave to open up about such deeply personal struggles, and it's a step in the right direction towards finding support and healing. Your idea of having a dedicated thread for mental health issues is excellent.I have a feeling quite a lot of us are dealing with depression/anxiety/fear/ADD/other mental health issues. They crop up regularly in the rant and whine threads, sometimes in the Fitness and Health thread,... I thought maybe it would be sensible to have a thread dedicated to this? It may make it easier for some to ignore posts that might trigger them when they're feeling vulnerable, or might make it easier to find something with an uplifting message or find posts from others suffering from similar issues, etc to try and pool 'm here a bit instead of having them all over the place.
I've personally been dealing on and off with depression for years, took antidepressants for a while back in...err.... 2010-2012 or so? After our wedding last year, I've sort of fallen back into a bit of a pit. We're not having children, so...between now and retirement I don't really have any big life events to look forward to anymore, no plans, no long term things to think about or anticipate. Sure, I hope I'll get to travel a bit (but while "big long holidays every year, seeing the whole world!" has been our plan, and we started out strong with Mexico and South Africa and New Zealand, this...just isn't happening. The last 6 years or so we haven't really gone anywhere exciting, always short nearby vacations just to relax because we don't have the money and/or energy to go on long adventurous vacations or COVID or whatever), but nothing "big". Buy a house, get a job, marry....And then what?
So as I've been slowly going through the motions, I just don't have any energy for anything outside of work. But since I work for a big soulless corporation, it's not like I'm getting a lot OUT of that, either. It just drains my energy and leaves me....A couch potato in the evenings. Social calls are either obligations or dinner parties with friends of my wife, sometimes trying to get together with my friends but.... While I usually enjoy these things once I'm there, they're exhausting and I spend days/weeks with building anxiety. My wife has to drag me to them, which is tiring and unfair to her as well. So we end up going less and less, which of course isn't doing either of us any favors either - she absolutely needs social interactions and get-togethers, they recharge her batteries. Me...I don't game anymore, I'm trying but I don't really read anymore and when I do it's out of a feeling of obligation towards myself more than out of desire, and mostly pulpy YA stuff at that. So, I've now got an appointment scheduled with a doctor at my usual practice (it's a group practice so I don"t really have one "fixed" doctor I go to for the regular stuff) to talk starting up antidepressants again. Which is, of course, giving me stress and anxiety like you wouldn't believe - my experience in the past hasn't been great. But I have to tell myself it's a step in the right direction.
And on another note, the past weekend has been....rough. Something I've never experienced before. Thursday evening and night was spent between nightmares and lying awake with continuous, unshakable feelings of dread and doom. Not just "scared" or anywhere near my normal depressed feelings of self-doubt, self-deprecation, worthlessness etc - really a feeling that at any time I'd get called up and I'd find out my mother was dead, or my wife, or something like that. Approaching doom is really the only way I can think of to describe it. All Friday I spent feeling like that, incredibly scared, crying my eyes out out of fear and terror, with pain all over my body, headaches and more. Friday night I took some anti-anxiety and muscle relaxant medication (we had from when my wife had a burnout two or three years ago) which helped me at least get some sleep, but I spent the whole night sweating and twisting and turning. Saturday I was still anxious and scared and incredibly sensitive to any kind of sensory input - couldn't bear light, sound, etc so my wife finally forced me to go to the doctor on duty who....Gave me some painkillers for the headache, something for my bowels (I had diarrhea as well, though that doesn't really matter for this thread) and sent me off home. Sunday was spent much the same. Monday I went to a doctor at my normal practice who prescribed some more anti-anxiety and pain killers, did some more tests and took blood and all that, wrote me off work for a few days, and sent me on my way again. We're now Wednesday, I'm still wearing sunglasses to watch TV, still can't bear any really loud noises but it's much, much better than it was, and while I still have some physical stress signals (quick shallow breathing, elevated heart rate) it isn't as bad as it was. Working from home tomorrow, I guess I'll be using sunglasses and turning down the brightness of my screens and hope for the best.
So, yeah, between "spiraling into depression" and "suddenly a new type of anxiety attack that rendered me physically incapable to do anything for 3 days", I'm doing not so great. Though, to be fair, I'm not at all feeling suicidal, which is where I was a few weeks ago - genuinely thinking maybe just driving my car against a bridge would be the easiest and best way out for everybody - so I guess that's some sort of progress.
How are you all holding up?
#19
W
WazowPlait
W
WazowPlait
Totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety myself, so I get how tough it can be when things feel like they’re spiraling. Having a dedicated thread for mental health issues sounds like a great idea—it could really help to have a space where we can all share and support each other without it getting lost in other discussions.
I've been in a similar boat, feeling stuck and exhausted. For me, therapy and medication have been lifesavers at times. It’s rough when life seems to lose its sparkle and even social stuff becomes a chore, but reaching out for help is a big step. I’ve been there, and while it doesn’t fix everything overnight, it does make a difference.
I've been in a similar boat, feeling stuck and exhausted. For me, therapy and medication have been lifesavers at times. It’s rough when life seems to lose its sparkle and even social stuff becomes a chore, but reaching out for help is a big step. I’ve been there, and while it doesn’t fix everything overnight, it does make a difference.
#20
Ravenpoe
Anyway, it's just a fun little hobby of mine. Do with that as you will.
Ravenpoe
What I find really helpful is taking up hobbies, like learning the sentence structure of generated ai chatbots. Because generative AI is trained on bulk text, most of it in longform paragraph structure, you'll notice that even short pieces written by a chatbot will be structured like an entry level college paper. They usually start off with a direct statement, like "I know how you feel," "That's really interesting," "I totally get it," etc, and will then branch into related topics, usually while including odd punctuation like using en dashes—something rarely seen in non-generative ai (except for when I do it like this as an example.)Totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety myself, so I get how tough it can be when things feel like they’re spiraling. Having a dedicated thread for mental health issues sounds like a great idea—it could really help to have a space where we can all share and support each other without it getting lost in other discussions.
I've been in a similar boat, feeling stuck and exhausted. For me, therapy and medication have been lifesavers at times. It’s rough when life seems to lose its sparkle and even social stuff becomes a chore, but reaching out for help is a big step. I’ve been there, and while it doesn’t fix everything overnight, it does make a difference.
Anyway, it's just a fun little hobby of mine. Do with that as you will.
#21
Vrii
Vrii
I would swear we've had another bot responding to this specific thread with at least partially identical wording to that post. That "Having a dedicated thread for mental health issues sounds like a great idea—it could really help to have a space where we can all share and support each other without it getting lost in other discussions." bit is seeming very familiar.
#22
drawn_inward
drawn_inward
If we feed AI enough of our stories, we could give AI its own Achilles heal of self doubt and despair.
#23
PatrThom
PatrThom
We could invent Marvin?
--Patrick
--Patrick
#24
Celt Z
Celt Z
Any AI we feed is going to have a minotaur penis fetish.
#25
Dave
Dave
#26
drawn_inward
drawn_inward
And hirsute meat products.Any AI we feed is going to have a minotaur penis fetish.
#27
Cheesy1
Cheesy1
How do you learn to like yourself?
Apparently, even though I am "the greatest guy ever", I smothered my ex and was too codependent. I "love-bombed" her.
Or maybe I'm just confused to what love is, and what I think it should be is considered smothering to everyone else.
But I'm tired of driving people away.
Apparently, even though I am "the greatest guy ever", I smothered my ex and was too codependent. I "love-bombed" her.
Or maybe I'm just confused to what love is, and what I think it should be is considered smothering to everyone else.
But I'm tired of driving people away.
#28
Frank
Feels like whenever I'm close to having it figured out, something new happens. Especially this year with my dad dying, the billionaires winning the world, my arm being confirmed as forever fucked. There's always something that shoves me right back into the bad place.
Frank
Working on that part too.How do you learn to like yourself?
Feels like whenever I'm close to having it figured out, something new happens. Especially this year with my dad dying, the billionaires winning the world, my arm being confirmed as forever fucked. There's always something that shoves me right back into the bad place.
#29
Bubble181
Bubble181