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http://deadspin.com/5424415/sitters-vs-standers--the-great-wipe-hope

Pick your side. There can only be one.

I sit. Bigtime leaning forward.

And that article is hilarious!!

I don't even understand how you can sit when you wipe.

I sit, but tilt to the side on one butt cheek. We need to include tilting options for the sitters.

I like how each side generally has no clue the other exists. I know I was confused as FUCK when I saw someone sitting in a movie or TV show while they wiped

If you stand your ass cheeks close and you can't get all the yucky stuff out.

You standers are weird and probably have HUGE poop streaks in your underwear.

Shakey said:

I sit, but tilt to the side on one butt cheek. We need to include tilting options for the sitters.

Click to expand...

This. I tilt. I can't imagine standing up to wipe.

I have no Earthly idea how one can wipe while standing.

You guys STAND!?



When you've stand you've officially left the arena of battle!

DISQUALIFIED

Yeah, standing? What the fucking fuck?

Sub question, who looks to see how big it is?

Wtf you people, I jump.

Shakey said:

Sub question, who looks to see how big it is?

Click to expand...

Everyone. Those who don't are lying.

Do you sometimes think, "Wow! This has to be some sort of record!" or "Jesus Christ! ALL of that came out of ME?!?"

You know what I've never had? Skidmarks. Why is that? Because wiping while sitting doesn't give you God damn skidmarks. Standing....fuuuuck.

Dave;315523][quote=Shakey said:

Sub question, who looks to see how big it is?

Click to expand...

Everyone. Those who don't are lying.

Do you sometimes think, "Wow! This has to be some sort of record!" or "Jesus Christ! ALL of that came out of ME?!?"[/QUOTE]

Those usually hurt so bad I don't want to know. I just want to go lay down for a while and forget the whole ordeal.

Dave said:

Do you sometimes think, "Wow! This has to be some sort of record!" or "Jesus Christ! ALL of that came out of ME?!?"

Click to expand...

I knew that wouldn't take long. You people never disappoint.

I stand and don't have skidmarks. Not since I was really young. How do you look back if you wipe while sitting?

What's that have to do with anything Gusto? :wacko:

Not much, just that there are a lot of poop-related SP screencaps.

Gusto said:

Not much, just that there are a lot of poop-related SP screencaps.

Click to expand...

For example, the ones from the WoW episode. Please do post those ones

someone wiser than I said:

I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it "The Washington", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.

Click to expand...

.

Gusto said:

Not much, just that there are a lot of poop-related SP screencaps.

Click to expand...

If you haven't seen that episode, it looks more like he's sucking Token's ding-a-ling than it does he's pooping from his mouth.

Anyway, I just cannot fathom wiping sitting down. Like, I'm trying to figure out the logistics of it and it just seems like potential for a mess.

Never had any skidmarks/coverage problems with standing.

If I can figure it out I'll give sitting a shot next time.

Wipe-Sitter here.

As to telling when you're done? Wtf? Just turn your head and look down. Not that hard. I always thought standers were fat people that can't lift their butt cheek without breaking a sweat.

Denbrought said:

Wtf you people, I jump.

Click to expand...

Gross yet hilarious image.

Charlie Dont Surf said:

someone wiser than I said:

I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it "The Washington", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.

Click to expand...

.

Click to expand...

Holy hell? Is everyone taking crazy pills?!??! Although I must admit, I'm one of those people that was taken aback when I found out that in most regions of the world people squat and use their bare hands to wipe their asses.

So do squatters count as sitters or standers?

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

bidet ftw

http://www.charmin.com/en_US/wet-wipes-freshmates.php

My ass is cleaner than all you dry toilet paper users!

This is actually the second forum I'm a regular on to have this exact discussion.

Sitter, because standers' underwear must look like they broadsided a fudge tanker.

...and agreed on the adult wet wipes. They changed my fucking life, man.

Frankie said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.

Armadillo said:

This is actually the second forum I'm a regular on to have this exact discussion.

Sitter, because standers' underwear must look like they broadsided a fudge tanker.

...and agreed on the adult wet wipes. They changed my fucking life, man.

Click to expand...

High five my clean assholed brotha!

---------- Post added at 10:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 AM ----------

doomdragon6;315555][quote=Frankie said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.[/QUOTE]

My Italian friend thinks we're disgusting for not using bidets.

Of course, I think she's disgusting because she rarely showers. Different cultures clean their torpedo tubes differently.

Frankie said:

http://www.charmin.com/en_US/wet-wipes-freshmates.php

My ass is cleaner than all you dry toilet paper users!

Click to expand...

What the fuck? Are you 80 years old with hemorrhoids?

Nope, I felt the same way you do now until I tried it. Never looked back.

Frankie said:

Nope, I felt the same way you do now until I tried it. Never looked back.

Click to expand...

Okay don't get me wrong, for the last 'wipe', they'd certainly be nice. The only problem I see is taking a shit at work/bus station/ traveling etc... Your ass gets used to the nice moist tissue at the end of the wipe. You'd feel dirty without it. I'm not packing wet wipes in a diaper bag for myself!

Dave said:

You people never disappoint.

Click to expand...

Don't make me come up with examples where this is wrong!

How the hell do people stand and then wipe? What if you have a hanger? That left over hunk of crap would.... ugh, I've said way too much.

I refuse to use the bathroom in any situation if I don't have "wipes" available. I just.... no.... just no.

Chazwozel;315563][quote=Frankie said:

Nope, I felt the same way you do now until I tried it. Never looked back.

Click to expand...

Okay don't get me wrong, for the last 'wipe', they'd certainly be nice. The only problem I see is taking a shit at work/bus station/ traveling etc... Your ass gets used to the nice moist tissue at the end of the wipe. You'd feel dirty without it. I'm not packing wet wipes in a diaper bag for myself! [/QUOTE]

No, you're very right about that last part. I don't carry them with me, I just can't wait to get home and do it properly.

doomdragon6;315555][quote=Frankie said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.[/QUOTE]

What the hell do you eat that all your shits are melty chocolate consistency? If I'm healthy and 100%, I take about 4-5 shits a day which are 2-3 wipers at the most.

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

Shegokigo said:

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

Click to expand...

So's my wife. I think women in general shit a whole lot less then men do. It used to be like 2x a day for me until my doctors jacked up my thyroid a couple months ago. My metabolism is so much faster now that I dropped like 18 lbs and eat like a horse.

As I said before, I'm a stander with immaculate underwear afterwards. It's not rocket science!

Also whoever tagged the thread "when can I shit that", bravo.

Chazwozel;315568][quote=doomdragon6;315555][quote=Frankie said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.[/QUOTE]

What the hell do you eat that all your shits are melty chocolate consistency? If I'm healthy and 100%, I take about 4-5 shits a day which are 2-3 wipers at the most.[/QUOTE]

4-5 times a day? Your balloon knot must be chafed to hell! You know what would help that? Wet wipes.

Armadillo;315574][quote=Chazwozel;315568][quote=doomdragon6;315555][quote=Frankie said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.[/quote]

What the hell do you eat that all your shits are melty chocolate consistency? If I'm healthy and 100%, I take about 4-5 shits a day which are 2-3 wipers at the most.[/quote]

4-5 times a day? Your balloon knot must be chafed to hell! You know what would help that? Wet wipes. [/QUOTE]


Nah, I'm good. Like I said most are 2-3 wipes and good to go. The secret is not to pinch the loaf too early, grasshopper.

I... I really didn't even know this was a thing. Sit. I can't wrap my brain around standing to do it. And I'm not willing to try.

Fuck all y'all.

Where are my fellow carpet scooters at?

People stand regularly? By choice?!

The only time I ever stood was after a particularly long one in a work toilet that was so shallow...well, let's just say it required coercion, and a promise to myself to never again use the handicapped stall even if the other one was in use.

BALLOON KNOT?!?

You've never heard that one?

Chazwozel;315568][quote=doomdragon6;315555][quote=Frankie said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.[/quote]

What the hell do you eat that all your shits are melty chocolate consistency? If I'm healthy and 100%, I take about 4-5 shits a day which are 2-3 wipers at the most.[/QUOTE]

4-5 times a day?? Fuck, dude!

I'm like once every two days at most.

NEITHER... because i don't sit on the toilet, i stand on my feet and crouch, like nature intended...

Shegokigo said:

I refuse to use the bathroom in any situation if I don't have "wipes" available. I just.... no.... just no.

Click to expand...

Preach it sister... one day the heretics will be made to see the light or be flushed away by the fury of the Great Wipe Maker in the sky...

doomdragon6;315599][quote=Chazwozel;315568][quote=doomdragon6;315555][quote=Frankie said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

While I don't use these I'd have to agree that they'd be the best for cleanups.

Water is nature's solvent for a reason, people.

Imagine you dropped a sticky, melty chocolate bar on the floor. You grab a dry paper towel and wipe-- all it does it smear everywhere. Do you keep wiping with the dry towel? No, YOU GET A DAMN WET ONE.

I feel like the only reason the world uses toilet paper is because it's more economical. Wet wipes would be clearly superior.[/quote]

What the hell do you eat that all your shits are melty chocolate consistency? If I'm healthy and 100%, I take about 4-5 shits a day which are 2-3 wipers at the most.[/quote]

4-5 times a day?? Fuck, dude!

I'm like once every two days at most.[/QUOTE]

Eat more fiber.

Sit and tilt. Easier access to the wrinkly winkle. Since I come from a hairy family I want to be extra certain there's no... ummm... surprises in my ass hair.

As for wiping material: two-ply toilet paper, two pieces, folded once. Three pieces, folded twice if 'extra juicy' or if it's some crappy, cheap-o toilet paper some people use. Seriously, that's the worst kind of toilet paper. I'm pulling out curl straps out of my ass hair for a day...

Chazwozel;315604][quote=doomdragon6 said:

4-5 times a day?? Fuck, dude!

I'm like once every two days at most.

Click to expand...

Eat more fiber.[/QUOTE]

By the bucket full if you do it 4-5 times a day...

What do you do when you get John Wayne toilet paper?

Stander here. How the hell can you wipe sitting down? There's only one way I can imagine it working and you are reaching back into the fucking toilet.

Really, HOW?

Okay, I just went to the little old man's room and actually had to sit. While I was doing it I had the opportunity to think about this on a more clinical level.

I see the benefits of being able to stand while wiping. For one thing, if the toilet is auto flush, standing stops the inevitable backwash of the flush from burbling back up onto your freshly wiped hind parts. I hate that.

The problem that I see is that without much practice it would be difficult to get all the dangly bits, especially if you are particularly hairy. Also, there are times that the event is...less than solid. Wouldn't that follow gravity and trek down your leg?

I sit. I'm going to keep on sitting. Standing is just too much work.

Frankie said:

http://www.charmin.com/en_US/wet-wipes-freshmates.php

My ass is cleaner than all you dry toilet paper users!

Click to expand...

I got introduced to flush-able wipes back when they started making them for babies, but before they started packaging them for everyday use. I used to buy them and use them long after my son was potty trained..

Count me in as someone who doesn't get the sit & wipe logistics. I lift a few inches off the seat, which I guess is a high squat (or sitting with no seat contact, if you prefer). Are you sitters really picturing someone standing straight up and wiping? That's dumb.

If I don't go 2x a day or so, I know my diet is crap. Eat your veggies, people.

What about those who stand WHILE shitting?

Dave said:

Okay, I just went to the little old man's room and actually had to sit. While I was doing it I had the opportunity to think about this on a more clinical level.

I see the benefits of being able to stand while wiping. For one thing, if the toilet is auto flush, standing stops the inevitable backwash of the flush from burbling back up onto your freshly wiped hind parts. I hate that.

The problem that I see is that without much practice it would be difficult to get all the dangly bits, especially if you are particularly hairy. Also, there are times that the event is...less than solid. Wouldn't that follow gravity and trek down your leg?

I sit. I'm going to keep on sitting. Standing is just too much work.

Click to expand...

If it's less than solid, you really shouldn't be standing up anyway if it's still leaking out. =P

You people seem to thing that any leftover doo-doo is gonna fall. If you're actually DONE POOPING this isn't going to happen. =P

Dave, you mentioned the dangly bits as well. Does that mean you also wipe the balls or is your arsehole... umm... uhhh... I don't think I even want to imagine what would make that "dangly".

Chazwozel;315570][quote=Shegokigo said:

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

Click to expand...

So's my wife. I think women in general shit a whole lot less then men do. It used to be like 2x a day for me until my doctors jacked up my thyroid a couple months ago. My metabolism is so much faster now that I dropped like 18 lbs and eat like a horse.[/QUOTE]

I usually go once or twice a day. Any less than that and I'm - uncomfortable.

North_Ranger said:

Dave, you mentioned the dangly bits as well. Does that mean you also wipe the balls or is your arsehole... umm... uhhh... I don't think I even want to imagine what would make that \"dangly\".

Click to expand...

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dingleberry

#3.

Sometimes this forum is pure (brown?) gold.

I'm a sitter. I love the wet wipes. I've never felt cleaner. I used to hide them in my bathroom so visitors wouldn't see them but now I proudly display them (but still leave a roll of the archaic stuff for people) on my bathroom counter and refuse to be given any (shit?) grief about them.

The thing I can't get past is this whole reaching back thing. WTF? You reach around your body? I just spread my legs, reach down between them and give a good (wet) wiping. WTF people?? Reach around?

Wildsoul;315645][quote=Chazwozel;315570][quote=Shegokigo said:

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

Click to expand...

So's my wife. I think women in general shit a whole lot less then men do. It used to be like 2x a day for me until my doctors jacked up my thyroid a couple months ago. My metabolism is so much faster now that I dropped like 18 lbs and eat like a horse.[/QUOTE]

I usually go once or twice a day. Any less than that and I'm - uncomfortable.[/QUOTE]

How often do you eat?

I sit and typically go once every day or two. I find most people though can wait longer than they think, particularly anyone who camps. These people will go three days without blinking an eye.

There is so much moral outrage over other peoples' defecatory habits. "You wipe sitting down? FUCK YOU!!!"

I sit..Though at at Music Festivals i learned the art of shitting while standing and wiping that way.It was weird.

BTW,
when i'm in a non Festival Environment i take 4-5 dumps a day. You people should eat more fibers.

There was a period of time in college where I pooped only once a week.

And then dropped a massive solid load.

@Li3n;315607][quote=Chazwozel;315604][quote=doomdragon6 said:

4-5 times a day?? Fuck, dude!

I'm like once every two days at most.

Click to expand...

Eat more fiber.[/quote]

By the bucket full if you do it 4-5 times a day...[/QUOTE]


I eat more vegetables than a fucking giraffe my friend.

doomdragon6 said:

There was a period of time in college where I pooped only once a week.

And then dropped a massive solid load.

Click to expand...

The question is,did you wipe the massive load sitting or standing.

Jake said:

Count me in as someone who doesn't get the sit & wipe logistics. I lift a few inches off the seat, which I guess is a high squat (or sitting with no seat contact, if you prefer). Are you sitters really picturing someone standing straight up and wiping? That's dumb.

If I don't go 2x a day or so, I know my diet is crap. Eat your veggies, people.

Click to expand...

Well yeah, you don't stay seated. You lift you cheeks up a bit, but you ass cheeks remain spread open so you can wipe your button.

---------- Post added at 03:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 PM ----------

Thread Necromancer said:

Sometimes this forum is pure (brown?) gold.

I'm a sitter. I love the wet wipes. I've never felt cleaner. I used to hide them in my bathroom so visitors wouldn't see them but now I proudly display them (but still leave a roll of the archaic stuff for people) on my bathroom counter and refuse to be given any (shit?) grief about them.

The thing I can't get past is this whole reaching back thing. WTF? You reach around your body? I just spread my legs, reach down between them and give a good (wet) wiping. WTF people?? Reach around?

Click to expand...

Well then your taint just gets all nasty doesn't it?

---------- Post added at 03:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:41 PM ----------

Shegokigo;315654][quote=Wildsoul;315645][quote=Chazwozel;315570][quote=Shegokigo said:

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

Click to expand...

So's my wife. I think women in general shit a whole lot less then men do. It used to be like 2x a day for me until my doctors jacked up my thyroid a couple months ago. My metabolism is so much faster now that I dropped like 18 lbs and eat like a horse.[/quote]

I usually go once or twice a day. Any less than that and I'm - uncomfortable.[/quote]

How often do you eat?[/QUOTE]

I eat something like every hour and a half.

LordRendar;315684][quote=doomdragon6 said:

There was a period of time in college where I pooped only once a week.

And then dropped a massive solid load.

Click to expand...

The question is,did you wipe the massive load sitting or standing.[/QUOTE]

I have made it perfectly clear that I am a stander and despise all sitters.

doomdragon6 said:

I have made it perfectly clear that I am a stander and despise all sitters.

Click to expand...

Damn Heretic...

Shegokigo;315654][quote=Wildsoul;315645][quote=Chazwozel;315570][quote=Shegokigo said:

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

Click to expand...

So's my wife. I think women in general shit a whole lot less then men do. It used to be like 2x a day for me until my doctors jacked up my thyroid a couple months ago. My metabolism is so much faster now that I dropped like 18 lbs and eat like a horse.[/QUOTE]

I usually go once or twice a day. Any less than that and I'm - uncomfortable.[/QUOTE]

How often do you eat?[/QUOTE]

3 meals plus 1 snack a day. I eat a lot of fruits, veggies, and whole grains. I only have 1 cup of coffee in the morning and a glass of iced tea with lunch or dinner. The rest of the time I drink water.

I can't see how that would cause you to excrete twice a day...

Shegokigo said:

I can't see how that would cause you to excrete twice a day...

Click to expand...

It's possible. But everyone's body's a bit different.

My point is, when not much is coming in as going out, there's a missing part of an equation there don't you think?

Personally I'd hate to waste half my waking hours droppin' a dook. I mean, really.

When I was in the army, I learned the art of holding it in. Mainly because at times it was too cold and dark to go shitting in the woods when we were on bivouac. If you've ever been camping during the winter on a moonless night, you get the idea. Also, our cadets were well-known for waiting for the most inopportune moment possible to start exercises.

At one time, I held it in for three days - and almost frickin' broke the toilet once we were back to barracks.

I used to stand, now I sit. It just kinda...clicked one day to keep sitting down. It really came in handy when I had to drop a bomb in a bar that didn't have an actual stall.


As for frequency, usually twice a day.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go forget this thread so I can have my lunch.

phil said:

I used to stand, now I sit. It just kinda...clicked one day to keep sitting down. It really came in handy when I had to drop a bomb in a bar that didn't have an actual stall.


As for frequency, usually twice a day.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go forget this thread so I can have my lunch.

Click to expand...

What are you having? Chili with chocolate mousse for dessert?

phil said:

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go forget this thread so I can have my lunch.

Click to expand...

Go make some of Frankie's poo-browns

Shakey;315749][quote=phil said:

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go forget this thread so I can have my lunch.

Click to expand...

Go make some of Frankie's poo-browns[/QUOTE]

Or how about some mämmi?

There are options??

I stand. Straight up. My underwear is spotless and my ass-cheeks pristine. I also blast a dookie twice a day on average. Sometimes more, occasionally less.

Why are we talking about this?

Simfers said:

I stand. Straight up. My underwear is spotless and my ass-cheeks pristine. I also blast a dookie twice a day on average. Sometimes more, occasionally less.

Why are we talking about this?

Click to expand...

It's been the hottest, steamiest topic we've had in days. That's why.

---------- Post added at 04:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:52 PM ----------

Plus it's funny.

I sit down, take my time to do the job, don't stand up to wipe and then do a little sideways jump to the bidet. Oh, the cleanlyness!

Now, how do you dry after the bidet?

sixpackshaker said:

Now, how do you dry after the bidet?

Click to expand...

Curiously, I do so standing up... very carefully so not to wet my pants* with the possible water that could run down my legs. I guess it's probably because, if not, the little bidet towel would get all wet from touching the actual bidet.

*or the floor. I actually like to take off my pants and underpants when I'm on the loo at home. Wich is where I have a bidet.

sixpackshaker said:

Now, how do you dry after the bidet?

Click to expand...

Amorous Vyxen;315811][quote=Jake said:

Are you sitters really picturing someone standing straight up and wiping? That's dumb.

Click to expand...

Well, there's at least a few that really mean standing = standing.

For example:

Simfers said:

I stand. Straight up.

Click to expand...

[/QUOTE]
See now, that's just wrong. I think we can all agree on that.

North_Ranger said:

When I was in the army, I learned the art of holding it in. Mainly because at times it was too cold and dark to go shitting in the woods when we were on bivouac. If you've ever been camping during the winter on a moonless night, you get the idea. Also, our cadets were well-known for waiting for the most inopportune moment possible to start exercises.

At one time, I held it in for three days - and almost frickin' broke the toilet once we were back to barracks.

Click to expand...

I go hunting for turkey occasionally, and never had trouble shitting in the woods even if it was -10 below. Hell, a moonless night might make things easier since no one will see you. When I played football and hockey in high school and college I'd take a big smoking shit right before practice so the urge wouldn't pop in mid-wind sprints or up-downs. Hell, I take a big shit right before any hockey practice/game I have now. Nothing's worse than doing butterflies if you have to take a shit (except maybe running).

Shegokigo said:

I have no Earthly idea how one can wipe while standing.

Click to expand...

This.

Shegokigo said:

My point is, when not much is coming in as going out, there's a missing part of an equation there don't you think?

Click to expand...

It also baffles my husband that I don't take much time when I go. I'm in and out of the bathroom in about 5 minutes.

Chazwozel;315883][quote=North_Ranger said:

When I was in the army, I learned the art of holding it in. Mainly because at times it was too cold and dark to go shitting in the woods when we were on bivouac. If you've ever been camping during the winter on a moonless night, you get the idea. Also, our cadets were well-known for waiting for the most inopportune moment possible to start exercises.

At one time, I held it in for three days - and almost frickin' broke the toilet once we were back to barracks.

Click to expand...

I go hunting for turkey occasionally, and never had trouble shitting in the woods even if it was -10 below. Hell, a moonless night might make things easier since no one will see you. When I played football and hockey in high school and college I'd take a big smoking shit right before practice so the urge wouldn't pop in mid-wind sprints or up-downs. Hell, I take a big shit right before any hockey practice/game I have now. Nothing's worse than doing butterflies if you have to take a shit (except maybe running).[/QUOTE]

Please remember that when you're turkey hunting, you're not exactly expecting to be rushed at a moment's notice.

Second of all, trying to have a crap while on bivouac is something of a maneuver, what with the fact that every moment you're IN FULL COMBAT GEAR. You don't take those off in a jiffy - and you pretty much have to if you want to reach your belt and pull your trousers down.

I wipe sitting down. Easy and comfortable.

I have enough experience shitting in the woods to know that it is much preferable to go to the bathroom outdoors in the winter. A little cold doesn't hurt, but mosquitos can be a literal pain in the ass.

Now why am I discussing this on a public forum? :eyeroll:

I'd...never even considered the idea of standing until this thread. *boggle*

There are people who... stand?

I'm confused on the bidet front. Never having considered it but it makes sense one would have to dry after that. So... are these public towels? Are bidets usually an at home experience or would one find them at say, a nice restaurant or a mall? what then?

Jake said:

Are you sitters really picturing someone standing straight up and wiping? That's dumb.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm not straight as a board into the sky with my butt cheeks clenching or something.

Charlie Dont Surf said:

someone wiser than I said:

I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it \"The Washington\", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.

Click to expand...

.

Click to expand...

This is one of the best things I have ever read.

---------- Post added at 03:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

Also, because poop has been mentioned and therefore I have to post it:

You've never seen the poop race? It is made of awesome.

... and poop.

Freud would have a field day with this thread.

Philosopher B. said:

You've never seen the poop race? It is made of awesome.

... and poop.

Click to expand...

ROFLMAO! I love the poop race! I found it last year, I think. I laughed so hard I was crying.

Charlie Dont Surf said:

someone wiser than I said:

I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it "The Washington", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.

Click to expand...

.

Click to expand...

This right here is what I do... except I use the left foot rather than the right.

I also sometimes finish off standing.

I'm a sitter and I can't imagine standing.

Until a week ago, I had no idea people sat to wipe. Like, what if your hand touched the water, or, ummm, other things, when you were reaching around? Eww.

Nope, I stand straight and proud, all 6'3'' of me. And I've never had skid marks, thank you very much. It's not that hard people, if you need to get a bit cleaner, use your other hand to pull your cheeks apart, damn.

I've also never had a dingleberry problem, perhaps because I'm not very hairy. Or maybe because I wait until I'm well and done before I start to wipe. *shrugs*

Jesus, Dieb, how much water is in your bowl? It's got to be like a fucking ocean in there.

Krisken said:

Jesus, Dieb, how much water is in your bowl? It's got to be like a fucking ocean in there.

Click to expand...

Well, I've never actually TRIED it sitting down, as I said I never considered sitting until a week ago. It just...seems like a possibility.

Thread Necromancer said:

I'm confused on the bidet front. Never having considered it but it makes sense one would have to dry after that. So... are these public towels? Are bidets usually an at home experience or would one find them at say, a nice restaurant or a mall? what then?

Click to expand...

It's strictly an at home (and sometimes hotel) experience. You don't generally use other's peoples bidets if you are at their home. (unless you are their guest for days, for example)

I'm a sitter, too. Standers are clearly freaks.
I used to go once a day, about, but since I'm on my current medication, it's been 4 or 5 times a day. Bloody annoying.

Sitting, as I cant use this standing up-

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

Or just the left hand.

Shegokigo said:

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

Click to expand...

But where is the bragging fun in that?

Shannow;316106][quote=Shegokigo said:

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

Click to expand...

But where is the bragging fun in that?[/QUOTE]And it does avoid having to explain it to those who dont know it.

We are in an international forum, after all.

JCM;316110][quote=Shannow;316106][quote=Shegokigo said:

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

Click to expand...

But where is the bragging fun in that?[/QUOTE]And it does avoid having to explain it to those who dont know it.

We are in an international forum, after all.[/QUOTE]

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

Shocking revelation: I have never used a bidet.

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

sixpackshaker said:

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

Click to expand...

I SO wish I wasn't at work right now. I have a perfect picture for this but it's NSFW.

Basically it's a frozen bidet and the water looks like a frozen dildo.

I think Liberace is a part of the comic.

I, for one, am happy you are at work.

sixpackshaker said:

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

Click to expand...

...

Rrrrrrrrroooiiiiight.

*scribbles down sixpackshaker's name in his To Kill in Painful Manner list* For... making... gay... joke... to... a... Finn...

I did not say you had to insert the icicle, but if that is where you want to go with that...

Dude.

Water goes up and freezes.

Against your ass.

Where does that NOT turn into a gay joke?

Because I agreed that you don't do it. I also did not think that bidets would have the force to, you know...

North_Ranger;316186][quote=sixpackshaker said:

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

Click to expand...

...

Rrrrrrrrroooiiiiight.

*scribbles down sixpackshaker's name in his To Kill in Painful Manner list* For... making... gay... joke... to... a... Finn...[/QUOTE]

So Finns can't be gay?

Shegokigo;316205][quote=North_Ranger;316186][quote=sixpackshaker said:

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

Click to expand...

...

Rrrrrrrrroooiiiiight.

*scribbles down sixpackshaker's name in his To Kill in Painful Manner list* For... making... gay... joke... to... a... Finn...[/quote]

So Finns can't be gay?[/QUOTE]

Nooooo. It's just that if they laugh at gay jokes, a near-deadly toxin gets released into their system (notice how his phrasing slowed down and was filled with ellipses). Hence, it's considered rude to crack gay jokes at them Finns.

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

Amorous Vyxen;316236][quote=LordRavage said:

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

Click to expand...

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

Shegokigo said:

So Finns can't be gay?

Click to expand...

If that were true, our "oldies" music industry wouldn't be as popular as it is.

You did realize I was joking, didn't you, you silly homicidal Latina, you?

I sit, because that is the only way I feel comfortable without feeling like a freaking plebian.

Thread Necromancer said:

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

Click to expand...

Oh, I forgot to say in my answer that generally there's a bidet towel per bathroom. But as I'm the only one that uses it at home, I have no problem with that.

Standing. Sitters are evil freaks who should all die. And considering the mammoth shits I take (Twice a day) it just seems like it would be a trap to put my hand down there.

Thread Necromancer;316151][quote=JCM;316110][quote=Shannow;316106][quote=Shegokigo said:

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

Click to expand...

But where is the bragging fun in that?[/quote]And it does avoid having to explain it to those who dont know it.

We are in an international forum, after all.[/quote]

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.[/QUOTE]In brazil most bathrooms have a paper towel dispenser, although not many have a bidet... I usually take some of those with me when Im using the loo, but I prefer to do number 2 at home.

LordRavage;316240][quote=Amorous Vyxen;316236][quote=LordRavage said:

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

Click to expand...

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

[/QUOTE]

I laughed so hard at this. I can just picture someone having a deathgrip on the bowl with their legs and screeching like a stuck pig.

RoboKomodo;316757][quote=LordRavage;316240][quote=Amorous Vyxen;316236][quote=LordRavage said:

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

Click to expand...

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

[/QUOTE]

I laughed so hard at this. I can just picture someone having a deathgrip on the bowl with their legs and screeching like a stuck pig.[/QUOTE]

Hemorrhoids.

That's why

The shit I just levelled upon the toilet here at work was once again truly epic. Thursday mornings, the after-effects of chilli, tacos, and miller light the night before are truly a sight to behold.

Thread Necromancer said:

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

Click to expand...

I think folks actually have a butt towel in the bathroom, at least in Indian households. Be careful which towel you dry your hands with!

I personally use wet-wipes. If you get shit on your arm, are you going to take a dry towel and wipe it off or are you going to wet it down and wash it. I do have a little storage packet that I keep at my desk when I am at work.

I would like to have a bidet in my house, but I don't like the idea of a butt towel.

drawn_inward;316829][quote=Thread Necromancer said:

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

Click to expand...

I think folks actually have a butt towel in the bathroom, at least in Indian households. Be careful which towel you dry your hands with!

I personally use wet-wipes. If you get shit on your arm, are you going to take a dry towel and wipe it off or are you going to wet it down and wash it. I do have a little storage packet that I keep at my desk when I am at work.

I would like to have a bidet in my house, but I don't like the idea of a butt towel.[/QUOTE]
?

The thirteen year old giggler is intensely pleased with this thread.

Shakey said:

Sub question, who looks to see how big it is?

Click to expand...

I look and try to figure out how big a cellmate I will be able to handle if I am ever imprisoned.

EDIT:
You have also just made me question how my wife does this, which I consequently hate you for.

Fun Size said:

EDIT:
You have also just made me question how my wife does this, which I consequently hate you for.

Click to expand...

Hide behind the shower curtain and wait for her to come in and drop a load. Peak out at the last minute to watch. She won't mind, tell her it's for a scientific poll.

---------- Post added at 02:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:27 PM ----------

eep:
Peek-a-poop

This thread has made me snort out loud several times!

For the record, I am a sitter, and like several others, never knew there was an option! Somehow, my 9 year old choses to stand when she wipes after she pees. Dunno where she got it from, but I don't care to change how she does it either.

The guys I work with and I were discussing poo one day (of several) and I asked why they took reading material in with them. I never quite got that. When I have to poo, I go in, poo, wipe (with paper followed by a baby wipe) and leave. One guy there we labeled him as "nesting". He'd take the news paper in with him, read a section and discard it on the floor. He's read the next section, and discard it on the floor slightly overlapping the previous, and same with the next until he had a little arc of newspapers in front of the toilet.

I try not to go at work. Ugh! However, I work a 24 hour shift, so sometimes it's not possible. Thank goodness I am one of those "every two-three day-ers" *and* I eat lots of apples, peaches, and other veggies!

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

Even worse when the material is porn.

You would not believe how many times I've seen that when working around Oil Field Workers or Lumber Yard Employees...

LordRavage;316240][quote=Amorous Vyxen;316236][quote=LordRavage said:

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

Click to expand...

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

[/QUOTE]

sixpackshaker said:

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

Click to expand...

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...

Silver Jelly said:

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

Click to expand...

I can too, I'll shit, wipe and flush and just sit there reading for the next 25-30 minutes. I find it's fantastic place to concentrate. No one's there bothering you and the fan drowns out most outside noise. It's like a white noise haven.

Frankie;317141][quote=Silver Jelly said:

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

Click to expand...

I can too, I'll shit, wipe and flush and just sit there reading for the next 25-30 minutes. I find it's fantastic place to concentrate. No one's there bothering you and the fan drowns out most outside noise. It's like a white noise haven.[/QUOTE]

I probably get more reading done in the bathroom than anywhere else. Sooo relaxing too, with all the soothingly higenic colours.

Frankie;317141][quote=Silver Jelly said:

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

Click to expand...

I can too, I'll shit, wipe and flush and just sit there reading for the next 25-30 minutes. I find it's fantastic place to concentrate. No one's there bothering you and the fan drowns out most outside noise. It's like a white noise haven.[/QUOTE]

That's not exactly my case: I noticed I can sit down, do my job, wipe and good bye what nice 10 minutes... but I know that if I stay 10 minutes more, I'll be able to do some more pooping... and If I wait a little more, repeat (but not rinse until the last time). After the "emptying" process is over, I feel like a new man. It's great.

(I also love to read in the bathroom though. And in waiting rooms or airplanes, for example. I can concentrate because there's nothing else to do... AND THAT'S AWESOME.)

Heavan;317132][quote=sixpackshaker said:

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

Click to expand...

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...[/quote]

Each flush creates a mist of poo-borne bacteria. That gets on everything in the poo-room. Honestly, one should flush and haul ass. Knowing this, I still read in the loo.

I hate those super-powerful, auto flushers that splash water everywhere when they flush, especially if you trigger it before you're finished and you get shitty-water splashed all about.

drawn_inward;317154][quote=Heavan;317132][quote=sixpackshaker said:

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

Click to expand...

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...[/quote]

Each flush creates a mist of poo-borne bacteria. That gets on everything in the poo-room. Honestly, one should flush and haul ass. Knowing this, I still read in the loo.

I hate those super-powerful, auto flushers that splash water everywhere when they flush, especially if you trigger it before you're finished and you get shitty-water splashed all about. [/QUOTE]

... Have you tried lowering the lid before flushing?

I'm a sitter and had no idea there were standers in the world. I also come from a family of hairy men, so I have to be very thorough when wiping. My shitting time is usually before I take a shower. When I'm taking that shower, I will sometimes turn around and let that high-pressure stream of water clean out anything I missed.

Damn.

After a %^$# dirty toilet at my sister's graduation party, Im actually missing the squat toilets that I lived with in Asia.

I now think of Halforums when I'm taking a dump.

Nice going guys.

Heavan;317132][quote=sixpackshaker said:

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

Click to expand...

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...[/QUOTE]

But you end up reading a Sports Illustrated that at least 2 other men have read after touching their junk and taint.

What. People read things they just find in the bathroom? What! I only read things I own in the bathroom.

I have a huge pile of magazines in my toilet. Mostly History, but there's also one Dilbert there. I used to read League of Extraordinary Gentlemen there as well, but I stopped out of fear they might start smelling of my ass.

Bathroom material at our apartment, conviently located at the toilet for easy perusal, is the rotating weekly sports illustrated, as well as these three tomes:
The first two are the large volume essential versions of this (a-m, and m-z)


And the main favorite:

Charlie Dont Surf said:

What. People read things they just find in the bathroom? What! I only read things I own in the bathroom.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I've never been in a public restroom where there's stuff to read. Seems weird. Plus, you wanna keep the line moving in a public place. I don't even like to touch my friends' Cosmopolitans and catalogs when I go at their homes.

---------- Post added at 11:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:01 AM ----------

And I'm gonna echo what Philosopher said. Jesus, man, the amount of things that remind me of halforums is getting ridiculous.

Cajungal said:

Jesus, man, the amount of things that remind me of halforums is getting ridiculous.

Click to expand...

I know, right?

And I don't think I've ever read a single word in a bathroom. Get in, get out, that's me.

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

Shakey said:

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

Click to expand...

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.

Frankie;317821][quote=Shakey said:

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

Click to expand...

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.[/QUOTE]

So you finish pooping, wipe, and then just sit there in your own stink reading?

Shakey;317843][quote=Frankie;317821][quote=Shakey said:

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

Click to expand...

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.[/QUOTE]

So you finish pooping, wipe, and then just sit there in your own stink reading?[/QUOTE]

Actually, I poop, wipe, flush with the lid down, wash my hands and sit on the closed lid of the toilet and read, but yeah, I've been in the same room with a man who had basically shit his guts out and had been left to decay for about 3 days before anyone had known he had died. The slight aroma of my own poop is pretty easy to tolerate.

I read most of my novels in the bathroom. Takes me about 3-4 months to read through something decently sized though.

Frankie;317872][quote=Shakey;317843][quote=Frankie;317821][quote=Shakey said:

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

Click to expand...

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.[/QUOTE]

So you finish pooping, wipe, and then just sit there in your own stink reading?[/QUOTE]

Know what's neat? This stuff is neat:

http://poopourri.com/

Just spray it in the water before going and it covers up any unpleasant smells. My folks AND my sister use it, and it really works well.

I seriously never could have imagined someone just hanging out in the bathroom after the deed is done. Consider my mind blown.

Well, if you live with somebody you'll eventually come to a situation where somebody will enter the toilet shortly after "the deed is done".

One reason I'm happy to live alone is because dear old Dad leaves face-melting gases in the toilet. I'm glad he wasn't found out during the Bush administration; they would have mistaken him for a biological weapons plant.

Shannow said:

Bathroom material at our apartment, conviently located at the toilet for easy perusal, is the rotating weekly sports illustrated, as well as these three tomes *pics*

Click to expand...

I'll take one of these two for bathroom time.....






...so I can freak everyone out by screaming-




Or time my bowel movements to the beat of...




Pon pon pata pon!

See, the butt towel thing still.... how does this work? Towels hanging, his, hers, and butts....

Do the make towels embroidered with "Butt"?

A google search for "butt towel" yields.... interesting results. One of which I find interesting is that apparently people who purchase Cat Butt-Towel hangers also frequently purchase Assassin's Creed 2.

What the hell is a Cat Butt-Towel holder? Is that.... Cat shaped, and the towel goes.....

Frankie Williamson said:

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.

Click to expand...

So you finish pooping, wipe, and then just sit there in your own stink reading?[/QUOTE]

Actually, I poop, wipe, flush with the lid down, wash my hands and sit on the closed lid of the toilet and read, but yeah, I've been in the same room with a man who had basically shit his guts out and had been left to decay for about 3 days before anyone had known he had died. The slight aroma of my own poop is pretty easy to tolerate.[/quote]

I was so young and naive then.

The new record is 3 weeks dead.

Why was this necro'd, for the bored guy's benefit?

Because it entertains me.

I feel like that's the kind of excuse the Endless would make.

I admire that you live up to your name

Best necro ever.

Standing, by the way. Using baby wipes.

Baby wipes? Someone likes that feel fresh feeling!

Leaning on one cheek and cursing my hairiness

Frankie Williamson said:

Here's my weird pooping thing. I love adult wet wipes. They're fucking awesome. It's really the best of both worlds bidet and toilet paper.

Click to expand...

This. I have since moved on to more of a bidet situation, but flushable wet-wipes are the best.

Seriously, if you had shit on your arm, would you use dry toilet paper and call it a day? OR would you wash your arm off with soap and water???

Dry toilet paper = dried shit on your ass. Gross.

I've tried the wet wipes. I always felt squishy when I was done wiping and it made me feel like I wasn't clean enough. I'd end up going back with dry tissue anyway. They are great, though, if you're sick and your rear is sore.

What Wasabi said.
and i do it sitting,with my right buttcheek lifted.

I use an entire bath towel like butt floss, folding it up lengthwise and yanking it fore and aft, then refold and repeat, until I feel cleansed. Then I light it on fire and throw it out the window.

Yeah, my towel budget's rather hefty.

Sitting, with a tilt for reaching. Using wet wipes to start and one dry tissue to finish.

I'm quite thorough.

GasBandit said:

Yeah, my towel budget's rather hefty.

Click to expand...

Let me introduce you to my friend, the $1.42 towel:

http://www.thetoweldepot.com/bath-t...s-20-and-quotx40-and-quot-5-5lbs-quality.html

Sure, it's a 60 pack that you have to buy at once, but with 60 towels you are always sure to know where your towel is at, you hoopy frood you.

stienman said:

Let me introduce you to my friend, the $1.42 towel:

http://www.thetoweldepot.com/bath-t...s-20-and-quotx40-and-quot-5-5lbs-quality.html

Sure, it's a 60 pack that you have to buy at once, but with 60 towels you are always sure to know where your towel is at, you hoopy frood you.

Click to expand...

The towel depot dot com. This site exists. My brain asplode.

People who masturbate to anime are 10% more likely to wipe standing up.

Click to expand...

via http://www.collegehumor.com/sexsurvey/2011 which has a lot of other... interesting ... results.

Thread Necromancer said:

Because it entertains me.

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It was random? I figured it got necroed because Lifehacker had an article on it yesterday.

Jiarn said:

Sitting, with a tilt for reaching. Using wet wipes to start and one dry tissue to finish.

I'm quite thorough.

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Not worth starting a new thread, but worth a chuckle:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/peeing_sitting_down