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Doomweasels! HEAR ME!

Jan 21, 2013#1

ThatNickGuy

Doomweasels? Psh. DOOMweasels? More like GLOOMweasels. You are about as intimidating as Gusto.

Know this, and know this well, Doomweasels. I am Lord Diomedes, future ruler of this world. There can only be one, one future world dominator and it shall be me. My human slave made the mistake of naming me after a famous Greek hero, which will be the undoing for all of you.

Now, I am many things, but I can show a modicum of restraint when I take over this world. Pledge allegiance to me, Doomweasels, and your master will be spared. You will have all the venomous snakes to play with and kill as you please. Also, I provide free dental care.

FYI, I have heat vision:

Jan 21, 2013#2

Gusto

ThatNickGuy said:
You are about as intimidating as Gusto.

Why you gotta go there.

Jan 21, 2013#3

ThatNickGuy

'Tis all in good fun, sir. I meant no harm by it.

Jan 21, 2013#4

bhamv3

Gusto, for what it's worth, I find you highly intimidating. Whenever I see you around, I got chills.

Jan 21, 2013#5

strawman

bhamv3 said:
I got chills.

They're multiplyin'

Jan 21, 2013#6

Gusto

Mmm hmm, yes.

Jan 21, 2013#7

Cajungal

Gusto, if you wore black spandex and teased your hair, we'd all be terrified... is what we're trying to say.

Jan 21, 2013#8

Gusto

Cajungal said:
Gusto, if you wore black spandex and teased your hair, we'd all be terrified... is what we're trying to say.

That does sound terrifying!

Jan 21, 2013#9

Azurephoenix

I once saw a cat attempt to catch a weasel that was living in our yard. I liked that weasel for he kept the yard free from verminous moles and gophers. When I saw the cat make it's move on the weasel I figured I was going to have to intervene for the weasel's sake.

That weasel bit the hell out of the cat and chased it up a tree where the cat stayed for a long while as the weasel hissed and circled the tree.

WEASELS RULE!

Jan 21, 2013#10

strawman

Azurephoenix said:
that weasel ... kept the yard free from verminous moles and gophers.

Please tell me you can rent a weasel?

Jan 21, 2013#11

HCGLNS

stienman said:
Please tell me you can rent a weasel?

They charge $475 and hour!

I'm not sure I can get behind this Diomedes fellow. His total accomplishments to date are conquering ThatNickGuy. And lets face it, Nick's about as intimidating as the lint under Dave 's moobs.

Jan 21, 2013#12

CrimsonSoul

TNG you're argument is about as convincing as Charlie Don't surfs I would @ him but I don't think it works with tapatalk

Jan 21, 2013#13

Emrys

Let's see...

Cats -
sleep 18 hours per day
groom the other 6
cough up hairballs
stare at you disdainfully
are loners
ignore you unless you have something they want
plot to murder you in your sleep
go to the door and stare outside for a good 15 minutes while the -40C wind whips around your ankles
will never take over the world because they're too frakkin' lazy

Doomweasels -
have two speeds - sleep and zoom!
are highly intelligent problem solvers
have been trained to work in packs
regularly go online to talk to humans and gather information on them
are building a doomsday machine out of stuff that they've stolen around the house (mostly my socks and bras)
have their own account on ferret.com and are regularly charging their purchases to my credit card (the only explanation for all these toys)
are plotting your demise by lulling you into a false sense of security with their cuteness before tripping you down the stairs

Sorry, ThatNickGuy, but doomweasels win. You should give in to the inevitable.

Jan 21, 2013#14

Cajungal

Plus, if you lose something inside of a tube-shaped space, they can go in and get it. /HomeMovies

Jan 21, 2013#15

Emrys

And you can do Doomweasel Bowling, which I'll record and upload here as soon as I get my camera back from my mom.

Jan 21, 2013#16

HCGLNS

Of course, Doomweasels fall to

Zombie Beavers!

Jan 21, 2013#17

Emrys

You think beavers, even zombie ones, can stand up to us when we can do this?

Jan 21, 2013#18

HCGLNS

Yeah, a carnivore killing a rabbit ain't that impressive. Yet, beavers can and often kill carnivores, in self defense, or in the case of zombie beavers for the brains.

I am the only one that wanted the rabbit to run right at one of the other rabbits and jump over it at the last second? Leaving the stoat to attack the new rabbit.

Jan 21, 2013#19

Chad Sexington

HCGLNS said:
Yeah, a carnivore killing a rabbit ain't that impressive. Yet, beavers can and often kill carnivores, in self defense, or in the case of zombie beavers for the brains.

I am the only one that wanted the rabbit to run right at one of the other rabbits and jump over it at the last second? Leaving the stoat to attack the new rabbit.

Those other rabbits didn't give a fuck about that guy. They were just like "Man, Steve's a dick. I hope he gets eaten."

Jan 21, 2013#20

ThatNickGuy

HCGLNS said:
They charge $475 and hour!

I'm not sure I can get behind this Diomedes fellow. His total accomplishments to date are conquering ThatNickGuy. And lets face it, Nick's about as intimidating as the lint under Dave 's moobs.

Oi!

...

Yeah.

Jan 21, 2013#21

HCGLNS

ThatNickGuy said:
Oi!

...

Yeah.

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