Doomweasels! HEAR ME!

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ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Doomweasels? Psh. DOOMweasels? More like GLOOMweasels. You are about as intimidating as Gusto.

Know this, and know this well, Doomweasels. I am Lord Diomedes, future ruler of this world. There can only be one, one future world dominator and it shall be me. My human slave made the mistake of naming me after a famous Greek hero, which will be the undoing for all of you.

Now, I am many things, but I can show a modicum of restraint when I take over this world. Pledge allegiance to me, Doomweasels, and your master will be spared. You will have all the venomous snakes to play with and kill as you please. Also, I provide free dental care.

FYI, I have heat vision:
Lord Diomedes 1.png
Lord Diomedes 2.jpg
Lord Diomedes 3.jpg
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
Gusto, if you wore black spandex and teased your hair, we'd all be terrified... is what we're trying to say.
 
Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

I once saw a cat attempt to catch a weasel that was living in our yard. I liked that weasel for he kept the yard free from verminous moles and gophers. When I saw the cat make it's move on the weasel I figured I was going to have to intervene for the weasel's sake.

That weasel bit the hell out of the cat and chased it up a tree where the cat stayed for a long while as the weasel hissed and circled the tree.

WEASELS RULE!
 
Emrys

Emrys

Let's see...

Cats -
sleep 18 hours per day
groom the other 6
cough up hairballs
stare at you disdainfully
are loners
ignore you unless you have something they want
plot to murder you in your sleep
go to the door and stare outside for a good 15 minutes while the -40C wind whips around your ankles
will never take over the world because they're too frakkin' lazy

Doomweasels -
have two speeds - sleep and zoom!
are highly intelligent problem solvers
have been trained to work in packs
regularly go online to talk to humans and gather information on them
are building a doomsday machine out of stuff that they've stolen around the house (mostly my socks and bras)
have their own account on ferret.com and are regularly charging their purchases to my credit card (the only explanation for all these toys)
are plotting your demise by lulling you into a false sense of security with their cuteness before tripping you down the stairs

Sorry, ThatNickGuy, but doomweasels win. You should give in to the inevitable.
 
Emrys

Emrys

And you can do Doomweasel Bowling, which I'll record and upload here as soon as I get my camera back from my mom.
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

Yeah, a carnivore killing a rabbit ain't that impressive. Yet, beavers can and often kill carnivores, in self defense, or in the case of zombie beavers for the brains.

I am the only one that wanted the rabbit to run right at one of the other rabbits and jump over it at the last second? Leaving the stoat to attack the new rabbit.
 
Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

HCGLNS said:
Yeah, a carnivore killing a rabbit ain't that impressive. Yet, beavers can and often kill carnivores, in self defense, or in the case of zombie beavers for the brains.

I am the only one that wanted the rabbit to run right at one of the other rabbits and jump over it at the last second? Leaving the stoat to attack the new rabbit.
Click to expand...
Those other rabbits didn't give a fuck about that guy. They were just like "Man, Steve's a dick. I hope he gets eaten."
 
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