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I feel compelled to ask a tactless question. How much did your wedding cost? My fiancee and I are targeting for a low cost (and low attendance!) wedding. We're probably not going to have a caterer or DJ, for example. Nevertheless, things add up quick. The photographer, equipment rentals, etc. Do any of you have inventive ways to cut costs?

MindDetective said:

I feel compelled to ask a tactless question. How much did your wedding cost? My fiancee and I are targeting for a low cost (and low attendance!) wedding. We're probably not going to have a caterer or DJ, for example. Nevertheless, things add up quick. The photographer, equipment rentals, etc. Do any of you have inventive ways to cut costs?

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$3200 food
$1200 wedding dress
$500 hall rental
$900 alcohol
$400 tux rentals
$500 DJ
$600 photographer

We did all of the decorating ourselves and saved a fair bit of money there.

600 bucks for the photographer seems like a good deal. I'm finding them to be considerably more expensive in a lot of cases. :-\

Cut the alcohol, saves almost a grand, eh?

I'm also taking advice, so Mind isn't the only one benefiting here .

We did a destination wedding with only family - about 15 people including us. We didn't have a DJ. We didn't have a traditional reception, but did have food and cake in a suite at our hotel afterward. We also had a champagne brunch with everyone the next morning.

Everything together (rings, tux rentals for my husband and my brother-in-law, my gown, my sister-in-law's gown, flights, honeymoon, hotel, ceremony, license and copies of the marriage certificate, announcements, photography, limo, flowers, brunch and other party foods) ended up costing us about 8-10k.

---------- Post added at 09:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 AM ----------

If you're looking to cut costs, one of the best things you can do is decide what the most important element of the ceremony/reception is (flowers, entertainment, photos, etc.) and concentrate your money on that.

Frau VildSoul said:

We did a destination wedding with only family - about 15 people including us. We didn't have a DJ. We didn't have a traditional reception, but did have food and cake in a suite at our hotel afterward. We also had a champagne brunch with everyone the next morning.

Everything together (rings, tux rentals for my husband and my brother-in-law, my gown, my sister-in-law's gown, flights, honeymoon, hotel, ceremony, license and copies of the marriage certificate, announcements, photography, limo, flowers, brunch and other party foods) ended up costing us about 8-10k.

---------- Post added at 09:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 AM ----------

If you're looking to cut costs, one of the best things you can do is decide what the most important element of the ceremony/reception is (flowers, entertainment, photos, etc.) and concentrate your money on that.

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We're doing a kind of destination thing too. We're going to rent a house and have the ceremony there followed by a brunch reception. It will be relatively informal and since we'll have the house for a week, family and friends can come out early and help put things together. Yet it will still be kind of small (about twice the size of yours). The problem seems to be making sure we've got a house big enough inside in case it rains and making sure a photographer and officiant can get there since it may be a bit secluded. I like the advice of focusing funds on one thing. I think it will probably be the photos.

$1200, 350 people. We had friends and family do the catering, and a friend dj'd. Father in law did pictures an later we did a studio sitting.

Have to have a lot of friends that do this sort of thing professioanlly though, who are willing to do it for the cost of material's, food, etc.

-Adam

I think our wedding cost about 5000 bucks.

We got the cheapest photography package which was about 375.00. Then we got a officiant which cost us another 300.00. We had the wedding in my parents back yard and did most of the decorating ourselves, like, the centerpieces were things that I made from stuff at the dollar store and other decorative items were found at thrift stores and refurbed to make them look pretty.

We renteed a tent for the back yard with a dance floor, that was 900.00.

We had a h'orderves(sp.?) and server, that was another 500.00.

We rented port-a-potties, 100.00 per potty.

Hm...what else. I'm obviously missing stuff....

OH! Note on the the photographer and the caterer: we went to local schools and asked who was the best in their class and sought them out. The phtographer was just out of school and caterer was recommended to us by the local cooking program.

Also, if your friends or family have connections try to have them help you out. My dad knew people from the party rental place so we got tables and chairs very, very cheap.

about 200 bucks with 10-15 people

Ours was about $5,000 altogether. We had 100 guests, got married at the hall by a public officiant, had catering, cake, made our own music discs, made our own flower arrangements (Go Hobby Lobby!), and even made our own invitations and thank you notes. My wife's dress was her mothers dress, slightly altered, and I bought a suit for the wedding.

Honeymoon we paid for separately, which came to about $700.

I think ours cost about 2000 or 2500.

- My ex sister-in-law (she got a divorce) did the photography
- We used an iPod plugged into a small, portable PA for the music and set up a specific playlist
- A long time friend of mine got ordained through the Universal Life Church. Because he knew me, and us to a certain extent, so well, he was better able to personalize his speech for us.
- I proposed at a Macaroni Grill using hangman, so we set up the decorations to go with that theme. We used long rolls of paper and put crayons around in little baskets so that people could draw, write messages, play hangman, etc.
- The catering and the hall we rented was the most expensive part.

It definitely had a small feel to it, but we fed about 50 people and kept it more intimate. Close friends and family without too much fanfare.

MindDetective said:

600 bucks for the photographer seems like a good deal. I'm finding them to be considerably more expensive in a lot of cases. :-\

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The cheapest photorapher we found was $850. And that was for the cut-rate package. Most packages were in the $2500 range.

That said, we got a photography student that Callistarya knows. We've both seen her work, and like it, and she really wants a wedding in her portfolio, so she agreed to do it for $75/hour ($225) and give us the photos on digital media. We'll be responsible for most post processing and turning photos into prints. Seems like a pretty good deal.

We found a venue that's nice. The Carpenter House is a Victorian home in Plano Texas, perfectly sized for our 35-ish wedding guests. I think we're paying about $1400 there including the mini-reception in the same location.

Wedding dress was $400, though it was originally priced at twice the price. We just happened to get lucky that the style we really liked was discontinued, so we were able to pick it up from existing stock at a discount.

Tux will be about $300.

No DJ....the Carpenter House has a 6 disc changer and is wired through sound throughout the entire grounds, and the staff will play your special songs (dances, etc) when you want. So, no cost there.

We want a limo. We'll probably pay $300 for that.

The officiant is $325. We could probably have gotten one for free if we went with one of my Universal Life Church friends, but we really wanted a pro.

Wedding favors, wine, etc, will probably run $800 by the time all is said and done.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but I think we've budgeted about $3500 for the wedding, and it's been a real challenge to stay within it. It seems like if you put the word "wedding" on anything, it immediately jacks the price up tenfold. For instance, a "wedding" guest book was $50.00 at the last place we looked. And it was just lined note paper in a hardback book..you could buy a 'journal' that was the same size and shape and composition at a bookstore for about $2.50. Heh.


We have another $3500 budgeted for a week in ireland for a honeymoon.

I'm a ULC friend but I do this stuff, my father was a full time Reverend for some years so I'm familiar with the sermons. Don't rule out ULC just because it's ULC. Tin of course probably knows whether or not his friends are experienced at all.

Twitch said:

I'm a ULC friend but I do this stuff, my father was a full time Reverend for some years so I'm familiar with the sermons. Don't rule out ULC just because it's ULC. Tin of course probably knows whether or not his friends are experienced at all.

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Yeah, I wasn't putting down the ULC..in fact, I've performed two weddings myself as a minister of the ULC.

We just wanted someone with more experience than my friends had, was what I was saying.

escushion said:

Cut the alcohol, saves almost a grand, eh?

I'm also taking advice, so Mind isn't the only one benefiting here .

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Depends. I have friends who held their reception at a local hotel. There was a cost associated with having a 'dry' wedding. Logic was that was how the hotel made it's money. Remove alcohol, and you remove most of the hotel's revenue. Hence, an extra cost.

Skip the wedding alltogether, massive savings $$$$

Rob King;273001][quote=escushion said:

Cut the alcohol, saves almost a grand, eh?

I'm also taking advice, so Mind isn't the only one benefiting here .

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Depends. I have friends who held their reception at a local hotel. There was a cost associated with having a 'dry' wedding. Logic was that was how the hotel made it's money. Remove alcohol, and you remove most of the hotel's revenue. Hence, an extra cost.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't recommend having a cash bar, if there's any way you could avoid it. It's tacky and low-class to invite someone to a wedding and then ask that they pay for their own drinks.

HowDroll;273028][quote=Rob King;273001][quote=escushion said:

Cut the alcohol, saves almost a grand, eh?

I'm also taking advice, so Mind isn't the only one benefiting here .

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Depends. I have friends who held their reception at a local hotel. There was a cost associated with having a 'dry' wedding. Logic was that was how the hotel made it's money. Remove alcohol, and you remove most of the hotel's revenue. Hence, an extra cost.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't recommend having a cash bar, if there's any way you could avoid it. It's tacky and low-class to invite someone to a wedding and then ask that they pay for their own drinks.[/QUOTE]
Personally, I think a marriage shouldn't be legally valid unless there is an open bar. A wedding is about two families coming together, and we all know that isn't happening without a good amount of alcoholic lubrication.

HowDroll;273028][quote=Rob King;273001][quote=escushion said:

Cut the alcohol, saves almost a grand, eh?

I'm also taking advice, so Mind isn't the only one benefiting here .

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Depends. I have friends who held their reception at a local hotel. There was a cost associated with having a 'dry' wedding. Logic was that was how the hotel made it's money. Remove alcohol, and you remove most of the hotel's revenue. Hence, an extra cost.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't recommend having a cash bar, if there's any way you could avoid it. It's tacky and low-class to invite someone to a wedding and then ask that they pay for their own drinks.[/QUOTE]

An open cocktail hour would work, I think. Then have wine, beer, and non-alcoholic beverages for the reception dinner.

HowDroll said:

I wouldn't recommend having a cash bar, if there's any way you could avoid it. It's tacky and low-class to invite someone to a wedding and then ask that they pay for their own drinks.

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*snort*

No, no it is not "tacky and low-class" for people to pay their own drinks. They're getting a free meal out of the deal - the least they could do is pay a dollar or toonie bar to help recover some of the costs. Plus when you consider 20% of the people drink 80% of the alcohol, maybe Great Auntie Fern shouldn't be subsidizing crazy uncle Peter's alcoholism.

Alcohol can easily be the highest cost to a wedding if it's a completely open bar. Thus far, I've only been to one wedding out of 10 that has been an open bar - and that was my own wedding - at which I didn't drink.

If you are insistent on an open bar, buy beer, wine and coolers. That's it. Makes it 'cheaper'. You can't sell back opened rum, but you can sell back half-flats of beer.

http://www.foreverwed.com/articles/alcohol/cashopenbar.html

In years past it was considered inappropriate to expect your guests to pay for any part of your wedding festivities. However, today, cash bars are common at receptions. Most couples are concerned about the liability associated with an open bar, not to mention the cost. When guests purchase their own alcohol, they usually drink less and they stop sooner. They also incur the liability for their actions, not you. Liability issues are not limited to automobile accidents. If one of your guests drinks too much and gets into a fight with another guest, you can be liable if you furnished the alcohol.

If you decide to have an open bar, you can limit the time that alcohol is available (such as for two hours only) and you can limit it to beer and wine. You and your fiancé should decide together how much you want to spend on the bar, if anything.

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Tinwhistler said:

http://www.foreverwed.com/articles/alcohol/cashopenbar.html

In years past it was considered inappropriate to expect your guests to pay for any part of your wedding festivities. However, today, cash bars are common at receptions. Most couples are concerned about the liability associated with an open bar, not to mention the cost. When guests purchase their own alcohol, they usually drink less and they stop sooner. They also incur the liability for their actions, not you. Liability issues are not limited to automobile accidents. If one of your guests drinks too much and gets into a fight with another guest, you can be liable if you furnished the alcohol.

If you decide to have an open bar, you can limit the time that alcohol is available (such as for two hours only) and you can limit it to beer and wine. You and your fiancé should decide together how much you want to spend on the bar, if anything.

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And then there's that side of it too. Not to mention the liquor license you need to buy, the bartenders time you need to pay for and the local bylaws around selling/giving away liquor.

Plus party crashers popping in for some free booze.

I've never been to a wedding (even very inexpensive ones) that didn't have an open bar. I also think it is tacky to have people pay for a drinks at a wedding. Ways to limit booze costs include making it a wine and beer bar only, or for more fun you can have one or two "special" cocktails -- ones you choose or even invent yourself -- as an option. "Open bar" doesn't have to mean a full-on deal with all premium booze by any means, but I have to agree with HowDroll here.

While you probably don't want to pay for a wedding planner, see if you can find a friend (or a bridesmaid, but only if she really wants to do it) to be the "day of" coordinator. Someone who handles all the little details so that you and your bride don't have to worry about them on that day.

Must be a regional thing.

Adammon;273034][quote=HowDroll said:

I wouldn't recommend having a cash bar, if there's any way you could avoid it. It's tacky and low-class to invite someone to a wedding and then ask that they pay for their own drinks.

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*snort*

No, no it is not "tacky and low-class" for people to pay their own drinks. They're getting a free meal out of the deal - the least they could do is pay a dollar or toonie bar to help recover some of the costs. Plus when you consider 20% of the people drink 80% of the alcohol, maybe Great Auntie Fern shouldn't be subsidizing crazy uncle Peter's alcoholism.

Alcohol can easily be the highest cost to a wedding if it's a completely open bar. Thus far, I've only been to one wedding out of 10 that has been an open bar - and that was my own wedding - at which I didn't drink.

If you are insistent on an open bar, buy beer, wine and coolers. That's it. Makes it 'cheaper'. You can't sell back opened rum, but you can sell back half-flats of beer.[/QUOTE]

Out of the "deal"? Please. They're giving up their time and often spending a great deal of money to be there for someone's nupitals--when you count travel expenses and presents, they're coming out way behind for a "free meal," and that's completely ignoring guests who incur common expenses such as hotels/clothing/babysitters/etc. For a free meal? I think they're getting the short end of the stick, if you look at it that way.

HowDroll;273052][quote=Adammon;273034][quote=HowDroll said:

I wouldn't recommend having a cash bar, if there's any way you could avoid it. It's tacky and low-class to invite someone to a wedding and then ask that they pay for their own drinks.

Click to expand...

*snort*

No, no it is not "tacky and low-class" for people to pay their own drinks. They're getting a free meal out of the deal - the least they could do is pay a dollar or toonie bar to help recover some of the costs. Plus when you consider 20% of the people drink 80% of the alcohol, maybe Great Auntie Fern shouldn't be subsidizing crazy uncle Peter's alcoholism.

Alcohol can easily be the highest cost to a wedding if it's a completely open bar. Thus far, I've only been to one wedding out of 10 that has been an open bar - and that was my own wedding - at which I didn't drink.

If you are insistent on an open bar, buy beer, wine and coolers. That's it. Makes it 'cheaper'. You can't sell back opened rum, but you can sell back half-flats of beer.[/quote]

Out of the "deal"? Please. They're giving up their time and often spending a great deal of money to be there for someone's nupitals--when you count travel expenses and presents, they're coming out way behind for a "free meal," and that's completely ignoring guests who incur common expenses such as hotels/clothing/babysitters/etc. For a free meal? I think they're getting the short end of the stick, if you look at it that way.[/QUOTE]

I don't have a problem with an open bar but it seems to me that you're saying that the guests (i.e. your loved ones) are coming to get something out of it rather than coming to celebrate your wedding day and provide a helping hand to the new couple (therefore the gifts, traditionally to get the happy couple started on their new life). If you were to put it terms of a thank you to the guests coming, I could maybe agree but your phrasing implies more of a trade, which I don't think is, or should be, the point.

HowDroll said:

Out of the "deal"? Please. They're giving up their time and often spending a great deal of money to be there for someone's nupitals--when you count travel expenses and presents, they're coming out way behind for a "free meal," and that's completely ignoring guests who incur common expenses such as hotels/clothing/babysitters/etc. For a free meal? I think they're getting the short end of the stick, if you look at it that way.

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It's tacky of the bride and groom to not pay for everyone's entire way there too then, I suppose.

Adammon;273057][quote=HowDroll said:

Out of the "deal"? Please. They're giving up their time and often spending a great deal of money to be there for someone's nupitals--when you count travel expenses and presents, they're coming out way behind for a "free meal," and that's completely ignoring guests who incur common expenses such as hotels/clothing/babysitters/etc. For a free meal? I think they're getting the short end of the stick, if you look at it that way.

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It's tacky of the bride and groom to not pay for everyone's entire way there too then, I suppose.[/QUOTE]


Don't forget low class.

One thing I can tell you is that my sister saved a LOT of money be doing 2 things:

1. There were very few professional photos taken. Most of them were done with those little white disposable cameras, and they're AWESOME. Obviously, there were some family photos.

2. As a "wedding gift," my cousin's mother in law filmed the wedding and reception for free (if you know anyone who wouldn't mind making this their gift, it would probably help you out if you wanted a video).

3. Very few flowers. There were little bouquets, mostly made with herbs. No flower decorations--just home made centerpieces with floating candles in glass bowls. Most of that stuff was bought at dollar stores and Big Lots.

That's all I've got since I've never gone through it myself. But good luck to you my friend. Seems to be a lot of good advice in here.

We had a lot of help (not money, but people pitching in and helping with lots of stuff), so we got our down to about 1500 for the wedding and about 500 for the grooms dinner (Which was the real party). No alcohol for us (none of her family would have shown up), or rather none that was "obvious".

The important thing to remember is that your wedding is an important day, BUT it's not worth going into debt over. People are there to celebrate with you guys and see you off on your new life together, not to have you spend all your money on them.

You can still have a really nice, classy wedding for a reasonable amount of money.

And congratulations man.

About the cash bar thing---Jake's brother and his wife had beer and wine for free. If you wanted anything harder than bud light, merlot, or pinot grigio, you had to pay for it. No drink was more than 5 bucks. I don't consider that tacky. Liquor's expensive, and no one's begging you to drink it. Plus, his wife was a barista at the time, and for a discount, she had another barista come and make blended coffees. So that was cool.

The reception was gorgeous and really classy. Most drinks were free, plus there was free gourmet coffee. No one was fussing over paying 3 bucks for that jack and coke they just had to have.

Adammon;273057][quote=HowDroll said:

Out of the "deal"? Please. They're giving up their time and often spending a great deal of money to be there for someone's nupitals--when you count travel expenses and presents, they're coming out way behind for a "free meal," and that's completely ignoring guests who incur common expenses such as hotels/clothing/babysitters/etc. For a free meal? I think they're getting the short end of the stick, if you look at it that way.

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It's tacky of the bride and groom to not pay for everyone's entire way there too then, I suppose.[/QUOTE]



Would you invite someone to a party at your home, put out drinks, and then if they go for a beer ask them to cough up some money to "recover some of the costs"? Because it's the exact same thing. When you invite people to a party, whether it be a birthday party or a wedding reception, you take on the responsibility of playing host and everything that comes with it.

What about parties that are specified as BYOB?

Again, the main thing is that it's about two people starting their life together. If they can't afford to have an open bar and want to have liquor available I hardly see how that is tacky or low class to let people decide if they want to pay for it or not. Now, yes, if you can afford to spend 10's of thousands on your wedding, come on, dish it out people, but if you can't... it's one day, save the money for your honey moon

You know, one other interesting thing, I've been to many weddings and honestly? The weddings that cost tens of thousands (and up)? My least favorite. They feel like they are more about showing off money than about two people's love for each other.

Espy said:

it's one day, save the money for your honey moon

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Amen, son. Amen. We'll probably never get to travel much, but for my honeymoon, damned if we're not going on a long and romantic whirlwind adventure, dangit!

Cajungal;273130][quote=Espy said:

it's one day, save the money for your honey moon

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Amen, son. Amen. We'll probably never get to travel much, but for my honeymoon, damned if we're not going on a long and romantic whirlwind adventure, dangit![/QUOTE]

Hell to the yeah.

HowDroll said:

Would you invite someone to a party at your home, put out drinks, and then if they go for a beer ask them to cough up some money to "recover some of the costs"? Because it's the exact same thing. When you invite people to a party, whether it be a birthday party or a wedding reception, you take on the responsibility of playing host and everything that comes with it.

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Yes, because the purpose of a wedding and reception is to go drink . It's pretty easy to put "Toonie Bar" on invites. How tacky!

Paying a stipend for drinks isn't there to make money, it's to keep control on over-indulgence.

mr_thehun said:

My wedding didn't have a bar for religious reasons. It still cost us around $10,000 (of course we got back the money in cash gifts, Chinese red envelopes)... I feel embarrassed now.

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Pff, don't be embarrassed. You spend money on things that are important to you. If you can do it without going into debt... well, good on you

Adammon;273140][quote=HowDroll said:

Would you invite someone to a party at your home, put out drinks, and then if they go for a beer ask them to cough up some money to "recover some of the costs"? Because it's the exact same thing. When you invite people to a party, whether it be a birthday party or a wedding reception, you take on the responsibility of playing host and everything that comes with it.

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Yes, because the purpose of a wedding and reception is to go drink . It's pretty easy to put "Toonie Bar" on invites. How tacky!

Paying a stipend for drinks isn't there to make money, it's to keep control on over-indulgence.[/QUOTE]

I had an open bar and I (along with my bartender) found it a lot easier to control over-indulgence. A less reputable bartender might keep giving that crazy aunt drinks because she's a paying customer. An open bar has no incentive to keep dishing out drinks since they get paid the same.

And I agree with Droll and Zen. If you can't afford alcohol, then don't have it. That's what happens when you host. You absorb the cost of the event. If you can't afford the food would you pass that along to the guests? The DJ/entertainment?

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Even if I didn't want it I had to have an open bar. My location can't get a permit necessary to have a cash bar. But there are easy ways to save on the alcohol. As people have already said, have minimal selections. We had a few beers, 2 wines, and 4ish cocktails. If you can buy your own and have the bartender use it. That way at the end of the night you get to keep it. We had the bartender go to Costco for us and he left everything in a few boxes for us to take home. All of it was used.

Another way to save is to find a place that IS the decoration. We had a tiny decoration bill because the place we chose had a wonderful garden and lights in the trees. We went minimalist on it because it was already nice to look at.

When you can, try to buy or make the things yourself. We made a dessert so our cake bill was half. Things like that.

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Espy;273141][quote=mr_thehun said:

My wedding didn't have a bar for religious reasons. It still cost us around $10,000 (of course we got back the money in cash gifts, Chinese red envelopes)... I feel embarrassed now.

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Pff, don't be embarrassed. You spend money on things that are important to you. If you can do it without going into debt... well, good on you [/QUOTE]

Yes to this. Mine was around that cost. Some communities are just more expensive than others. Weddings are a big cultural deal here. Because of that people charge a lot. You shouldn't be embarrassed for getting married. There are far worse things to spend your money on.

-Her mother runs a bridal shop.
-Her father is licensed to be an officiant.
-Her youngest sister sang.
-Her other sister's husband is a professional photographer.
-I typeset the invitations and made the maps myself.
-She assembled all the invitations by hand.
-Her dress was ordered and imported from India (a lehenga choli).
-My tuxedo was the same one I was required to wear as my choir uniform
(purchased at wholesale discount thanks to #1 above)
-Rehearsal and wedding were held the same day.
-We put an original 1GB iPod Shuffle through my studio monitors to provide the reception music.
-We held the reception at an awesome bed and breakfast.
-We invited a total of about 25 people. They all came.
-The reception was a 5-course ordeal with a different beer matched for each course*.
-Any guests who did not want to drive home after stuffing themselves with 5 courses of great food and beer were invited to stay in one of the Inn's 10 rooms.

Total cost? Somewhere between $4000 and $5000 (we're not sure exactly how much her family covered).

--Patrick

*Menu and pairings available on request.

rabbitgod said:

[/COLOR]

Espy;273141][quote=mr_thehun said:

My wedding didn't have a bar for religious reasons. It still cost us around $10,000 (of course we got back the money in cash gifts, Chinese red envelopes)... I feel embarrassed now.

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Pff, don't be embarrassed. You spend money on things that are important to you. If you can do it without going into debt... well, good on you

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Yes to this. Mine was around that cost. Some communities are just more expensive than others. Weddings are a big cultural deal here. Because of that people charge a lot. You shouldn't be embarrassed for getting married. There are far worse things to spend your money on.[/QUOTE]
The only thing is, I know many couples that for whatever reason, tradition, what folks in the region of the country expect, keeping up with the Joneses, etc, have gone into major credit card debt for their wedding.
It's not worth it. In NO way is it worth that.

Espy;273157][quote=rabbitgod said:

[/COLOR]

Espy;273141][quote=mr_thehun said:

My wedding didn't have a bar for religious reasons. It still cost us around $10,000 (of course we got back the money in cash gifts, Chinese red envelopes)... I feel embarrassed now.

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Pff, don't be embarrassed. You spend money on things that are important to you. If you can do it without going into debt... well, good on you

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Yes to this. Mine was around that cost. Some communities are just more expensive than others. Weddings are a big cultural deal here. Because of that people charge a lot. You shouldn't be embarrassed for getting married. There are far worse things to spend your money on.[/QUOTE]
The only thing is, I know many couples that for whatever reason, tradition, what folks in the region of the country expect, keeping up with the Joneses, etc, have gone into major credit card debt for their wedding.
It's not worth it. In NO way is it worth that.[/QUOTE]

Agreed. You should have the wedding you want. My in-laws paid for some of the wedding because they wanted to keep up with the Jones' and it's something I just had to shake my head at. A wedding should be make you happy. Costly or not.

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Also we had a Harpist. I'm not sure where that came from, but it was pretty nice.

rabbitgod said:

Also we had a Harpist. I'm not sure where that came from, but it was pretty nice.

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We had a "Björk". She had to be fed but she really rocked that wedding march.

I can actually only remember having been to one wedding where there's been a bar at all. Most of the people I've been close with enough to be invited to their wedding have abstained for religious reasons, or because there would be enough people who would oppose it on religious grounds that it wasn't worth the fight of having one.

The one that had a bar ... well, the groom came from a family that did not abstain for religious reasons. I don't think I would be exaggerating to say that if there had been no alcohol, his family might not have shown up at all (even though it was in his hometown.)

So much abstaining; I didn't know we had so many Muslims. Every Christian wedding I've been to had a few people liquored up by the end.

wait... there suppose to be a ceremony??!!??!!?

J/K We got married via JP (Justice of the Peace for those who don't know) and spend most of the money on our 10 day Mediterranean cruise for our Honeymoon it was awesome.

i've never been to a wedding without an open bar in my life. that must be at least 10 ceremonies.

We love our booze in Belgium

Chibibar said:

wait... there suppose to be a ceremony??!!??!!?

J/K We got married via JP (Justice of the Peace for those who don't know) and spend most of the money on our 10 day Mediterranean cruise for our Honeymoon it was awesome.

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There's so many smart people here too.

Total cost for rehearsal, wedding and reception were somewhere between 4-5k. No bar at reception, neither of us were "of age" anyway (yeah, we were married at 19, been almost 21 years now...). She found her dress during one of the "last year model" sales, about 1/4 of original cost and it was the one that she wanted from the beginning. Rehearsal dinner was done by my mother and a couple of friends, spaghetti and the trimmings for everyone. Reception was what most local receptions are, light snacks, cake, punch and meet & greet (I didn't even get a bite of my chocolate grooms cake). Photag for wedding/reception was a church friend that gave us a break on cost, and she's still using pictures from our wedding to show what can be done. Minister was our pastor, groomsmen rented their own tuxes, bridesmaids helped in making their own dresses (another family friend is a seamstress that also used the time to teach the girls about basic sewing).

Do what makes you happy, avoid debt if at all possible (you don't need to start in the hole) and have fun with it all and enjoy each other. If others have a problem with what you choose to do, they were only looking out for themselves and not what would make YOU happy.

"My wedding was $1500." "My wedding was $3000."

Damn. That's amazingly low-cost. Well done. We've been planning ours for a month and so far it looks like our end total will be around $20,000.

On the topic of open bar, I have to say that if you are going to have booze, you should make it free. Guests appreciate a good meal, open bar, and good music more than flowers or decorations or fancy invitations.

Looking at how much some people spent here is... amazing.

I know the high costs are mostly the norm, but my wife and I didn't have a lot of money and were not going to spend a lot on the wedding.

Invitations - $50

We bought a template and printed them out ourselves.

Locations - Free

When we got married we had the ceremony at a small church overlooking a large area of southern Austin. As long as you reserve the spot, you can use it free of charge. As for the reception, my wife worked for a photographer that rented a plantation house that was once used for wedding receptions. She let us use the property for free. The nice thing about that was...

Photographs - Free

As my wife's boss was at the wedding anyways, she took all the pictures and gave the negatives to my wife.

Dress - $190, Suit -$200

We decided we didn't need fancy outfits, so she got a small but fancy wedding dress and I just bought a re-usable suit. My old suit was getting kind of old anyways.

Music - $150

Rather then having a DJ we decided to have a full band play. The band a friend of our family, so they gave us a discount on what the would normally charge.

Decorations - $50

My wife and her friends bought a bunch of cheap items like blue christmas lights and other small ornaments with some string, and hung them from the trees at the reception location a few days before hand.

Food and Drinks - $400, Cake - Free

We had limited drinks, and ended up just having a BBQ joint in town cater for us for a good 50 people. The cake was baked by a co-worker of mine, who did it as a wedding gift to us. The goodie bag we gave guests was just M&Ms in a small little decorated bag.

Our honeymoon was another $300 that we spent out in the country for a few days. All in all between the two of us we spent a little over $1340 or so by the time we got back home.

Oddly enough, I'm the one that wanted the ceremony and reception - my wife wanted to elope. My thoughts were her parents aren't together and her family is spread all across Canada so it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get her family back together. Most of my family is in BC so it wasn't such an issue for them.

Having both of us working paid for all of the costs and our 3 weeks honeymoon in Thailand. Woo!

I have to throw in with HowDroll and ZenMonkey. I think a cash bar at a wedding is tacky. I'd rather see no alcohol at all. At the weddings I've been dragged to with a cash bar, there's very little activity at the bar anyway, so it might as well not even be there. That's totally anecdotal, of course. I agree with them for most of the same reasons.

As far as the original question goes, my mother in law paid. I hated that. She dropped probably 25000, I kid you not. We had it outdoors at a plantation (our original choice), but it was so done up by the end, that it felt like I was a guest at someone else's wedding. It was huge! I was embarrassed in the end, too, because my wife's entire extended family came in to MY HOME STATE (SC), and my own family couldn't manage to come (outside of the nuclear). The ceremony was ridiculously lopsided, and I hated that. My fucking friends who lived IN THE SAME TOWN skipped out on me.

Sorry. That's a rant I've held in for a while.

On another note, my sister just got married this weekend, coincidentally. She went completely shareware. The food AND the alcohol were potluck. And my entire family was employed. I was DJ/videographer.

Drinks are required at a wedding. If by the end of the night there aren't at least a couple people drunk off their ass then you did something wrong. The way I see it is the reception is just a big fucking party, thats it. And at least for my familty and friends then booze will help the party be more fun.

also, since we have a lot of married folks here i was just wondering. What music did you have when you were walking down the aisle? I mean i know the traditional is the here comes the bride thing, but thats so... lame. I was just thinking about it the other day and there has to be people that have done something different.

fade said:

I have to throw in with HowDroll and ZenMonkey. I think a cash bar at a wedding is tacky. I'd rather see no alcohol at all. At the weddings I've been dragged to with a cash bar, there's very little activity at the bar anyway, so it might as well not even be there. That's totally anecdotal, of course. I agree with them for most of the same reasons.

As far as the original question goes, my mother in law paid. I hated that. She dropped probably 25000, I kid you not. We had it outdoors at a plantation (our original choice), but it was so done up by the end, that it felt like I was a guest at someone else's wedding. It was huge! I was embarrassed in the end, too, because my wife's entire extended family came in to MY HOME STATE (SC), and my own family couldn't manage to come (outside of the nuclear). The ceremony was ridiculously lopsided, and I hated that. My fucking friends who lived IN THE SAME TOWN skipped out on me.

Sorry. That's a rant I've held in for a while.

On another note, my sister just got married this weekend, coincidentally. She went completely shareware. The food AND the alcohol were potluck. And my entire family was employed. I was DJ/videographer.

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Heh. Wow. that is a lot.

My friend did host a small gathering at our local restaurant. It was around 20 some odd people, it was a lot of fun. That was pretty much the reception.

As for cash bar, my wife and I did think about doing a 10 year ceremony thing so we might have a ceremony (she wanted one but didn't want to spend too much money) and alcohol did came up. Neither one of us drink so we decided that we will not have a bar at all. It is up to you, but I don't think making people pay for their alcohol is cool

jasonisgreat said:

"My wedding was $1500." "My wedding was $3000."

Damn. That's amazingly low-cost. Well done. We've been planning ours for a month and so far it looks like our end total will be around $20,000.

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6 years later we still have people tell us our dirt cheap wedding was the nicest one they have ever been too. When we ask why most people tell us because it felt like it was about celebrating the marriage, not having an extravagant show.
You can do simple and elegant. Classy doesn't always mean spending tons of cash, although I would reiterate, we got tons of help with stuff that would hav cost us money so it brought our cost down.
I think in the end it's about the atmosphere you set up for people that makes it a good wedding or a bad one.

Hey, I hear you, fade. If I was told someone was spending 25k on my wedding, I'd have to ask, "And what are you doing with the other 20,000?"

I wish we could just do a small ceremony. It's hard to exclude people though.

also, since we have a lot of married folks here i was just wondering. What music did you have when you were walking down the aisle? I mean i know the traditional is the here comes the bride thing, but thats so... lame. I was just thinking about it the other day and there has to be people that have done something different.

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Faline is planning to have a theme from Chrono Cross going, played by my violinist friend.

I know someone who had the "Wifeing" theme from Conan the Barbarian at his.

I wish mine had been simple. But my mother in law was so excited, we kind of handed the reins to her. Oops.

I'm probably a bad person to ask, because we had decided what we could afford, and her parents took a look at it and said that just wasn't going to cut it for their daughter's wedding. So, the compromise was that whatever they wanted to do was fine as long as they covered the costs. So, they did. 500 people, live band, family style food catering, 3 rounds of shots for everyone, free beer and wine and select liquors to cover the rest of the night, church, priest, photographer, videographer, flowers, dress, what have you.

I ended up paying for the honeymoon, and that's it (tux ended up being free with a package deal).

Of course, I don't want to look like I am complaining, because it was the best wedding celebration I or any of my friends have ever attended.

Silvanesti said:

also, since we have a lot of married folks here i was just wondering. What music did you have when you were walking down the aisle? I mean i know the traditional is the here comes the bride thing, but thats so... lame. I was just thinking about it the other day and there has to be people that have done something different.

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She walked down the aisle to Bjork's "Frosti", an instrumental music box song. Very wintery, very pretty.
We left to "Where the Streets Have No Name" by some weird band, youtwo or something.

escushion said:

also, since we have a lot of married folks here i was just wondering. What music did you have when you were walking down the aisle? I mean i know the traditional is the here comes the bride thing, but thats so... lame. I was just thinking about it the other day and there has to be people that have done something different.

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Faline is planning to have a theme from Chrono Cross going, played by my violinist friend.

I know someone who had the "Wifeing" theme from Conan the Barbarian at his.

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haha awesome. That would be pretty sweet.

Piotyr said:

I'm probably a bad person to ask, because we had decided what we could afford, and her parents took a look at it and said that just wasn't going to cut it for their daughter's wedding. So, the compromise was that whatever they wanted to do was fine as long as they covered the costs. So, they did. 500 people, live band, family style food catering, 3 rounds of shots for everyone, free beer and wine and select liquors to cover the rest of the night, church, priest, photographer, videographer, flowers, dress, what have you.

I ended up paying for the honeymoon, and that's it (tux ended up being free with a package deal).

Of course, I don't want to look like I am complaining, because it was the best wedding celebration I or any of my friends have ever attended.

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Hey, if that's your thing, that's fine.

I just know it's not mine. The old plan was that her grandparents were gonna pay, so I said whatever. We'd play our roles in the Christian wedding scenario neither of us gave a damn about if it made her family happy.

Well, the recession hit, they couldn't pay for it anymore, so it fell on our shoulders... yet it was still being expected for us to go along with things as before. No, I put my foot down then. If we're paying, we're doing it our way. We're still trying to work out exactly what "our way" will be, and it's starting to look like we're going to be willing to alienate people who won't be comfortable with us going full pagan... but you know what? It's our wedding and it's only happening once. And that's what we're comfortable with.

You gotta do it your way, whether that means taking full control, or handing that control to the one with the money, or whatever, so long as you're comfortable with it.

escushion;273367][quote=Piotyr said:

I'm probably a bad person to ask, because we had decided what we could afford, and her parents took a look at it and said that just wasn't going to cut it for their daughter's wedding. So, the compromise was that whatever they wanted to do was fine as long as they covered the costs. So, they did. 500 people, live band, family style food catering, 3 rounds of shots for everyone, free beer and wine and select liquors to cover the rest of the night, church, priest, photographer, videographer, flowers, dress, what have you.

I ended up paying for the honeymoon, and that's it (tux ended up being free with a package deal).

Of course, I don't want to look like I am complaining, because it was the best wedding celebration I or any of my friends have ever attended.

Click to expand...

Hey, if that's your thing, that's fine.

I just know it's not mine. The old plan was that her grandparents were gonna pay, so I said whatever. We'd play our roles in the Christian wedding scenario neither of us gave a damn about if it made her family happy.

Well, the recession hit, they couldn't pay for it anymore, so it fell on our shoulders... yet it was still being expected for us to go along with things as before. No, I put my foot down then. If we're paying, we're doing it our way. We're still trying to work out exactly what "our way" will be, and it's starting to look like we're going to be willing to alienate people who won't be comfortable with us going full pagan... but you know what? It's our wedding and it's only happening once. And that's what we're comfortable with.

You gotta do it your way, whether that means taking full control, or handing that control to the one with the money, or whatever, so long as you're comfortable with it.[/QUOTE]
I'm generally a pretty laid-back guy, and if my in-laws wanted to turn a ceremony into a party, I wasn't about to get in the way of that.

Silvanesti said:

I was just thinking about it the other day and there has to be people that have done something different.

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If you're feeling particularily ballsy, Carmina Burana (O Fortuna, Imperatrix Mundi) by Carl Orff should do it!

But I have always been a fan of Bach's chello Sonata No. 1.

I think that's what it's called.... If you want more suggestions, lemme know!!!

My brother's wedding was a shitshow of a party and a gorgeous ceremony for real cheap. Of course, they're both artists and they network with creative people, so all of the decorations, the cakes, the place, etc. etc. was all done for free of for cheap.

As for the liquor, they had an open bar. It wasn't exactly the fanciest stuff, but it was enough and it was a great time.

I should add though that their wedding wasn't exactly traditional. But I suppose that's obvious. Still, I looked fucking fantastic standing up.

One thing we did to save money was to make our own invitations. Those things are expensive. And for what? A five cent piece of cardstock and a ten cent envelope?

In a modern twist, we also e-mailed "invitations" to most of our friends, and said that if they absolutely needed to have a physical invitation we'd send one out. Nobody insisted, so that worked out pretty well too.

Rehearsal dinner was pizza (because, really, does that dinner need to be expensive too?), cake was a friend's creation, and we decorated it with some of the flowers from the ceremony (it looked pro, at least...).

Silvanesti said:

also, since we have a lot of married folks here i was just wondering. What music did you have when you were walking down the aisle? I mean i know the traditional is the here comes the bride thing, but thats so... lame. I was just thinking about it the other day and there has to be people that have done something different.

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I was going to walk down the aisle to the "Imperial March" (aka Darth Vader's theme song). The other music during the ceremony was from the LOTR movies. We were married outside on the shore of Lake Tahoe. When planning the ceremony, I was told there would be a CD player for us to use. I found out on the day of the wedding that there was no CD player unless we brought our own. I didn't have time to go buy one, so we ended up not having any music at all.

How perfect! Nature was your orchestra!!!!

And the occasional boat.

ours was about 30,000 when all was said and done. we wanted to spend less, but her parents (who are not rich by any means) wanted to do it a certain way and took out a loan against their house. i'd say though my wife and i covered about 6-8,000 of the 30,000 by the time we bought everything to make decorations and paid for the dj, 3 piece ensemble, shuttle bus to after party, minister, etc. it was 12,500 for the reception which included ridiculous amounts of quality food for 105 people, open bar, grounds for the ceremony, etc.

Math242 said:

i've never been to a wedding without an open bar in my life. that must be at least 10 ceremonies.

We love our booze in Belgium

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Add in some more. Honestly, I've never seen, been to, or heard of a wedding without an open bar; besides some of extremist muslims.


That aside, my brother's spending about €10,000 on his wedding, some friends of mine spent clsoe to €15,000, and some other friends of mine managed to keep it under €5.000.

Silvanesti said:

also, since we have a lot of married folks here i was just wondering. What music did you have when you were walking down the aisle? I mean i know the traditional is the here comes the bride thing, but thats so... lame. I was just thinking about it the other day and there has to be people that have done something different.

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That's where our Harpist came into play, I don't remember the exact piece, but she played classical. Nobody remembers that part anyway.

fade said:

I wish mine had been simple. But my mother in law was so excited, we kind of handed the reins to her. Oops.

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Yeah I was pushing for simplicity, but my mother in law didn't get the wedding she wanted, so she went a little crazy for ours. They wanted a whole traditional thing. I picked my battles and was able to come out half way. They wanted Tuxes - I wanted Suits. So I let them pick the food.

Frau Vildsoul said:

And the occasional boat.

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The location for mine was 1 block from the railroad so our ceremony was interrupted twice, the First dance once, and then twice during the dinner. I thought it was nice though.


In the end you have to make the wedding your own. We wanted to have Day of the Dead elements in our decorations. Nothing grusome just classic art. But the in laws went crazy about it. They thought it was inappropriate. My wife and I snuck some stuff in any way and guests still talk about how much they liked those things. They fit our personality. I think that's something you need in a wedding. It's a joining of two people and the union should be reflected in the vibe of the ceremony/reception.

Now that I think about it, I've only been to..... one or two weddings down here where hard liquor didn't cost a little something. Wine and beer were free, but yeah. I wouldn't blame religion at all... Catholics are the best at getting shit-faced. But it could be because of the sheer volume that southerners can put away without even getting tipsy (My "cheap drunk" gene is recessive down here ).

NVM

Oh, I never knew there was a branch called the Salvation Army. I always thought that was just some organization, not affiliated with a religion.

EDIT: And apparently while letting the page linger before Quick Reply, you erased it... For some weird reason. Didn't seem to be anything bad in it.

escushion said:

Oh, I never knew there was a branch called the Salvation Army. I always thought that was just some organization, not affiliated with a religion.

EDIT: And apparently while letting the page linger before Quick Reply, you erased it... For some weird reason. Didn't seem to be anything bad in it.

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Sorry. It just seemed way off-topic afterward, so I figured I'd go back and edit it away.

If anyone was curious, the gist of it is thus: I was raised Salvation Army, who prohibit alcohol, tobacco, recreational drugs, and gambling for it's members, which is why most of the weddings I've attended have been without alcohol. Where I live, some members are so conservative as to even prohibit dancing and card playing, although neither of those two things are expressly proscribed by the organization as a whole. (And for that matter, the 'no alcohol' bit is ignored by a good portion of the Salvation Army in Europe).

As far as the organizational structure of the Salvation Army is concerned ... it is a Christian organization, and a fully realized denomination of the church. When it comes to the work of the Salvation Army though, we don't discriminate based on race, gender, sexual preference, religion or anything else. Yes, as a Christian organization, there is some evangelizing involved, but having been involved with the Salvation Army across several countries, what has come first is the service to our fellow man, every time.

For music, I had a track from The Mission by Ennio Morricone for the processional, and the instrumental music from The Princess Bride by Mark Knopfler for me. Recessional was the 2nd movement of Beethoven's 7th (the Easter Snoopy dancing part). Also Penguin Café Orchestra while people were getting seated, and Pink Martini during the cocktail hour.

I was very serious about the music. More so than the flowers or what my bridesmaids wore.

"Das Beste" by Silbermond was the song my wife walked in to. I'd be surprised if anyone had heard of it or them, as it's a German band she's a fan of. It's a very pretty song. I have no idea what it says, but it's apparently appropriate.

Our song was "The Luckiest", by Ben Folds.

And our recessional (i think that's the one) was "The Banana King" song from Charlie the Unicorn. Why? I have no fucking clue. But it garnered plenty of "what the fuck" looks from plenty of our guests and laughs from those that got it.

I seem to remember we kept it under 5k.

We went with a photographer who was using digital equipment and was able to get him under $500 (This was a great deal, you don't want to skimp on a photographer).
Site was most expensive part, and I think that ran 2500.
Had a Harp and Dulicmer player, think that ran 500
Food/cake ran 1000
Flowers ran 500 (Wife did her own flowers/decorations, so we bought in bulk)

We had a friend perform the ceremony so that only cost us a dinner (I promised him this before I even met my wife, was happy she was in favor of it. It just so happened that my friend has converted to the LDS faith about a year before our wedding, so even though it wasn't a denomination specific wedding, her folks were pleased that we were being married by somone of the LDS faith, which smoothed one of our biggest issues out).

Ah... good Ben Folds song! I think about my boyfriend every time I hear it!

Hmm lets see, My wedding was a destination wedding (Outer Banks, North Carolina about 6hrs from my home) so that may up the costs a little since we couldnt readily rely on friends and family to chip in. In end I felt we kept most of the costs down.

$6000 for house/location (Tent/Tables/Silverware Included) for the Week (included rooms for all in the wedding party)
$3000 for Food & Servers/Bartender (We did have a open bar but we brought the costs down a ton by purchasing the liqour and having a friend brew the beer)
$500 for DJ
$300 for Official
Free - Pics (Family Friend offered to do this)

In the end including running long at the bar I think we did about 10k for a week long vacation for 15 of my closest friends and have a great party for 125+ people.

It was a headache early on and I can appreciate all those people who say "dont do it , save the money for the honeymoon" but wheres the fun in that. Enjoy your day, youll only get a few days devoted to you in a lifetime and this is one of those. Enjoy it and Congrads!

Who says that a wedding has to cost money?

Police say newlyweds robbed chapel after wedding
SEVIERVILLE, Tenn. — Police said two Campbell County newlyweds were arrested on their wedding night for burglarizing the Sevierville chapel where they were married. WATE-TV reported that Brian Dykes and Mindy McGhee were married Wednesday at the Angel’s View Wedding Chapel at the Black Bear Ridge Resort. Following the wedding, the couple rented a cabin at the resort.

According to the Sevier County Sheriff, an employee noticed the couple’s car back outside the chapel around 1 a.m. and lockbox with cash was missing.
Deputies found the couple at a restaurant, where they confessed and turned over the missing $500. They are being held in jail on bonds of $10,000.
Information from: WATE-TV, www.wate.com/

Get a live band, not a dj.

Le Quack said:

Get a live band, not a dj.

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Yeah. DJs suck and are smelly.

Silvanesti;275014][quote=Le Quack said:

Get a live band, not a dj.

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Yeah. DJs suck and are smelly. [/QUOTE]

Most of them are incredibly old too.

Vagabond;275016][quote=Silvanesti;275014][quote=Le Quack said:

Get a live band, not a dj.

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Yeah. DJs suck and are smelly. [/QUOTE]

Most of them are incredibly old too.[/QUOTE]

An amazing amount of them have flappy hooties too.

Le Quack said:

Get a live band, not a dj.

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Agreed. Live bands are > DJ's. Sorry Dave.

I'll rephrase, good bands are like a 1:5 chance you'll get a great one. Good DJ's are a 1:20 chance. We actually had both. A DJ for the reception and a band for the after party. The band was much better than the DJ. Might have been luck, but from all the weddings I've been dragged to recently by my reaching their mid to late 20's friends, I stand by my assertion that live bands are better.

---------- Post added at 09:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:13 AM ----------

...because talking about wedding music always makes me think of this.

Cajungal said:

---------- Post added at 09:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:13 AM ----------

...because talking about wedding music always makes me think of this.

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Can...a...DJ...move...like....thiiiiissssssss? <shimmies>

Well, Dave?

My wife and I married at the courthouse and threw a reception about 3 months later for everyone. that cost me $30 bucks.

The most expensive thing was renting the building we were at I can't remember it's cost now but it's around $800. it also housed a farmers market in the day before we were there and the flower vendors all gave us their bits they'd throw away normally. So we had a huge table of flowers that all we had to do was sort through and organize.

Spent maybe $100 on decorations, that my wife made each table have a fall theme with, if you do this part yourself you save tons.

I made wine and beer for the event, it cost me about $200-$250 for 2 kegs worth and about 60 bottles of wine (we had some left over )

Cousin of my wife's did the photography, and she's really good. But we also put the disposable camera's on every table and let people just take pictures. These came out the best actually because it was so random.

Music was done by a friend, who has a band. Live music is so great if you can swing it. It was free to us, just cost food.

I used to cater weddings so the food part I knew people for. I did a ton of work on it the day before and let them handle the actual event. we spent about 500 bucks on food.

We had a DJ and it was fine. He was young. It was nice to have someone to keep things organized and moving along and what not. One less thing for us to worry about, and he was great about playing all the songs we requested.

I'm pretty sure we had a cash bar, with the toast champagne or whatever free. If it means the difference between a relaxing honeymoon or one where we constantly looking in our wallets to see if we have enough money, I have no problem making a handful of people pay a few bucks for the couple of drinks they're going to have at the wedding. I guess that makes us assholes.

Our photographer was just getting into the business and needed more weddings for her portfolio, so we got her cheap. My best friend and his girlfriend video weddings all the time, so she shot the event and he edited it later and put together this great little DVD case and everything as their gift to us.

We rented our tuxes from Men's Warehouse. I don't remember exactly how much they were, but they were well under a hundred bucks. I hate when people ask you to be in the wedding and then make you spend a lot on tuxes and dresses and what not.

I'm not sure how much we spent, my wife and her family paid for everything, but I don't think it was more than 3-4k, and we had an awesome wedding at the Dallas World Aquarium.

Alex B. said:

We had a DJ and it was fine. He was young. It was nice to have someone to keep things organized and moving along and what not. One less thing for us to worry about, and he was great about playing all the songs we requested.

I'm pretty sure we had a cash bar, with the toast champagne or whatever free. If it means the difference between a relaxing honeymoon or one where we constantly looking in our wallets to see if we have enough money, I have no problem making a handful of people pay a few bucks for the couple of drinks they're going to have at the wedding. I guess that makes us assholes.

Our photographer was just getting into the business and needed more weddings for her portfolio, so we got her cheap. My best friend and his girlfriend video weddings all the time, so she shot the event and he edited it later and put together this great little DVD case and everything as their gift to us.

We rented our tuxes from Men's Warehouse. I don't remember exactly how much they were, but they were well under a hundred bucks. I hate when people ask you to be in the wedding and then make you spend a lot on tuxes and dresses and what not.

I'm not sure how much we spent, my wife and her family paid for everything, but I don't think it was more than 3-4k, and we had an awesome wedding at the Dallas World Aquarium.

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No, it doesn't make you assholes. It's your wedding; do what you like. To counter though, it is a nice gesture to offer free bar to your guests. I know that alcohol was an important feature at my own wedding. I personally enjoy myself more when my guests are having a good time.