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Happy 4th of July!

Jul 3, 2014#1

strawman

Here are previous efforts at fourth of July threads:

https://www.halforums.com/threads/happy-4th-of-july.25812/
https://www.halforums.com/threads/happy-4th.25816/

Since we export Americanism worldwide, and it's now the Fourth of July in many places here's the thread where you can celebrate our independence. Please note that the NSA is watching, and a terrorist record will be created for each person that doesn't publicly celebrate American Exceptionalism today.

Jul 3, 2014#2

Ravenpoe

NSFW language

Jul 3, 2014#3

evilmike

I imagine this is relevant:

How to cook bacon with a machine gun.

Jul 3, 2014#4

PatrThom

Mmm…tasty, tasty broken images.

--Patrick

Jul 3, 2014#5

evilmike

PatrThom said:
Mmm…tasty, tasty broken images.

--Patrick

Weird. I checked the post in different browser and the images still worked. Anyway, it should be fixed now.

Jul 3, 2014#6

sixpackshaker

Using a Kraut gun to cook bacon is not too Murican.[DOUBLEPOST=1404412073,1404412043][/DOUBLEPOST]Happy Fourth Y'all.

Jul 3, 2014#7

Fun Size

Ever since the full legalization of fireworks in our neck of the woods (freedom!), I think of this as "annual walk around the house every 20 minutes to see if an idiot neighbor set it on fire until 2 AM" day.

Which, when I stop to think about it, is pretty American.

Jul 3, 2014#8

WasabiPoptart

Jul 3, 2014#9

sixpackshaker

How many 100 year old houses have a HOA?

Jul 3, 2014#10

WasabiPoptart

sixpackshaker said:
How many 100 year old houses have a HOA?

This is 'murica! The caption doesn't need to be accurate. It's patriotic! USA!

Jul 3, 2014#11

strawman

sixpackshaker said:
How many 100 year old houses have a HOA?

You might be surprised how many people are convinced to voluntarily enter an HOA, and, like a virus, infect the house forever after with it.

Jul 3, 2014#12

WasabiPoptart

Jul 3, 2014#13

PatrThom

stienman said:
You might be surprised how many people are convinced to voluntarily enter an HOA, and, like a virus, infect the house forever after with it.

Remember, kids. A contract is a contract, even if you change your mind about it later.

--Patrick

Jul 3, 2014#14

jwhouk

My country, 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing
Land where my fathers died
Land of the pilgrim's pride
From every mountainside
Let freedom RING.

Jul 3, 2014#15

PatrThom

jwhouk said:
My country, 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing
Land where my fathers died
Land of the pilgrim's pride
From every mountainside
Let freedom RING.

British music? Really?

--Patrick

Jul 3, 2014#16

Jax

http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2013/07/04/4th-of-july-humor.htm

Jul 3, 2014#17

Dei

Obligatory Muppets repost

Jul 3, 2014#18

sixpackshaker

Jul 3, 2014#19

BErt

PatrThom said:
British music? Really?

--Patrick

Reappropriating something for our own gain is the MOST American.

Happy fourth errybody

Jul 3, 2014#20

HCGLNS

Happy Birthday!

Jul 3, 2014#21

Telephius

Happy Canada's pants day

Jul 3, 2014#22

jwhouk

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.

---

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

-----
"Just in case anyone forgot..."

Jul 3, 2014#23

WasabiPoptart

In the meantime...

Jul 4, 2014#24

Dei

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/america-fuck-yeah?bffb&s=mobile

Jul 4, 2014#25

General Specific

jwhouk said:
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.

---

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

-----
"Just in case anyone forgot..."

Too American, didn't read.

Jul 4, 2014#26

Charlie Don't Surf

There are only two things I like about today:

1) The hot dog eating contest
2)

Jul 4, 2014#27

bhamv3

Will Smith punching out an alien is one of the best moments in cinema. Ever.

Jul 4, 2014#28

Ravenpoe

bhamv3 said:
Will Smith punching out an alien is one of the best moments in cinema. Ever.

Welcome to EARF!

It's too bad After Earf was so terrible.

Jul 4, 2014#29

Frank

Hullo Amerika, happy birthday!

I know this is a song by some crazy East Germans mocking America, but it's catchy as hell and I don't mean it as a dig to your country.

Jul 4, 2014#30

blotsfan

Hot dog eating contest is lame ever since they stopped letting Kobiyashi compete.

Jul 4, 2014#31

ThatNickGuy

Language warning for you whiner babies out there.

Jul 4, 2014#32

blotsfan

Wait, do they really turn on the lights by flipping the switch down?

Jul 4, 2014#33

Ravenpoe

blotsfan said:
Wait, do they really turn on the lights by flipping the switch down?

No, it can't be... that's madness.

Jul 4, 2014#34

strawman

Ravenpoe said:
No, it can't be... that's madness.

It makes a lot of sense. If you're dying, it's a lot easier to hit the switch down as you fall to the floor than up, and if you have to die alone, at least you won't die in the dark.[DOUBLEPOST=1404485438,1404485327][/DOUBLEPOST]http://ux.stackexchange.com/questions/36207/which-way-should-be-on-for-a-switch

Jul 4, 2014#35

PatrThom

blotsfan said:
Wait, do they really turn on the lights by flipping the switch down?

It's apparently more widespread than you'd think. Some of the switches in my house are mounted that way, and then there's this:
Watch carefully...

--Patrick

Jul 4, 2014#36

filmfanatic

Jul 4, 2014#37

phil

Jul 4, 2014#38

Bubble181

Happy fourth, guys. I'll be there in a week (the 11th is our holiday). Enjoy.

Jul 4, 2014#39

Dei

Jul 4, 2014#40

WasabiPoptart

I did something similar to this with my toenails today. Mine have dots for stars and I alternated red & white on my other toes instead of stripes (spoilered for people who hate feet).

Jul 4, 2014#41

PatrThom

WasabiPoptart said:
(spoilered for people who hate feet)

Who hates feet? Is this a Thing?
Well, I suppose if people can hate the word "moist," there's people who could hate feet.

Moist feet. Heh.

--Patrick

Jul 4, 2014#42

Hailey Knight

PatrThom said:
Who hates feet? Is this a Thing?

Cajungal. It came up in a post years ago; I'm surprised anyone remembers.

Jul 4, 2014#43

HCGLNS

Jul 4, 2014#44

fade

Happy birthday to my daughter.

Jul 4, 2014#45

WasabiPoptart

Zero Esc said:
Cajungal. It came up in a post years ago; I'm surprised anyone remembers.

I didn't remember who it was specifically. I thought it was more than one person, too. No matter. I didn't want to give anyone squicky feelings in this most awesome of threads.[DOUBLEPOST=1404508653,1404508536][/DOUBLEPOST]

fade said:
Happy birthday to my daughter.

Happy Birthday to her!!

Jul 4, 2014#46

Cajungal

Haha, @Zero Esc yes it's me! @WasabiPoptart I admire your patience. I could never pull that off in a million years!

Jul 4, 2014#47

WasabiPoptart

Patience was trying to do Lily's toes the same way. Needless to say the white dots on the blue background came out more like fireworks. She's happy and that's all that counts.

Jul 4, 2014#48

BErt

Yup, I agree with this

Jul 6, 2014#49

HCGLNS

Jul 6, 2014#50

blotsfan

So...no Clint Eastwood in that video?

Jul 7, 2014#51

Covar

My contribution to this thread, the entirety 1987 G.I. Joe animated movie.

Jul 7, 2014#52

PatrThom

Covar said:
My contribution to this thread, the entirety 1987 G.I. Joe animated movie.

Hey now, I still have that on VHS. Found it for a buck at a garage sale about 10 years ago, or something.
Sooo cheesy, and soooooo full of plot holes. Sooooooooo 80's.

--Patrick

Jul 7, 2014#53

Cog

I find odd that you wish yourselves a "happy independence day". That doesn't happen here. No one here celebrates our independence day. Most people get the day off but for someone like me who works for the local government, this is a day full of political ceremonies that I have to attend.

Jul 7, 2014#54

Celt Z

This has remained my favorite 4th of July comic for 14 years. I remember it every 4th. Thank you, Bobbins archive!

Jul 7, 2014#55

jwhouk

Hey, their king started it.

Jul 7, 2014#56

Dave

I spent the 4th sitting at my in-laws house watching hours of DIY programming on TV. My MIL is ill so they couldn't go out. So we spent the entire weekend in the house watching amazingly bad TV. Worst part is that he had no internet access so I had nothing to do. At ALL!

Actually, I could have had internet access, but my FIL refuses to give out his wireless password. He's an old Army intelligence guy who is absolutely paranoid about his computer security. I've tried to discuss it with him and all he'll say is, "I could tell you stories." But he never does.

Jul 7, 2014#57

GasBandit

Jeez, look at those hands. What is she, a dinosaur hybrid?

Jul 7, 2014#58

CrimsonSoul

Dave said:
I spent the 4th sitting at my in-laws house watching hours of DIY programming on TV. My MIL is ill so they couldn't go out. So we spent the entire weekend in the house watching amazingly bad TV. Worst part is that he had no internet access so I had nothing to do. At ALL!

Actually, I could have had internet access, but my FIL refuses to give out his wireless password. He's an old Army intelligence guy who is absolutely paranoid about his computer security. I've tried to discuss it with him and all he'll say is, "I could tell you stories." But he never does.

Bring a hammer with you the next time you're over and ask for the wi-fi password when he refuses place the hammer on the table and say "ve have vays of making you talk Mr. Lastnamehere"

Jul 7, 2014#59

Dave

Yeah, I might be able to take him now. Few years ago he'd have beaten me to death with it.

Jul 7, 2014#60

General Specific

I forgot to post the fireworks

Jul 8, 2014#61

Frank

Covar said:
My contribution to this thread, the entirety 1987 G.I. Joe animated movie.

Wanna have your asshole blown inside out with despair? Watch the UK intro.

Just spine tinglingly dreadful.

Jul 8, 2014#62

bhamv3

Frank said:
Wanna have your asshole blown inside out with despair? Watch the UK intro.

Just spine tinglingly dreadful.

... I refuse to believe that's real.

Jul 8, 2014#63

sixpackshaker

It looks almost as bad as GI Joe.

Jul 8, 2014#64

PatrThom

"Action Force?" What kind of a name is that?

--Patrick

Jul 8, 2014#65

GasBandit

The "International Heroes" still plant the American flag. Talk about lazy. Though I guess it could be explained by saying "that particular battle was on American soil (The statue of liberty)."

Jul 8, 2014#66

sixpackshaker

When see the sailor, I still think it is Shoreleave.

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