He likes to pinch.
- Thread starter LittleSin
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I'm a big fan of behavior replacement. A slap and "ow!" is a good start. I would follow that up by having him kiss the spot he pinched, or at least rub it for you (though you open yourself to more pinching this way!). If you can teach him a different behavior to replace the undesired one, it should help stop things a little sooner.
Cajungal
Staff member
My mom did the ol' "See how that feels???"
My brother had a biting problem. He bit everyone and just laughed about it, even if we told him not to. So one day, mom grabbed his arm and bit it--not really hard, but enough to give him a little pinch. He cried and cried, and she said,
"Did you like that?"
And he wailed, "NOOOOOOO!"
"Gonna do that to someone again???"
"NOOOOO!"
My brother had a biting problem. He bit everyone and just laughed about it, even if we told him not to. So one day, mom grabbed his arm and bit it--not really hard, but enough to give him a little pinch. He cried and cried, and she said,
"Did you like that?"
And he wailed, "NOOOOOOO!"
"Gonna do that to someone again???"
"NOOOOO!"
C
Chazwozel
That's what I do.
Except when they poke at your eyes. Then the slap on the hand method works fine.
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Wasabi Poptart
I liked the three strikes rule. First time, he would get told not to do it in a firm, loud voice (NO PINCHING!) while moving his hand away. Second time, it's a smack while being told not to pinch again. Third time, he gets a smack and put in the crib for 1 minute (no toys or any comfort items in the crib, if they are in there take them out before you put him in or else it's just playtime and not punishment). Our pediatrician told us it's one minute for every year of age. That worked well for my son.
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Wasabi Poptart
I want to add that no matter what method you use, be consistent. It can't be ignored a few times and then disciplined for in the next few times. It has to be every time he pinches that he gets a consequence or else no matter what you do it will not work.
I also think you need to catch him right before he pinches you and then tell him no. If you say no right after he pinches, well, he's already done what he wants and it hasn't been stopped. When my son tried to bite me, I caught him just as he was going for my arm. I had my hand under his chin, turned his face up to mine and told him that he would not bite me. He never tried it again.
I also think you need to catch him right before he pinches you and then tell him no. If you say no right after he pinches, well, he's already done what he wants and it hasn't been stopped. When my son tried to bite me, I caught him just as he was going for my arm. I had my hand under his chin, turned his face up to mine and told him that he would not bite me. He never tried it again.
Cajungal
Staff member
I second that. I'm not a mom, but I have a relative who laughs at this thing her kid does half the time and punishes her for the exact same thing other times--in the same context, too. It's not as if she's being punished for doing something in public rather than in private. It really confuses the kid. Also, *especially* with babies, the reinforcement or punishment has to happen directly after the action.
I want to second wasabi poptart on the consistency thing.
I have seen this many times before (I've worked with children in many occasions since I was 15) and they like to test you, push and push just to see how far they can get, consistency lets them know you're the one in control of the situation and that they can't get away with anything they want.
The "see how it feels?" works pretty well, I would just say that before doing it, you could warn him. Something like "I am not pinching you so don't pinch me because you're hurting me, if you do it again, I will pinch you and we'll see how you like it"
So the next time he wants to pinch you he will be fully aware of the consequences and if he does, do as you promised, never say you'll do something and then not do it.
I have seen this many times before (I've worked with children in many occasions since I was 15) and they like to test you, push and push just to see how far they can get, consistency lets them know you're the one in control of the situation and that they can't get away with anything they want.
The "see how it feels?" works pretty well, I would just say that before doing it, you could warn him. Something like "I am not pinching you so don't pinch me because you're hurting me, if you do it again, I will pinch you and we'll see how you like it"
So the next time he wants to pinch you he will be fully aware of the consequences and if he does, do as you promised, never say you'll do something and then not do it.
Necronic
Staff member
Squirt him with a bottle of water whenever he does it, or, fill a plastic jar with dried beans and when he does it shake it. Works every time with cats, and I bet it works great with kids too.
In all seriousness though, the real super secret thing is to develop that 'look', where when they do something wrong you just look at them and they know they better stop. I say it's super secret because I have no freaking clue how you condition a kid like that, but my mom can do it, and so can most of her friends. I went out drinking with them once and they all showed me their 'look' in turn, to see who had the most effective one. If I wasn't a stronger man I would have broken down crying and started admitting to all sorts of stuff.
In all seriousness though, the real super secret thing is to develop that 'look', where when they do something wrong you just look at them and they know they better stop. I say it's super secret because I have no freaking clue how you condition a kid like that, but my mom can do it, and so can most of her friends. I went out drinking with them once and they all showed me their 'look' in turn, to see who had the most effective one. If I wasn't a stronger man I would have broken down crying and started admitting to all sorts of stuff.
I remember when I was a kid I went through this phase of screaming for no reason at all. My mother finally spanked me for it, and I stopped, because she warned me that next time I would be spanked twice as many times. The next day my brother screamed, but he an I were in a separate room from mom. She came in, and I tried desperately to explain that it was my brother this time.
I got my promised punishment, plus extras for lying.
I got my promised punishment, plus extras for lying.
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Wasabi Poptart
QFT!Corporal punishment isn't always wrong, no matter what anyone tells you. But there's a proper time, place, and intensity level.
Cajungal
Staff member
QFT![/QUOTE]Corporal punishment isn't always wrong, no matter what anyone tells you. But there's a proper time, place, and intensity level.
If a badass momma such as yourself agrees, it must be true!
If you could hold his hand and make him pinch himself, it might get the message that he can cause pain across better than your grown-up fingers doing it themselves.
I read that about teaching a kid not to pull hair, though it's a little easier with hair.
I read that about teaching a kid not to pull hair, though it's a little easier with hair.
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Wasabi Poptart
:blush: Thanks.If a badass momma such as yourself agrees, it must be true!
North_Ranger
Staff member
Man, both your parents are awesome
How's the chum's side of the family? If they are awesome, too, you'll create, like, super-awesome kids.And I think I need to have some more caffeine before I post in here...
Cajungal
Staff member
Man, both your parents are awesome
How's the chum's side of the family? If they are awesome, too, you'll create, like, super-awesome kids.And I think I need to have some more caffeine before I post in here...[/QUOTE]
Also if you were asking how Jake's side of the family is... I think his mom is way more mellow than she used to be. But she once threw his favorite box of crayons out the moving car because he kept talking back and being generally bratty. She told him he would if he didn't stop it and totally backed it up, and I respect that. I love that story. :heh:
Whoa, what!?
Seej, are you cheating on The Fella with someone named The Chum?!
TREACHERY!
Cajungal
Staff member
Whoa, what!?
Seej, are you cheating on The Fella with someone named The Chum?!
TREACHERY![/QUOTE]
Ya got me. I have several men to whom I apply somewhat casual nicknames... then there's my pool boy, Eduardo.
Whoa, what!?
Seej, are you cheating on The Fella with someone named The Chum?!
TREACHERY![/QUOTE]
The Chum is easy to identify, what with his distinctive odor of chicken blood and fish guts. Helluva swimmer too, but then with the sharks following you'd have to be...
North_Ranger
Staff member
Whoa, what!?
Seej, are you cheating on The Fella with someone named The Chum?!
TREACHERY![/QUOTE]
Ya got me. I have several men to whom I apply somewhat casual nicknames... then there's my pool boy, Eduardo.[/QUOTE]
I hear you even caught an almost-celebrity, the Old Spice Guy's cousin who works in the dairy industry. How's Old Cheese doing?
Cajungal
Staff member
Whoa, what!?
Seej, are you cheating on The Fella with someone named The Chum?!
TREACHERY![/QUOTE]
Ya got me. I have several men to whom I apply somewhat casual nicknames... then there's my pool boy, Eduardo.[/QUOTE]
I hear you even caught an almost-celebrity, the Old Spice Guy's cousin who works in the dairy industry. How's Old Cheese doing?[/QUOTE]
He wishes I'd loosen his restraints. Otherwise he's pretty gouda.
LS, I gotta agree with Wasabi's advice, and stress that consistency is the key to it all. If you laugh at it, the kid thinks it's okay, even if it's only once that you do it. My wife and I worked hard at doing that with our daughter, if the daughter did something "wrong" but funny, we'd look at each other and one of us would signal that we'd take care of it and the other would leave the room and laugh. Be tough early and when needed, don't try to be a friend at this time, be a PARENT, later you can be friends and laugh about what they tried to do when they were two or three. Several of our friends, and both of our mother's thought we were being too tough on our daughter, but now, at 16, we're not having some of the problems that the others are having and she is a pleasure to be around.
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