Hey, Canada... is there something we need to talk about?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Jay

Jay



"No need to worry my fellow American friends they are just weather balloons. Also, those snowmobiles are standard issue so that we can get to the pond quicker in winter to play our favorite sport, "ice hockey" and then get back home. I'll also take this opportunity to express the warmest of feelings for our American neighbours."
 
HoboNinja

HoboNinja

I for one welcome the coming war with Canada. I think annexing them and salting all the land in Quebec would be fantastic. It's unfortunate that Gusto and TNG would probably die, they are doomed when they are drafted into the Canadian army and see their their Canuckistanese fighting skills are inferior to ours.
 
Eriol

Eriol

Salting all the land in Quebec...

Tell ya what. Spare Montreal (I hear it's pretty cool), and you've got yourselves a deal. We'll even help.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jay
Fun Size

Fun Size

Looking at the poutine, I'm thinking we need not worry. You eat that more than once a year, and the worst you could do was vigorously sweat on someone while wheezing annoyingly.
 
Jay

Jay

Eliza.jpg


"Hello, I'm Eliza Cassan here with some Breaking news! War has erupted in North America as Canada has invaded the United States of America. Peace protestors are rallying outside of parliament building in Ottawa to stop this aggressive action as Canadian forces wreck havok upon American forces thanks mostly to their secret military weapons such as their Heliblimps, stealth snowmobiles, human/moose augmentation research and cutting all their Maple Syrup supplies to the United States. Why they provoked such an attack is still unknown.

We have captured some pictures of the Canadian forces at work.



Human augmented Super-Canucks have been spotted sniping enemy pilots with only a 10mm pistol and maple syrup rations.



Moose shocktroopers have ambushed many American installations due to their stealth and cunning. Inconclusive reports state that they mave have learned how to drive snowmobiles.


DNA seeking weapon based weapons have been developped. Did you ever enjoy Maple Syrup? Had to use Insulin? Did you watch a game of hockey? Regardless of what you do, you are doomed.



Lumberjacks have been augmented to not only cut down trees but also buildings and dreams. Fear their beards.
 
checkeredhat

checkeredhat

Pfft, the snowmobiles aren't for WAR, they are merely to infiltrate schools and libraries and correct centuries of spelling errors and convert your textbooks to metric. The blimp things are to airlift in poutine, coffee crisp and entire Tim Hortons locations. The plan is not to take over by force, but just transition you into it. One day, you'll just wake up, and it'll be like "When the hell did I move to Canada?"
 
P

Philosopher B.

Every once in a while I'll be watching a movie or TV show and there'll be a fairly normal dude or dudette, and then WHAM, they'll say 'house,' and I'll be all, 'Oho! Thought you could get past us, eh? Sneaky bastards!'
 
HoboNinja

HoboNinja

checkeredhat said:
Pssht, tell that to William Shatner, Dan Aykroyd, Michael J. Fox, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, RUSH, and Gusto.
Click to expand...
I will accept Bill Shatner, Dan Aykroyd, Michael J. Fox, RUSH, and Gusto... but Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling... seriously... Ryan Gosling no not at all, Reynolds is alright I suppose but yeah neither of those two are much to get excited about.
 
checkeredhat

checkeredhat

Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds are probably our two biggest stars right now, so I included them in the list.
George Clooney apparently specifically demanded Gosling for a role in his latest movie, which means Ryan Gosling has actually gotten the closest thing one can get to a certificate of cool authentication.

Also, lets not forget Will Arnett, Nathan Fillion, or Norm MacDonald.
Added at: 23:23
Cheesy1 said:
What about Bryan Adams? :p
Click to expand...
Now now, the Canadian Government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occassions.
 
checkeredhat

checkeredhat

Haha, the BunchOFuckinGoofs. That takes me back. I used to see them perform in Newmarket, back when my friends and I fancied ourselves punks in High School. They are filthy. But they got nothing on Dirty Bird, the Throwaways or the Dayglo Abortions (Three other very very filthy Canadian Punk Bands, Dayglo probably being the most infamous, the Throwaways being a local band that broke up and reformed several times and also seemingly spawned every other local punk band into existence). I remember the singer from Dirty Bird would stick the mic down the back of his pants, up the front of his pants, and floss his ass with the cord while he screamed whatever their songs were about. During guitar solos he'd hork loogies up into the air probably about 10ft, and the ones he didn't catch in his mouth and spit back into the air, he'd just catch in his hat.
And then you have the Dayglo Abortions...

Never saw them perform live, but I imagine they'd give even Dirty Bird a run in the filth department.
Added at: 23:47
Philosopher B. said:
Every once in a while I'll be watching a movie or TV show and there'll be a fairly normal dude or dudette, and then WHAM, they'll say 'house,' and I'll be all, 'Oho! Thought you could get past us, eh? Sneaky bastards!'
Click to expand...
See? The plan to transition you is working. I also didn't know we said house diferently. Its weird, so many Americans pick up our Canadian accents right away, but other than very heavy accents, no one I know is ever able to tell an American one. Even my friend from Boston doesn't seem to have any different accent than we do, and she's from BAWSTEN, which is OWSUM.
 
Frank

Frank

The blimp thing made me think of the Red Alert 2 intro. Then I spent the next 20 minutes watching Red Alert videos.
 
checkeredhat

checkeredhat

I knew there was a webcomic I hadn't read in a while and needed to catch up on. Thank you.
*edit aww, there's only been like 3 comics since the last one I read.*
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top