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Hostage Situation at Discovery Channel Headquarters, MOAR SHARK WEEK

#1



crono1224

Problems at Discovery Headquarters

The Demands

Didn't realize discovery channel had that big of an impact on anything.


#2



Matt²

INVENT, DAMN YOU!
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LOL!


#3

Dave

Dave

He's coo-coo pants.


#4

Troll

Troll

The guy wants everyone to stop having children. I mean, completely stop. What a fucking nutter.

---------- Post added at 01:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:18 PM ----------
Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.
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Yes, of course the squirrels. So if something isn't on the list, is it okay if we eat it? Are we only allowed to eat the ugly animals now?


#5

Dave

Dave

In case you can't get to his site due to high traffic:

The Discovery Channel MUST broadcast to the world their commitment to save the planet and to do the following IMMEDIATELY:
1. The Discovery Channel and it's affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on Daniel Quinn's "My Ishmael" pages 207-212 where solutions to save the planet would be done in the same way as the Industrial Revolution was done, by people building on each other's inventive ideas. Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution. A game show format contest would be in order. Perhaps also forums of leading scientists who understand and agree with the Malthus-Darwin science and the problem of human overpopulation. Do both. Do all until something WORKS and the natural world starts improving and human civilization building STOPS and is reversed! MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!!

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs' places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

3. All programs promoting War and the technology behind those must cease. There is no sense in advertising weapons of mass-destruction anymore. Instead, talk about ways to disassemble civilization and concentrate the message in finding SOLUTIONS to solving global military mechanized conflict. Again, solutions solutions instead of just repeating the same old wars with newer weapons. Also, keep out the fraudulent peace movements. They are liars and fakes and had no real intention of ending the wars. ALL OF THEM ARE FAKE! On one hand, they claim they want the wars to end, on the other, they are demanding the human population increase. World War II had 2 Billion humans and after that war, the people decided that tripling the population would assure peace. WTF??? STUPIDITY! MORE HUMANS EQUALS MORE WAR!

4. Civilization must be exposed for the filth it is. That, and all its disgusting religious-cultural roots and greed. Broadcast this message until the pollution in the planet is reversed and the human population goes down! This is your obligation. If you think it isn't, then get hell off the planet! Breathe Oil! It is the moral obligation of everyone living otherwise what good are they??

5. Immigration: Programs must be developed to find solutions to stopping ALL immigration pollution and the anchor baby filth that follows that. Find solutions to stopping it. Call for people in the world to develop solutions to stop it completely and permanently. Find solutions FOR these countries so they stop sending their breeding populations to the US and the world to seek jobs and therefore breed more unwanted pollution babies. FIND SOLUTIONS FOR THEM TO STOP THEIR HUMAN GROWTH AND THE EXPORTATION OF THAT DISGUSTING FILTH! (The first world is feeding the population growth of the Third World and those human families are going to where the food is! They must stop procreating new humans looking for nonexistant jobs!)

6. Find solutions for Global Warming, Automotive pollution, International Trade, factory pollution, and the whole blasted human economy. Find ways so that people don't build more housing pollution which destroys the environment to make way for more human filth! Find solutions so that people stop breeding as well as stopping using Oil in order to REVERSE Global warming and the destruction of the planet!

7. Develop shows that mention the Malthusian sciences about how food production leads to the overpopulation of the Human race. Talk about Evolution. Talk about Malthus and Darwin until it sinks into the stupid people's brains until they get it!!

8. Saving the Planet means saving what's left of the non-human Wildlife by decreasing the Human population. That means stopping the human race from breeding any more disgusting human babies! You're the media, you can reach enough people. It's your resposibility because you reach so many minds!!!

9. Develop shows that will correct and dismantle the dangerous US world economy. Find solutions for their disasterous Ponzi-Casino economy before they take the world to another nuclear war.

10. Stop all shows glorifying human birthing on all your channels and on TLC. Stop Future Weapons shows or replace the dialogue condemning the people behind these developments so that the shows become exposes rather than advertisements of Arms sales and development!

11. You're also going to find solutions for unemployment and housing. All these unemployed people makes me think the US is headed toward more war.

Humans are the most destructive, filthy, pollutive creatures around and are wrecking what's left of the planet with their false morals and breeding culture.

For every human born, ACRES of wildlife forests must be turned into farmland in order to feed that new addition over the course of 60 to 100 YEARS of that new human's lifespan! THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE FOREST CREATURES!!!! All human procreation and farming must cease!

It is the responsiblity of everyone to preserve the planet they live on by not breeding any more children who will continue their filthy practices. Children represent FUTURE catastrophic pollution whereas their parents are current pollution. NO MORE BABIES! Population growth is a real crisis. Even one child born in the US will use 30 to a thousand times more resources than a Third World child. It's like a couple are having 30 babies even though it's just one! If the US goes in this direction maybe other countries will too!

Also, war must be halted. Not because it's morally wrong, but because of the catastrophic environmental damage modern weapons cause to other creatures. FIND SOLUTIONS JUST LIKE THE BOOK SAYS! Humans are supposed to be inventive. INVENT, DAMN YOU!!

The world needs TV shows that DEVELOP solutions to the problems that humans are causing, not stupify the people into destroying the world. Not encouraging them to breed more environmentally harmful humans.

Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.

The humans? The planet does not need humans.

You MUST KNOW the human population is behind all the pollution and problems in the world, and YET you encourage the exact opposite instead of discouraging human growth and procreation. Surely you MUST ALREADY KNOW this!

I want Discovery Communications to broadcast on their channels to the world their new program lineup and I want proof they are doing so. I want the new shows started by asking the public for inventive solution ideas to save the planet and the remaining wildlife on it.

These are the demands and sayings of Lee.
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#6

Fun Size

Fun Size

Well, he's got a point about the squirrels. Damned cute, those squirrels.


#7

Dave

Dave

I like that he calls them "froggies".


#8

Vagabond

V.Bond

This has been going on for about four hours.

The local news has been covering it for maybe three.

They are running out of things to say, and it's veering into the absurd now.


#9



crono1224

Vagabond said:
This has been going on for about four hours.

The local news has been covering it for maybe three.

They are running out of things to say, and it's veering into the absurd now.
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Man I am glad I'm not a reporter and have to do one of these of the constant update things. Maybe soon we can get facts on how the building was made, or famous people who have driven on these streets.


#10

Vagabond

V.Bond

They've already done both of those things. No joke.

Also, a lady with a fantastic butt just walked behind one of the reporters. Most interesting thing to happen in a while.


#11

General Specific

General Specific

So he wants everyone to stop having babies, to dismantle civilization, #9 also indicates that we have had a nuclear war in the past that I somehow missed, #4 also wants us to breathe oil...

Wow, this guy is definitely off his nut. He really has some issues and needs some serious help. I hope they can take him down without anyone getting hurt.


#12



LordRavage

This guy cant make up his mind. We need less people on the planet but war should be stopped?! I mean, I thought one of the points to war was to bring down populations...of your enemies.

Squirrels are evil little creatures. They should be destroyed on site. I am still building a lazer to do this.

I did want to invent "Damn you" but someone beat me to it. (Damn them!)

No more babies? Thats insane...Who would we whip and put in sweat shops?

Im sorry, this guy needs to get his act together. If humans are so bad then he should take the dangerous end of gun, put it in his mouth and squeeze. There! one less human. The world will feel safer.

:D


#13



crono1224

Vagabond said:
They've already done both of those things. No joke.

Also, a lady with a fantastic butt just walked behind one of the reporters. Most interesting thing to happen in a while.
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Maybe if you are lucky they will replay that scene multiple times.


#14

Vagabond

V.Bond

Nah, they're talking to some retired cop now.

"So, this building is pretty big, could that make things difficult?"

"Yes"

THRILLING


#15

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

Wow, this guy is a complete lunatic... yep... let's get right on top of dismantling civilization... *rolls eyes*.


#16

Vagabond

V.Bond

So now a bunch of important people are holding a press conference, in the middle of an intersection.

The pedestrian crossing signal is making a pretty audible, constant, booping sound.

It's throwing everyone's speech off.

Also, the press is asking petty stupid questions.

Oh, the hostages are safe.

---------- Post added at 05:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:04 PM ----------

Suspect was shot and apprehended. Game over.


#17

Dave

Dave

But there may be other explosive devices around and one may have detonated.

---------- Post added at 04:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:06 PM ----------

Police: "The suspect was shot."
Reporter: "What is his condition?"
Police: "I'm afraid I don't know that at this time."
Other reporter: "Sir, do you know his condition?"
Police: "I'm afraid I don't know that at this time."
Yet another reporter: "Okay. Is he alive?"

I was waiting for the cop to say, "Fuck you all. I'm going to go get drunk."


#18

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

Vagabond said:
Suspect was shot and apprehended. Game over.
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Haha... sucks to be him! ;)


#19

Vagabond

V.Bond

Up next, people complain about traffic being disrupted.

Priorities? Please, these people have places they need to be.


#20

Krisken

Krisken

Dave said:
But there may be other explosive devices around and one may have detonated.

---------- Post added at 04:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:06 PM ----------

Police: "The suspect was shot."
Reporter: "What is his condition?"
Police: "I'm afraid I don't know that at this time."
Other reporter: "Sir, do you know his condition?"
Police: "I'm afraid I don't know that at this time."
Yet another reporter: "Okay. Is he alive?"

I was waiting for the cop to say, "Fuck you all. I'm going to go get drunk."
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I swear, reporters are challenged sometimes.


#21



Iaculus

Vagabond said:
This has been going on for about four hours.

The local news has been covering it for maybe three.

They are running out of things to say, and it's veering into the absurd now.
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A gun-wielding maniac held the Discovery Channel headquarters hostage and demanded that the human race stop making babies... and that was the point at which you thought the situation was 'veering into the absurd'?


#22

Dave

Dave

You and he, baby, ain't nothing but mammals so stop doing like they do on the Discovery Channel.....


#23

Fun Size

Fun Size

I do have to say that I'm now interested in reading Ismeal, but I'm wary. The last time I took book advice from a psycho, it was Catcher in the Rye, and honestly, I just wasn't that impressed.


#24



crono1224

Vagabond said:
Up next, people complain about traffic being disrupted.

Priorities? Please, these people have places they need to be.
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Listen I understand there was a little 'situation' but I only got about 30 minutes to swing by my mistress before the wife realizes I took a pit stop after work.


#25

Fun Size

Fun Size

crono1224;433557][QUOTE=Vagabond said:
Up next, people complain about traffic being disrupted.

Priorities? Please, these people have places they need to be.
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Listen I understand there was a little 'situation' but I only got about 30 minutes to swing by my mistress before the wife realizes I took a pit stop after work.[/QUOTE]

Well, at least he stopped that guy from making babies...


#26

Vagabond

V.Bond

He died from the gunshot.


#27

Fun Size

Fun Size

Vagabond said:
He died from the gunshot.
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And he made a move toward solving the overpopulation thing. Overall, I'm calling this one a win for the nutjob.


#28

Azurephoenix

Azurephoenix

Dave said:
You and he, baby, ain't nothing but mammals so stop doing like they do on the Discovery Channel.....
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Well played Dave... well played... *claps*


#29

Dave

Dave

I can't possibly be the first to make that joke. It's too damned easy and obvious.


#30



Matt²

I blame Al Gore for the entire incident! =D

Police kill Discovery building gunman - U.S. news - Crime & courts - msnbc.com


#31

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Hopefully, the bombs in the building are disarmed. That said, I think shooting him - necessary as it might have been - will just turn him into a martyr.


#32

Troll

Troll

ThatNickGuy said:
I think shooting him - necessary as it might have been - will just turn him into a martyr.
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For who? Other nutballs? Anyone who is unbalanced enough to agree with the guy won't need him to be a martyr for them to act crazy.


#33

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

To be honest, aside from his methods, he's not entirely wrong.

Forget it. I start going on about my usual environmental soapbox, I'll get flamed.


#34

Troll

Troll

ThatNickGuy said:
To be honest, aside from his methods, he's not entirely wrong.

Forget it. I start going on about my usual environmental soapbox, I'll get flamed.
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The way I see it, he took some basic truth (such as "overpopulation is a bad thing") and took it way, way too far. And in doing so, and in using violent methods to communicate his ideas, I think he lost any real chance at logical support. That's why I don't see much chance of him being a martyr, or inspiring anyone not insane.

I won't be flaming you about your "environmental soapbox," as you put it. So long as it doesn't involve talking about ridiculous things such as stopping all human reproduction, anyway.


#35

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Thanks. As I said, he's not entirely wrong. But certainly taking it to some crazy extremes.

I'm not certainly for the idea of stopping all human reproduction, but certainly for the idea of adding some restrictions or something. Certainly MUCH better sex education for teens. Maybe the X number of kids limit like China has (or had?). Then again, that led to a very large numbr of children being put up for adoption. I really don't know, truth be told.

I'm all for societal changes. I think the way we're living now is wasteful and there are ways we can change. It's sad that not only is that feeling impossible, but then you have nutcases like this who give guys like me a bad name.


#36

Chad Sexington

Garbledina

I love that he wanted the shows done in a game-show format.

I want to write a quiz show about self-sterilization.


#37

HoboNinja

HoboNinja

Been following

Police standoff going on right outside my office! : pics

NOOOO, a gunman is holding someone hostage at the Discovery Channel Headquarters! : reddit.com

Since I got out of class at 2. Crazy shit.

I am glad the hostages got out alright.

Edit: Ah I was going to post his MySpace but it is gone now... censorship ftl.


#38

Telephius

Telephius

Chad Sexington said:
I love that he wanted the shows done in a game-show format.

I want to write a quiz show about self-sterilization.
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Host: Contestant 1, what is the best way to use a rusty coat hangar? Remember the answers must be in a form of a question you filty man ape.


#39

SpecialKO

SpecialKO

Why did only Future Weapons get a shout out?

You'd think he'd have thrown some hate at Man vs Wild, or demanded that Mythbusters remove their "don't try at home" warning.


#40

Espy

Espy

Dude should have run for congress, aside from the whole shooting people thing he's got a strong platform, you know, crazy, but strong.


#41

GasBandit

GasBandit

The Church of Global Warming has its first holy martyr?


#42

figmentPez

figmentPez

GasBandit said:
The Church of Global Warming has its first holy martyr?
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Next up, "the bag monster" (a man protesting the use of plastic grocery sacks) suffocates on his own costume.


#43

Charlie Don't Surf

The Lovely Boehner

Can we get back to the part where TNG seriously thinks we should have laws against reproduction?


#44

Troll

Troll

The Lovely Boner said:
Can we get back to the part where TNG seriously thinks we should have laws [STRIKE]against reproduction[/STRIKE] designed to prevent overpopulation? Also, I can't read.
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.


#45

bigcountry23

bigcountry23

Hey, he got his way. There's one less person on the planet today as a direct result of his actions...

...Too soon?


#46

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

ThatNickGuy said:
I'm not certainly for the idea of stopping all human reproduction, but certainly for the idea of adding some restrictions or something. Certainly MUCH better sex education for teens. Maybe the X number of kids limit like China has (or had?). Then again, that led to a very large numbr of [strike]children being put up for adoption[/strike] women being pulled out of their homes and having their pregnancies aborted against their will, then sterilized, and female babies being left to die in rural areas due to cultural preference for males. I really don't know, truth be told.
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Fixed (see Troll, we can all fix things). Hey, you had one good point though! You really don't know.

Those begging for population control laws should stop having sex.

And if the adoption thing were the case, why would that be a problem? Those adopting kids would then have less need to procreate.


#47

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Jesus. Not that I doubt you, Esc, but is that part you "fixed" really true?


#48

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

When I get the money saved up, since insurance won't cover it.

If you were asking truth about the changes to your post--yeah, that's true. I see a lot of issues involving it in my job.


#49

Troll

Troll

Stop overlooking reasonable suggestions like better sex education and fixating on the outrageous parts. I don't agree with child limits and NO ONE wants something as grotesque as forced abortion/sterilization. Overpopulation is a real problem, though, and something needs to be done. People should be encouraged (not forced in any way) to limit the size of their families.


#50

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Better sex education is obvious...

...except when we advocate abstinence and nothing else!


#51



Chibibar

Troll said:
Stop overlooking reasonable suggestions like better sex education and fixating on the outrageous parts. I don't agree with child limits and NO ONE wants something as grotesque as forced abortion/sterilization. Overpopulation is a real problem, though, and something needs to be done. People should be encouraged (not forced in any way) to limit the size of their families.
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Child Tax? paying more taxes for having more children?
education limit? 1st child is covered via federal funding while all other children need to pay the government in full for education?
cut out benefits on welfare of you have more than one child? i.e. you get a minus per children instead of plus.

all sounds horrible cause the public would never go for it.


#52

GasBandit

GasBandit

These are all very complicated methods that rely on people's following rules to enforce. We DO already have an age-tested tried-and-true method of reducing population. Seems we're about due (and in the right geopolitical situation) for the next one to come along any year now, too.


#53



Chibibar

GasBandit said:
These are all very complicated methods that rely on people's following rules to enforce. We DO already have an age-tested tried-and-true method of reducing population. Seems we're about due (and in the right geopolitical situation) for the next one to come along any year now, too.
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while I believe we may not actually use thermal nuclear weapon, I can't say for some countries where they can "afford" to lose millions of people and use them anyway :(


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