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So my computer has come down with a bad case of malware. It is called "System Fix" and it fucks around with your shit something fierce. I've run Spybot and Malware Bytes (quick scan, full scan in progress) and neither seem to be able to find it which is really fucking annoying because it is constantly giving me bullshit error messages, meaning it is not exactly trying to hide out.

So the question I ask is: Can anyone give me advice that doesn't require a computer science degree to understand? I searched for help tips but most of them were either "use malware bytes" or lines of computer language to use that I don't even begin to understand.

Do you have a system restore backup you can revert to? A little pain in the butt yet totally worth it if it's a recent backup.

No I do not.

sounds like you need to reformat that bitch. And not look at porn so much in the future.

This seems like the simplest solution:

1. First of all, restart your computer and press "F8" key repeatedly to access Windows Startup Menu.
2. From this menu, please select "Safe Mode With Networking" and press Enter.
3. After booting your computer in Safe Mode with Networking mode, download Spyware Doctor by clicking the button below.
Spyware Doctor
5. Now you need to unhide all the files and change their attributes. To do that, you can use a utility called Unhide which is created by Bleeping Computer


-Edit-
If you already have Malwarebytes Anti-Malware installed, you can also try these instructions.

Sorry man, I'm not up on pc virus destroyers, if you can't system restore... well, hopefully someone knows something about it.

Good luck.

Once you are clean again, consider investing in a backup utility to make sure you can always go back to the last time it was working perfectly.

--Patrick

Thanks everyone, and Drifter in particular. It took SEVEN FUCKING HOURS (and probably six or seven spyware scans) but I managed to win the day without reformatting.

I also went out to dinner with my best friend Mrs. M and her husband, who I'll call Mr. "6' 2" Indimidating Navy Dude who's actually really nice if you're on his good side which I am because I performed his wedding and his wife likes me". Mr. 6'2"INDWRNIYOHGSWIABIPHWAHWLM offered to put a program on my computer that would let him take command of it remotely so I could message him if ever I had a problem and he could tech support it from Virgina. Soooo gonna take him up on that.

You know what Drifter did? Googled it. Trust me. That's pretty much what all IT guys do now. Google it, follow instructions, BAM! Clean.

I googled it but the instructions I found right off the bat were all "go into your computers registry and make these changes. and don't do that unless you know what you're doing, otherwise you'll end up with a decorative paper weight."

Maybe what the world needs is a sort of meta-Google. A Google that googles your Google results and recommends which ones would be the most useful.

--Patrick

Dave said:

You know what Drifter did? Googled it. Trust me. That's pretty much what all IT guys do now. Google it, follow instructions, BAM! Clean.

Click to expand...

shhhhh..... you will cost my my job.

Heck of a job there, it abosleutly helps me out.

Glad we could help ya! These things suck!

This is the first time I've heard of Spyware Doctor actually doing something. Maybe I'll have to revise my opinion of it.

Hey Dave...not all of us google the solution. Some of us remember things we googled before...er, I mean things we encountered and came up with solutions for before!

GasBandit I've yet to see a real good cleanup result from Spyware Doctor so my opinion remains low but hey if it helped someone then that is fantastic.

Norris you may want to look into a good root kit remover to make sure there is nothing lurking just outside where the normal cleanup tools can get their hands on the problem and clean it up. Combofix is great, look into it at http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/download/anti-virus/combofix ...you may want to add it and Superantispyware Free Edition found at download.com to your cleanup efforts and ongoing preventative maintenance.

PatrThom said:

Maybe what the world needs is a sort of meta-Google. A Google that googles your Google results and recommends which ones would be the most useful.

--Patrick

Click to expand...

Sort of like a "decision engine" hmm? Too bad Bing sucks.