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There is a limit on people I can tag. I'd tag almost everyone.

@Gusto Your painting is beautiful. My friends comment on it all the time. My then-girlfriend was so happy with it - I think she was worried I'd commissioned something awful. You've impressed a lot of people.

@Charlie Don't Surf Apocalypse Now was constantly on my to-watch list until you turned up on the forums, and I made it a point to watch it. It is one of my favourite films. I hate that your name has become a by-word for people concerned about the wellbeing of others. You are an idealist, and maybe a bit of an ideologue, but I love that you care so much.

@GasBandit You're far and away my favourite poster here. I can't think of another person I disagree and agree with more. You polarise me daily, you challenge my thinking.

@stienman You're a good person. I'm so glad you take the time to pursue issues from the silly to the serious in such an impassioned way.

@Cajungal You always, always buoy my spirits.

@Jay I'm sorry I'll never get that poutine I owe you. Thank you for teaching me that devoir can also mean 'owe'.

@ThatNickGuy You will persevere where I have not.

@Frank I wish we'd grabbed a beer sometime. Keep doing Alberta good.

@phil Thanks for the letters. They make me smile.

To everyone here, I wish I had the energy to say something to you all individually, but I do not.

You've been so good. I miss North_Ranger. I miss ...

I like this forum. It is such a relief to come here. I'm so sorry for my weakness. Please see me on my way with humour. Morbid jokes, grim tales, perverse glee.

To anyone here who couldn't stand me: I liked and hated you all the same. Alien, or @lien or whatever, I really hated your overuse of ellipses. But you're a good egg, and don't quit on my account. I'm just some jackass who will be ash soon.

This forum was a weird home. I'm sorry I'm too weak to give back to it like I ought to. And yes, I used a preposition to end a sentence with.

Leigh Johnson.

This had better not be a suicide not. Fuck Chad, don't do this.

What the fuck? Dude, talk to us. What's going on?

Leigh, please don't do this.

Call this number right now, please do it.

403-266-HELP

Please do it, this helped a friend of mine when she was suicidal. It helped her get started. It is treatable. I know, I suffered depression for over a decade and went through it.

And if you won't call the number, do one thing first. Think about it. If you're going to end your life, give yourself a day to think about it. One day. 24 hours. You can take it for another day.

Chad... Leigh... say something, man. anything. post a random smiley or something. Let's talk man.

Leigh, it shows you being online, so please read this.

I know how you feel. Where everything seems so ugly, nothing is going right and the whole world is one big unfair mess. It's just one damn thing after another, and it never feels like it's going to get better. I'm feeling that way at the moment myself, have been for almost the last year. But I also know from other times I've dealt with this darkness is that IT DOES NOT LAST FOREVER. Time will eventually heal it. Maybe not all the way, but enough that you can live with it and keep going. Please know that we are all worried about you here right now. You are part of OUR family. Please, we've already lost Mikko, don't do anything rash. I think Mikko would want you to push on.

You tried to be there for me earlier this year when I was at my lowest low, and I couldn't call myself a friend if I didn't try to do the same for you now. Please, if you need to talk, PM me. Let's talk it out. I'll stay up as long as it takes to help.

I'm up at 2 am trying to find out something - anything - to help out in the situation. And I'm not going to bed until I find out something.

Think about that, Leigh. We care that much. You rouse an old man like me from his sleep, it better be important. And you are.

Chad/Leigh, please say you're still around.

@Chad Sexington DONT FUCKING GO QUIETLY INTO THAT NIGHT, RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT!

I am not going to be sappy, I have and continue to be where you are buddy. dont fucking do it, your life is the only one you have,dont end it now in your youth, there is so much science still to be done my good chum! So I am pulling for as is the entire Halforums family. You ever need someone to talk to you fucking talk to me! No one wants you to be another statistic!

@Chad Sexington Please call back please

Don't do that, Chad.

What is going on?

Well, this was startling to wake up to.
I certainly hope Chad is just saying he needs to be away from the board for a while.

--Patrick

@Chad Sexington I was thinking about you last night when I was going to bed wishing that I sent you a PM after your earlier posts about the sounds. Please say that this is just a call for help.

There is always something to live for. You just have to find it. You only get one chance on this planet. One chance to: travel, explore, help, learn, laugh, sing, dance, play, and love. Please don't do anything that will change that. Know that there are folks who do care and think about you even though we've never met. Let us know how we can help.

And if you are fine, do NOT feel bad about coming back in! Don't be embarrassed. We want you to come back, joke, talk, and generally be the sexy bastard you are.

Man, I just saw this post.

I know I am late but please don't do anything rash and know that there are people who really care for you

I'm very glad to know that you are still alive. I hope you recover completely, and I hope you understand our love and concern for you and your happiness.

I'm glad you're not gone.

@Chad Sexington We are all so happy you're still with us.

@Chad Sexington No judgments, no anger, no finger wagging, I just hope you know that we all love you, and we're here for you. And I hope this proves it.

Leigh, man, I'm glad you're still with us. Infinitely glad.

Thread with personal information has been removed from public sight.

We might not be there physically with you, but we are all your friends. If we haven't said enough when you've reached out, it's only because there's not much to say. We're there with a virtual hand on your shoulder. I hope you'll feel better.

I'm glad he'll make it. And I'm bad with words. That's the best I could do.

@Chad Sexington you are valued. Glad you are still here with us.

I'm terrible at online sentiments - I'm a hugger and I wish that I could give you a hug in person.

I'm so happy that you're alive Chad. So, so glad.

Leigh, I'm glad you're here. You are never alone. Never.

Dave said:

Thread with personal information has been removed from public sight.

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Yeah, I noticed when it ate the post I had spent way too long composing. Grr.

I don't have a lot of time because I'm just on a break right now at work, but I want to say this to @Chad Sexington and any of our other forum members who deal with depression; I frequently see references about how someone is not as "strong" as the rest of us, but this is an incorrect assumption. I'm sure that it must seem to you like the rest of the world has some magical ability or talent that somehow allows them to endure/avoid the same crushing weight that plagues you, but I'm willing to bet this is not really the case. After all, a person with a cold doesn't wonder how it is that everyone else around him manages to keep from sneezing/coughing, etc.

I'm just saying that depression is a normal thing that everyone experiences at some time or another. But persistent, clinical depression is an illness (chemical, physical, mental, whatever), and it deserves diagnosis and treatment just as much as any other illness because, just like any other illness, if it is left untreated for too long, it can and will negatively affect your life...or even kill you.

--Patrick

Leigh, I don't know if this has any value coming from me but I'm really really glad, and relieved, that you're not gone. And I'm sorry that I didn't do more to help you in the past.
I hope you'll get better, and to see you around here again when you do.

Yeah, I know I don't know you as well as others here Leigh but man, I love it when you post and I am SO happy you are still here.

Hey Leigh, so glad you're still here. I may be a lurker, but I love seeing your posts and am waiting to see you post again.

I just hope you get the therapy/medical attention you need. You obviously have something wrong as you had mentioned in previous threads that you were having auditory hallucinations. If anything like that ever happens again, please seek help right away in the future.

We like having you around.

@Chad Sexington -for whatever you're feeling right now, or whenever you read this, know that there are a lot of people who care about you and would find the world a poorer place without you in it. Please come back to us soon! (I'll draw more, I promise! )

Fucking hell, glad you're still around.

Sorry, I had errands to run... what did I miss since 8 AM?

@Chad Sexington, I am glad you are still around and I want you to know that people really do care for you

@Chad Sexington, I'm glad you're still with us, bud. Everyone's waiting for you to come back, man, because we got your back.

Jay said:

Sorry, I had errands to run... what did I miss since 8 AM?

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He attempted suicide, including this suicide note. Dave and others scrambled together Leigh's contact information and Frank knew people in Saskatoon to contact. They found him unconscious and he's in the hospital now. To which I add, thank god.

Well damn son. Y'all's heroes.

As for Chad, you've got friends man. I will seriously drive to wherever the hell you are and take you to a damn amusement park to prove this. Cotton candy and everything. I dare you to make a sad face while there is delicious cotton candy in your mouth. :|

West Edmonton Mall has one hell of a Roller Coaster.

Holy shit. Can anyone get me up to speed?

And Leigh, we WILL have that glass of Whiskey together someday.

Whoa holy fuck.

LordRendar said:

Holy shit. Can anyone get me up to speed?

And Leigh, we WILL have that glass of Whiskey together someday.

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Here is a summary that Dave gave in another thread

Summary:

Chad made this post and not too long after @Ravenpoe made a thread about how we could get a hold of Leigh. @Frank got up, put on his uniform and went into is office to monitor and help. Poe called me about 2 am or so (not sure of the time - I was a bit out of it) and I got Leigh's address by looking through @stienman's Secret Santa emails (which I can do but have only had to do twice). Frank then sent EMS to Leigh's address, where they found him unconscious and unresponsive. They took him to the hospital and he's going to live, although we do not know how he tried to do it.

@drifter provided me with his dad's email address and place of business. I called his dad who is out for the week. I left a message to have the person who did answer the phone call his dad as it was an emergency. His dad called me and that's when I discovered that they found him alive and that's how dad found out a bunch of anonymous people from the internet saved his son's life.

Then we all started trying not to cry as we came down off the adrenaline.

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ThatNickGuy said:

He attempted suicide, including this suicide note. Dave and others scrambled together Leigh's contact information and Frank knew people in Saskatoon to contact. They found him unconscious and he's in the hospital now. To which I add, thank god.

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Edmonton, darlin'. Saskatoon is much better because it has me.

Hylian said:

Here is a summary that Dave gave in another thread

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Thank you. Man, I am so glad that this is the outcome. I really like Chad and would have been devastated.

I didn't have time to post in the Emergency thread this morning, but I wanted to say I was impressed and amazed with you guys over what went on in those early morning hours.

Chad, get well and come back.

One thing is clear. Once you sign up to be a poster here your life is no longer yours to end. You have become of legion. (Im joking dont hate me for being a twisted monster.)

That's okay. My message to Poe last night was, "If this is a suicide note, it is the most Canadian thing I have ever seen. Hell, even the post name is "I'm sorry."

Sooo glad Chad is okay and consistently impressed with how great the people on this board are.

You guys rock.

Chad, get better soon, and looking forward to seeing you post when you are up for it.

Dave said:

That's okay. My message to Poe last night was, "If this is a suicide note, it is the most Canadian thing I have ever seen. Hell, even the post name is "I'm sorry."

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We are what we are.[DOUBLEPOST=1409266159,1409265621][/DOUBLEPOST]@Chad Sexington, come back to us as soon as you can. Halforums certainly wouldn't be the same without you.

We love you. Be well, cheri.

Well pretty soon we'll have to be posting our apologies for interfering with his suicide attempt.

http://cdnexpat.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/typical-canadian-conversation-comic/

Chad Sexington said:

Please see me on my way with humour. Morbid jokes, grim tales, perverse glee.

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Sorry for screwing up* your death.

THANKS OBAMAHARPER.

*Not really very sorry.

Now that the apology and attempt to place blame on a political entity is out of the way, down to business:

What is the etiquette? Do we punch you in the face first for attempting to leave, or do you get to punch us first for sucking you back in?

We're Canadians. We only punch people during hockey.

The standard procedure is to buy each other Tim Horton's coffee and talk about the government/hockey/winter/crazy Americans/summer road work/hockey.

Emrys said:

We're Canadians. We only punch people during hockey.

The standard procedure is to buy each other Tim Horton's...

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I'm having Burger King take care of our half of the deal then.

Well I was utterly worthless at work today. I'm going to take tomorrow off.

@Chad Sexington:
I expect a full recovery and a promise that if you ever get to feeling close to this way again you will call each of us in turn rather than leaving a forum post.

That goes for everyone else here, BTW. You have to call me and everyone else here first.

stienman said:

That goes for everyone else here, BTW. You have to call me and everyone else here first.

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Well okay, First. If you insist.

ThatNickGuy said:

Well okay, First. If you insist.

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[DOUBLEPOST=1409270504,1409270457][/DOUBLEPOST]And since I love the associated remix so much:

stienman said:

Well I was utterly worthless at work today.

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Yeah I can't say I studied much at all. Plus one of my classes this semester is crisis intervention.

Why is the rum ALWAYS gone?

I like to imagine that all the awesomeness shown by Halforumites in the last 24 hours was done without pants.

HCGLNS said:

I like to imagine that all the awesomeness shown by Halforumites in the last 24 hours was done without pants.

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I can only answer that if you define pants as the American meaning of pants, or the British meaning of pants.

I know my small part was.

In a North Ranger sense obviously.

grub said:

I know my small part was.

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No pants, small part. *snicker*

It was cold

Holy shit, you guys are awesome.

And @Chad Sexington : I may not know you as well as many on the forum, but if you ever need anything: please, contact me or someone here. I know our words will likely do fuck-all, because depression has a nasty little way of twisting thoughts into knives, but please. I'm so glad to hear you're okay, and I want to hear how you're doing. We love you.

Sounds like we need to help Leigh break the record for most forumites visited in person.

stienman said:

Do we punch you in the face first for attempting to leave, or do you get to punch us first for sucking you back in?

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I actually expect this will be a dilemma he will have to untangle on his own.

I know I'm FAR too rational to be a good choice for cheering up. I've always felt that it's better to tell someone, "You're OK" and mean it than it is to tell them, "You're wonderful!" and not. I don't know if this was some sort of "Let's see if anybody actually cares about me" test (if it was, I hope we passed!) or a genuine belief that the world was somehow being harmed by his (your) continued existence (Spoiler alert: It wasn't), but it's certainly going to have lasting repercussions either way--for him, for us, for many people on the periphery as well.

I remember feeling bad that I didn't find out about this sooner, that I didn't do enough (could I have made a difference?), worrying whether I was feeling an appropriate amount of panic over a stranger on the Internet that I've never met (who is still a human being, mind you), and just generally feeling like, aside from a text or two, my contribution to this entire incident was insignificant. I help people all the time on this forum and give (generally) useful advice on one subject or another, but I was caught completely flat-footed by this morning's events: tardy, unaware, ineffective, and helpless to assist.

...though later, I decided that this is actually a good thing. This is a thing I do not wish to practice, do not want to gain levels in, do not desire to perfect. Do you hear me, Halforums? These are not skills I wish to develop. Help me continue to suck at reacting to these remote crises by not making a habit of this sort of behavior. I want to be completely unprepared due to lack of exposure. That is all.

--Patrick

Damn.

@Chad Sexington - Leigh - Dude.

I've got it in my signature line - never, EVER forget that there are real, live persons on the other end of the internet from you.

Get better and get back.

Any further word from the hospital tonight?

And this morning I learned that Monongalia County 911 isn't much help if the person in trouble isn't in the USA. Fortunately at that point Frank was already moving with authority.

jwhouk said:

Damn.

@Chad Sexington - Leigh - Dude.

I've got it in my signature line - never, EVER forget that there are real, live persons on the other end of the internet from you.

Get better and get back.

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Speak for yourself, I am the fish controlling this dumb meatbag!

I just want to remind everyone that prior to this incident, there were issues with him showing signs of some sort of mental issue that is not common of standard depression, such as auditory hallucinations. This may not have been even an issue of choice on his part, just a result of an untreated mental condition. I really hope he gets the help that he needs and comes back with some effective treatment.

I am in awe at the strength and humanity on display by this community right now. I'm absolutely serious, I'm all choked up. I'm immensely proud to call myself a Halforumite.

Leigh, I know you don't know me from Adam, but I'm damn glad you're still with us. And if you're ever in Ottawa, drop me a line and I'll buy you all the TimBits you can eat, buddy.

No one should feel bad for not being involved. The people who were sprang into action within minutes, and everything took place over the course of two hours. If anything, let's all be glad those people were there. It's scary how close and far we can come from things turning out worse by just timing alone.

You and I never talked a ton when I was really active here, but your posts often entertain me and I seriously think you have one of the best usernames on the internet.

You seem like a really, genuinely good person, and I am so sorry that life is treating you like shit right now. Please know that you are loved by many people and respected by even more. You have lots and lots of people -- myself included -- who are very glad you are still with us and are in your corner wishing you a speedy recovery. I hope someday you and I can meet up at a HF event and get scotch drunk together

@Chad Sexington

I'm glad you're alright.

Please get the help you need, bro.

@Chad Sexington I'll admit to not chatting with much, but your still a good egg and am glad you're all right.

@Chad Sexington

Much relief to hear you are ok man. I hope you are able to get the help you need. Amazing to see how we got each other's backs on this forum.

Holy shit I just read this. @Chad Sexington dude, I love you, don't scare me!

Oh my god. I'm so glad he's okay!

HowDroll said:

You and I never talked a ton when I was really active here

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Please come back. I miss you so much my "The First Law" sister.

Has anyone heard any updates on him since he was brought to the hospital? I'm sure - or at least hope - we'll hear from him personally at some point.

No. We'll only know anything if his dad lets us know. And whether he does or not is totally up to him.

Dave said:

No. We'll only know anything if his dad lets us know. And whether he does or not is totally up to him.

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Oh, I know. They not even remotely required to give us any kind of update and I don't expect them to. It'd still be nice to know how he's doing, though, you know?

Y'all do know that patient ID/location information is publicly available right? (I used to work in hospitals.)

Anyways, apparently he's sleeping right now, but was awake and had breakfast this morning. According to a nurse on the unit I just talked to.

Way to go Dirona! Thanks for the update!

Dirona said:

Y'all do know that patient ID/location information is publicly available right? (I used to work in hospitals.)

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Much as it's good to know he's OK... that's some scary shit right there.

GasBandit said:

Much as it's good to know he's OK... that's some scary shit right there.

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Yeah is that only a Canada thing? But, I am glad he's still with us. Thanks for the update.

ThatNickGuy said:

Oh, I know. They not even remotely required to give us any kind of update and I don't expect them to. It'd still be nice to know how he's doing, though, you know?

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We'll find out when he posts, once the embarrassment wears off.
Yes, Chad, it's ok for you to post here again. You'll find we're supportive.

If you decide never to post here again, we'll support that as well, we just won't enjoy it as much.[DOUBLEPOST=1409330643,1409330595][/DOUBLEPOST]

Dirona said:

Y'all do know that patient ID/location information is publicly available right? (I used to work in hospitals.)

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No, we didn't, because Canada.
Over here, we have HIPAA, which basically says that if you tell anyone (other than the Government) about a patient or patient's info (including their room/phone number), your life will be ruined.

--Patrick

GasBandit said:

... that's some scary shit right there.

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In every hospital/health region I've worked for up here (that covers about a dozen hospitals in half the provinces), if you know the name of the person you're looking for, you can get their room number. Unless they requested to not be listed (which you can do upon admission or at any time during your stay). If you have a name and room number and sound like you're entitled to information, you can get some status information if you call the unit. *shrug* Not many people use this though, and only ever go to patient information if they're looking for a family member post-surgery or post-birth.

I'm now really curious if it works the same in the States. I would bet it does, but I may well be wrong.

EDIT: Canada has a HIPAA equivalent too (more than one IIRC), but it's medical record specific. Your presense (or not) in hospital doesn't fall under it, only clinical records.

And with that aside, we return to the previous topic at hand.

Chad/Leigh, I know you won't read this until you're better and I know you will be but know that many of us have been there, as you can see from this amazing thread and your own original post: There are people who love you here.

Genuinely love you. Not those who feel they have to be around you, or those using you for their own means, but real genuine love. If you feel weak, it can give you strength. Know this. If you feel like you are alone, it is how you know you're not. Know this. If you feel like you can't recover from where you've gone, it can be the shoulder you hold as you walk again. Know this.

I know I've been gone for a while, but there was a time you were a part of my daily life and I hopefully was a part of yours. I know, without a doubt you will grow from here, and be an even more amazing person than you were before and if my words have any meaning, that's saying something.

Shegokigo said:

shego appeared

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Ok, when Shego comes out of hiding, you know this was a major event!

Holy shit.[DOUBLEPOST=1409335976,1409335945][/DOUBLEPOST]Hey, Shegs, tell that brother of yours to come back!

Dave said:

Holy shit.

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Seconded!

Dave said:

Hey, Shegs, tell that brother of yours to come back!

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Also seconded!

Shegs! How you doing!

In my experience once you ask for the room number, they ask your relationship. Policy varies from hospital to hospital, but HIPAA doesn't prevent people from finding out which hospital someone is in, but most hospitals are very cautious about releasing information except to near kin.

stienman said:

In my experience once you ask for the room number, they ask your relationship. Policy varies from hospital to hospital, but HIPAA doesn't prevent people from finding out which hospital someone is in, but most hospitals are very cautious about releasing information except to near kin.

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Calling is another thing, too.. I was left with the impression from Dirona's post that she was able to just look up the last time Chad pooped on a website.

I've undergone HIPPA(Health Information Privacy and Portability Act, in case anyone didn't know) training multiple times as I worked in medical billing for 7 years. While it may be technically possible to get this information in the US by the strictest wording of HIPPA, most hospitals train to not release any information at all, even admit status. Under HIPPA in the US, even the info the Diorana just shared about Chad's status would fall under violation of the act.[DOUBLEPOST=1409337154,1409336835][/DOUBLEPOST]So, I guess I'm saying that I'm glad he's Canadian.

@Bones - The strange coincidence is that I had business in Houston so I stopped by to stay with my brother for the weekend and I was informed by a very good friend of what had happened. Right place wrong time I suppose.

@Dave - I dunno about him coming back, he's been pretty put off by what happened (the Jay debacle) and while on his break realized his toxic behavior (his own words) and feels it might have stemmed from being on here too much and the dealings he had with some individuals on a daily basis. I on the other hand did some lurking while back home but didn't post sadly.

@bhamv3 - I won't talk about the positive things in my life in this thread but I might take some time to resurface my previous thread and continue talking there. Good to see you too though.

Hey guys, this is Leigh's brother. My family and I can never thank you all enough for what you did for Leigh yesterday. With absolute certainty, you saved his life. I spent the day with him yesterday and I am going to see him again shortly, I will let him know about all of the support on here. Unfortunately it will probably be quite a while before Leigh will be able to access the internet and post again/read these, but I will be sure to let him know, or I will print this out or something.

It is amazing to know that when we can't always be there when Leigh needs us, and we live so close, that you guys can and will be. Again, thank you from my whole family, we are forever in your debt.

-Sam

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, this is Leigh's brother. My family and I can never thank you all enough for what you did for Leigh yesterday. With absolute certainty, you saved his life. I spent the day with him yesterday and I am going to see him again shortly, I will let him know about all of the support on here. Unfortunately it will probably be quite a while before Leigh will be able to access the internet and post again/read these, but I will be sure to let him know, or I will print this out or something.

It is amazing to know that when we can't always be there when Leigh needs us, and we live so close, that you guys can and will be. Again, thank you from my whole family, we are forever in your debt.

-Sam

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Give your brother all our best, and let him know we're all pulling for him.

GasBandit said:

Give your brother all our best, and let him know we're all pulling for him.

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What this guy said.

Thank you for coming on here to let us know.

We all love your brother so much and I'm glad you get to spend time with him. Wish him well from us all!

Thank you for coming here, Sam. We love your brother and understand he might not be around for a while. I'm looking forward to the day when he does come back to our online family. Until then, I'll be thinking of him.

Thank you for for coming here and letting us know. We all miss Leigh around here!

Thank you for the giving us an update, please let your brother know that we really do care for him and are all rooting for him.


@Shegokigo, I am glad to see that you are still alive and kicking and I hope you are doing splendidly!

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, this is Leigh's brother. My family and I can never thank you all enough for what you did for Leigh yesterday. With absolute certainty, you saved his life. I spent the day with him yesterday and I am going to see him again shortly, I will let him know about all of the support on here. Unfortunately it will probably be quite a while before Leigh will be able to access the internet and post again/read these, but I will be sure to let him know, or I will print this out or something.

It is amazing to know that when we can't always be there when Leigh needs us, and we live so close, that you guys can and will be. Again, thank you from my whole family, we are forever in your debt.

-Sam

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Thank you for the update. If he feels up for receiving letters through the mail, I'd really like to send one. If he just needs time to recover though, I understand.

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, this is Leigh's brother. My family and I can never thank you all enough for what you did for Leigh yesterday. With absolute certainty, you saved his life. I spent the day with him yesterday and I am going to see him again shortly, I will let him know about all of the support on here. Unfortunately it will probably be quite a while before Leigh will be able to access the internet and post again/read these, but I will be sure to let him know, or I will print this out or something.

It is amazing to know that when we can't always be there when Leigh needs us, and we live so close, that you guys can and will be. Again, thank you from my whole family, we are forever in your debt.

-Sam

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Did your dad get the email I sent (from David Nihsen)? I thought I might have written the numbers down wrong after his name.

And I'm so very, very thankful that he's going to be okay. Give your family our best. If there's anything you all need, we're here for you.

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, this is Leigh's brother. My family and I can never thank you all enough for what you did for Leigh yesterday. With absolute certainty, you saved his life. I spent the day with him yesterday and I am going to see him again shortly, I will let him know about all of the support on here. Unfortunately it will probably be quite a while before Leigh will be able to access the internet and post again/read these, but I will be sure to let him know, or I will print this out or something.

It is amazing to know that when we can't always be there when Leigh needs us, and we live so close, that you guys can and will be. Again, thank you from my whole family, we are forever in your debt.

-Sam

Click to expand...

Thank you and take care.

Thank you Sam. Feels good to get an update.

At the risk of turning this thread into a broken record, thank you Sam, we all greatly appreciate any news.

All my best to Leigh, to you and to the rest of your family.

Shakey said:

Thank you for the update. If he feels up for receiving letters through the mail, I'd really like to send one. If he just needs time to recover though, I understand.

Click to expand...

I think a good thing to do would be to send Dave all our cards/letters/gifts/what have you and have him send stuff in one big bundle of Halforum love.

Did I just get voluntold?

I can take up that responsibility, if you want.

Gusto said:

I can take up that responsibility, if you want.

Click to expand...

I just know I'd drop the ball. When it comes to mailing things out I'm TEEEEEEERIBLE.

Should we PM Gusto if we want to send something?

It was just a suggestion dad.

Yeah, PM me if you want to send something to Leigh.

Sam, let me know if/when you see this and we can work out timing and whatnot.

If there's enough interest I'll start a proper thread.[DOUBLEPOST=1409346787,1409346466][/DOUBLEPOST]

Gusto said:

Yeah, PM me if you want to send something to Leigh.

Sam, let me know if/when you see this and we can work out timing and whatnot.

If there's enough interest I'll start a proper thread.

Click to expand...

Actually hold off on PMing me for now, I'm gonna start and interest thread.

God dammit.... I step away for a couple days and then.... Jesus, y'all... great job.

@Chad Sexington, brother you know that all of us are here for you, and you are never, NEVER a burden if you need to talk.

Halforums, I have never been prouder to be a part of a community as I am right now, and that's counting my time in the Corps. Fantastic job by all involved.

Christ...

Dave said:

Did I just get voluntold?

Click to expand...

You're a Marine. You should know voluntold pretty well.

On a related note, I will happily give out my phone number to anyone on here who might want it, to feel free to call me anytime, day or night, if it means helping with a situation like this again...

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, this is Leigh's brother. My family and I can never thank you all enough for what you did for Leigh yesterday. With absolute certainty, you saved his life. I spent the day with him yesterday and I am going to see him again shortly, I will let him know about all of the support on here. Unfortunately it will probably be quite a while before Leigh will be able to access the internet and post again/read these, but I will be sure to let him know, or I will print this out or something.

It is amazing to know that when we can't always be there when Leigh needs us, and we live so close, that you guys can and will be. Again, thank you from my whole family, we are forever in your debt.

-Sam

Click to expand...

Thank you for the update. Please take good care of him and let him know we love him. Blessings to you and your family.

Since Sam promised to print these and read to Chad...

*coughs slightly and clears throat*

Potatoes browning
Freshly prepared curds await
Gentle gravy kiss

-----

A large container to make it all fit,
piled high with curds of cheese,
With gravy flowing it sure goes down with ease.

But if you eat too much of it,
As you'll be sure to find,
You'll lose your stomach and your head in a short amount in of time.

This experience was something to Jay you must devoir,
Until then, rest and get better, it's not a au revoir.

(devoir = debt)
(au revoir = goodbye)

*bows deeply*

I decided I need to do something. Monday is my birthday. I always joke around about online friends showering me with gifts. Well, this time maybe you can. On September 13 I am going to participate in an Out of the Darkness Community Walk to raise money for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. My goal is $200 of which I have donated $20 already. Leigh is not the only person in my life who has attempted to take their own life. I have lost several friends and family members including my maternal grandfather. My husband being in the military puts him at higher risk for suicide as well. So this is a cause that has personal meaning for me beyond what has occurred here recently.
The link is in my signature. Donations can be made through PayPal as well as credit cards. Of course you don't have to donate. I know some of you don't have cash to spare. Plus this is for an American foundation versus something more global, so if you feel put off by that fact it's ok. Maybe you can find a local charity you'd like to give time or money to.

Anyway, click the link if you feel so inclined. I'll have my sneakers ready to go on the 13th!

I don't see my own signature, so here is the link to my donation page in case it doesn't come up.

We would be happy to support you!

Thank you!

Go for the gold Wasabi, you got all of us urging you on.

Go for gold, you got my support!

Thank you all so much! I'm already at $160 and I have some friends outside of HF who are going to donate, too.

WasabiPoptart said:

Thank you all so much! I'm already at $160 and I have some friends outside of HF who are going to donate, too.

Click to expand...

I will donate Tuesday when I get paid.

HowDroll sent me a message getting me hip to this situation. I'm speechless, sad, concerned, and most importantly, in awe of the amazing show of care and humanity. Obviously it's all been said in the following pages, but Leigh, I'm so, so happy you're still here on this earth, as a wonderful human being. And I'm so, so happy that there is a community here at Halforums that has the heart and the soul to protect their own.

There's a Vonnegut line, "Still and all why bother?" which he answers with, "You are not alone." This dinky internet forum full of obsessive nerds has proven that.

Leigh, I believe in you.

HalForums, I'm proud and inspired by you.

Dave said:

I will donate Tuesday when I get paid.

Click to expand...

Ditto! Although I don't get paid until Wednesday or Thursday but I will definitely donate. Thanks for doing that Wasabi! Such a positive way to help handle this, I love it!

That's great. Also, as an update, I reached my goal overnight!! If you want to continue to donate to my walk you can. According to the information on the site, donations can be accepted through December 31st. If you can't spare the money before the date of the walk you can still give when you are able up to the end of the year.

Given recent events, I thought I might gaze 5 months backwards in time to the following forum thread:

I have no hope - Death preoccupies me

Perhaps there is something to be learned in there, something potentially useful for someone else's future.

--Patrick

PatrThom said:

Given recent events, I thought I might gaze 5 months backwards in time to the following forum thread:

I have no hope - Death preoccupies me

Perhaps there is something to be learned in there, something potentially useful for someone else's future.

--Patrick

Click to expand...

I totally missed that thread. I should have included it in the package of posts I sent his dad to give to the doctors.

I don't think I've been brought to tears here before..

Chad/Leigh, hang in there. There's always a place for you here if you need help.

And Halforumites, holy crap you guys are incredible. I have never seen anything this amazing before in any forum.

Hey guys, Sam here again. We've been pretty busy with everything, so while i have told him about what has happened on here, I have yet to print it, and as I sit here in his appt I am baffled that my brother, the family techy, apparently has no printer. As such it will be a while before i can bring one here or else find out his password to log on from home.

Dave, I think my dad did receive your email, he has just been busy with this all, I believe he was going to try and phone you today to give you an update and thanks.

And PatrThom, sorry i have no idea how this tagging thing works, and Dave, I will make sure that article is available to the doctors/my parents as well.

Aaaand as for mail, if you guys want to write real mail I can leave my address with one of you, or else email me at sam12johnson@gmail.com and I will print it for Leigh as he has no electronics.

Thank you all again.

-Sam

Thank you so much for keeping us up to date, Sam.

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, Sam here again. We've been pretty busy with everything, so while i have told him about what has happened on here, I have yet to print it, and as I sit here in his appt I am baffled that my brother, the family techy, apparently has no printer. As such it will be a while before i can bring one here or else find out his password to log on from home.

Dave, I think my dad did receive your email, he has just been busy with this all, I believe he was going to try and phone you today to give you an update and thanks.

And PatrThom, sorry i have no idea how this tagging thing works, and Dave, I will make sure that article is available to the doctors/my parents as well.

Aaaand as for mail, if you guys want to write real mail I can leave my address with one of you, or else email me at sam12johnson@gmail.com and I will print it for Leigh as he has no electronics.

Thank you all again.

-Sam

Click to expand...

What Cheesy said. Also, I can change the password so you can access it from anywhere. And if there's anything you guys need, feel free to ask. Any posts/emails/whatever you find I'll provide if you can't print them out.

Thank you very much Dave, Yeah if you could email me the new password and username (if that works?) that would be great, then I could show my mom how everyone responded, I know it would mean a lot to her, and it would be easier for me to update you guys.

-Sam

Thank you so much Sam! We really appreciate you taking time out of your days, which I'm sure are very crazy right now, to update us. Much love to you, your brother and your entire family.

Chad Sexington said:

And PatrThom, sorry i have no idea how this tagging thing works

Click to expand...

You precede the name with the at symbol ("@") and the name will automatically tagged (in fact, the forum software should start autosuggesting names it recognizes)...but I saw it.
Also, be sure to post here so we know who you are once you get your own account.

--Patrick

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, Sam here again. We've been pretty busy with everything, so while i have told him about what has happened on here, I have yet to print it, and as I sit here in his appt I am baffled that my brother, the family techy, apparently has no printer. As such it will be a while before i can bring one here or else find out his password to log on from home.

Dave, I think my dad did receive your email, he has just been busy with this all, I believe he was going to try and phone you today to give you an update and thanks.

And PatrThom, sorry i have no idea how this tagging thing works, and Dave, I will make sure that article is available to the doctors/my parents as well.

Aaaand as for mail, if you guys want to write real mail I can leave my address with one of you, or else email me at sam12johnson@gmail.com and I will print it for Leigh as he has no electronics.

Thank you all again.

-Sam

Click to expand...

Thank you very much for the updates Sam, I've e-mailed you the letter I had intended to send Leigh as soon as we got a mailing address determined.

All my best to you and all your family.

As everyone else has said, thank you for taking time to give us these updates.!

Appreciate the updates, Sam. Please let us know if there's anything else we can do. Best wishes to you and your family.

What everyone here has said. Thank you for taking the time to keep us in the loop. Take care of Leigh, take care of yourself and know that you and your family has our love and prayers.

I keep coming back here and each time I'm not sure what to say. @Chad Sexington, we love ya man. Spend your time getting better and we'll still be here if you need us.

Like everyone else has said, I'm very grateful for the updates.
And to Leigh/Chad, Sam, and the whole family - take care of yourselves, both individually and communally.
We're here if you want, or not if you don't.

@Chad Sexington you are loved. You are not alone.

Jumping on the bandwagon here to thank Sam for keeping us up to date.

@Chad Sexington, know that we're all rooting for you, and that this board is full of ears (er, you know what I mean) if you need them. We may not all be able to get back to you in a timely, but some of us will, and those of us who miss things are still 100% behind you.

Holy fuck I miss everything by relying so heavily on notifications from my phone and not actually actively browsing the forum more often. This gave me a real scare. I am so glad you guys were here to step in.
Chad, we love ya, man.

Just talked to Leigh's dad on the phone. The family again wants to express their thanks, but the rest of the conversation will remain private. Leigh is doing fine right now and whether he comes back or not, we wish he and the family well.

This is not Sam, but me, that is, Leigh, or Chad, or whatthehellever.

I've been browsing this thread for an hour or so. Certainly not what I expected to happen, if you'll forgive a little morbid understatement.

I may not have a chance to respond to some or any of the personal messages sent to me today, but I will, even if that is not until I am fully discharged from the hospital.

I cannot express, yet, or perhaps at all, what I am feeling for all of you and what has been done on my behalf, said to my family, and to me, both here and in private.

I am still technically hospitalised, and in the psych unit I am on, they do not permit electronics; some nurses say there are concerns about cords - but there are several heavy-duty cords around, so I am more inclined to believe the ones who say it is because of privacy concerns: so many things with cameras nowadays, and it can be a particularly sensitive ward to be in, of course.

However, today I am given a day-pass, so as long as I return by a certain time, I am out of the hospital for a little while, and at my apartment, and I can post here.

I don't really know what to say.

The evening of, and day after are quite fuzzy to me. I posted here, placed my written suicide note at the side of my bed, and overdosed. I went to 'sleep' afterward as normal, bothering even to brush my teeth.

From there it's a fog. My best friend's face, screaming about my hat, crying. I had some quite interesting things to say, evidently. Even funny, at times, the dark situation, and yet some of the things I desperately 'needed' to say: "The codes! The codes!" whatever that meant; I also gave my friend permission to pat my head, every day, for the rest of my life.

Currently, I am an inpatient at the University of Alberta Hospital, in their psych unit. I counsel with a psychiatrist every day, as well as check in with nurses (twice a day) about my mood and general state in-the-moment. Though my psychiatrist agrees the auditory hallucinations I experienced are not typical of depression (it is a 'psychotic' symptom), I haven't experienced any since reporting them here, and since my admission to the hospital about a week and a half ago. Unless I experience them again, fatigue and stress are considered the root cause. As a result, I am being treated for depression, specifically Major Depressive Disorder.

Pharmacologically, I am on the same antidepressant, but a changed sleeping medication - it doesn't seem to be working, but also it is just really hard to rest on an uncomfortable hospital bed with a noisy roommate, so we will see how things progress.

I have also begun to receive ECT - electroconvulsive therapy- which is something of a gold-standard in depression treatment. I've undergone two of ten-to-twelve treatments. It's quite an experience; very fascinating, and I'll post about it later.

Mood and behaviour wise I am feeling better -something observed well enough by my doctors for them to trust me to leave the hospital for the day.

I am reading a lot, and that has been good for me. I love to read, but in the last few months, that joy has somehow eluded me, or I have avoided it. It is good to rediscover.

I am bored a lot, and have starting keeping a log of how much money I can make playing solitaire. I'm up $220 as of last night, but was up $450 yesterday morning, so, you know.

I could be in the hospital for as little as two more days before being discharged (but continuing treatment and therapy as an outpatient) or as long as the end of the month, but my main psychiatrist thinks that the latter is unlikely.

I am going to spend some time with a friend and my parents for the rest of the day, but I will be back, whether it's Monday or later.

I will post more some time, both about this incident and my treatment, as well as some of my thoughts on myself and my, uhm, climactic behaviour, for anyone interested. I have much I want to say, as well as much to say that I feel is almost owed to you all.

As earlier noted, I am reeling with certain feelings I cannot quite express for this place and you all. Positive feelings, I promise.

Chad Sexington said:

I will post more some time, both about this incident and my treatment, as well as some of my thoughts on myself and my, uhm, climactic behaviour, for anyone interested.

Click to expand...

Can't wait.

--Patrick

Great to hear from you. Best wishes for you going forward!

I can't tell you how good it is to hear from you, Leigh. I am so very happy you are here...on the board and Here. I want to hug you - tightly and hard.

Stay safe, keep in touch and take it one step at a time.

So happy to hear from you. Go enjoy reading and being with loved ones. We will be here.

Great to hear from you, man. Enjoy your day!

Great to hear from you

It's great to hear from you man, like really, really great. Keep on raking in that sweet solitaire dough and reading, thats good stuff there.

Great to see you on here, Chad.

The dork in me wonders how many Alerts you must have had pending.

Holy cow, it's Chad!

It's good to hear from you and what's been going on.

Every day for the last little while I've been hoping to log on and see a message from you. So happy right now. Welcome back my friend, we've kept your seat warm. Don't rush anything, we'll be here.

It's great to see you post again, CS!

HOORAY FOR CHAD! also on a personal note, dont let them push that ECT on you, if it doesnt start helping immediately, had a few friends get "fried" by over zealous doctors!

So glad to see you posting, even if just for today! And glad to hear that you are enjoying old hobbies again!

I'm glad that you're back and feeling better. Take your time and come back when it's right for you. We'll be waiting with open arms.

Out-fucking-standing!

So glad to hear that you're able to post and you're feeling a bit better... I hope that your levelling-out is ot too arduous, and you're able to continue to take joy in reading and relaxing for a while.

Best wishes, brother, and it is outstanding to hear from you again.

Yaaaay

Very happy to see the Sexington back in his place! You worry about you, we'll keep the lights on for you.

Man, you were missed, and it is so damn good hear from you. I hope the treatments help, and just remember there's a lot of people here rooting for you.

I'm glad you're doing better. I don't know what to say that won't sound disingenuous or scmultzy, so I'll just say I'm glad you're safe and that you're getting the help you need.

I look forward to the day you can fully bring the sexy back.

Glad to see you feeling (a bit at least) better.

Chad Sexington said:

and my, uhm, climactic behaviour

Click to expand...

I think that's the most awesome euphemism for that I've ever seen.

Zero Esc said:

The dork in me wonders how many Alerts you must have had pending.

Click to expand...

Of course. You were the ONLY one thinking of that...

How else are we suppose to know how to make love to a woman with our Chad?

ECT is some serious shit, but it's also really effective. This should help you massively.

In any case, you got a lot of people waiting to hear more from you. Don't disappoint.

So glad to hear from you! Don't worry; take your time. We'll always be here for you.

I haven't said a lot mostly because I didn't know what to say. But I do hope this is the start on the road to recovery and good changes in your life. You know full well we're all here rooting for you.

I am very happy to hear from you. And although I am sure you already know it we are all rooting for you.

Thanks for the update. Take your time and take it one day at a time.

What have you been reading?

Glad to hear it Chad, just take it slow and steady.

Zero Esc said:

Great to see you on here, Chad.

The dork in me wonders how many Alerts you must have had pending.

Click to expand...

About the average number for anyone who posts cute or funny gifs regularly, I'd imagine


Chad, glad you're back. Glad to hear you're feeling better (not "good" necessarily, but better than then, at any rate). Hope you'll be able to hang on to the joy of reading. Be well, and be back.

Glad you're still with us.

Glad to hear from you Chad, and looking forward to many more posts.

Emrys said:

We're Canadians. We only punch people during hockey.
The standard procedure is to buy each other Tim Horton's coffee and talk about the government/hockey/winter/crazy Americans/summer road work/hockey.

Click to expand...

I am a bad Canadian; I don't like hockey or Tim Horton's.

PatrThom said:

I know I'm FAR too rational to be a good choice for cheering up. I've always felt that it's better to tell someone, "You're OK" and mean it than it is to tell them, "You're wonderful!" and not. I don't know if this was some sort of "Let's see if anybody actually cares about me" test (if it was, I hope we passed!) or a genuine belief that the world was somehow being harmed by his (your) continued existence (Spoiler alert: It wasn't), but it's certainly going to have lasting repercussions either way--for him, for us, for many people on the periphery as well.
I remember feeling bad that I didn't find out about this sooner, that I didn't do enough (could I have made a difference?), worrying whether I was feeling an appropriate amount of panic over a stranger on the Internet that I've never met (who is still a human being, mind you), and just generally feeling like, aside from a text or two, my contribution to this entire incident was insignificant. I help people all the time on this forum and give (generally) useful advice on one subject or another, but I was caught completely flat-footed by this morning's events: tardy, unaware, ineffective, and helpless to assist.
...though later, I decided that this is actually a good thing. This is a thing I do not wish to practice, do not want to gain levels in, do not desire to perfect. Do you hear me, Halforums? These are not skills I wish to develop. Help me continue to suck at reacting to these remote crises by not making a habit of this sort of behavior. I want to be completely unprepared due to lack of exposure. That is all.
--Patrick

Click to expand...

This is not unlike me, in many ways. I am often very (too?) pragmatic, which has, on occasion, given some people the sense that I am cold-blooded, while I consider it more sang-froid.

Simfers said:

I am in awe at the strength and humanity on display by this community right now. I'm absolutely serious, I'm all choked up. I'm immensely proud to call myself a Halforumite.
Leigh, I know you don't know me from Adam, but I'm damn glad you're still with us. And if you're ever in Ottawa, drop me a line and I'll buy you all the TimBits you can eat, buddy.

Click to expand...

Ottawa is one of my favourite cities on the planet, but I don't have much of a sweet tooth, so I'll make you buy me all the coffee I can drink... Which is all of the coffee.

HowDroll said:

You and I never talked a ton when I was really active here, but your posts often entertain me and I seriously think you have one of the best usernames on the internet.
You seem like a really, genuinely good person, and I am so sorry that life is treating you like shit right now. Please know that you are loved by many people and respected by even more. You have lots and lots of people -- myself included -- who are very glad you are still with us and are in your corner wishing you a speedy recovery. I hope someday you and I can meet up at a HF event and get scotch drunk together

Click to expand...

We will get scotch drunk. Also, you have to give all the username glory to @phil who is mostly responsible for it.

Dirona said:

Y'all do know that patient ID/location information is publicly available right? (I used to work in hospitals.)
Anyways, apparently he's sleeping right now, but was awake and had breakfast this morning. According to a nurse on the unit I just talked to.

Click to expand...

This is crazy. I had no idea you could do that.

Shegokigo said:

Chad/Leigh, I know you won't read this until you're better and I know you will be but know that many of us have been there, as you can see from this amazing thread and your own original post: There are people who love you here.
Genuinely love you. Not those who feel they have to be around you, or those using you for their own means, but real genuine love. If you feel weak, it can give you strength. Know this. If you feel like you are alone, it is how you know you're not. Know this. If you feel like you can't recover from where you've gone, it can be the shoulder you hold as you walk again. Know this.
I know I've been gone for a while, but there was a time you were a part of my daily life and I hopefully was a part of yours. I know, without a doubt you will grow from here, and be an even more amazing person than you were before and if my words have any meaning, that's saying something.

Click to expand...

Sometimes I am concerned I cannot feel loved; this is certainly a symptom of my depression, but it can be very disturbing and emptying as it results in my inability to feel the strength of others' support. Nevertheless, the repetition of it does reinforce the knowledge that when I may not feel loved, I am wrong.

Chad Sexington said:

Hey guys, Sam here again. We've been pretty busy with everything, so while i have told him about what has happened on here, I have yet to print it, and as I sit here in his appt I am baffled that my brother, the family techy, apparently has no printer.

Click to expand...

I just want it on record that I do have a printer, but it's in the closet because I have no good spot to put it at the moment. Also I have no ink for it.

PatrThom said:

Given recent events, I thought I might gaze 5 months backwards in time to the following forum thread:
I have no hope - Death preoccupies me
Perhaps there is something to be learned in there, something potentially useful for someone else's future.
--Patrick

Click to expand...

Oh yeah.

Zero Esc said:

The dork in me wonders how many Alerts you must have had pending.

Click to expand...

Not many; 3 or 4, since my brother was logging onto my account once in a while.

Jay said:

Thanks for the update. Take your time and take it one day at a time.
What have you been reading?

Click to expand...

Mainly Dostoyevsky (he is my favourite author): Netochka Nezvanova and The Adolescent, the latter of which I am about halfway through. I've also been reading The New Yorker and The Economist.

... At the risk of sounding snarklicious, is Russian literature REALLY what you'd like to be reading right now as you climb back from a serious depressive episode? *wry smile*

I'm glad that you're getting to a point where you can look at stuff analytically again... I know that when I have my troughs, I know I'm on the road to recovery when I can start thinking coldly, rather than emotionally again.

Keep plugging away, brother. And you know that just about each and every one of us would and will be willing to listen and talk, any time, any place.

Officer_Charon said:

... At the risk of sounding snarklicious, is Russian literature REALLY what you'd like to be reading right now as you climb back from a serious depressive episode? *wry smile*.

Click to expand...

I know, right? I find it wonderful in its intensity, and Dostoevsky has this way of creating such passionate, real characters whose thoughts and actions can, to an eerie degree, mirror my own. In The Adolescent, a character kills himself, and the shock and emotional response of the narrator, as well as his reactions to the behaviour of those around him, is a weird perspective to recognise immediately after a suicide attempt. I wonder that it hasn't been good for me, though macabre. At all events, The Adolescent is not nearly so dark as Crime and Punishment or Demons, and is even sometimes very funny.

The Grand Inquisitor is always good.

Chad Sexington said:

I am a bad Canadian; I don't like hockey or Tim Horton's.

Click to expand...

Neither do I but I won't tell if you won't tell.

Glad you're ok, buddy!

Chad Sexington said:

I know, right? I find it wonderful in its intensity, and Dostoevsky has this way of creating such passionate, real characters whose thoughts and actions can, to an eerie degree, mirror my own. In The Adolescent, a character kills himself, and the shock and emotional response of the narrator, as well as his reactions to the behaviour of those around him, is a weird perspective to recognise immediately after a suicide attempt. I wonder that it hasn't been good for me, though macabre. At all events, The Adolescent is not nearly so dark as Crime and Punishment or Demons, and is even sometimes very funny.

Click to expand...

The First Law, mate.

Get it, live it.

Chad Sexington said:

This is not unlike me, in many ways. I am often very (too?) pragmatic, which has, on occasion, given some people the sense that I am cold-blooded, while I consider it more sang-froid.

Click to expand...

"sang froid" is literally French for "cold blood."

I meant more that some people seem to think that the proper response to being glum or depressed is to lie to you "for your own good," or throw you an irrationally exuberant party to force your happiness/self-esteem up to some kind of minimum functional level, as if you have some kind of "happiness tank" that simply runs low and needs to be topped up from time to time. These are probably the same people who think that turning your thermostat up to 90 will warm your house up faster in Winter.

Personally, I do not suffer from chronic depression, I am merely chronically depressed, which is different. Therefore, I have no first-hand experience with your condition. I also know that people on this forum do not always present themselves as they actually are, which means that since I have not met you in person, I do not know which facets of your personality you choose to emphasize and which ones you suppress. Given the events, I can make some guesses, but in-person confirmation is difficult, and therefore unlikely.

Still, it is good to hear from you again, and I look forward to hearing more from you than the occasional goofy sentence.

--Patrick

ThatNickGuy said:

I haven't said a lot mostly because I didn't know what to say. But I do hope this is the start on the road to recovery and good changes in your life. You know full well we're all here rooting for you.

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What he said.

Jay said:

The First Law, mate.

Get it, live it.

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This.

Glad to hear from you Chad.

Glad to see you back on, Chad. If you ever want to talk about anything or everything, we're always here.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I'm still doing the Out of the Darkness Community Walk on Saturday which supports the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention which not only does research into suicide prevention and public awareness campaigns, but also funds advocacy for public policy and offers resources for survivors. So far I have raised $240! If you want to donate there is still plenty of time. The link to my fundraising page is in my signature or you can go here.

Thanks!

PatrThom said:

"sang froid" is literally French for "cold blood."

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Yes, I know; but the French expression means dispassionate, objective, or cool under pressure, whereas in English we view cold-blooded as something/someone callous and cruel. I was trying to be funny!

Chad Sexington said:

Yes, I know; but the French expression means dispassionate, objective, or cool under pressure, whereas in English we view cold-blooded as something/someone callous and cruel. I was trying to be funny!

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I couldn't tell. You seemed so objective.

--Patrick

I am discharged, as of a few hours ago today, and will continue to receive treatments as an outpatient... Beyond that, I am feeling a lot better than I was two weeks ago. I have more to write/say but for now I'm going to do some much needed clean up around my apartment and water some neglected plants.

Chad Sexington said:

I have more to write/say

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Me too. "I'm glad you're back" just doesn't seem to cut it.

Chad Sexington said:

I am discharged, as of a few hours ago today, and will continue to receive treatments as an outpatient... Beyond that, I am feeling a lot better than I was two weeks ago. I have more to write/say but for now I'm going to do some much needed clean up around my apartment and water some neglected plants.

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Glad to hear it!

Chad Sexington said:

I'm going to do some much needed clean up around my apartment and water some neglected plants.

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There's nothing wrong with taking care of plants. I actually find it quite amazing when I bring them back when they were "droopy" for a while from my own neglect.

On that note, our indoor herb garden is actually growing things. Woot!

Just remember, that we're all here for you man.

Like.

WasabiPoptart said:

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.

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Seriously? That's the day another friend (IRL this time) OD'd and tried to, well, take an exit. He's fine now, supposedly, but they're keeping him a while.

Don't mean to derail, but it's related. His was a little more impulsive due to a girl, though, and less brought on by months of depression.

doomdragon6 said:

Seriously? That's the day another friend (IRL this time) OD'd and tried to, well, take an exit. He's fine now, supposedly, but they're keeping him a while.

Don't mean to derail, but it's related. His was a little more impulsive due to a girl, though, and less brought on by months of depression.

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Yes, not only was today World Suicide Prevention Day, but this is actually suicide prevention week. I'm glad your friend is alive and will hopefully get help.

http://arstechnica.com/staff/2014/10/harnessing-depression-one-ars-writers-journey/

I found this article informative and insightful, and timely.
I also figured this would be the best place to leave it where others can see it who might not otherwise happen across it.
I wholly endorse the reading of it.

--Patrick