I just witnessed a domestic dispute

Status
Not open for further replies.
Ok, I just want to get this out because I am still on edge.

I was sitting in my apartment, watching my DvD of QI when I suddenly heard a woman screaming. Not the playful type of scream, but a scream of abject terror. It sounded like it was coming from the parking lot outside of my apartment. I looked out, but saw nothing immediately. I could still hear her, though. After a few seconds, I see a man dragging a woman across the parking lot. When I say "dragging" I mean it in the very real, her legs were scraping along the ground, DRAG. This man then proceeds to try and stuff the woman into the passenger side of a dark colored car. She struggled with him and got away briefly. He caught her again, though, and then picked her up and carried her off. They went through the walkway of the building behind mine and the screaming stopped.

I started getting dressed in order to go down and investigate or at least get the license plate number of the car. I was not fast enough, though, as when I looked out my window again, I saw him back at the car, this time succeeding in stuffing her into the passenger side. He was able to get to the drivers side and start the car. At that point, I saw my neighbors across the street start chasing after him. I joined. By the time we got out to the entrance to the complex, a police car was there and was directed towards the car. The cops were able to pull them over and got the woman out. Both of them had bruises and marks on them, but I can say with fairly good certainty that anything he had was from her trying to defend herself.

It turns out that these two are dating and have gone through this sort of thing before. Only last time, she dropped the charges. The cops separated them and eventually let the man go. We all wrote out statements for the police. She swears she won't drop the charges this time, but only time will tell on that.

The thing that gets me is, I didn't call the police. Thankfully, my neighbors did, but I reacted too slowly. That bothers me.

Also, another thing that bothers me (and I probably shouldn't even be mentioning) is that this woman stayed with this asshole after this went on once before already and I can't even get a girl to answer my emails.
 
A

Andromache

at least you reacted instead of closing the window and turning up the music. You sir, are a hero.

And FYI? Email? Dude. Go outside, and talk to the wimminz. Well, not right now. That'd be a creepy thing this late. But you know the drill.
 
You investigated, tried to get a number, gave a statement to the police. That's exactly what you CAN do to help. This isn't a comic book. You participated to make sure the authorities got involved, instead of turning a blind eye. You can't control where it goes from here.

Also, A's exactly right - meet women face to face. Ironic coming from me, I know. But any decent relationship I've had, started in person.
 
Ok, yes, I understand, meet girls face-to-face. Problem is; I hate bars, am a self-diagnosed agoraphobic (or maybe more accurately just a case of Social Anxiety), and am terribly shy in real life. I am working on that, but it is a slow process. That is not the point of this, though.
 
Yeah, but since the other point is already covered, let's work on the other one. I hate to admit it, but you're a nice guy with a good heart. Get to know a few people and that might take you places.
 
A

Andromache

you two dudes should go road tripping together and co-help each other get over your shit. Maybe go to a comic nerd con.
 
Did I ever tell you guys about the dream I had where I camperized an old School bus and declared it the Halforums-mobile? I drove it from Newfoundland, through the US, Mexico ... down down down south. The goal was Argentina, and many a Halforumite journeyed with me.

Your road trip idea just reminded me.
 
About once a month I have to call the cops on my next door apartment neighbors. Many a times I have saw her with bruising on her face yet she always stays with him and doesn't press charges. The last time it happened the guy and a "cousin" were fighting in the parking lot the "cousin" was in a car and the neighbor (guy) was not and they were yelling at each other. I'm thinking the guy in the car pulled a gun because I hear "This is how we do it in *the guys city here*, bitch!" they yell some more then the guy goes back inside and starts laying into his wife. Called the cops they came and knocked on the door and the neighbors house went quiet for like 5 minutes while the cops kept knocking eventually they opened the door. The guy got arrested because he had a warrant (which i knew about but could never get the cops there to arrest him because he would never answer the door for anyone). Long story short they're still together, I feel sorry for the neighbor and I hope I never have to defend her life (which would only happen if the above mention story happened).
 
On the one hand, a road trip with me, Gen, and Cheezy might be fun. On the other, we're already kind of the same person and that might cause a quantum paradox.
 
You did the right thing by following them. The absolute worst thing to do is nothing. Sadly, it's not uncommon for battered women to go straight back to their abusive boyfriend or husband. Their logic is filled with so many twists and turns and cul de sacs that I can't keep up. Abused women tend to behave in the most irrational manner; just look at how The Psycho treated me.

One time I saw a domestic dispute and intervened. I got into one little fight but my Mom got scared and said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."
 
Man, Gen, you sure get yourself into some legal/moral quandaries, don't you?

Anyways, don't doubt yourself. You tried to help, you did the right thing. If you have a cellphone, next time (not that I hope there's one) grab it on your way out the door, multitask! But you did good, man.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
I'm sure you wouldn't want a girl LIKE THAT writing you e-mails. It's all about quality, my friend.
Well said. Most of the women who stay with the assholes are the ones who are so scared of being alone that they'll be with anyone... it doesn't matter who. Man I REALLY hope she doesn't drop those charges.

---------- Post added at 03:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:17 AM ----------

And GP, that's freakin scary. I probably wouldn't have reacted that quickly either, just because of the shock. You never think you're actually going to be around to witness something like that.
 
I think you did the right thing.

The only thing I would add to it is if you're not a cop of some kind and don't have an omniscient certainty the guy doesn't have a weapon, you should stay up high, call the police, and make sure you can give them as much info as you can, like which way the guy goes, his description, what's happening, etc.

I know that sounds cowardly, but you never know if a guy is carrying a weapon and stupid enough to use it, and the best hand-to-hand in the world never stopped a guy with a gun and 10 feet to aim it with.
 
If my experiences have taught me anything is that after today, she will not cooperate and she will not leave him. They never fucking do.
 
You did the right thing by following them. The absolute worst thing to do is nothing. Sadly, it's not uncommon for battered women to go straight back to their abusive boyfriend or husband. Their logic is filled with so many twists and turns and cul de sacs that I can't keep up. Abused women tend to behave in the most irrational manner; just look at how The Psycho treated me.

One time I saw a domestic dispute and intervened. I got into one little fight but my Mom got scared and said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."
It's too bad General Specific is shy/anxious/agoraphobic or he could stalk the girl and bother her constantly until she got over her abusive boyfriend and told him to go away.
 
C

Chazwozel

If my experiences have taught me anything is that after today, she will not cooperate and she will not leave him. They never fucking do.

Yeah, I'm hoping my daughter never gets involved with someone like that. I'd sure hate to go to jail for murder.
 
If my experiences have taught me anything is that after today, she will not cooperate and she will not leave him. They never fucking do.

Yeah, I'm hoping my daughter never gets involved with someone like that. I'd sure hate to go to jail for murder.[/QUOTE]

I have a friend who's father spent some time in prison. He used to deal drugs or something, and long story short he got arrested, went to jail for a few years, and then got deported, or something. I don't know the whole story.

The point of the story is that he warns all of her potential suitors that he is not afraid to go to jail again. And when you can say 'again' you demand to be taken seriously.
 
It's too bad General Specific is shy/anxious/agoraphobic or he could stalk the girl and bother her constantly until she got over her abusive boyfriend and told him to go away.
He could carve her initials into his leg. That will show his commitment.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top