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I thought I would create a more interesting thread. Since many of the denizens on here come from diverse backgrounds.
What type of business would you guys run and what possible positions due to your experience would you guys work in.

Perhaps this could turn into some type of roleplay thread as well.

As a translator and interpreter between English and Chinese, my role in this as-yet undecided business would be to help Halforums Co. break into the Chinese market.

Would these be businesses that we would own or would we just run them?

If the teaching thing gets old, I'd love to run a little breakfast place.

My dream is to start and run my very own microbrew pub.

Own a brewery. I already brew 1 or 2 times a week, I might as well step it up and get paid for it.

Snuffleupagus said:

Own a brewery. I already brew 1 or 2 times a week, I might as well step it up and get paid for it.

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Werd. The only problem is getting a loan and all the friggin liquor regulations. Ugh, I hate PA.

See, I thought this would be us banding together to start an official Halforums business.

Which I thought would be a factory that produces memetic fortune cookies. Ones that have a fortune start out, then Kanye interrupts to declare that Confucious did the best fortune cookies of ALL TIME! Or ones that were long scrolls of the longcat image or Better Nate then Lever, etc.

Chazwozel;348578][QUOTE=Snuffleupagus said:

Own a brewery. I already brew 1 or 2 times a week, I might as well step it up and get paid for it.

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Werd. The only problem is getting a loan and all the friggin liquor regulations. Ugh, I hate PA.[/QUOTE]

MD isn't much better. Getting a liquor license involves a several year waiting list. Not to mention if I did get it worked out I have to convince a seperate distributor to buy my product without ever actually talking to a liquor store or bar.

/sigh

Software development for the social sciences or psychology consulting for education.

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General Specific said:

See, I thought this would be us banding together to start an official Halforums business.

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I did too, at first.

You'd all work for Halforum. A business that dabbles in a lot of things. Sort of like a megacorporation.
Benefits and well paid salaries included. Like what department you'd feel comfortable in.
Medical benefits included: usual 401(k) yadda yadda yadda

Ahhh... the Fine Foods division, or maybe Human Resources. I could be the Toby of halforums, but less boring and misfortune-prone.

Can we have dental?

I'm the janitor with a heart of gold and Broadway aspirations.

I guess I could be the IO psychologist on staff. I'd manage things like efficiency and happiness in the work place and assessing productivity for raises/bonuses, etc. Not really my field but if I had an internal position in Halforum Corp., that'd be the best fit for me.

Is there a place where I could start building my army of irradiated peasoup-mutated squirrel super soldiers?

That would have to fall under a black op section of the research and development for the miitary.
Most of these developments would have to be for the benefit of mankind though.

We need to elect the ceo of this business, and other positions for the higher ups.

Well, Dave would have to be our leader, of course. Ame would be the Exceutive VP of Keeping Everything Running, from there, I dunno.

I can cook (a little) and bake. So can either run the kitchen with Cajungal or have a bakery.

Chibibar said:

I can cook (a little) and bake. So can either run the kitchen with Cajungal or have a bakery.

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Can I yell at you like that horrible British guy? KNEAD THE DOUGH, DAMN YOU!

Cajungal;348611][QUOTE=Chibibar said:

I can cook (a little) and bake. So can either run the kitchen with Cajungal or have a bakery.

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Can I yell at you like that horrible British guy? KNEAD THE DOUGH, DAMN YOU![/QUOTE]

You best stay clear of my pea soup, woman, or I'm gonna slap a toad in the hole in your face, I will!

Unionize.

North_Ranger;348612][QUOTE=Cajungal;348611][QUOTE=Chibibar said:

I can cook (a little) and bake. So can either run the kitchen with Cajungal or have a bakery.

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Can I yell at you like that horrible British guy? KNEAD THE DOUGH, DAMN YOU![/QUOTE]

You best stay clear of my pea soup, woman, or I'm gonna slap a toad in the hole in your face, I will![/QUOTE]

I don't know if I feel threatened or sexually harassed. Blackcat, can you direct me to HR?

Well I suppose I could work in the PC repair section of the business unless of course we had a video game store section than I could run that very well.

I can be part of the translation/international department.

Halforums would be one of those giant conglomerations that runs a bunch of little businesses under different names. Research divisions (Jake, Chaz, Ross), media and entertainment (every AOTM, plus a bevy of programmers to run massive websites, which is where I would most likely fall), food services as mentioned, etc.

More importantly, there would be a seedy underbelly (This is the damndest term - who gets seeds on their underbelly? That's just nasty.) which would be primarily involved in information manipulation. This group would dedicate themselves to making sure that no information was presented without counterpoint commentary, typically designed to not only argue the original information, but to actually change the subject altogether, until no one can figure out just what the Hell the original topic was to begin with. This means at least four or five of us will be in Congress.

Oh, and porn. Definitely porn.

I can look wistfully at a receptionist.

^It took far too long for someone to mention that.

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The porn, not the wistful looking.

Cajungal;348611][QUOTE=Chibibar said:

I can cook (a little) and bake. So can either run the kitchen with Cajungal or have a bakery.

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Can I yell at you like that horrible British guy? KNEAD THE DOUGH, DAMN YOU![/QUOTE]

Ahem. My job.

Snuffleupagus;348581][QUOTE=Chazwozel;348578][QUOTE=Snuffleupagus said:

Own a brewery. I already brew 1 or 2 times a week, I might as well step it up and get paid for it.

Click to expand...

Werd. The only problem is getting a loan and all the friggin liquor regulations. Ugh, I hate PA.[/QUOTE]

MD isn't much better. Getting a liquor license involves a several year waiting list. Not to mention if I did get it worked out I have to convince a seperate distributor to buy my product without ever actually talking to a liquor store or bar.

/sigh[/QUOTE]

I homebrew too and I've often thought about going pro since there is a serious lack of good beer here in Arizona. Plus I would have a line of native inspired drinks since this region had dozens of drinks prehistorically I think I could get some decent tourism money from that.

And Arizona is ok overall for starting a business like that, except that I've heard there is a 5,000 gal sales minimum to maintain the license each year. Which isn't bad if you are an established, but would be killer for a start up.


As for haflorums I guess I'd be the cultural mitigation specialist for whatever land development we did.

Shannow said:

Unionize.

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THREAD LOCK'D!

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With all the food talk and beer talk, maybe Halforums could be a homey pub.

Truck-stop strip club.

One thing that is not permitted about this company is a union. Case Closed.
We need some human resource people though.

I'd most likely fall under adverstising in the digital media spectre department.

Jake said:

Truck-stop strip club.

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I don't think we have enough C-Sections for that.

Shannow said:

Unionize.

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UUUUUNNNNNNIIIIOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Dud this will not be a union company okay?
You can be security if you want

Where would you categorize someone with an expansive knowledge of film and the motion picture industry, with aspirations to be a film director?

filmfanatic said:

Where would you categorize someone with an expansive knowledge of film and the motion picture industry, with aspirations to be a film director?

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Waiter.

EDIT: Actually, that's unfair and not taking advantage of your knowledge.

Video store clerk.

filmfanatic said:

Where would you categorize someone with an expansive knowledge of film and the motion picture industry, with aspirations to be a film director?

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Call center agitator.

filmfanatic said:

Where would you categorize someone with an expansive knowledge of film and the motion picture industry, with aspirations to be a film director?

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You could make our commercials.

I'll be the Vice President of Engineering and Procurement General, because everyone knows the job of of General is to God damn get things done. I'm also in charge of the Sheep Dip.

Guys guys guys we aren't a fucking union
You get enough coverage benefits anyhoo

I want this place unionized so I can be the union rep and not do any actual work.

Gruebeard said:

I want this place unionized so I can be the union rep and not do any actual work.

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Our VP of Human Resources would be more than happy to discuss your unionization recommendations. Would you please have a seat in Room D-1E and Ms Shego will see you shortly.

I'm about to go into my last year of law school, specializing mainly in contract and corporate law (Fucking state hiring freeze)

I WILL BE YOUR SHARK

Cajungal;348780][QUOTE=filmfanatic said:

Where would you categorize someone with an expansive knowledge of film and the motion picture industry, with aspirations to be a film director?

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You could make our commercials.[/QUOTE]
Right ahead of you, boss.


Halforums, Inc.:
The Big Business with a Big Heart

I would manufacture the six demon bags. Fire, wind, that kind of thing.

filmfanatic;348851][QUOTE=Cajungal;348780][QUOTE=filmfanatic said:

Where would you categorize someone with an expansive knowledge of film and the motion picture industry, with aspirations to be a film director?

Click to expand...

You could make our commercials.[/QUOTE]
Right ahead of you, boss.


Halforums, Inc.:
The Big Business with a Big Heart[/QUOTE]

I'm giving you a raise! I'm a chef... I have that power.

Cajungal, you forgot to put a cover sheet on your salary adjustment form for Employee Fanatic. Please remember to include a cover sheet, that ain't new baby!

God damn I had forgotten about those Terry Tate videos.

Deschain said:

I DON'T KNOW WHAT BUSINESS WE'D BE IN, BUT I KNOW WE WOULD SPECIALIZE IN ONE THING...

UNIONNNNNNNNNNNS!

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.

I would like to be in charge of reviewing TPS report protocol. Ensuring proper cover sheets are used and that MLA is used.

I would probably be the one that moved stock in the warehouse and filled orders on time.

Oh, fuck this, guys!


We gotta stand tall against this shitty management and their banker fatcats! No unions!? What, they afraid of giving us a living wage!? treating us like humanss, and not animals too much for thier BOTTOM LINE!!??


WE GOTTA STRIKE!!

Oh jeez, it's Newsies all over again. Get me when the musical number is over.

I'm good at...watching sports?
Yeah. I'll do that.

Cajungal;348857][QUOTE=filmfanatic;348851][QUOTE=Cajungal;348780][QUOTE=filmfanatic said:

Where would you categorize someone with an expansive knowledge of film and the motion picture industry, with aspirations to be a film director?

Click to expand...

You could make our commercials.[/QUOTE]
Right ahead of you, boss.


Halforums, Inc.:
The Big Business with a Big Heart[/QUOTE]

I'm giving you a raise! I'm a chef... I have that power.[/QUOTE]

That's a souffle, m'dear.

mr_thehun said:

I nominate Chaz as the new office Line backer and Union crusher. Don't want any of that union crap on the factory floor.

Me? International sales focusing on Japan, China and Korea. (since I can speak passible Japanese & Chinese and I can sort of flirt with girls in Korean or insult their grandmothers, something like that. Funny story, when I started dating my wife I would always mispronounce her name and call her a gorrilla, I would also call breasts bears and to top it off I would ask for a watery vagina when I wanted a sprite... don't ask me what happend when I asked a. Thankfully my mandarin has improved considerably.)

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In your defense, it's actually quite easy to mix up Sprite and watery vagina in Mandarin Chinese. I've done it a few times.

I'll fill the role of bored security guard working the lobby.

strip club front for some criminal dealings, maybe?

I'll be the Annoying Strip Club DJ who gives even more insulting nicknames to the strippers.

I'm a historian specializing in 18th and 19th century naval warfare and piracy. What can I do?

mr_thehun said:

I nominate Chaz as the new office Line backer and Union crusher. Don't want any of that union crap on the factory floor.

Me? International sales focusing on Japan, China and Korea. (since I can speak passible Japanese & Chinese and I can sort of flirt with girls in Korean or insult their grandmothers, something like that. Funny story, when I started dating my wife I would always mispronounce her name and call her a gorrilla, I would also call breasts bears and to top it off I would ask for a watery vagina when I wanted a sprite... don't ask me what happend when I asked a. Thankfully my mandarin has improved considerably.)

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I'm the Union BAWWWSSSS BIATCH!!!!!

.

I so want to print out that last one and take it to a real strike, with the COMPANY NAME HERE intact.

IronBrig4 said:

I'm a historian specializing in 18th and 19th century naval warfare and piracy. What can I do?

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Learn to ask "Do you want fries with that?"

Or I could be the office pirate. A functioning business should have a resident pirate to drive the ninja and bandits away. You'll also be needin' me to plunder the Dago galleons! Who else can do yer pillagin' and plunderin'?

I agree with the idea that Halforums would be a large multi-conglomerate of separate business divisions that do different things in different industries.

I also think we'd be a lot like Veridian Dynamics, and be completely @#$%in' crazy.

I'd be the Guy Who Cheats the Vending Machines. For my second hat, I'd be SVP of Media Research.

For my third hat, I would have Canada.

TeKeo said:

I also think we'd be a lot like Veridian Dynamics, and be completely @#$%in' crazy.

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TeKeo said:

For my third hat, I would have Canada.

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P)

I have the perfect name for the business, too.

Vandelay Industries

IronBrig4 said:

Or I could be the office pirate. A functioning business should have a resident pirate to drive the ninja and bandits away. You'll also be needin' me to plunder the Dago galleons! Who else can do yer pillagin' and plunderin'?

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You could handle the Hostile Takeover of Webcomics.com

We'd charge less than $35....