Man there are so many issues with this relationship, a little amateur psychology here (it's cool I took an intro to psychology course). The co-dependence in this relationship is smothering and I am not even physically near it. You are being used, she is an emotional succubus man, it's horrible to think of her like that I know but from what you have described it's hard not to see it. She was in an "abusive" relationship and you were there for her, shit why wouldn't things be better with you. Now that she know's your a nice guy it's her turn to be the abuser, and why not she was controlled for so long she should be able to have a little control right? FUCKING WRONG, she should be seeking help to cope with whatever it is you pulled her out of. Relationships of a romantic nature should be the last thing on her mind. That's just her.
You have idealized this woman to the point that you have lost sight of the red flags, she uses her emotions and distance to control your actions. You've become conditioned, you seem to have no sense of self worth and you basically rely on her to know whether you are doing something right....isn't that cute, BUT IT'S WRONG! You need to get a grip and know that this woman does not define you, you define who you are. You are by all rights an intelligent human being, and you deserve to be in healthy, non co-dependent relationships. The women are out there and you can meet them, will it be hard? Yes. Will you have to suffer some heartbreak to find the right one? Yes. But as long as you know that you are a good person and that you can contribute in a constructive manner to relationships then you don't have to put up with this kind of manipulative, destructive, emasculating, and all around toxic environment.
Stay strong, avoid her, and find somebody with whom you enjoy spending time but where the time spent together doesn't define your life.
. You'd probably have to make her do, like, half damage.
