[Contest] Insult or compliment Dave and win a prize!

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Dave

Dave

Staff member
This one will be easy enough. It's a Twitter-style contest (140 characters max) where the most creative insult or compliment of Dave wins.

Rules:

  • Any entry exceeding 140 characters will be disqualified.
  • Anyone can enter as often as they like. Want to creatively insult me 50 times? Cool with me!
  • I will be actually tweeting some of these so don't go too nuts on the vulgarity.
  • Did you notice we have a front page now? With content?
  • Are you even reading the rules?
  • I'm the judge but my wife will probably chime in at some point.
  • There's secret bonus points for a specific action but I ain't saying what it is. Because I'm evil.
That's it. That's all there is to it. So the prizes? All Steam games. How's about...
Third Place: Costume Quest
Second Place: Psychonauts
Grand Prize: Humble Bundle V!! (Sword & Sworcery, LIMBO, Amnesia: Teh Dark Descent, Psychonauts, Bastion, Lone Survivor, Braid, and Super Meat Boy!)
Contest goes until Monday. Winners will be chosen and announced Tuesday.
I also have a Carnival Games code for the 360/Kinect but I don't know how many people have/use Kinect. I know NR has one! :p
That's it. Gimme what you got, mang!
 
Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Dave, I just want to thank you . . . for inventing the wheel. Hope you and the other caveman who worked on it are still getting royalties!
 
Piotyr

Piotyr

Dave, you are the board patriarch, every poster's dad-in-law. Meaning you sit quietly with a shotgun in case anyone fucks with your board.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Eh, I already own most of those games, so here's my "best" shot:

You are a butt face. You have a face that is like a butt.
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

I tried the new Kinect game based on Dave, but really, how many times can I slap his flappy old hooties back and forth?

(You knew I was going there, didn't you?)
 
Fun Size

Fun Size

Dave's so hardcore that Samuel L. Jackson had a special card made to stick out of his Bad Mother F***er wallet. It says "That Dave's a".
 
Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Sorry for the “Old Joke” earlier, Dave. *clears throat* I SAID, “SORRY FOR THE ‘OLD JOKE’ EARLIER, DAVE!” YES, WE’LL GO TO IHOP LATER!
 
S

SeraRelm

If you were a hot girl, I'd totally be attracted to you.


Out of all the men I know, you are one of them.


Your unswerving dedication to friends and family is remarkably admirable.


Roses are red, violets are blue, f**k, you're ugly.


While we may, at times, disagree, you, more than most, are someone I respect and whose opinion I value.


Didn't Belle cure you yet?


I wish I had a family as close and caring as yours. (at one point true)


Did you find your precious yet?


These boards/this community would be nothing without you.


Thank you for being a good example... of why I'm glad I'm gay.


(Ok, I'm done. I tried to avoid the jugular and/or overly mushy.)
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

D'aww, I was hoping I'd be the first to go for the flappy hooties. Oh well!


Oh flundered gruntbuggly, Donallitude
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled donally
On a lurgid bee
That mordiously hath bitled out
Its earted grabatiously
Into a rancid festering Dave
 
phil

phil

"Man, fuck that guy," said the hobo. Everyone agreed with him, though none said so. "yeah, fuck Dave" was then the mood of the bus stop.
 
TommiR

TommiR

Dave must have giants' blood in him.

edit: Also, the below is not an entry on account of it's length, but I felt like it seemed strangely appropriate.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Dave, my son!
 
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