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International Blasphemy Day

Sep 30, 2009#1

ZenMonkey

Have at it.

Sep 30, 2009#2

Shegokigo

I think we should make it a forum game:

Say the most blasphemous thing you can think of:

"Star Wars Ep.3 was the best Star Wars movie of the franchise!"

Sep 30, 2009#3

SeraRelm

Kurtz Is a genius and we were wrong about Buckley.

---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:17 PM ----------

Also, /thread

Sep 30, 2009#4

Dave

Jesus was gay. Why else would he hang around with 12 guys all day long and never touch the prostitute who wanted to give him a freebie? Dude was busy riding asses into Canaan, if you know what I mean.

Sep 30, 2009#5

Hylian

Praise you Tom Brazelton!!

Sep 30, 2009#6

ZenMonkey

International Blasphemy Day and the best you guys can come up with is "Kurtz is a hack" and Star Wars?

Weak. Sauce.

Sep 30, 2009#7

Shegokigo

Weak sauce is not giving an example of a 'better one'. :slywink:

Sep 30, 2009#8

Green_Lantern

The original plan was Adam&Steve.

...

Okay, I admit that sucked, I going to my corner and think in something better >.<

Sep 30, 2009#9

Shegokigo

Green_Lantern said:
The original plan was Adam&Steve.

...

Okay, I admit that sucked, I going to my corner and think in something better >.<

:tumbleweed:

Sep 30, 2009#10

Dave

Hey! I made Jesus suck cock and take it up the ass! What more do you want? 69 with Allah?

Sep 30, 2009#11

AshburnerX

You know what? I agree with this. A society cannot truly be free unless no topic is taboo.

Sep 30, 2009#12

Shegokigo

Dave said:
Hey! I made Jesus suck cock and take it up the ass! What more do you want? 69 with Allah?

Mohammed and the Dali Llama getting it on with Mother Teresa I guess.

Sep 30, 2009#13

Dave

God created Jesus and Satan for no purpose other than to test Humans. So when Hitler killed all those people he was doing God's will.

In fact, ALL evil is God's fault. If he truly is omnipotent then he knows exactly what is going to happen at all times so free will is a sham and all religions are based on this sham.

Sep 30, 2009#14

SeraRelm

*yawn* religious blasphemy.

It's all old hat now, we need to move on to what people on this forum seem to find important.

Sep 30, 2009#15

Dave

Sera is really a man. He just likes to pretend because then he likes to stroke it when creeps hit on him.

---------- Post added at 02:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:40 PM ----------

Batman sucks. Green Lantern is a pussy.

Sep 30, 2009#16

SeraRelm

Wait, one of my oldest uploads on imageshack and I didn't even think to post it...

Sep 30, 2009#17

General Specific

Shegokigo said:
I think we should make it a forum game:

Say the most blasphemous thing you can think of:

"Star Wars Ep.3 was the best Star Wars movie of the franchise!"

I can beat that...

Jake Lloyd and Jar Jar are the two best things to happen to the Star Wars Franchise ever.

Sep 30, 2009#18

Krisken

Transformers 2. Best. Movie. Ever.

Sep 30, 2009#19

SeraRelm

Мой пенис большой.

Sep 30, 2009#20

Green_Lantern

Since the language is already in the NSFW levels, I guess this won't add that much >.<

Sep 30, 2009#21

ZenMonkey

Now we're rockin'.

And the reason I didn't provide an example other than the tags is because you guys are much better at this than me. Yes that is a compliment.

Sep 30, 2009#22

MindDetective

SeraRelm said:
Мой пенис большой.

очень большой?

Sep 30, 2009#23

Dave

SeraRelm said:
Мой пенис большой.

И какую славную круглую головку оно имеет!

Sep 30, 2009#24

Krisken

Hm, Religion, eh?

Sep 30, 2009#25

General Specific

Motivators:

Sep 30, 2009#26

SeraRelm

MindDetective;266181][quote=SeraRelm said:
Мой пенис большой.

очень большой?[/QUOTE]

очень.

Sep 30, 2009#27

Rob King

Probably disappointing in it's un-offensive-ness, but I laugh so hard every time I see this.

Sep 30, 2009#28

Dave

Singularity.EXE said:
Let's see if I can fail at Youtube inserting.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VABSoHYQr6k][/youtube]

Dude. Go to the YouTube. Copy the URL. Paste it here.

---------- Post added at 03:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:10 PM ----------

Sep 30, 2009#29

Thread Necromancer

This forum is the biggest disappointment since the crucifixion.

thank you foamy

Sep 30, 2009#30

Singularity.EXE

The stupid post wouldn't let me edit it, every time I tried it would just think about it forever. So I deleted it and made a new post.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VABSoHYQr6k[/ame]

Sep 30, 2009#31

North_Ranger

Casting Shia LeBoeuf as Apollo and having the script written by Uwe Boll would have saved Battlestar Galactica from being a trite, boring yawnfest.

Sep 30, 2009#32

Thread Necromancer

The Finnish can't even do saunas correctly.

Sep 30, 2009#33

Green_Lantern

The cruxification of Jesus was actually a SM session that went too far.

Sep 30, 2009#34

Iaculus

Green_Lantern said:
The cruxification of Jesus was actually a SM session that went too far.

You mean 'Forgive them, Father' was the safety phrase?

Freud, eat your heart out.

Sep 30, 2009#35

General Specific

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK4UThZanro"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK4UThZanro[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPOfurmrjxo"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPOfurmrjxo[/ame]
Miss ya, George

Sep 30, 2009#36

V.Bond

Sep 30, 2009#37

ElJuski

Shush girl, and shut your lips. Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.

Shush girl, and shut your lips. Do the Anne Frank and talk with your hips, because if you talk normally the Nazis will find and kill us.

Shush girl, and shut your lips. Do the Terri Shiavo and....

Shush girl, and shut your lips. Do the Catholic Priest and twiddle some kids.

Sep 30, 2009#38

North_Ranger

Thread Necromancer said:
The Finnish can't even do saunas correctly.

You have just made a powerful enemy.

Sep 30, 2009#39

ElJuski

Also, I just realized I wasn't blasphemizing so much as just being offensive. I STILL STAND BY MY POSTS

Sep 30, 2009#40

Fun Size

Amorous Bitch said:
Yes, I'm a transsexual pansexual muslim. Do I think God hates me and I will burn in hell? Fuck you.

You know, I keep seeing people saying that they are pansexual, and all I can think of is people who get all hot and bothered by this:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_f3TMdW8b4[/ame]

Aw Hell, who am I kidding. I just listened to that, and I would hit it like the fist of an angry god. He's so dreamy.

Sep 30, 2009#41

North_Ranger

Amorous Bitch said:
Yes, I'm a transsexual pansexual muslim. Do I think God hates me and I will burn in hell? Fuck you.

Wait, wut?

Sep 30, 2009#42

ElJuski

I remember shadow of the beast!!! That game was such a fucking trip.

Sep 30, 2009#43

@Li3n

Dave said:
Hey! I made Jesus suck cock and take it up the ass! What more do you want? 69 with Allah?

No way dude... he was definitely a top...

Sep 30, 2009#44

HCGLNS

Greedo shot first.

Sep 30, 2009#45

Le Quack

Jesus would totally be a porn addict if he was in this day and age.

Sep 30, 2009#46

Andromache

all your gods and kings will die before your species does.

Sep 30, 2009#47

tegid

Oh my God... I was thinking 'NR wins the thread, that BSG was, like, waaarglbgl!'

Then I facepalmed to my own comment.

I'm not good at blasphemy so I won't even try, because everything I think of sounds completely dumb.

---------- Post added at 10:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:54 PM ----------

Crone said:
all your gods and kings will die before your species does.

Sep 30, 2009#48

Cat

idubthissocietalblasphemy.txt

Sep 30, 2009#49

Andromache

Cat said:
Jail? Roman Polanksi should get a medal. What guy doesn't want to fuck jailbait?

i am so glad i withheld the "I support NAMBLA and NAGLA" statement

Sep 30, 2009#50

Cajungal

Sep 30, 2009#51

PatrThom

For this thread, I will share this link I only discovered a couple of days ago.

http://www.badkarmaproductions.com/jc/?p=35

It is awesome in its execution.

--Patrick

Sep 30, 2009#52

Cat

Crone said:
i am so glad i withheld the "I support NAMBLA and NAGLA" statement

offensiveforthesakeofbeingoffensive.txt

---------- Post added at 09:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 PM ----------

:ugh: I just creeped myself out.

Sep 30, 2009#53

Andromache

and I think we have a runaway winner for creepiest person at Halforums.

Sep 30, 2009#54

ZenMonkey

It might have worked if it had anything to do with blasphemy. As is, I kinda want to ask people to erase that stuff from their posts. Skates too close to the primary rule around here.

Sep 30, 2009#55

North_Ranger

Cat said:
:ugh: I just creeped myself out.

Sep 30, 2009#56

Cat

Ya, now I'm washing my hands.

Sep 30, 2009#57

Wasabi Poptart

Sep 30, 2009#58

Cajungal

Amorous Bitch;266461][quote=Cajungal said:

This was brilliant.[/QUOTE]

^_^ glad you like

Sep 30, 2009#59

ZenMonkey

Thank you very much, guys.

Also, CG's and Frau VildSoul's were hilarious.

Sep 30, 2009#60

General Specific

Sep 30, 2009#61

ZenMonkey

I only lash out at children to collect their blood for my Passover matzoh. The rest of the year I'm a perfectly reasonable atheist and kill them humanely by lethal injection.

Sep 30, 2009#62

Iaculus

ZenMonkey said:
I only lash out at children to collect their blood for my Passover matzoh. The rest of the year I'm a perfectly reasonable atheist and kill them humanely by lethal injection.

Wait, you mean you eat them dead? I mean, sure, mercy's all well and good, but you're seriously slipping there, Zen.

Sep 30, 2009#63

ZenMonkey

Iaculus said:
Wait, you mean you eat them dead?

Agnostics eat them. Atheists...we have other plans. SCIENCE!

Sep 30, 2009#64

Cuyval Dar

Indiana Jones 4 was the best out of them all.

Sep 30, 2009#65

phil

once while drunk and walking my dog I told off a church for holding the country back.

Not the members of the church, but the church itself.

I'm not sure if i'm doing this right.

Sep 30, 2009#66

Ravenpoe

Carl Sagan was a douchebag, and stupid.

...

*goes to repent*

Sep 30, 2009#67

bhamv3

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2626739/1/The_Mark

“Cain. Please look at me.” Abel knelt and touched and kissed his brother’s cheek. It was as cold as stone. “Please, you’re my brother, and I love you.”

There are moments in life when people can pinpoint the exact time they snapped, when there were one too many straws piled too high. This was Cain’s moment. Inside a lifetime of prejudices smoked and burned away the final piece of his heart. He took his brothers hand before it had been fully taken away.

“I know you are my brother. If you truly love me kiss me again, stronger; as if you pluck them by the roots.”

Abel did so, aiming for the cheek, but somehow he missed. As their lips met Abel was surprised at how cold they felt against his own, soft but very cold. The warmth from his flushed into his brothers. Inside Cain’s head an idea formed and solidified. He wouldn’t just hurt Abel. The river ran deeper than that. He wanted to destroy him. Cain poked out his tongue and gently ran it over his brother’s upper lip. Abel automatically opened his mouth in reply and Cain slipped his tongue inside. He placed one hand on his warm cheek, another on the small of his back and carefully tipped him backwards, setting him down on the dirty soil.

Sep 30, 2009#68

Iaculus

... Bound to happen sooner or later.

Oct 1, 2009#69

Yavaux

Your grandma begged me to give it to her but I passed her up for the handicap red head down the street

thta's right, your gradma is that bad...
I'm not even going to post this, I'm not drunk enoguht to know better....

what?....

fuck

Oct 1, 2009#70

Iaculus

Yavaux said:
Your grandma begged me to give it to her but I passed her up for the handicap red head down the street

thta's right, your gradma is that bad...
I'm not even going to post this, I'm not drunk enoguht to know better....

what?....

fuck

... Aaand this, kiddies, is why the water => wine conversion trick is not a toy.

Oct 1, 2009#71

Dusty668

Thor Dammit!

Oct 1, 2009#72

tegid

Episode I completed Star Wars so well. The midichlorians were totally necessary!

I tried.

Oct 1, 2009#73

JCM

tegid said:
Episode I completed Star Wars so well. The midichlorians were totally necessary!

I tried.

Lucas had midichlorians in the Extended Universe guide he gave writers before he made The Empire Strikes back, but he decided not to put them in the movies.

I wonder why he didnt continue this and avoid making an already terrible movie, worse.:flock:

bhamv3 said:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2626739/1/The_Mark

“Cain. Please look at me.” Abel knelt and touched and kissed his brother’s cheek. It was as cold as stone. “Please, you’re my brother, and I love you.”

There are moments in life when people can pinpoint the exact time they snapped, when there were one too many straws piled too high. This was Cain’s moment. Inside a lifetime of prejudices smoked and burned away the final piece of his heart. He took his brothers hand before it had been fully taken away.

“I know you are my brother. If you truly love me kiss me again, stronger; as if you pluck them by the roots.”

Abel did so, aiming for the cheek, but somehow he missed. As their lips met Abel was surprised at how cold they felt against his own, soft but very cold. The warmth from his flushed into his brothers. Inside Cain’s head an idea formed and solidified. He wouldn’t just hurt Abel. The river ran deeper than that. He wanted to destroy him. Cain poked out his tongue and gently ran it over his brother’s upper lip. Abel automatically opened his mouth in reply and Cain slipped his tongue inside. He placed one hand on his warm cheek, another on the small of his back and carefully tipped him backwards, setting him down on the dirty soil.

Click to expand...

Oct 2, 2009#74

PatrThom

Ravenpoe said:
Carl Sagan was a douchebag, and stupid.
...
*goes to repent*

Say what you will, he could freestyle pretty well (with a little help from MC Hawking).

Also, in case my previous link wasn't clear, here's an image/link.

--Patrick

Oct 2, 2009#75

tegid

I read it, it was awesome (minus some of the slight scathology)

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