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So early this morning Gabe of Penny Arcade posted an email chain the went between him, a reader called Dave and Christoforo an executive at Ocean Marketing.

During this email chain Christoforo was not only unhelpful to the customer but also very rude and then he turned all that on Gabe insisting that Gabe had no power to keep him out of PAX if he even wanted to have a booth there since he was already going to bigger conventions.

The chain was posted about 9 hours ago and their product the Avenger Controller rating has already fallen to three stars despite overwhelming positive reviews earlier, Kotaku who Christoforo declared would be on his side has remained neutral and it looks like they will have a huge shitstorm on their hands.

Overall should be interesting to watch a man who claims his name is gold in the gaming community take on some of the most beloved and successful people in the gaming industry. Though really I don't think the outcome will ever be in question.

Relavant links:
http://kotaku.com/5871235/controller-company-berates-customers-penny-arcade-bring-popcorn
http://penny-arcade.com/2011/12/27/just-wow1
Amazon product
Amazon product

The worst part is Christforo writes like a third grader. I've never seen so many typos and grammatical errors outside a teenage girl's texts or Facebook posts...

I like how quickly he went from trying to calm things over so Mike wouldn't blast him, right back to "whatevr my kid can make a better site and I know people!"

Holy cow.

I was under the impression that this conversation happened with a pr firm handling outsourced customer support, not the actual manufacturer. Or is there some closer connection between the two companies?

Sad thing in all this, is the blow back Ocean Marketing ( 1 t) is going to get for having a similar name to these chumps.

As loathe as I am to declare something ironic on the internet, the branding phrase that Ocean Marketting has chosen to appear on the first page of their website is just too much

Your brand is no stronger than your reputation and will increasingly depend on what comes up when you are Googled.

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I love how he brags about who he knows and how connected he is, until he finds out that Mike co-created PA. Then he kisses ass until Mike makes it clear that he's gone too far... then it's back to the childish claims of connected friends and infinite power in the industry.

Oh noes! He's going to have his marketing team start a smear campaign! PA is doomed!

The cyber police have back traced him. Consequences will never be the same!

I looked at the thread on this over at PA and they are tracking all the folks on twitter who are disowning this guy and calling him out. People he mentions in his emails that are his "bros" like the guys who run IGN and Kotaku. Man, whoever makes this controller better fire this guy fast.

Holy crap. He could give Kurtz lessons on unprofessionalism. I'm guessing this guy just doesn't want to have a successful business anymore.

Dude has changed his company's Twitter handle to... OceanStratagy. Way to go, guy.

(actual photo of Paul Christoforo)

And there's this: http://imgur.com/a/co8js

Wow this guy @ Ocean Marketing is just mentally deficient in so many ways how did he ever get a gig like this in the first place?? What did he have a bunch of Bud Lights with the crew at Ocean Marketing and have one drunken brilliant insight, and they all said,"Hey brilliant idea let's make this guy head of PR!" then immediately regret it 2 weeks later?

Only thing I don't agree with is the interweb morons smearing the guys family. Otherwise, yeah, the tool is fair game. What a jack-ass.

PA points it's finger at a target, and BOOM! It's gone.

Anybody see the update at PA? Guy begs Gabe to stop the internet hate machine, Gabe basically goes meh, burn motherfucker.

Before the guy canceled his original twitter account, he was actually retweeting IGN's tweets disowning him.

It might not always make the most business sense and it is a policy that has caused us some legal problems, but I really don’t give a shit about that. When these assholes threaten me or Penny Arcade I just laugh. I will personally burn everything I’ve made to the fucking ground if I think I can catch them in the flames.

-Gabe out

Click to expand...

Mental note: never fuck with Mike or Jerry.

Good on PA

I can't stop following this. Paul's twitter account is a fun read. http://twitter.com/#!/oceanstretagy At one point he claimed he was going to take everyone's credit card numbers and sell them. From what I understand 4chan has now got involved. Fark has a thread on this with some good comments in there.
I love the follow up on PA where Paul basically says "Please make it stop". Mike's response "
I love Penny Arcade. And they are saying in the Fark forum Paul has lost his job.

this guy doesn't know how to back off, he is literally going to keep yelling until someone finds him and ends him, my dollar is on one of shegos associates.

Someone on Fark suggested that newest twitter is a fake. The controller maker has pulled their account with his firm, and their phone has been disconnected.

Gabe:

I think there is a big difference between being sorry and being sorry you got caught. I have a real problem with bullies. I spent my childhood moving from school to school and I got made fun of everyplace I landed. I feel like Paul is a bully and maybe that.s why I have no sympathy here. Someday every bully meets and even bigger bully and maybe that.s me in this case. It.s the same thing that happened with Jack Thompson. It might not always make the most business sense and it is a policy that has caused us some legal problems, but I really don.t give a shit about that. When these assholes threaten me or Penny Arcade I just laugh. I will personally burn everything I.ve made to the fucking ground if I think I can catch them in the flames.

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I cannot this enough...

Seriously, this guy is giving Reed Hastings a run for his money.

Sounds like this guy is running his little enterprise from his house. He somehow ended up with marketing rights to the Avenger. Looks like he's done a lot of work building up interest in the product & generating sales (planted customer ratings on eBay, Amazon & the like). But judging from both of the examples of his fine PR work, it looks like he's having cashflow issues. i.e. - he needs $X to be able to get the units off the dock in China. So he illegally charges the credit cards of all his pre-orders, & floats the check to get the product moving. Then it hits customs, & now he needs $X to clear customs. I'm sure next up he would have needed $X to ship all the units out. All these paid for by illegally charging the customer before the item actually ships. Every step was delayed by an amount of time necessary to generate enough pre-orders to pay for the next step.

Whatever the issue, it seems the guy is coming down for some roid rage.

pvponline Scott Kurtz

This Ocean Marketing shit is why I treat Mike and Jerry like that kid from The Twilight Zone. Don't wanna get wished away into a cornfield.

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This is the most entertaining thing on the internet since Homestar Runner's debut.
Added at: 04:00

Dubyamn said:

The chain was posted about 9 hours ago and their product the Avenger Controller rating has already fallen to three stars despite overwhelming positive reviews earlier, Kotaku who Christoforo declared would be on his side has remained neutral and it looks like they will have a huge shitstorm on their hands.

Click to expand...

Just in case anyone missed it, Kotaku's not so neutral on the matter anymore.
http://kotaku.com/5871400/cut-paul-oceanmarketting-christoforo-a-breakhe-probably-just-has-roid-rage

Man this is too good.

I'm guessing this has the brazleton marker because that guy killed his career?

Killed? He raped it, skinned it, and ate it alive.

And if he's very lucky, it was in that order.

(Hee. Firefly quotes.)

Woooow, this has been an interesting read. How can anyone with that poor of a grasp on customer service dare call themselves a PR professional? I'm glad that the company creating the controller has tossed this douchenozzle to the curb.

Actually I'm not so sure he qualifies as a PR professional. Marketing does include some PR, but he seems to have concentrated on the "How can I make fat stacks of cash off this product" portion of the marketing.

I have to admit, that Kurtz tweet was comedy fucking gold, Jerry!

Dave said:

I have to admit, that Kurtz tweet was comedy fucking gold, Jerry!

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Yeah, he should put more of that in his strips.

Is that what happens when you merge Beeker and Dr. Bunsen?

They're cool guys, they can take a bit of joking. Besides, I'm hardly like that tool. I also don't really have a future to ruin.

This is delicious.A nice way to start the day.Took me a while to get all the twitter accounts sorted out...
@OceanStratagy is the current twitter account of Christophoro
@OceanMarketting - taken over by a gamer after Christophoro canceled it.
@oceanStretagy - another troll account.

And this email

Hey Joel,
3rd party agency we were using to help us through the Holidays . I think things are a bit blown out of proportion on this today.
Brandon Leidel,
Director of Marketing
brandon@avengercontroller.com

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turned out to be Chirstophoro masquerading as Brandon Leidel.The balls on that guy,would be huge.If they didnt shrink due to Anabolic Steroid use.

Penny Arcade guys- "Bullying is terrible*"

*unless you're bullying rape victims, then lol

Charlie Don't Surf said:

Penny Arcade guys- "Bullying is terrible*"

*unless you're bullying rape victims, then lol

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Wat.

Oh that wacky internet, they've now uncovered the San Diego Court documents showing the guys arrest for spouse abuse.

bhamv3 said:

Wat.

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I think he may be referring to the dick wolves....

that works too, when you are a tool named charlie dont surf

The dude is only semi-literate. How he even landed this account is beyond me.

Heh, he made the PA cartoon today.

Oh man. Gabe with a grinch smile is pretty disturbing. Right into the uncanny territory.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that people here think it's funny to make fun of uppity rape victims, but well

Charlie Don't Surf said:

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that people here think it's funny to make fun of uppity rape victims, but well

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Can you show us on this dolly where the internet touched you?

HCGLNS said:

Can you show us on this dolly where the internet touched you?

Click to expand...

This touched me in all the right ways

ANYWAYS, regardless of where you fell on the dickwolf shit, I just think it's hypocritical by them to be all "yeah take that bully" when doing nothing to defend offended parties from being bullied by all the dickwolf fans

Charlie Don't Surf said:

ANYWAYS, regardless of where you fell on the dickwolf shit, I just think it's hypocritical by them to be all "yeah take that bully" when doing nothing to defend offended parties from being bullied by all the dickwolf fans

Click to expand...

Sigh.

Charlie Don't Surf said:

ANYWAYS, regardless of where you fell on the dickwolf shit, I just think it's hypocritical by them to be all "yeah take that bully" when doing nothing to defend offended parties from being bullied by all the dickwolf fans

Click to expand...

Mike pretty much acknowledges that he's being hypocritical though. He's fighting a bully with bullying tactics. In this particular conflict, he's got the bigger gun, and he's quite happy to let might make right.

And I'm quite happy to watch.

Charlie Don't Surf said:

Penny Arcade guys- "Bullying is terrible*"

*unless you're bullying rape victims, then lol

Click to expand...

Yeah that's what they did Charlie. That's exactly what they did.

Also anybody getting shunted to today's comic no matter what comic you click on in the archives?

Yep.

Yep.

Charlie made an obtuse and/or inane comment that's getting everyone riled up?

I, for one, am shocked. Shocked, I say!

Rape and turkey genocide makes for some mighty good trolling.

sixpackshaker said:

Rape and turkey genocide makes for some mighty good trolling.

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As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

HCGLNS said:

As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

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When I heard that punchline the first time it aired, I laughed till I cried. I think it is still the first time I ever did that.

HCGLNS said:

As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

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That is seriously one of my favorite moments/episodes in Television history. I made all my friends who had never heard of WKRP watch that this past Xmas, and they all loved it.

Charlie Don't Surf said:

I made all my friends who had never heard of WKRP watch that this past Xmas, and they all loved it.

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Edit: I'm making this image in jest, I'm one to talk. Zero social friends and currently dateless. Still I couldn't resist.

Shegokigo said:

Edit: I'm making this image in jest, I'm one to talk. Zero social friends and currently dateless. Still I couldn't resist.

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I'll be your anti-social friend.

Shego, if you ever swing by Houston, I'd buy you a drink.

Charlie Don't Surf said:

Shego, if you ever swing by Houston, I'd buy you a drink.

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And then he'd feel guilty over it afterwards.

Adammon said:

And then he'd feel guilty over it afterwards.

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I wouldn't be doing it in a "trying to sleep with" skeezy way. I buy people drinks as a gesture of friendship all the time.

I live south of Houston. I'd buy you a drink too

Houston meet

There are a lot of us in the area.

I just hope it would not devolve into a bar flame war.

I swear I am not this much of a jerk irl

But I am...


Nah, not really.

I'm way jerkier, haha.

Charlie Don't Surf said:

I swear I am not this much of a jerk irl

Click to expand...

Then why don't we ever see that side?

Na Nick, Charlie is normally well behaved. He can just twist the metaphorical knife very well.

Charlie Don't Surf said:

ANYWAYS, regardless of where you fell on the dickwolf shit, I just think it's hypocritical by them to be all "yeah take that bully" when doing nothing to defend offended parties from being bullied by all the dickwolf fans

Click to expand...

You should make your own thread on it so we can ignore it there. Oh, wait...

Fuck off, Charlie, just fuck off.

DarkAudit said:

Fuck off, Charlie, just fuck off.

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You just gave him one more reason to keep posting

DarkAudit said:

Fuck off, Charlie, just fuck off.

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DA, you really need to lay off with that shit.

Krisken said:

DA, you really need to lay off with that shit.

Click to expand...

Did you mean: Shit off, DA, just shit off?
Added at: 19:26

sixpackshaker said:

Na Nick, Charlie is normally well behaved. He can just twist the metaphorical knife very well.

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Is this indicative of his comment about not being a jerk in real life?

Um... no. The dude has white knighted Osama bin Laden and danced with glee over a man's cancer diagnosis. Fuck him.

And I called him out on each of those things. So have other people.

So, make sure the "fuck off" is deserved in the future.

sixpackshaker said:

And I called him out on each of those things. So have other people.

So, make sure the "fuck off" is deserved in the future.

Click to expand...

If he posts, it's deserved...

Hey you guys, stoppa picka at da Charlie, picka at da Christoforo!

http://ingame.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2...stened-gaming-rep-responds-to-internet-infamy

Yes, we now return you to your regularly scheduled career implosion...

Kotaku has an entire section on Paul now.

He still does not seem to get it. He just sees this as the big mean bullies at PA picking on him, and he is taking zero responsibility for how much of a prick he was being to his customers.

I have zero sympathy for this asshole, and I hope he continues to suffer professionally.

Wait, who was the cancer guy

also, I don't recall ever saying Osama Bin Laden wasn't a piece of shit

Charlie Don't Surf said:

ANYWAYS, regardless of where you fell on the dickwolf shit, I just think it's hypocritical by them to be all "yeah take that bully" when doing nothing to defend offended parties from being bullied by all the dickwolf fans

Click to expand...

I see it differently. Mike stood up for a kid who was mistreated, mocked and powerless. He gave the bully a taste of his own medicine, well deserved, and humbled the moron. This will blow over in a couple of days but this jerk learned a lesson on how to deal with people. Paul represented a business and should have more sense than that. And he also should have realized that anything he types can be put out there for all to see. You don't like the kid questioning you? Just ignore him. But you keep going at him then try and bully Mike? No sympathy here.

I have zero sympathy for the PR guy and am not defending him in any way.

Im not sure I see the pr guy as a bully in the initial email interaction. I mean he was definitely an asshole but that's about it from what I saw.

God, Chuck makes every thread gold. If I make it to texas in May, I am taking him out and buying him a scotch on ice.

I fuckin' love scotch

God damn right, chuck

Shannow said:

God, Chuck makes every thread gold. If I make it to texas in May, I am taking him out and buying him a scotch on ice.

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Ice? ICE? Get some of these-

No point in watering down the good stuff.

I bought those as a gift for someone's birthday and then immediately wished I had bought them for myself.

They keep popping up on woot at a really good price. I always kick myself for not buying them.

Those rocks are wrong. Ocean Marketting wrong!

Whatever bro, I know the Mayor of Boston and he uses those rocks.

Those stones seem like a good idea, but I know I end up chipping a tooth on one as I have a habit of chewing ice in my drinks.

not the first time that Paul is a douchbag towards a customer:
http://www.natesnetwork.com/Poor-customer-service

Best Paul comment:
"Customer service of old is gone were in a new generation now"

http://www.engadget.com/2011/12/29/n-control-dismisses-marketing-consultant-discounts-ps3-avenger/

AVENGER CONTROLLER DISMISSES MARKETING CONSULTANT, TAKES BACK MARKETING AND SALES OPERATIONS

Miami, FL--- Wednesday, December 28, 2011--- N-Control, makers of the Avenger Controller accessory, have categorically dismissed third party contractor Paul Christoforo and his marketing operation, known alternately as Ocean Distribution or Ocean Marketing. This separation from Mr. Christoforo extends to all business interests of N-Control, its founders, and its officers. Mr. Christoforo does not and never did own, in whole or in part, a stake in N-Control LLC nor its affiliated companies (Kotkin Enterprises, iControl LLC).

Following the publication of an email chain between Mr. Christoforo and one of N-Control's customers, punctuated by Mr. Christoforo's acknowledgement of his conduct, N-Control immediately proceeded to extricate Mr. Christoforo's access to their email and social media accounts, a process that is still ongoing. In the interim, a Gmail address and Twitter account (AvengerDefender@gmail.com and @AvengerDefender, respectively) have been set up for press inquiries and customer service needs.

David Kotkin, the inventor and founder of the Avenger Controller, created the product to help one of his students who had a physical disability. The student wanted to play games the way that everyone else could. The Avenger evolved from a homemade solution for a deserving child into an even more sophisticated controller accessory, capable of enhancing even the most skilled gamer's performance.

"Everyone deserves the opportunity to be a part of the gaming community in a fun, positive way." said David Kotkin, Avenger founder. "I created the Avenger to make people happy. I deeply regret that so many people have any negative feelings toward it as a result of what has happened, especially since I've seen first-hand what an impact it can have on gameplay."

Kotkin continued, "What I'm most concerned about is doing right by our customers. We have dropped the ball by giving them delivery estimates that did not come through as expected. We didn't expect that the demand would be so great, and we should have done a better job communicating that. Our new team is taking all necessary action to correct that going forward. I hope that people will give us a chance to earn back the faith they may have lost."

All existing orders will be honored, and PS3 Avenger pre-order customers will all be extended the same $10 discount that some have already received. To clarify, customers who have already received $10 off their pre-order are not eligible for an additional discount. N-Control agrees with "Customer Dave" that all of our PS3 early adopters deserve to be rewarded for their trust in the Avenger.

N-Control would like to publicly apologize to existing and potential customers, as well as the gaming community at large, for allowing Mr. Christoforo to abuse his power so unforgivably. The Avenger was invented to provide greater accessibility to disabled gamers, and bullying tactics are the last thing that should be associated with this product.

In the effort to dispel various misconceptions that have been forwarded via news reports and social media, N-Control is offering the following clarifications on a variety of subjects:

N-Control has hired an independent consultant, Austin, Texas-based Moisés Chiullan (@moiseschiu), to field press inquiries and oversee sales and marketing operations going forward. They ask that customers and the press alike bear with them as they field the tens of thousands of emails and other messages that N-Control has received. It is his intent that N-Control should respond personally to everyone who has emailed the info@avengercontroller.com address regarding this situation.

"We have to move forward and take care of Avenger's customers," Chiullan said. "I can't worry about the fact that there isn't a bus big enough for me to throw Paul Christoforo under. The internet did that for me. I think they set him on fire too." He continued, "I just hope that people will have the common decency to leave his wife and child out of all this. They didn't send those emails, Paul did."

All PS3 Avenger pre-orders are currently slated to ship by January 15th at the latest. Some orders will ship in advance of January 15th. In consideration of the events of the past two days, N-Control ask their customers to bear with them as they sort out updating individual order estimates. General updates regarding shipping will be regularly delivered to customers starting next week.

At no time during his tenure with N-Control did Mr. Christoforo have direct access to customer credit card information. N-Control does not retain any customer credit card data for online orders, which are all processed via Google Checkout or Paypal.

Ocean Marketing aka Paul Christoforo owns no stake in the Avenger Controller nor N-Control, and does not stand to profit from further sales of the device either through N-Control or authorized resellers.

Contrary to how Mr. Christoforo may have presented events (in public or private), N-Control never directly endorsed nor had knowledge of his communication with customers in the manner found in his correspondence with "Customer Dave", who still wants his Avengers, despite everything that has transpired.

Steps have been taken to ensure that all future customer communication is transparently visible to management at N-Control. N-Control regrets sincerely that the trust they placed in Mr. Christoforo was so abused and betrayed and, as a result, may have tainted their reputation with existing and potential customers and partners.

Regarding "Afternoon Artists", a company registered with the Florida Division of Corporations that lists Paul Christoforo as Treasurer, N-Control has the following statement: "This secondary business has never so much as opened a bank account, much less operated in any form outside of paperwork being filed. It was originally intended that Mr. Christoforo would serve as an investor in this company, which, again, has never operated in any capacity, nor will it in the future."

N-Control employs Eli Schwartz as a part-time Social Media Consultant. He is an enthusiastic high school student who became one of the Avenger's earliest super fans, meeting the founder at a trade show. Mr. Kotkin is proud to encourage the development of a bright, enthusiastic young person like Eli.

Eli Schwartz is not, however, in charge of Marketing or PR for N-Control. Previous news reports have credited him as Marketing Manager, a title Mr. Schwartz gave himself without the consent or advance knowledge or N-Control management. This occurred during the period of greatest upheaval following Mr. Christoforo's dismissal, and N-Control regrets that this mixed messaging reached the public. All press inquiries and media requests should instead be directed to Moisés Chiullan at the AvengerDefender@gmail.com address.

Contrary to rumors and speculation, Eli Schwartz's Twitter account is his own and not controlled by Paul Christoforo. Mr. Schwartz is a minor, and consequently, N-Control would appreciate the press and the public's discretion in their dealings with him.

For the foreseeable future, N-Control's official Twitter account will be "@AvengerControl", as N-Control does not have access to "@NControlAvenger". N-Control is not responsible for the content of any Twitter feeds associated with Paul Christoforo.

For the foreseeable future, N-Control requests that customers discontinue use of the toll-free phone number displayed on the AvengerController.com website, as well as any other means of contact found there. Instead, customers should direct communication to AvengerDefender@gmail.com. They ask for patience due to the events of the last two days. Keep an eye on @AvengerControl on Twitter for updates.

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Yup. Hope all those people who got out their pitchforks will go back to Amazon and change their reviews. It wasn't the product that was bad, it was the dipshit they hired to market it.

Props to N-Control for professionalism. Pay attention, Christoforo.

The Scapegoat Press Release:

1. Apologize.
2. Publicly dismiss bad employee. Derision optional, but highly recommended for its cathartic benefits.
3. Set record straight regarding common questions.
4. Provide new, accurate information and methods of contact.

I think they did this right. They didn't do it out of haste. They spoke clearly, and methodically addressed each major issue.

I suspect that they've successfuly divorced the controller and their business from the actions of the bad guy, and that they will see greater orders and success due to this whole event than if dave was quiet and PA never got involved. So this is really an advertising coup for them. Make hay while the sun shines, and all that...

And, as a side benefit, he wasn't a scapegoat - this is entirely deserved. But it's still the same as a scapegoat press release.

When determining effect of bad PR on your company, ask the general public these questions:

1) Did you know of our company/product before the bad publicity?
2) Do you believe that the bad publicity reflects poorly on our company/product?
3) Did we respond to the bad publicity in a positive manner?
4) Do you have more interest in purchasing our product now as compared to before our bad publicity?

Also, I'm available for handling bad press at any time.

It's true, most people recognize the dude is a jackass but the product is good. This easily has made them a gamer household term.

I wonder if this was part of his strategy. Imagine this - a marketing guy who gives up himself and his future in a mega-blast for a client. He could be a genius who values the product over his own legacy.

Given that previous examples of his behaviour have been documented and are now widely distributed I would say that by the logic of Occams Razor; he's a duck.

That sounds like a conspiracy keanu.

Shegokigo said:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/ba37/?srp=1

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Love Thinkgeek. Never had an issue with any product I've purchased from them until this Christmas. I bought a bluetooth watch for my father in law back in October (I'm an early Christmas shopper). The invoice clearly stated "no returns after 30 days" so I hoped there were no issues. Christmas day he opens the gift and the charger is broken. I write ThinkGeek and explain the situation. I say "I'm aware I'm outside of the 30 day return policy and am not asking to return it. I would just like to purchase the charger separately if I could." Their response "we're sorry you got a defective device and we will gladly exchange it." That's customer service.

Ugh, the Forbes interview of Christoforo is such vomit inducing puffery, I shall only allude to it here.

I just read the Forbes piece. He still doesn't get it. I love how he thinks Mike was in the wrong for not making it completely clear how much influence he had before Christoforo picked a fight with him. He uses the metaphor of picking a fight with a martial arts master in the bar, and implies that the martial arts master should warn an opponent before the first punch is thrown.

I have a crazy idea... how about you don't pick a fight and don't throw the first punch at all? The entire metaphor makes it clear that Christoforo regrets that he was a dick to an important person, not that he was a dick in the first place.

It's more like the story of the guy who tried to mug a MMA fighter.
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/262298/20111206/anthony-miranda-mugger-bruised-mma-fighter-photo.htm
Falls under "you got what was coming to you." Someone in the Fark comments said "Karma will pay Penny Arcade back for this" to which someone replied "For all the raised for children's charity and scholarships they've given they could put kittens in a blender and Karma would give them a high five the next day."

Yeah, Paul's apologies and such just come off as him being an idiot. He's just "that type of guy".

i hate to say this, but sometimes might makes right....in this case PA brought their might to bare.

I bought the self stirring mug Dave was raving about, not the stirrer (?) gets stuck and you have to start it spinning by hand before you put in any liquid then it'll work for that one, but the next time you go to use it it does the same thing. I am a disappoint.

Same thing happened to mine. Apparently you have to lubricate it and that's not stated. If you talk to the ThinkGeek dudes they'll get ya new one.

you could have had some nice parallelism with ejaculate and a mention of the lubing.


luuuubing.

I feel like crap and don't wanna hunt for the pics, so...
*backwards cat gif*
*abe simpson exit gif*

Not sex. "Self-stirring".

it's a sin!

makare said:

it's a sin!

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Just a little one.

Dave, I didn't know you knew GB's dad.

mr_thehun said:

so is that what the kids used to call masturbation when dave was young?

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Na, back then it was "loping the mule."

I don't see why people are making a big deal about whipping one's sweet, milky liquid into a rich, creamy froth.
I guess some people just don't want to stick their tongue into dairy air.

--Patrick

SeraRelm said:

Dave, I didn't know you knew GB's dad.

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No. *I* am his father!

Dave, does this mean that you're an ewok, in part or in whole?

What the hell happened here?

A lot of frothing at the mouth.

--Patrick

Quotemander Prime said:

What the hell happened here?

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If you have to ask, it's too expressive for you.

mr_thehun said:

I always like whipping my cream into hot coffee

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I don't think that is how coffee is made. Then again, I don't drink coffee.

What do you lube it up with, Dave?

*shove* *push* *yank*

*tries to get the thread back on track...*

Something's been nagging at me the last couple of hours. Was anyone on Christoforo's side responsible for order fulfillment or charging for orders?

boo

Boo?

hoo?

yes boo as in that sucks.

Complete Thread Derailment by Page 4.

We're on schedule, nothing to see here.

makare said:

boo

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bees

That's a crock, Terrik. Everyone's heard about the bird.

makare said:

boo

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David said:

bees

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http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nw1vm/ama_the_guy_who_replaced_paul_christoforo_and_is/

Lurd Tunderin Jebuz dis guys inna rite!

TL : DR

After getting fired, PC didn't release control of the ncontroller website and emails and continued to act as their first line of contact, then tried to blackmail the company into paying him for their own digital assets until somebody smarter than PC told him to wake the fuck up.

Holy fuckballs this Paul guy is a piece of work. Every time I thought he couldn't get any lower and I feel a little sorry for the shitstorm he got caught up in, he says or does something that makes me shake my head and laugh at him.

Feel sorry for his wife & kid, though. Hope he's a different guy at home than he is at "work".

the new guy, I like him, he seems level headed and decent. god willing they can undo the damage and right the ship. my vote is for them to do good by paul's mistakes.

Dave said:

Holy fuckballs this Paul guy is a piece of work. Every time I thought he couldn't get any lower and I feel a little sorry for the shitstorm he got caught up in, he says or does something that makes me shake my head and laugh at him.

Feel sorry for his wife & kid, though. Hope he's a different guy at home than he is at "work".

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He has a newborn and plays video games for 5 hours a day.

HCGLNS said:

He has a newborn and plays video games for 5 hours a day.

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LIVIN' THE DREAM

http://www.natesnetwork.com/Poor-customer-service

I'm pretty sure that this has been posted before, but I'm halfway through reading this. When I say that Christoforo is very likely the worst person to represent a company ever, I DEAD SERIOUS!

Would it be too Nick of me to say that Christoforo needs a good PR team?

I think this is going to be very good for our buddy Kurtz.

Kurtz has a habit of sticking his foot in his mouth, but he's generally not an ass about it. Paul on the other hand, is an abrasive and abusive bully who is full of a strange mix of hot air and shit. I think that as Kurtz looks at this situation he can see that sometimes it's better to not say anything at all.

Frankly I've seen a HUGE difference in Scott's communications since he moved in with the PA guys. Khoo is a fricking master of PR and I think he's having a positive effect on PvP. It's really a great thing.

Hey, maybe Paul could hire Khoo...

I doubt Scott's going to benefit much from this whole scenario. After all, I doubt he thinks he sticks his foot in his mouth very often.

It's sort of like if you think you're a good driver, when actually you drive like a blind fifteen-month-old who's sending SMS's at the same time with both hands. When you drive past the scene of a crash, you don't think to yourself, "Wow, maybe I should drive more carefully." You think to yourself, "Ha, good thing that's never gonna happen to me!"

But yeah, associating with the PA guys can only be a good thing. Tycho, Gabe and Khoo know their stuff.

The only person that's going to benefit from this is Paul Christoforo. Villains make money in our society. He'll be offered interviews, places on reality TV shows, a book deal, etc. All because Dumbass Krahulik thought that it was appropriate to basically turn his version of Anonymous against another dumbass.

Guess what? What Paul did wasn't exactly dastardly criminal masterminding.

Nice try, Paulmon.

like any reality TV show is going to care about someone that the internet got mad at and forgot about after a couple days

Charlie Don't Surf said:

like any reality TV show is going to care about someone that the internet got mad at and forgot about after a couple days

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Adammon said:

The only person that's going to benefit from this is Paul Christoforo. Villains make money in our society. He'll be offered interviews, places on reality TV shows, a book deal, etc. All because Dumbass Krahulik thought that it was appropriate to basically turn his version of Anonymous against another dumbass.

Guess what? What Paul did wasn't exactly dastardly criminal masterminding.

Click to expand...

Being a colossal dick is not against the law (thank God.) But it can be worthy of scorn.

this guy will not be on any reality TV show except maybe one that airs on PSN exclusively

Charlie Don't Surf said:

this guy will not be on any reality TV show except maybe one that airs on PSN exclusively

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You say that like there's some kind of quality level to be a reality TV star.

Well now that some one smarter than PC is directing him, this should peter out quickly and maybe PC can salvage something out of this. If he can avoid the courts and stop talking about the situation and let whoever his new handler is do there job.

All I can say is I'm leaning more towards the issue as interpreted here: http://kotaku.com/5872042/

I am with Mike Kurz, the top commenter myself.

1. Customer pre-orders product
2. Product misses ship date
3. Customer emails customer service, get's terse response that doesn't say much other than a date
4. Customer emails customer service after that date and requests an update
5. Customer service BERATES customer for asking for an update

Keep in mind that this is a pre-order - the customer has put money on the table. The customer service should simply have said, "Yeah, hey, sorry, our latest date is now in January." at MINIMUM.

But instead - after putting money on the table - the service insults and berates the customer, treating their request for an update as a childish thing.

THEY PUT MONEY ON THE TABLE.

The transaction has been half completed. There is NO call for customer service to berate the customer for asking for a new delivery date.

There is GREAT call for the customer to ask, "You've missed two delivery dates - can you give me another date, and what is the chance you'll meet it?"

When my clients pay me, I don't get to thumb my nose at them and tell them to suck it up and wait once I've gone past my estimate.

This guy is getting blasted because he took the customer's money, then slapped the customer when he failed to deliver his product and the customer asked a reasonable question about delivery.

When you choose to act out, you better be prepared for the blowback. There are entire websites devoted to consumer stories where manufacturers and retailers have done the wrong thing after receiving payment for products or services. His behavior is under no circumstances acceptable.

He'd getting it harder than he probably deserves, but what do you expect a customer to do when you insult them, give them no information, and no way to seek reparation? They are going to find an outlet for their unhappiness.

At one point I created a website blasting State Farm Insurance for some problem which their local agent refused to help me with. I sent a tweet or two, and within hours of creating the website and sending the tweet my issue was resolved by the corporate office, and the local agent learned some "new" processes they "hadn't been aware of" when I originally brought the issue up. I'm still with them, though with a different agent, because they immediately sought to resolve the issue and did to my complete satisfaction.

This customer email blasted a LOT of people with the exchange, and luckily he got a bite from Penny Arcade, simply because this stupid marketer used the name PAX.

Taking your problem to the internet can and does work, and the marketer better realize sooner rather than later that if they aren't careful in all their communications, they may get bitten, chewed up, or eaten live by the people who have been burned before with no resolution, who are more than happy to support a fellow consumer in their crusade against a relatively minor issue.

I don't disagree with anything you're saying Adam. What I am saying that the majority of the anguish over this $10 is being exacerbated by slacktivist nerds fighting against a 'foe' that they're inventing. OMG STEROIDS. OMG WIFE BEATER. OMG SPELLINGZ. Finding reasons to pound on a perfect stranger is what bullies do.

Holy crap, a customer service agent was rude to a customer. Stop the presses. The only reason this matters to certain people is because it's an opportunity to "fight" and "win" on the Internet. Doesn't make it any less retarded.

Adammon said:

over this $10

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The $10 was brought up well after the initial problem, but I thought this was a $80 or so pre-ordered device that kept missing its delivery dates?

I don't disagree with you that this level of animosity is clearly undeserved. This guy is the whipping boy for every bad transaction every gamer has had over the last few years. He has become the popular cause, and when people put a face on bad customer service, it's going to be his face for some time.

It should, however, prove positive for consumers in the long run, as no one will want to be the "next christophoro," and marketers are going to be changing how they interact with fans.

However, the animosity is clearly deserved. He's getting more of it than he deserves, but what I'm getting at is that at a basic level it's not undeserved.

Besides, he had 5 chances, by my count, to back off and apologize before it blew up.

Not only did he skip those opportunities, but he turned them around and used them to say, "screw you - I'm right to be treating a customer this way."

He kept pulling the trigger in the gun, and eventually his game of russian roulette caught up - and while it was just a simple game to him, the bullet turned out to be real.

PA may have loaded the bullet with more gunpowder than he realized, but he still pulled the trigger himself.

Even after the PA blow up, he's had a lot of chances to drop it and become forgotten rather quickly. Now though? Yeah, this will be remembered by every nitwit with a keyboard.

http://penny-arcade.com/khoo/viral

Math!

And the internet feeds itself

Adammon said:

OMG STEROIDS. OMG WIFE BEATER. OMG SPELLINGZ. Finding reasons to pound on a perfect stranger is what bullies do.

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Except he is all three of those things and therefore valid targets for the response to his behavior.

Shegokigo said:

Except he is all three of those things and therefore valid targets for the response to his behavior.

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I have to be honest, I am befuddled as to why Adammon would defend this guy.

Adammon, are you trying to take Charlie's sword?

I don't think he is defending him in the least. I believe he is criticizing the response generated by the situation.

I think it's a little over the top, but to think people are awful for commenting and getting involved in this d-bags actions seems a little strange to me. It could have just as easily been any one of us he was a total peckerhead to, and I for one see this as one of those few positive times where the internet mob attacked the right target and ultimately helped the person who deserved it.

Dude seemed like a major dick. He then proved himself to be a major dick.

Most people have run in with these guys all the time and never are able to do anything about it. Mike gave them a chance to do something about it for once.

They apparently took him up on the offer. Doesn't bother me much I guess.

I'm not defending the guy. I work in PR; what he did is my nightmare that every week I'm called upon to undo.

1) What Mike from PA did (posting the whole exchange to PA) was uncalled for. He either didn't know what kind of response would come out of it, making him an idiot. Or he knew and he's an asshole. Having seen him do similar things in the past, I'm leaning more towards he's an asshole. The internet is full of dumbshits who look for an excuse to be dumbshits.

2) Every dumb shit with a keyboard or a phone haranging Paul either through Twitter, phone calls/emails to his home, harassing his gf, etc. Yes, we get it; you were bullied by Steve in Grade 3 and now this is your chance to get even with anothe bully. You could have done something about it at the time, but instead you take the path of least resistance and wait 10, 15, 20 years to lob verbal grenades into a situation that you have no part to play in. But whatever gets your limp dick hard I guess. This is what admittedly motivated Mike from PA. Makes my stomach turn. Christoforo looking and sounding like a fucking meathead justifies the transference I suppose.

3) The thing that really pisses me off: the only person getting anything out of this is going to be Christoforo. Yes, he lost a job he was terrible at. And then he was interviewed by Forbes magazine, MSNBC, International Business Times with kid gloves. Victims sell. The victim here was Dave, who received rude emails from a customer support rep, and now it's Paul, who has been bombarded with everything from hate mail to phone stalking. Has Dave been interviewed by Forbes?

It's like the Streisand Effect in reverse.

I never defended him, just attacked the PA douchebags

Yeah! I'm the victim in all of this!!


Wait. Different Dave.

Or he's a douche who acted like a douche and won't stop acting like a douche. So he gets shit on for acting like a douche.
World moves on.

Ok, I couldn't make this up if I tried...

Just received an email forward from our CFO about a company that approached him for some PR work.

(name of CFO),

Are hundreds or even thousands of your customers complaining, posting or commenting about (business name redacted) on Yelp, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Blogs, and other Social Media sites? Do you have an effective strategy that responds to, resolves and reports on these complaints on an hourly basis around the clock?
At AGS, our customer service associates are experts at proactively monitoring and addressing your customer service issues on all Social Media sites. In a quick 10 minute call, I can explain how AGS accomplishes this and further understand your situation.
The AGS Social Media Customer Service will:

• “WOW” customers in minutes
• Create a positive customer experience
• Develop the right Social Media Strategy that supports your global brand

Responding to hundreds of posts and comments in real-time with the right “personalized touch” is very important, but also very difficult, expensive and time consuming. In real-time, globally 24/7, minute-by-minute, we proactively monitor, engage with, resolve and report on all comments posted on Social Media sites. Our associates actively engage with each customer, regardless of their comment (negative, positive or otherwise) according to your customer service initiatives.
(name of CFO), let’s schedule a quick 10 minute call time to see how AGS can help your business. Simply reply to this email with a day/time that works for you or give me a call at (480) 630-8207.

Click to expand...

*sigh*

I of course responded with "Son Im 38 I wwebsite as on the internet"

"Wow" customers, indeed. As in, they'll smack their foreheads, shake their heads and say, "Wow."

Adammon said:

Snip

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That would have been so awsome if Paul Christophoro would have send that.
Added at: 23:50

LordRendar said:

That would have been so awsome if Paul Christophoro would have send that.
Added at: 23:50

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They're in the exact same business - fraud.

Robert Khoo did an AMA on the whole ordeal here today.

EDIT: By did, I apparently mean is doing, as the last reply was 5 minutes ago.

Piotyr said:

Robert Khoo did an AMA on the whole ordeal here today.

EDIT: By did, I apparently mean is doing, as the last reply was 5 minutes ago.

Click to expand...

Sometimes I don't think that guy is real person. He's like Owen to Gabe and Tycho's Xanatos. Where would Xanatos be without Owen? He'd be a fucking statue. Khoo is a mythical being that was created by a wish to do what they needed most. That is a more believable explanation than the one where he's some business genius guy who dug their comic and told them he'd work for free to prove that he could be valuable to them making them all millionaires in the process.

There's no other way to describe it - Khoo is a wizard.

Holy crap. He starts his day before 8am and leaves work between 12-2am? He's going to be dead in less than 5 years.

From around 17-25 I never slept more than 4hrs.... now? Any less than 6 and I'm a crabby bitch all day.... granted I'm usually a crabby bitch but less than 6hrs of sleep, more so.

I mean, I know people who don't need much sleep but that sounds like an unhealthy schedule to keep for a sustained period of time.

The messed up thing is that despite that, he appears to be in good health, and doesn't really seem overly tired.




Because he's a wizard.

He could be a short sleeper.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/12/short.sleepers.daylight/index.html

Espy said:

I mean, I know people who don't need much sleep but that sounds like an unhealthy schedule to keep for a sustained period of time.

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I did it for nearly a decade.... it had some bad side effects to be sure though.

I randomly go through periods where i am wide awake after 5 hours whether I want to be or not. Since my kids have been on break I've been sleeping for 10, and I'm not quite sure why....... >.>

I'm gonna go with my first theory and say he isn't actually a person but a mythical being.

I think it's based on whether you love what you do or not. If you get up and you get to go work with Penny Arcade, more or less on your own schedule, handling such interesting projects... Hell yeah it'd be awesome to get up for that. They're obviously all enjoying themselves since they play games and such at night.

He seems to have a perfect job.

He only has to trance for 4 hours and prepare his spells because he is an elven wizard.

And it continues:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/new...an-Marketing-Attempts-To-Extort-Former-Client

He's such a stand-up individual. I don't know why more people aren't on his side!

I believe R Lee Ermy said it best, "What is your major malfunction, numb-nuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?"

If this asshat would show even one bit of remorse for what has happened I would be inclined to feel that there has been a collective overreaction here. But the only thing he is sorry for is that he got caught. He still feels he is in the right here, even going so far as to believe he's done N-control a favor. While I don't doubt the end result here will be a net gain for N-control, they will have had to do a LOT of work to negate the Christoforo effect. The fact that this guy is going down clawing & grasping all the while STILL making a last ditch cash grab.

To the best of my knowledge, he STILL has not apologized to "Dave" or any of the other "little people" - you know, the customers. He has made some apologies to the big people that he so desperately wants to be friends with (the PA folks, Kotaku EIC, etc), but those don't really count.

While I agree that any harassment of this guy's family crosses the line, I think one thing that should be the end result here is that this douche-nozzle should never make another cent in his chosen profession again. But I think we all know that won't happen. He'll lay low for a bit, change the name of his business, print up some new cards, maybe change his name a bit, & re-emerge. All this makes his current line of action more strange. Just go away, tail tucked between his legs & start the healing process.

In other news - why do we condemn this when the internet ruins a guy's life (Bad businessman, steroid abuser, wife beater & general all-around ass), but we have no problem when they do the same to a 14-year old girl?

the guy does have a great super villain name.


oooo or a really flamboyantly gay artist

Or both? A flamboyantly gay artist supervillain?

id watch that

Adammon said:

I'm not defending the guy. I work in PR; what he did is my nightmare that every week I'm called upon to undo.

1) What Mike from PA did (posting the whole exchange to PA) was uncalled for. He either didn't know what kind of response would come out of it, making him an idiot. Or he knew and he's an asshole. Having seen him do similar things in the past, I'm leaning more towards he's an asshole. The internet is full of dumbshits who look for an excuse to be dumbshits.

2) Every dumb shit with a keyboard or a phone haranging Paul either through Twitter, phone calls/emails to his home, harassing his gf, etc. Yes, we get it; you were bullied by Steve in Grade 3 and now this is your chance to get even with anothe bully. You could have done something about it at the time, but instead you take the path of least resistance and wait 10, 15, 20 years to lob verbal grenades into a situation that you have no part to play in. But whatever gets your limp dick hard I guess. This is what admittedly motivated Mike from PA. Makes my stomach turn. Christoforo looking and sounding like a fucking meathead justifies the transference I suppose.

3) The thing that really pisses me off: the only person getting anything out of this is going to be Christoforo. Yes, he lost a job he was terrible at. And then he was interviewed by Forbes magazine, MSNBC, International Business Times with kid gloves. Victims sell. The victim here was Dave, who received rude emails from a customer support rep, and now it's Paul, who has been bombarded with everything from hate mail to phone stalking. Has Dave been interviewed by Forbes?

It's like the Streisand Effect in reverse.

Click to expand...

I was going to respond after reading through this cluster-fuck of a story, but you sum up my feelings perfectly.

Can we say lingering bully issues. God, get over it people!

Mike and Paul are douchebags, that's all I'm seeing. Paul is horrible at his job, and was rightfully fired. Mike... where the hell does he come into all of this? White knight internet douche.

The real loser is Dave, who gets nothing out of the deal - unless you consider he's also got bully issues and is relishing in his 15 minutes of internet fame.

In fairness, Mike never claimed to not be an asshole. He fully admits that he was being a hypocrite, but wanted to do it anyway.

I love a good internet dramatrain fiasco.

Christoforo does something wrong, is unapologetic about it.

Mike publicly berates him, knowing that it will hurt, is unapologetic about it.

News at eleven.

Then of course Christoforo decides to top it off with a potential felony. There are precedents of people pulling that sort of cyber-extortion, and they end with (albiet small) amounts of jail time for "computer intrusion", apparently. In addition, since he's still handling their customer service email, he's committing a form of fraud by representing himself as an employee of the company that fired him.

http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/tokidoki-barbie-doll-t7939

And now look at this!

What.

The.

And that has to do with all of this why...?

I think the reason the story took off the way it did, is because the customer asked a reasonable question of customer service, was given contradictory and false answers, then basically told, "You're not important to us, so suck it." By the person whose job was to both take care of customers, and to help spread awareness of the product. Since it's a gaming product, that would imply having a necessary knowledge of the gamer market, which Penny Arcade most certainly figures into, not the least of which by having two major conventions. Mike's initial response is also not that bad - as one of the heads of PAX, he has every right to say, "Wow, that's some asshole customer service, we don't want them at our show." By responding to Christoforo, he was basically letting him know why. And that's where it took off to eleven. Christoforo basically proceeded to spit in the face of his own market, refer to his own customer as "some loser crybaby kid" and act like he's some kind of internet badass to someone that he honestly should not have fucked with. Now, calling in the internet goon squad is kind of shithead move, too, but at the same time, would doing anything less have gotten the guy fired, which he deserved?

I think the bad reviews on Amazon, and the personal threats to the guy's family are way beyond acceptable. That's your basic internet shithead pack frenzy in action.

Shegokigo said:

I did it for nearly a decade.... it had some bad side effects to be sure though.

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Polyphasic sleep is absolutely wonderful...when your schedule permits it.

Imagine what it would be like if every week were somewhere between 10-12 days long. That's about what it's like.

--Patrick